“Pizza it is.”
Sam was loading the last box into the bed of his truck when I realized I left one last box up in the kitchen. I ran toward the stairs calling out what I forgot.
“I’ll get it,” Sam called after me.
“It’ll take two seconds,” I yelled back. I ran into the kitchen and grabbed the box. When I spun around I was met with a pair of curious dark eyes. I screamed and the box fell to the floor.
“Who are you?” I stammered, stepping back.
The boy (he was most definitely younger than me) seemed amused by my fear. He took a step toward me. Sam thundered through the front door. “I heard you scream.”
The boy turned around, and Sam’s mouth fell open.
“Long time no see,” the boy said.
“Logan.” Sam murmured.
“In the flesh.”
Sam grinned and rushed forward, scooping the boy up in a bear hug. He came to my side, grinning, when he put the boy down. “Heven, this is Logan.”
“Logan,” I said, giving him a little wave. I felt a little recognition at his face but wasn’t fast enough to put two and two together. I leaned in close to Sam to whisper, “Who is Logan?”
Sam laughed. “My brother.”
Chapter Thirty
Heven
“Your brother!” I rushed forward to greet him, but something stopped me from throwing my arms around him in a big hug. Instead I threw out my hand. “Hi! I’m Heven.”
Logan returned my handshake with a shy smile.
“So you are Sam’s younger brother. I have heard a lot about you.”
“Man! You have gotten so big! You’re going to be as tall as me soon!” Sam said, smiling. “What are you, like, thirteen now?”
“Fourteen and a half,” Logan corrected.
I saw pain flash through Sam’s eyes, but he recovered and smiled. “Yeah, fourteen and a half.”
“I went to that place Mom and Dad rented for you…” Logan said. Then, more quietly he said, “I’ve been looking for you for a while.”
“Yeah?” Sam asked, concern masking his features. “Something wrong? Mom?”
I noticed he didn’t ask about his dad.
“Mom’s good. She really misses you.”
Sam didn’t react to that. Then I realized something. Something I couldn’t believe; I hadn’t noticed right away…
“So why are you looking for me?” Sam asked.
“Uh…” Logan slid a glance at me then turned back to his brother.
He doesn’t have an aura, Sam.
Sam jerked like he’d been shot. “You – you’re not…”
Logan nodded. “I’m like you now.”
“No,” Sam gasped.
“Can’t you tell?” Logan asked.
Sam’s muscles bunched beneath his shirt. I wanted to go to him, but I knew he wouldn’t want that right now. He gave a curt nod to his brother then said, “It wasn’t supposed to be both of us.”
“It is.”
“That’s not possible,” Sam said.
“Guess we have more screwed up genes than we thought.”
“I’m sorry,” Sam said, truly meaning his words.
I took a chance and went to Sam’s side, reaching my hand toward his. He took it, grasping hard.
“Who’s she?” Logan asked, looking at me.
“Heven is my girlfriend.”
Logan was surprised by this. His eyes widened and his lips parted. “Does she…?”
“She knows,” Sam nodded.
Logan looked at me. His eyes were darker than Sam’s, so was his hair. He was also shorter and thinner, but I had a feeling he would be filling out soon.
“How long have you been looking for me?” Sam asked him.
“About six months.”
Sam sucked in a breath. “I should’ve called you…”
Logan hurried to say, “Dad wouldn’t have allowed that.”
Sam stood there, in shock and regret.
“We were just about to go get some pizza. Want to come? You guys can catch up.”
“I’m starving,” Logan said.
Sam chuckled. It was a good sound and eased some of the tension that was inside me. “Let’s go.”
I bent to pick up the box, trying to settle what was left of my nerves. I didn’t want Sam to pick up on them. At all. Sam made a sound and hauled the box out of my hands. I smiled.
He kissed my nose.
“Gross,” Logan complained.
Sam laughed.
For some reason I didn’t really feel like laughing.
Sam
My baby brother was like me. The thought made me sick. I accept what I am, I accept the hellhound in me…I even kind of like the stuff I can do. But would I choose this? I don’t think so. And I certainly would never want this life for Logan.
They cast him out. My parents did to him what they did to me. I would expect that of my rigid, cold father…but not my mother. I told myself that the only reason she agreed to my leaving was because she was afraid for her youngest son. I told myself that if I had been an only child, she would have gone against my father and fought for me to stay.
Now I knew I was wrong.
She hadn’t loved me at all.
She cast Logan out just like me, both her sons. How could anyone be so cruel?
I glanced over at him, sitting on a bunch of hay with his one bag of possessions. He had grown bigger in the past two years. He was taller, leaner and looked more like a man than a boy. How much I had missed.
A vivid memory, swift and strong, flashed into my head. We were outside in the yard having a sword fight with big sticks and laughing. He seemed so much smaller then, much more innocent. It made me feel sick to know that most of his innocence was now gone.
“So, what happened, Logan?” I asked, sitting down in the barn loft across from him. Below, the horses shifted restlessly.
He shrugged and sat down the flashlight he had been flicking on and off. “Pretty much what happened with you.”
He flicked his dark brown eyes up to me but then returned them to the floor, shuffling his feet in the hay. “I just changed one day, Mom freaked out and Dad got all pissed. He said it made him mad that both his sons would have such weak genes.”
“There’s no way that the court would have emancipated you at the age of fourteen.”
“They didn’t.” He said, his voice low. “I ran away.”
“You did what?” I could help the way my voice raised in shock. “Why would you do that, Logan? If they were going to let you stay…”
Logan didn’t look up at me when he spoke. “Mom probably would have let me stay; I heard her and dad fighting all the time. She was never the same after you left…she cried all the time.”
His words left a hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach. Maybe I had been wrong, maybe Mom did love me…
“Anyway, I couldn’t stand the way they fought all the time, the way dad tried to ignore me. So I left. I figured they wouldn’t miss me anyway.”
“Logan, you have to call them. They are probably worried – they’ve probably been looking for you.”
“They aren’t looking for me. Do you really think dad would call the cops and admit that a son of his ran away? Sure, Mom’s upset, but she won’t go against Dad.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yeah, I do.” Finally he looked up. His face showed the misery he had been trying to hide. “I followed her one day. She went to the school and told them that I was visiting grandma and grandpa for the rest of the year. They don’t care, Sam. I thought you would understand.”
I sighed. “I do understand.”
“I’m not going back there, you can’t make me.” He said, his chin jutting out.
“I’m not going to make you. You can stay here with me.” I wondered how I was going to protect Heven from whatever she needed protected from and take care of my little brother. But he was my family, family that I thought I would never see again. He neede
d me. He probably was confused and knew next to nothing about being a hellhound. This was my chance to help him and get some of the family back I thought I lost.
“You’re living in a barn?” Logan asked.
I laughed. “No, we can move into my new apartment tomorrow. I…uh…I stay here with Heven every night…in her room.”
Logan made a face. “How long have you had a girlfriend?”
“For a while now. She’s really great, Logan. You’re going to like her too.”
“I guess she is pretty hot.” Logan said with a smile.
I widened my eyes in mock horror. “Thinking of making a play for my girl?” I said, then grabbed up a handful of hay and tossed it at him. “Better watch out, little bro.”
“Whatever.” He laughed, dodging the flying hay.
“Have you been alone the last six months?” I asked, dreading the answer wondering how he survived this long.
“Yeah. I went to the apartment that dad rented you when you first left…but you weren’t there. I’ve been looking for you ever since.”
I ran a hand through my hair thinking how stupid I had been for not trying to keep in touch with him. I could have found a way to see him, to at least get word to him about where I was. I never imagined, not in a million years that he would end up like me. “I’m sorry; I should have kept in touch.”
“I don’t blame you. I’m just glad I found you.” He rubbed at his eyes with his palms, and I prayed he didn’t start crying.
I had let him down.
From here on out I told myself I would be here for him.
“It was pretty tough, huh? To be alone?”
He shrugged and dropped his hands away from his face. I was relieved to see that he wasn’t crying. “It wasn’t that bad. I had some money…I took it from dad before I left.” He glanced at me, looking a little embarrassed.
I nodded. “You needed it more than he did.”
Logan seemed to relax at my understanding and then continued talking. “I moved around a lot, trying to find you. Then this one night in Portland…I ran into this woman who said she knew you.”
Horror filled me. “What was her name?”
“China. She said she was like us and that she knew where you lived.”
“Did she hurt you?” I asked, leaning toward him, grabbing his arm.
“What? No. Why would she? She seemed nice. She gave me your address, told me where I could find you.”
I relaxed and released his arm. “She wasn’t nice Logan.”
“So you do know her?”
“I did. She’s not around anymore.” I hesitated to elaborate on the fact that I was the one who killed her. I was supposed to be making him feel safe, not scared.
“Where’d she go?”
“I’m not sure,” I lied, feeling horrible for doing it. “Out of town.”
“Oh.” He seemed a little let down.
I moved over to sit next to him. “We don’t need her around anyway, bud. I’ll teach you everything you wanted to know and you’ll be fine.”
“I don’t want to know anything!” he cried, catching me off guard. Down below Jasper whinnied his discomfort.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t want to be like this! I don’t care about it. I just want to forget that part of me.”
“You can’t just forget it, Logan. You have to learn to accept it, you don’t have to like it, but you do have to accept it and learn how to control it if you don’t want it to take you over.”
“I can control it just fine.” He said, stubborn.
“Okay, cool. We don’t have to talk about that right now.” I was scared of running him off. Clearly my brother wasn’t as accepting of himself as I was. I guess I could understand that. He’d run away from home because our parents wouldn’t accept him, and he has been alone on the streets for six months, searching for me. I thought that right now my time would be better spent trying to rebuild our relationship before I tried to make him accept that he was a hellhound.
Logan stared at the floor, mutinous and silent. I sighed. I had no idea what to do or say. I wondered what Heven was doing. I imagined her in room brushing out her long, silky hair and suddenly I wanted to be there. I wanted to run my fingers through the softness of that hair and listen to the sound of her heart beating. I glanced at the screen of my cell. It was late. She was probably asleep by now.
I reached into the hay and fished around, coming out with a bag. My stash from when I was sleeping up here to be closer to Heven. “Here, look what I got.”
Logan took the bag I was holding out. It was filled with power bars and some candy and a couple of comic books. “Have you read this one yet?” I reached in the bag to grab the book and held out the latest X-Men comic.
“No! Awesome!” A grin split his face as he ripped from my fingers. “This is so cool.” He put the comic in his lap and reached in to grab a couple of candy bars and a bag of M&M’s.
I smiled. Just like that he had transformed from a sullen kid to a happy one. Maybe this wouldn’t be so hard after all. I sat there with him for a while and we joked and laughed about the comic. It felt good to have a brother again.
After a while he fell asleep in a candy induced coma with the comic clutched in his hands. I pulled out a blanket and covered him. I went to the ladder, planning to go see Heven.
When I turned to go down Logan’s sleepy voice stopped me. “Hey, Sam.”
I looked over my shoulder. “I was just going to go see Heven. Want me to stay?” It would be the first night I spent away from her in months, but for my brother, it would be worth it. “No, go ahead. But…thanks.”
I smiled. “You sure?”
“Go away, I’m sleeping.” Logan mumbled and rolled taking the blanket with him.
I laughed, he always was grumpy when he was tired. “I’ll be back in a while, ‘kay?”
He murmured something as I went down the ladder and he was snoring before I left the barn.
Heven
It was very late by the time Sam crawled through my open bedroom window. That all too familiar feeling of safety enveloped me.
You’re awake. He was surprised when he slid beneath the sheets and rolled to face me.
I’ve gotten used to you being here. It’s hard to sleep without you.
He smiled and caressed the side of my cheek with the tips of his fingers. I closed my eyes. Every time he touched me I felt a long sigh throughout my entire body. I snuggled closer and rested my cheek against his shoulder, pressing a kiss to the inside of his neck.
I missed you.
Is Logan okay?
Yeah. Thanks for letting him stay here. I don’t know what I would have done with him tonight.
Sam was sort of in limbo tonight because he’d already given back the keys to his old place and wouldn’t get the key to his new place until tomorrow. It wasn’t a problem when it was just him, because he stayed here every night anyway.
Maybe you should have kept the old place.
Nah. We’ll make it work with the new one. There just won’t be as much space.
Or privacy. I couldn’t help but feel a little upset about that. It made me feel selfish. I should be thrilled that Sam’s brother was here; thrilled that he was getting a chance to have some of his family in his life. I couldn’t quite get there. I wished Logan had an aura. I don’t know why, but I didn’t completely trust him. I couldn’t tell that to Sam, and I needed to keep my feelings about it under control. Our Mindbond made things tricky. It wasn’t always easy to keep our strong feelings from bleeding to the other. Logan was a kid and most likely was confused and hurt by what was happening with his body. Sam was his only link to anything stable. For Sam I would put my own fears aside and try to be there for Logan. Maybe he and I could be close.
Is everything okay? Sam asked, rubbing slow circles across my back. I worried for a moment that maybe I wasn’t doing the best job I could at hiding my feelings. Then he said, Today has been a lot to deal with.
He meant Airis and the treasure.
It’s hard to comprehend that we have possession of something so majorly important.
Yeah, I know. Where is it?
Under my pillow.
Maybe you should let me hold on to it.
I knew that it would be perfectly safe with Sam, but I wanted it close to me. I felt like it belonged to me. I kind of want to hold onto it.
I think that you having it puts you in danger.
You worry too much, I grumped. If having it put me in danger, then it would put him in danger as well. Either way, we were both in danger, so I decided I was keeping it. Sam? Something Airis said is bothering me.
Just one thing? He snorted softly.
I smiled. I guess that makes me crazy.
I felt his hands in my hair and his lips on my forehead. It makes you naïve.
She said that seeing auras was not my only gift.
Swiftly he pulled out from beneath me and looked down through the darkness. Are you feeling okay? Are you getting those tremors again?
I’m fine. It makes me nervous though. What else is going to happen?
He stared at me for several minutes without saying anything. Then, with a deep sigh he returned to the mattress, lifting me gently and pressing my head back into his shoulder. Whatever happens…I’ll be here.
My defender. I loved him for wanting to keep me safe, but it worried me. If Sam was busy protecting me, then who would protect him?
“I know what I am doing this summer,” Kimber declared, waving a flyer over our lunch table.
It was finally the last day of school. The halls and lunchroom were buzzing with nothing but plans for the summer.
“Well, doesn’t anyone want to know?” Kimber asked, dropping into a chair next to Cole.
“Let me see,” Cole said, around a mouthful of burger. He grabbed the flyer and looked it over. “I heard about this trip,” he said, turning the flyer around so Sam and I could see.
Sam pulled the flyer closer and kicked me beneath the table. I abandoned my Doritos and looked down. I sucked in a breath and got a hunk of chip caught in my throat. It was sharp and I felt it cut into the sensitive skin. I coughed and grabbed up Sam’s water to take a drink. The chip went down, but it scraped the whole way.
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