“Hev, I’m here,” I told her, praying she could hear me. “I’m going to get you out of there.”
The seatbelt made it impossible for me to just pull her out the smashed window, and I couldn’t reach the clasp. It was all too easy to rip the fabric free, and Heven’s body fell forward. I caught her, pulling her awkwardly through the window. I sat amidst the broken glass and gasoline cradling her limp body in my arms.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.
She made no response. The injury to her head looked pretty bad. Aware the car was a ticking bomb, I moved farther away from the wreckage. She stirred in my embrace.
“Sssamm.” Her voice was slurred.
“I’m here. You were in an accident. I’m going to get help.”
“B-bracelet,” she whimpered. I could feel her body tense as if she wanted to get up.
I looked down at her wrist, hoping to see what she wanted. It wasn’t there. It must have fallen off during the crash. Damn that stupid clasp.
“I’ll get you another.”
“N-no.” Her body spasmed and she coughed.
“Shhh. I’ll get it, and then we’re getting you to a hospital.”
Cautiously I laid her down on the ground and went to the car. The bracelet was there, caught between some wreckage on the ground. I palmed it and ran back to her side.
Her eyes weren’t open, and she was so pale and lifeless looking. I felt tears gather in my eyes.
“No!” I cried, hoarse. Gently, so gently, I grabbed her. “Heven. Can you hear me? Open your eyes.”
She gave no response as I slid the bracelet in the pocket of her shorts. “I found your bracelet, honey. It’s in your pocket.” I thought the news of her treasure would make her open her eyes. It didn’t. “Please, baby. Wake up.”
Just when I was about to break down, her eyes fluttered and she stared, without really seeing.
“Heven, thank God.” I sucked in a deep breath, trying to ease the pain in my chest. Please don’t die.
“Sam,” she whispered then began coughed, and blood leaked from between her lips.
I hugged her a little bit tighter, and I stared at the trail of blood slowly running down her face. I couldn’t face this. I couldn’t sit here and watch the only thing I loved die.
“Hang on, baby. We’re going to the hospital right now.”
“Too late,” she rasped.
“No.” I grabbed at her hand. She was ice cold. “You’re going to be okay, we’ll get through this.”
“I love you, Sam.”
Words I’d longed to hear. They pierced me to my very soul. I had been desperate to hear those words. But not like this. Never like this. She coughed some more, then gurgled. Blood filled her mouth, choking her. I turned her head to the side so that the blood could come out and she could breathe. It didn’t help.
“I love you,” I groaned, clutching her tight. A sob built up in my throat and ripped from my throat.
Her body jerked and she stared up at me. I cut off my emotion and focused on her, brushing her hair away from her face. “Easy, honey. It’s okay.”
Then she was still.
It took me a moment to understand, to realize that her eyes would never open again.
Heven was dead. She died in my arms.
Had she even heard me tell her I loved her?
A tear slid from my eye and trailed down my face. Heven was dead, and it was my fault. I would never see her smile again, never hear her laugh.
“No!” I yelled and shook her. Her head lolled around unnaturally. A sob escaped me, and I clutched her harder against my chest. The scent of death filled my nostrils. It made me sick. I turned my head to the side and retched.
Just then the car went up in flames. A deafening explosion at my back. I hunched around her broken body, trying to protect her from the heat and flying debris.
A loud clap sounded above and the sky opened up, rain pounding down around us. I let it slap against my back, each icy drop feeling like a knife.
“Heven, please,” I moaned, rocking her back and forth. “Please don’t leave me here.”
I sat there for long moments, rocking her, buffering the rain and watching the car burn, the rain doing nothing to extinguish the flames. I looked back down at her – the sight of her in my arms caused grief so deep that I knew I would never be the same again. I wanted to die right along with her.
The blood on her face was rinsing away with the heavy rain. Even in death, she was so beautiful, even her scars glistened beautifully in the downpour.
I did this to her.
If I had just stayed away from her, if only I hadn’t let myself fall in love with her that day, China would never have become obsessed. Maybe she was right after all…maybe hellhounds weren’t capable of love…maybe my kind of love was twisted and unclean just like my soul. How could I live the rest of my days knowing that because of me this beautiful, innocent girl was dead? How could I wake up in the mornings and not feel her body against mine, not hear the lazy, peaceful beating of her heart?
Before I kill China, I will make her suffer. Even a slow painful death is too good for her.
The thought snapped my head up, and I peered through the night to where I left her laying. I would just go finish her right now. The things I would do to her…
China was gone.
I should have known that she would drag her beaten, broken body away when she had the chance. I looked back down at Heven. Her lips were blue. Filled with so much grief and sorrow I did the one thing that I hadn’t done since I became a hellhound. The one thing I thought I might never do again. I prayed. I begged God to listen, not for me but for her. I prayed that she was at peace.
I prayed that loving me didn’t give her a one-way ticket to Hell.
Something hot and heavy hit my back, something from the fiery wreckage, but I paid it no attention, my concern wasn’t for me but for her. I wondered what I was going to do. Should I take her to the hospital? To her mother? I snorted at the thought. Her mother would say she got what she deserved because she was evil. I looked down. Heven wasn’t evil. She was the opposite. I brushed the blond hair away from her face. She was an angel, my angel.
“How will I live without you?” I whispered. Another tear escaped me; it dripped off my chin and onto her cheek. I brushed it away with my thumb. I paused. Something wasn’t right…
There was an intense heat at my back, almost uncomfortable. I figured that it was from the blazing fire, but now I realized that I no longer heard the angry flames. It was quiet, too quiet.
And I sensed that I was no longer alone.
I clutched Heven tightly against me and sprung up and around. I wasn’t prepared for what I saw.
There was a woman, a beautiful woman, standing in front of the wreckage, which was no longer on fire. She was dressed in an elaborate white robe, and I swear the very air around her shimmered. She looked so out of place, here, in this place of destruction and death.
“Who are you?” I asked, instinctively curling around Heven’s body.
The woman smiled. Peace wrapped around me. “My name is Airis. I am here for the girl.”
“You can’t have her!” I all but snarled, half-turning away.
“I am here for you, too.”
“What do you mean?” I asked suspicious, turning back.
“Will you come with me?” Her voice was as kind as her face. She made no move to come at us, nor did she try and lure me closer.
“Who are you?”
“Someone you can trust.”
“Not likely.”
“I can help her, but you must come with me.”
“You can’t help her. She’s dead.”
“Is she?”
“Yes,” I said, hoarse. I smelled the death on her skin; I’d felt the life leave her body.
“It is not her path.”
“Why are you doing this?” My head was swimming. I didn’t understand what she was saying, and she talked like there was hope.
Hope that Heven might live. Why would she be torturing me this way?
“Will you come?”
“She stays with me?” Why was I considering this? Because if there was even the slightest chance for Heven to live, I would do whatever it took.
“Of course.” Airis came forward and my heart picked up its pace.
“Stay back.”
“I won’t hurt you.”
It wasn’t me that I cared about. Airis reached out a hand and placed it on my shoulder, causing warmth to spread throughout my body. The air around the three of us began to shimmer.
“What…?”
Before I could say anything else everything went white.
Airis brought us to a place – a void – where there was nothing. No color, no life, not even any noise except for the sound of two people’s breathing. I wasn’t scared of this place, but I wasn’t at complete peace here either. It was a totally neutral world – a place where you waited. Waited for something else to come along. My eyes watered as they tried to adjust from the darkness I had just left to this never ending sea of bright white.
“Would you give up your life for hers?” Airis asked, breaking into my thoughts.
“Yes.”
“Just like that?” She seemed surprised that I didn’t need to think about it. I would do anything for Heven, including dying so she could live.
“Yes.”
“All right then.” She inclined her head and raised her palms above her. Light seemed to gather in her palms, but I couldn’t be sure because everything here was so bright. I watched as the light grew brighter and brighter, then Airis made a motion like she would fling the light right at me.
“Wait!”
Airis paused, lowering her hands. “Have you changed your mind?”
I recoiled from the idea. “No.” I waited a moment for some of my disgust to dissolve then said, “Can I have a moment with her?”
Airis inclined her head, “Of course.”
For the first time since Airis brought us to this place, I looked down. Even in death she was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. Holding her tightly I looked around for somewhere to lay her. Almost as if I conjured it, a bed swathed in very pale gold appeared before me. I went to it, gently laid her on the satin and kneeled before her. I always knew that I would leave her eventually; what was between us couldn’t last. The knowledge didn’t make saying goodbye any easier.
I cupped her cheek, turning her face to the side to see her clearly. “I love you,” I whispered, brushing the pad of my thumb across her bottom lip. It was like blue ice. “I did this to you…but I’m going to make it right.” I leaned in and kissed her, the last time I would ever do so.
“Who’s going to protect her when I am dead?”
“There is a plan in place for her safety,” Airis responded.
“Goodbye,” I whispered before I took one last look before making myself straighten and walk away from her. It was the hardest thing I’d ever done. I looked up at Airis who stood in the same place as before with the same ball of light in her palms. “I’m ready.”
I didn’t lower my head or shield my eyes from death. I stood tall and watched the ball of light spiral toward me. Dying is easy when you do it for someone you love more than yourself. The light got closer, and I felt its heat. It burned fiercely when it slammed into my skin, but I didn’t feel the pain long. That was the one good thing about death: no pain.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Heven
My eyes jerked open, and I gasped for air so forcefully I sat up. Where was I? What was happening? I focused on my surroundings, but couldn’t really settle on anything to tell me where I was. Everything was very bright and quiet. “Sam?”
“You are safe here.”
I spun around to see who spoke. It was a beautiful woman dressed all in white.
“Where’s Sam?”
She didn’t answer but her eyes drifted to something lying on the floor.
“Sam!” I surged across the room to where he lay, and I noticed right away that his bare chest did not rise and fall with breath. My stomach clenched. He wasn’t moving, and he didn’t respond to my cries. I shook him, slapped him, even pulled his hair but he wouldn’t wake up.
“Help me!” I cried to the woman who stood and watched me flail about to help him.
“You cannot help him, he has died.”
He wasn’t dead. He couldn’t be. He wouldn’t leave me. I screamed his name once more, the shrill sound sure to wake him. It didn’t. “No,” I sobbed and lowered my head to his chest. I waited and waited for the sound of his heartbeat. It never came.
Sam was dead.
“What did you do to him!” I screamed, standing up to face the woman.
“He exchanged his life for yours.”
“No!” I shook my head. It was impossible! I wasn’t dead. I hadn’t died! I looked around for some sort of reality. There was nothing. There was no color except for the three of us and a bed draped in pale gold satin. How did we get here?
“I brought you here,” the woman spoke. “You were in a car accident.”
Realization dawned. I remembered China chasing me, the car running off the road. I was hurt and wanted Sam…I gasped. Had I died?
The woman nodded gently. “He loved you.”
Loved. Past tense. “He died for me?” I whispered.
“He wanted you to live.”
“I don’t want to live without him.”
“Why is that?”
I dropped to my knees before him. A lock of hair had fallen onto his forehead, and I brushed it aside. Tears slid down my cheeks and dropped onto his. “Because I love him.” My words were broken.
If the woman made a response I didn’t hear it. I curled up next to him and put my head on his chest. I felt the loss of him so deeply that I was sure I would die from it. I wished I could – then we could be together again. Suddenly I felt very warm so I looked up. An intensely bright light surrounded us. I reached up, put a hand over his face to shield him and ducked my face into his neck. It was so hot…
Then there was nothing.
A cool breeze brushed over my skin, cooling and soothing me. My entire body ached, and I moaned.
“Heven?”
His voice was so sweet. I’d thought I would never hear it again. I must be dreaming. Not wanting to wake I burrowed further into sleep and willed him to come to me.
“Heven?”
Sam.
“Why isn’t she waking up?” His voice was anxious, not as it should be in a dream. “What’s wrong with her?”
“She’s dreaming,” the woman answered.
Sam let out a frustrated sound. I felt hands in my hair and on my face. “Wake up, Heven. Please.”
I opened my eyes. Sam’s face was so close I actually flinched. He didn’t move but his eyes flared gold and stared into mine.
“You’re alive?” I asked, hope welling up inside me. I prayed that my mind wasn’t playing a cruel trick on me.
“Either that or we’re both dead.”
A small smile splayed across his lips, and I squealed coming up off the ground so fast he fell backward with me landing on top of him. “You’re alive!” The relief was so great that I laughed.
He laughed too and wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me until I couldn’t breathe. “You have no idea what I went through…you died in my arms. Oh God, Heven. You’re alive. Oh God, you’re alive.”
His hold on me was iron clad but there was a fine tremor in his muscles. I could imagine what he went through because seeing him lying motionless and cold on the floor was a sight I never wanted to see again. Those few moments had been the worst of my life. “I couldn’t stand to see you that way…so cold…so still. I wanted to die alongside of you.” Tears leaked out of my eyes to stream down my cheeks.
He buried his face in my neck and inhaled, his hold iron clad. I left him that way until my lungs began to burn, and I truly had to have oxygen. I wiggled, and he eased his
hold while I gulped for air. “Sorry,” he murmured, pulling back and taking my face between his palms. “Don’t ever die again.”
“You either,” I whispered, more tears falling. He wiped them away with his thumbs and paused.
“Are you okay?” he asked, tilting my face and studying me. Something passed behind his eyes, and it looked like shocked disbelief. It was the same way I was feeling.
“I’m okay,” I whispered.
“Where are you hurt?” He ran his hands along my arms and shoulders, coming back to brush the hair away from my face and stare at me again. “Your head…so much blood…” his voice caught and his eyes glazed over in panic.
“Sam.” I caught his hands and pressed a kiss to the inside of his palm. “I’m not hurt. Not anymore.”
He groaned and pulled me into him again. I fit against him so perfectly and he felt so right that I knew I never would have been able to live without him. I loved him so much that I could feel the connection between us, pulling me closer. God, I love you. The words pounded through my head over and over almost like a mantra. I couldn’t stop thinking and feeling them.
Sam held me tighter still, his face buried in my hair. I love you…
My head snapped up at the same time his did and we looked at each other, both our eyes widening in surprise. “Did you say that out loud?” I whispered.
“No. Did you?”
I shook my head.
“I heard you.”
“I heard you, too.”
His eyes held mine and he stared at me hard. I love you, Heven. His lips did not move yet I heard the words as if he’d spoken them. He was watching me for a reaction, something to let him know what he suspected.
I love you, Sam.
Masquerade Page 27
