“Nope, teacher workday.”
“That’s nice.” She went to the sink to wash her hands. “Now that spring has arrived, there’s going to be a lot more to do around here.”
“I’ll help out. Just make me a list of what needs to be done.”
She turned from the sink, smiling. “You already do too much.”
“Taking care of the horses and the barn isn’t that much,” I argued. “I was wondering if maybe you could teach me about the orchard? Maybe I could take care of it?”
“You’re interested in the orchard?” She seemed surprised.
“I walked up there the other day. It’s really peaceful and beautiful.” Not to mention that Sam and I spent precious ‘alone time’ there.
She got a wistful look in her eyes. “Your father always enjoyed working in the orchard.”
I smiled. “I remember. We always had so much fun picking fruit.” I wondered why I’d never thought of this before.
“The orchard hasn’t been a priority of mine for a few years. I am sure it needs some work,” she said, thoughtful.
“I can do it!”
“It’s hard work,” she cautioned.
I nodded emphatically. “I’d like to try.”
Grandma grinned. “Wonderful! If we get a lot of good fruit then we can set up a farming stand and people can come and buy bushels of apples or pick their own. I haven’t done that in years,” she mused.
“Can I plant some pumpkins, too?” An image of Sam carving out a pumpkin popped into my head. It made me smile.
“I grew those when you were little.”
“I remember.”
“It’s a plan, then.” She nodded, smiling. “Are you sure you’re up for it?”
“Sure.” I pulled out the newspaper. “I was thinking I might get a job too, just for the summer.”
“A job?”
“Mmmhmm. So I can start saving for a car and to have some spending money.”
“I think that Sam is a good influence on you.”
I nodded. “He works really hard. He has two jobs just to support himself. He pays rent and buys his own food…” my voice trailed off. And he does all of that while taking very good care of me. How is he not utterly exhausted?
“He’s emancipated?” Grandma asked. I’d told her that he was when I first came to stay.
I nodded. “He didn’t get along with his dad at all. It caused his parents to fight a lot, so Sam figured that it would be best for his mom if he moved out.” It was as close to the truth that I could get.
“Well, I like him. He has good manners, and he always cleans his plate.”
I giggled. “You really approve of him?”
“I really do,” she said, sitting at the table across from me with her coffee. “But don’t tell your mother,” she whispered.
I laughed, but inside I felt really nervous. I decided to take Kimber’s advice and try to talk to my mother. I mean really, how could things get any worse?
Grandma and I were making plans for the orchard and looking over the want ads when Sam knocked on the door. I was so relieved to see him that I bounded through the open door and flew right into his arms.
He chuckled. “Good morning.”
“Morning,” I said, stepping back and returning to my chair.
Sam closed the door behind him and came into the kitchen.
“Help yourself to some coffee, Sam,” Grandma said. “I didn’t make breakfast this morning; I was out in the barn doing chores.”
I froze, remembering that Sam was staying there and had a bunch of stuff in the loft. I caught his eyes, and he shook his head slightly. I relaxed, guessing he cleaned it out.
“I already ate,” Sam said while he poured some coffee. I got up and got out the cream and sugar for him and handed him a spoon. Then I got down a bowl and poured some cereal, adding milk. I sat it in front of him at the table, giving him a stern look. Power bars were not breakfast. Especially for someone with his metabolism.
He dug in with gusto.
I sat down, satisfied.
“Here’s one, Heven,” Grandma said, pointing. I leaned over to see. The local ice cream shop was hiring part-time help for the summer. It was a possibility. Then, I wondered if I could take strangers coming in every day staring at my face. Get used to it, I told myself.
“I’ll check it out later,” I said.
“Check what out?” Sam said, draining the bowl of all its milk.
“I’m getting a job this summer.”
His bowl hit the table with a clink. “A job?”
I nodded.
I could see he didn’t really like this idea, but he couldn’t say so in front of Gran.
“The ice cream shop is hiring. I’ll give you free ice cream,” I sang.
He smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Sounds delicious.”
“Grandma is going to show me how to take care of the orchard this year, too. We want to open a farm stand when the fruit is ripe.”
His eyes displayed real interest. “The orchard we walked to the other day?” Was it a special place for him too?
I nodded with a small smile.
“Cool.”
“That reminds me, Sam. I have an offer for you,” Gran said, cutting into our private moment.
Sam turned his eyes to her. I felt a little hollow for the loss.
“I know you have two jobs and may not want another, but I could use a farmhand around here for the summer.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Sam nodded.
“You could come out early in the morning, or in the evening – whatever works for you. I’ll pay you, and you’d be welcome to stay for supper or breakfast, whichever you’re here for.”
I could barely contain myself. I was so excited.
“I could come first thing in the mornings,” Sam told her, “before I go to my other jobs.”
My excitement dimmed. Would this be too much for him? How much could one person take? Maybe he shouldn’t take the job.
“Wonderful. I’ll show you how to work the tractor tomorrow. You can do all the mowing, and I’ll show you where everything else is. I’m sure Heven will need help with the orchard, it’s probably really overgrown.
“Thank you for the opportunity, ma’am.” Sam smiled. “You know, I would do this work for you for free.”
My heart melted. He was so, so sweet.
Gran smiled. “I know. But it’s honest, hard work and you deserve to be compensated for your time.”
“Yes ma’am.”
She chuckled. “And please call me Silvia.”
He nodded and stood, taking his empty bowl to the sink. My breath caught when he looked at me. He was so completely gorgeous that I wanted to pinch myself.
“So, I need to go somewhere, and I was hoping you…”
“I’ll go anywhere with you,” I rushed out, cutting him off.
He grinned and Grandma laughed. I blushed so much my face felt hot.
“Don’t you want to know where we’re going?” he asked, his honey eyes twinkling.
“Yeah,” I said sheepishly.
“I found a place to rent, I am supposed to go look at it this morning.”
I jumped up. “Let’s go!”
He smiled and went to the door. I turned to Gran. “May I?”
She made a shooing motion with her hand. “I’ll see you later.”
I raced out the door after Sam.
The place was a dump. Okay, it wasn’t that bad, but it wasn’t great either. It was an efficiency apartment, which meant that it was one room with a bathroom. It had everything he needed: a fridge, microwave and a sink in the small kitchen, which was off to the right of the front door. The landlord seemed to think that the stove and oven was a big deal. I guess that not many tiny apartments had them. The rest of the room was a big open space. The floors were nice, which were a light-colored hardwood. They were scratched up, but a rug would fix that. There was enough room for a TV, a bed and a small table. The bathroom was off to the le
ft of the space. It had old tiles that I guess you could call retro, that were shaped like small hexagons and were in alternating colors of blue and white. There was shower stall that needed a curtain, and there was a pedestal sink and a toilet. It all needed a good cleaning.
“Well, what do you think?” the landlord asked Sam. We were standing in the center of the room, hands clasped and taking in the little space.
“I like it.” He shrugged.
At the same time I said, “It needs painting.”
The landlord must have really wanted to rent the place because he said, “I’ll pay for the paint if you keep it neutral and do the painting yourself.”
Sam was about to agree when I squeezed his hand. “He needs a rug. For the floor,” I added when the guy looked a little blank. He still didn’t say anything so I said, “The floors are a little scratched.” Actually, a lot.
The man sighed. “Okay, you can pick one out that I have downstairs in the shop.”
I nodded. The apartment was above a secondhand store.
“The place rents for three hundred a month and includes all utilities but cable.”
“Two eighty,” I tried.
The landlord narrowed his eyes. “Who’s going to be living here?”
Oops. Maybe I went too far. Sam cleared his throat. “Just me, sir.”
“Aren’t you kind of young to be renting on your own?”
“I’m emancipated,” Sam said and held out the document proving it. The landlord looked it over and handed it back.
“This your girlfriend or your agent, son?”
Sam grinned. His hand returned for mine. “Girlfriend. She can be a little bossy.”
“Hey!” I argued.
“What woman isn’t?” the guy muttered.
I sputtered. But Sam said, “I’ll take it.”
“Good.” Then he looked at Sam. “You into partying?”
“No, sir.”
He pointed a finger at Sam and said, “There will be no wild parties here.”
This made me angry. Sam worked hard, he didn’t need this. I stepped forward. “Listen here, he works three jobs. Three. And he goes to school. He doesn’t have time for parties.”
Sam pulled me back to his side, but I still glared at the landlord.
“Three jobs, huh?”
Sam nodded.
He sighed. “All right, then. Come on downstairs and sign the papers.”
I cleared my throat. “Two eighty?” I asked.
The guy laughed. “Geez, you should be a lawyer. Two eighty it is.”
I grinned. Sam shook his head. When the landlord left the room Sam leaned over and kissed me. “You’re amazing.”
“I wish I could have got you more.” He deserved everything. More than he had.
“I already have everything, sweetheart.” He pulled me close. “So what do you think of the place?” he asked, leading me from the room.
“Ask me again after we paint, and I scrub the place with bleach.”
“You’re going to help me?”
“Of course. When I’m done with this place it will be perfect.”
“I don’t know about that.” He smiled.
“I do. You’ll see.”
The morning I spent with Sam was close to perfect. We had time to be alone, and we found him an apartment (which, yes, needed some work – okay a lot of work), that promised even more time to be alone. I couldn’t quite explain it, but there was something inside that was urging me to find places for us to be ourselves. Almost like we needed a place that could be a sanctuary. I didn’t tell this to Sam because it sounded a little weird, and he was already worried enough. Everywhere we went he was constantly searching, his eyes were never still, and his shoulders were never relaxed. He stayed as close to me as possible, as if he was prepared to jump in front of me at any given moment. It made me nervous, and I was constantly reminded that we were not safe and that someone sick was after me.
He seemed angry when he dropped me off at Gran’s before he went to work. When I asked him about it, he scooped my face up in his huge palms and said fiercely, “I love you.” He made it sound like a sacred vow that no one would dare challenge. I was left staring at his retreating truck through the house window with a ball of ice in my belly and goose bumps on my arms.
I spent some time staring out the windows and jumping at every strange sound I heard until my own paranoia began to annoy me.
I couldn’t live my life like this.
Sam couldn’t live his life like this.
For months and months I’d lived under a hood, beneath my hair and in the shadows. How much longer was I going to hide? My life was here now, and it was waiting. I looked out the window once more, not to be certain that no one was there, but to see the blue sky and the bright, shining sun. I looked out to the orchard where the trees were budding with new life. For too long I’d lived, mostly without knowing, in fear of China.
It ended today.
For me.
For Sam.
School would be out very soon, and I wanted us to have the best summer we could. If we were going to do that, it meant no more looking over our shoulders, no more hiding, and definitely no Bible camp to exorcise my demons. I wasn’t exactly sure how to accomplish my first two goals, so I decided to begin with the easiest: my mother.
She was surprised to see me on the other side of the door, waiting to be allowed in. “You don’t have to ring the bell,” she told me.
“I knew you weren’t expecting me.”
“Come in,” she said, opening the door wide.
I ignored how nervous I felt and walked in. It was exactly the same as always. I don’t know why, but I was surprised. Maybe because I felt so different.
“What brings you by?”
“Uh, I was hoping I could get some of my spring and summer clothes to take to Gran’s.”
Was that disappointment in her eyes? She nodded, “Of course.”
I sighed. “I was hoping we could talk, too.”
She smiled and some of the tension fell from her face. “Would you like to stay for dinner?”
Oh, God. Chicken. I couldn’t say no, I was here to make our relationship better. “Sure. I hadn’t realized it was so close to dinner already.” I guess I would just eat again later with Sam and Gran.
I followed her into the kitchen, where she began going through the cupboards. “Have you had a busy day?”
Before I could think better of it I said, “Yes. I helped Sam find a new apartment.”
I saw her shoulders stiffen, but all she said was, “That’s nice.”
“Mom,” I began, but she cut me off to say, “I don’t have any chicken. Would it be okay if I just make us some soup and sandwiches?”
“That’d be great!” Anything was better than chicken!
I started putting together some grilled cheese sandwiches while she heated the soup. It was a little awkward at first, but then I found myself telling her all about my classes and how I applied for the job at the local ice cream shop. I also told her about Gran’s and my plan for the orchard and pumpkin patch. I even invited her to come help one weekend.
I had devoured half of my sandwich when I noticed how quiet it was and looked up. She was staring at me with the spoon in her hand and an unreadable expression on her face.
I swallowed. “Is there something on my face?” I asked, picking up my napkin.
“You’re happy,” she said, somewhat stunned.
Slowly, I nodded. “I am.”
“Living with Silvia has been good for you.”
I nodded again, looking down at my soup. Living with her was easier. I didn’t feel like I had to hide myself, but I didn’t want to say that out loud. “Things have just seemed a little easier lately, you know?”
She nodded slowly, setting down her spoon. “I don’t know what to say.”
She was hurt. I’d hurt her feelings. I felt bad. “I miss you, though! That’s why I’m here. I hate the way things are between us
. I was hoping we could be close like we used to be.” I reached across the table and touched her hand.
“I would like that too.” She smiled.
Feeling better, I took another bite of grilled cheese. Mom got up and went over to the counter and picked up a large white envelope and brought it back to the table. “This came for you the other day. It’s your itinerary and packing list for Camp Hope.”
“Camp Hope?” I asked, clueless. Then I remembered. “I was hoping we could talk about that.”
“What is there to say?”
That I’m not evil? That I don’t need to go to some cult camp? “I’m doing good; I’m happy. I don’t think I need to go there.”
“We’ve discussed this, Heven,” Mom said, weary. “You’re going.”
I jumped up from the table, sending my chair clattering to the floor. “That’s just it! We haven’t talked about it. You came home one day and declared that you think I’m evil, and that I need to be sent away!”
“You haven’t been making the right choices.”
“Why? Because I went to prom? Because I helped out the cheerleading squad when they needed it? Because I have a boyfriend?”
“You’re not allowed to date that boy. He’s a bad influence.”
“This is because I have a boyfriend?”
“Part of the reason. You’d been late several times for curfew, you pretended to be sick to skip school, and I caught you making out with that boy.”
“He has a name.”
“You’re moody and sullen, you hardly eat.”
“I’ve gained five pounds!” I yelled. “And I was attacked and left disfigured! You can’t expect me to walk around singing and happy after that!”
“It was a sign.” How could she just sit there calmly like that? I was so upset my hands were shaking. I could feel the muscles in my neck bunch with tension, and I was seriously sorry I ate that sandwich.
“A sign?” I said flatly, taking a deep breath through my nose.
“That you would be tested. The devil has glimpsed the bad in you, he seeks to try and turn you from God. It’s a test, Heven. You have to turn your back on sin and choose holiness.”
Was she serious? “You don’t really believe that?” I let the words slip.
Her cool exterior finally slipped. She stood up from her chair and planted both palms on the table, leaning forward. “I do, young lady, and you’d better, too. This is your very soul that’s in trouble. I will not take that lightly.”
Masquerade Page 25
