Chapter Eighteen
Heven
“I need to tell you something.”
I knew by the tone of his voice and the look on his face that it wasn’t good. After my mother left, I’d come outside to sit on the porch steps to wait for Sam. I knew I made the right decision by signing those papers and promising to go back to church, but I still doubted myself. I knew that once I saw Sam my insecurities would go away.
When his truck came up the long dirt drive my heart fluttered in anticipation. But hearing his words now did not erase any of the tension coiled inside me. “Okay.” I clasped my hands in my lap and waited for more bad news.
The screen door squeaked open and Gran poked her head out. “Breakfast is getting cold.”
“Thank you for having me,” Sam said politely.
“My pleasure, Sam. Come on in.”
I stood to follow Grandma, but felt Sam grasp me from behind. “Hey.”
I looked over my shoulder.
“Don’t look so sad, honey.” He pulled me close. “It’s not terrible. We’ll talk after we eat.”
I nodded.
“Where’s the smile I saw this morning?” He tickled my ribs.
I squirmed, a giggle escaping. He pressed a kiss to my cheek. “Everything is going to be fine.”
The way he said it, I wondered who he was trying to convince.
“You think this isn’t terrible?” I asked, my stomach turning.
“I know it isn’t.”
“You just told me that China is back.” From wherever it was that she went.
He nodded.
“The woman who attacked me–” I reached up to my unsightly scars and continued, “–has been stalking me, has threatened you, and wants me dead?”
He sighed.
“This is terrible.”
He grabbed my shoulders and leaned down to look directly into my eyes. “Listen to me, do not freak out. I just wanted you to know so that you would be more careful.”
Oh, that made me feel better. Now I could add worrying about him getting killed to my list.
“Breathe, honey,” he reminded me. “In. Out. In. Out.”
My lungs obeyed.
“That’s my girl.”
We sat there a long time, in the middle of my grandma’s orchard, beneath the newly budding fruit trees. I felt grateful that Sam had suggested we walk after breakfast, because this news, coupled with my morning adventures with Mom, did not put me in the frame of mind to hide my anxiety from Grandma.
“What else happened this morning?”
“What?”
“Heven, I know something happened. When I left you this morning everything was good. The next time I saw you there was pain in your eyes. What happened?”
I felt so safe with him that the words tumbled from my lips without thought. “My mother.”
He stilled. Even his heartbeat slowed. “She came to see you?”
“Yeah. She threatened to make me move back home.”
He sucked in a breath.
“But I filled out the papers for that camp and promised to go back to church.”
“Why would you do that?”
“Because if I had to move back home, she wouldn’t let me see you. She wouldn’t let me do anything.”
“I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
“I think I hurt her feelings.” I regretted that much more than I’d realized.
“Your mother’s?”
“Yeah. She was shocked that I wanted to stay here so much.”
He grunted.
“For a long time now it’s been just me and her. I thought that wouldn’t change, you know? But now it’s like we are two completely different people, and she doesn’t understand me at all.”
“I understand.” I heard the emotion behind his words. He did know. More than anyone ever could.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured, wrapping my arms around his back and pressing in closer.
“Aren’t we a pair?” he wondered, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. Then, “You always smell so good.”
I wondered how I would live if he ever got taken away from me.
Too soon we had to leave the orchard. Sam had to work. I was sitting at the table with my second steaming cup of coffee at my elbow. I had a feeling I was going to need the caffeine today. Sam entered wearing a pair of clean khakis and a polo shirt embroidered with the Planet Fitness logo. The shirt was tucked in neatly, and he was wearing a brown leather belt. I smiled at his cuteness.
“Well, Sam, don’t you look ready for a day at work,” Grandma said, looking up from her crossword.
“Thank you for letting me change here,” he mumbled, looking a little embarrassed. I wanted to jump up and kiss him. I settled for a grin instead.
“What time does your shift end?” Grandma enquired without looking up.
“Uh, six, ma’am.”
“Just in time! I just put a roast in the oven. It should be ready right around that time. Why don’t you come back and join us for supper?”
My heart soared. Now I wouldn’t have to make an excuse to hang out in my room or the barn all evening so I could be with him. I tried to control my smiling. It was no use.
“Thank you,” He accepted graciously.
On his way toward the door he paused and turned back. “Ma’am? Would it be all right if I took the want ads from the paper with me? I could take yesterdays or last week’s if you still have them,” he rushed to add.
Grandma shuffled this morning’s paper around and pulled out a thin section. “Searching for another job?” she asked, handing them over.
“He already has two,” I blurted out. He couldn’t possibly have time for a third job, school, and me.
He grinned, his eyes sliding over to me. “I live with a few roommates right now that I don’t really get along with too well. I was hoping to find a smaller apartment or an efficiency that I could rent on my own.”
Excitement whirled through me. If he moved, there would be somewhere we could go to be alone! I would know where he lived and might actually be allowed to visit him!
“Good luck with your search,” Grandma told him, returning to her crossword. “We’ll see you at dinner.”
“Yes, ma’am. Thank you.” I followed him out to the back porch, closing the door behind us. I whirled around to see him smiling at me. I launched myself at him, laughing.
“Really? You’re moving?”
“Yes.” He kissed the tip of my nose.
“Will I be allowed to visit?” I batted my eye lashes at him.
“I’ll give you a key.”
I bounced around in his arms. The words I love you sprang onto my tongue. Instead I said, “Can I help you look?”
“I don’t know, it’s going to be pretty boring,” he teased, faking a yawn.
I smacked him in the stomach. He made an “oomph” sound and then grinned. “Okay, you can help.”
“I can’t wait!”
He was still grinning, which took all the warning out of his tone, “It’s going to be a few weeks until I can move.”
I nodded sagely.
“It probably won’t be that nice of a place.”
“Any place with you will be heaven.” I ducked my head shyly.
He lifted my chin with his finger; his eyes were soft. “I feel exactly the same about you.”
“Have a good day.” I said, sorry he had to leave.
“I’ll see you later?” His voice was deep and low.
I shivered, liking the way he made me feel. I walked him to his truck, and just before climbing in, he looked at me with somber eyes. “Would you please stay inside today? I’ll worry less if you do.”
I nodded. “Be careful.”
“I will.” He kissed me softly, briefly. “Go on in the house.”
I went, wondering the whole way how long until China came for me.
“What’s going on with you?” Kimber demanded.
“What? Nothing.”
Her eyes narrowed. “I know you better than that. We’ve been friends forever.”
“Why would you think there was something wrong?” Like say, my boyfriend is a hellhound, and it turns out that his hellhound roommate is stalking me and trying to kill me? Or maybe my Bible-beating mother thinks that the disfigurement on my face (that said stalker put there) is because I have been marked by evil and that she thinks I’m about to go completely postal at first chance?
She studied me. I felt like she was trying to pick out which lie she should call me on. Then she shrugged. “You just seem kind of jumpy and a little more quiet.”
“Me? Jumpy? Queen of the panic attack and not wanting to go out in public?” I pressed my hand to my chest like I was shocked she would say such things.
“Shut up.” She laughed. “I guess you are like that all the time.” But then she looked around her bedroom as if to make a point. I had been the one that wanted to hang out there instead of going to our fave coffee shop. “I just thought that stuff was getting better. You know with the wardrobe changes and prom and Sam. But lately, since prom actually, you seem to be worse.”
I never really thought Kimber was that observant of anything that didn’t revolve around her. I scolded myself immediately for that mean thought. Hadn’t she been the only one (besides Cole) who came to the hospital and treated me semi-normal after my attack? Hadn’t she stuck by me through all my moodiness, my crying, and my panic attacks after I came home all scarred and disfigured? She deserved more credit than I was giving her.
Tears sprang to my eyes. Kimber was my best friend, and she was right. Things had been super hard lately. But I still couldn’t tell her why. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m here if you need to talk,” she prompted, dutifully ignoring my tears.
“My mom thinks I’m evil,” I blurted. Then I slapped my lips together.
“What?” Kimber cried, dropping her hair brush and rushing over to the side of the bed.
I nodded, wiping at my eyes. What was the harm in her knowing this? Other than it being embarrassing, it wasn’t some big secret. “That’s really why I am staying at my grandma’s.”
“You said she needed help at the farm.”
I nodded. “I was embarrassed, and she really does need the help, but that’s not why I am there.”
“Tell me.”
So I did. I told her about Mom finding me in the kitchen with Sam, and how he was only there to check on me because I was sick (she still didn’t know the real reason I’d missed school). I told her the things Mom said and about the camp she was forcing me to go to this summer.
When I was finished talking, she looked at me with wide eyes. “Whoa. Makes me kind of glad my parents ignore me all the time.”
“I don’t know what to do,” I whispered.
“It’s going to be okay.” Kimber leaned in and side-hugged me. “Your mom will realize she’s being crazy and back off.”
“You think so?” I’d never considered that before. I was always too busy wondering if she was right.
“Absolutely. Your mom is strict, but she loves you. Maybe you should talk to her; try to work it out.”
“Maybe,” I murmured. The idea had some merit. Maybe I wasn’t giving Mom enough credit. Maybe if I went to her to talk, like an adult, then she would see I was still the same girl I’d always been. I looked up at Kimber. “Thanks.”
She smiled. “Anytime. Next time, don’t be so slow in telling me what’s wrong.”
If she only knew.
At least she was satisfied that she knew everything. I changed the subject. “How are you and Cole getting along?”
“Great! I would totally suggest a double, but what the heck is up with Cole and Sam?”
I rolled my eyes. “I have no idea.”
“Why can’t they just get along?”
“They would if they could get over the ‘who’s more macho’ thingy.” I said.
“For real, girlfriend.”
Downstairs the doorbell rang. I stiffened, a moment of panic freezing me. Would China find me here? Was Kimber in danger by being with me?
“Pizza’s here!” Kimber sang out and left the room.
I took a moment before following her, taking a deep breath as my fingers found my bracelet. The metal was warm, and I thought of Sam. The safety I felt with him was so strong that when we weren’t together it was like a hole in my chest. My hand found my cell and my fingers itched to call or text him, but I resisted. I shouldn’t rely on him for everything – how exhausting that must be for him. I was his girlfriend, not his child. I needed to act like it before I pushed him away.
Chapter Nineteen
Heven
“I was hoping we could talk,” I said, using the most respectful tone I knew.
“Sure honey, come on in.”
We both sat on the sofa. It was the same sofa we’d been sitting on for years. “I wanted to apologize for just leaving that day. We didn’t really have a chance to talk things over.”
“You mean the fact that you are marked by evil?”
She said it so casually, like she just accepted it.
“I don’t really feel like I am marked by evil, Mom. I feel like the same girl I’ve always been.”
“That’s the evil inside you, influencing you, making you think that you are on the right path.”
“I am not on an evil path,” I said, trying to hold on to my patience.
“You need to come back to church.”
“I will. That’s a great idea.”
“Break up with that sinner boyfriend of yours.”
“I won’t do that, Mom.” How could she ask that of me?
“I know what he is, Heven. He’s part of the evil in your life.”
“No, Mom. Sam is a good person.”
“Don’t worry, Heven. I found someone to help get the evil out of you.”
“You have?” A knot formed in the pit of my stomach.
Mom got up and went to the front door. She opened it and in walked China. She had long, flowing black hair, and her red nails looked like claws. She smiled a feral smile. “I’m here to help you.” She laughed.
I jumped up from the couch and screamed. “She’s the evil one! Don’t trust her!”
“Turn away from the evil, Heven.”
China advanced on me, her movements like that of a big cat.
“Sam,” I whimpered.
China laughed. She laughed so hard that I could see the back of her throat. In a low, flat voice she said, “He’s dead. I killed him. You’ll never see him again.”
“No!” I screamed, panic filling my chest. “Sam!”
China leaped on me and I fought. I fought so hard…
“Heven! Wake up, sweetheart. Wake up!” Sam shook me, whispering fiercely.
“Sam?” I blinked. Fear made me tremble.
“I’m here, honey.”
A broken sob escaped me, and I fell into him. “You’re safe,” I murmured. “You’re safe.”
He tensed and swiftly pulled away. “No!” I cried. He disappeared out the window. Tears streaked my face. He was gone.
The bedroom door swung open and Grandma was backlit by the hall light. “Heven? Are you all right?”
I cleared my throat. “I’m fine, Gran. I’m sorry I woke you. I was having a bad dream.”
“Want me to sit with you awhile?”
“No. Thanks. I hardly remember what it was about.”
“Well if you’re sure…” she came farther into the room to peck a kiss on my forehead. “Sleep well.”
“I love you,” I told her.
“As I love you.” She closed the door softly behind her.
I looked at the window. I waited and waited. More tears gathered in my eyes only to spill over. Where was he? I buried my face in the sheets and cried softly, trying not to disturb my grandmother again.
Gentle hands pried the sheets from my fingers and smoothed them on the bed. “I’m so sorry I had to leave like that,” S
am said, his voice pained.
I nodded.
“She went downstairs for a drink before she went back to bed. I had to wait. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay.” My voice was husky, like I hadn’t used it in years.
“You had a nightmare.” He slid beneath the sheets and gathered me against him, pulling the blankets around us. “You’re shaking.”
“China said she killed you.” My voice wobbled. “She said I would never see you again.”
“I’m here,” he murmured, brushing his strong hands through my tangled hair.
“I tried to be strong.”
“You are strong.”
“I need you,” I admitted. I couldn’t help it.
“You’ve got me.”
“For how long?” I whimpered.
“As long as breath fills my lungs, I will never leave you.”
I pressed myself so close to him I thought he might complain.
“She’s coming for me.” I felt it in my bones.
“Not tonight, baby. Sleep. I’ll watch over you.”
I slept.
I woke groggy and tired. I rolled over, reaching for Sam. He wasn’t there. I sat up, forcing my eyes open. “Sam?”
The room was empty. I flopped back down on the pillows as last night’s dream filled my head. China was back, and I was in danger, but I wasn’t worried about me, I was worried about Sam. What if he’d gone out this morning to find her? What if he was hurt? I groaned and swung my legs over the mattress. A piece of paper was propped up against the clock.
Don’t worry-I’ll be back soon.
I love you.
It made me feel a little better. I tried my best to push away the cobwebs and went to take a hot shower. The water felt good, and I stayed until the water turned cold. I took my time in the bathroom, blowing my hair until it was smooth and shiny. It had grown long this past year, falling to just beyond the middle of my back. Knowing I couldn’t stall the day any longer, I dressed in a pair of jeans and a pink and white striped T-shirt. I gave Sam’s note one last glance before heading downstairs for breakfast.
I was crunching on some cereal when Grandma came in from outside. “Aren’t you going to be late for school?”
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