by Tabatha Kiss
* * *
My phone vibrates on the table by the door but there’s no way in hell I’m getting out of this bed to answer it.
The sun has barely risen over Manhattan. The sky outside is still a dark blue but it’s slowly brightening every minute. Saturday morning in New York City. It’s probably still bustling down there from last night but this hotel room could not be calmer.
I feel Clive stir beside me. His arms stretch over his head but his legs stay entwined with mine. I take the opportunity to slink a little closer, trapping myself between his body and his arm before he manages to lower it again. It works and he hugs me tighter without even opening his eyes.
“Good morning,” he says.
I chuckle. “Understatement.”
He kisses my head and inhales deep. “What time is it?”
“I have no idea nor do I care.”
He laughs. “You know, I have to work today.”
I raise my head. “Noooo—”
“Yes.”
“Just quit.”
“I planned on putting in my two weeks as soon as I got there.”
I groan and drop my head to his chest again. “Fine, be a responsible and model employee,” I quip. “When is your shift?”
“Noon. So, we might want to get moving now so we can fly back in time.”
“But…” I cling to his body, “I don’t wanna.”
He runs a hand along my arm. “Just a few more minutes.”
“Okay…”
I settle in, resting my hand on his abs. His skin spurs heat through my fingertips and I caress him south toward his—
Clive grabs my wrist. “Nothing about what you’re doing right now means a few more minutes…”
I feign offense. “I wasn’t doing anything!”
“You were doing exactly what it looked like you were doing.”
“Well…” I sigh, “I guess you’ll have to punish me, then…”
He shoots up and forces me onto my back. “You, Ms. Payne, are being a very, very bad—”
The phone vibrates again.
I scoff. “Someone is really desperate to reach me today…” Clive pushes off me and hops off the bed. “Wait! I must be punished!”
“Punishment later,” he says, heading toward the bathroom. “Now, clothes and breakfast and flights home.”
I throw on a pout. “Fine.”
Clive smiles and twists back in my direction. I set my feet on the floor and he tilts my face upward to kiss me.
“Good morning,” he says again.
“Good morning,” I say, smiling back.
He turns away and I watch that glorious ass saunter away into the bathroom.
I look at my phone and my smile becomes a sneer. I hoist myself up, throw on a bathrobe, and walk toward it, so not ready to embrace the real world just yet.
Uh-oh. Nine missed calls.
I call back the unrecognized number.
“Chicago Police Department.”
I blink. “Hi, this is Nora Payne. I’m sorry you’ve been trying to contact me but I’ve been traveling.”
“Yes, Ms. Payne. Let me transfer you to Robberies and Homicides.”
The line cuts off.
“Wha…” I wince. “But which one?”
Clive returns with a towel wrapped around his waist. He stops cold the moment he looks at me. “Whoa, what’s going on?” he asks. “You okay?”
“I’m being transferred to Robberies and Homicides.”
His brow rises. “… which one?”
“I don’t know! They should be more specific, right?”
“Yeah, there’s a huge difference there…”
“Ms. Payne?” a man says in my ear.
“Yes, I’m Nora Payne.” I hold my breath. “What’s going on?”
“I’m Detective Zimmer. I’m sorry to bother you so early but there’s been a break-in at your condo tonight.”
“Was anyone hurt?”
“No, ma’am.”
I exhale at Clive. “So, just the robbery part, then…”
He nods and lingers by my ear.
“Well, what did they take?” I ask. “Is there damage? How bad are we talking here?”
“No damage other than the front door, which your super is taking care of right now. Nothing was stolen, either. A neighbor heard the door breaking and called the police, so the suspect was apprehended on-site.”
“Oh.” I sigh with relief. “That’s… lucky.”
Clive lays a hand on my shoulder and I look up at him, finding a little more comfort in his eyes.
“Do you know a man named Alex Preston, Ms. Payne?” Zimmer asks.
“Alex Preston?” I repeat.
Clive flinches.
“No,” I say. “I don’t know anybody by that name…”
His hand falls from my shoulder as he takes a step back.
“He walked right to the safe by your bed,” Zimmer says. “Seems like something only a friend or acquaintance would know about. Can you think of anyone who might know of its location in your home? Recent house guests or repairmen?”
“No, not even my closest friends know…”
I study Clive’s downturn eyes. He won’t even look at me.
Why won’t he look at me?
“Ms. Payne, would you stop by the station at your earliest convenience?” Zimmer asks. “I assume you’d like to press charges.”
Clive picks his shirt up off the floor. His movements are slow and stiff, almost sickly, as he slides it on.
“Yes,” I answer. “Of course. Thank you.”
I hang up and lower the phone to my side.
He still won’t look at me. He just puts on his clothes one piece at a time. He tosses his towel over the chair. He doesn’t say a word.
I pinch my robe closed. “Clive, who is Alex Preston?” I ask.
Thirty-Four
Clive
“Nora, I’m sorry.”
She takes a short step back and adjusts her robe, tightening it around her like armor to protect herself. From me.
“Sorry about what?” she asks.
“I didn’t think he’d…”
I pause, wanting nothing more than to hold her but she’d never let me get close. Not right now. Not with that rage boiling beneath her eyelashes.
“Do you know this guy?” she asks.
I could lie. I could say Alex was just some co-worker of mine who got jealous over her. I could say he was a disgruntled customer banned from Red Brick looking for revenge of some sort. Some insane lunatic. But why bother protecting a man who lied to me, too? Why dig myself in deeper when I could just come clean and hope she believes me?
“Alex and I were in the Army together,” I say. “He’s the man who shot up my leg and ruined my career.”
Nora squints in confusion. “So… what does he want with me?”
“A few months back, I got a job working janitorial and maintenance at the gym. Little did I know, Alex worked there, too. We got to talking and catching up since Iraq and he found out about my situation. He wanted to help. He blamed himself and told me he’d make it up to me. Some weeks later, he tells me about this data entry job. He’d apply for it himself but he didn’t qualify with his criminal record, but I did.”
“Black Book?” she asks.
I nod. “I got the job. I was really happy about it. Thought it would lead to something better down the line. But when I told Alex, he told me the real reason why he wanted the job. Apparently, he had a buyer. Someone with deep pockets in the market for a lot of user-generated personal information. He asked… he asked me to get it for him and we’d split the money fifty-fifty.”
Nora looks down, her eyes heavy with thought. “You… you were going to steal from me?”
“But I couldn’t go through with it.” I step forward. “Nora—”
“Don’t come near me.”
I stop. “Please, hear me out. Okay?”
“Clive, a data breach of that level would have dest
royed me. I would have lost everything.”
“I know.”
“So, what? You just didn’t care?”
“I didn’t know you,” I say.
“Okay, so thievery is excusable when you don’t actually know the person?”
I exhale. “I was in a bad place, Nora. I wasn’t thinking straight. You know. You weren’t born into wealth, either. Imagine someone dangling a million dollars in front of you when you weren’t even sure where your next meal would come from.”
“So, when I walked in on you in my office, that’s what you were really doing?” she asks. “Trying to rip off my client list?”
“Yes.” My voice breaks. “But I couldn’t get it because you… you take it home with you.”
“Oh, my god.” She touches her stomach and recoils in disgust.
“Nora, I—”
“You violated me.”
A tear rolls down her cheek, stabbing me in the heart.
“No,” I whisper. “No, my feelings for you are real, Nora.”
“Bullshit.”
“It’s true. I got close to you at first to try and find that list, but I backed out of it when I fell for you. That’s the truth.” I touch my chest. “This is real. Last night was real.”
She shakes her head and looks at the floor as more tears fall. “You’re a liar,” she says. “A filthy, lying hypocrite. You made me feel awful about trying to help you and give you a better life, when all this time—”
“I know. And I’m sorry.”
“I trusted you. I gave you every part of me.”
She sobs into her hands, barely holding together.
“I had the chance, Nora,” I say, grasping at anything I can. “I could have gone through with it but I didn’t. I got to know you and trust you. And love you. I saw a life with you. I should have told you what was going on. I’ll own up to that.”
She looks up. “Were you ever going to tell me?”
“Honestly, I hoped I would never have to,” I say. “I hoped Alex would move on. I really never thought he’d—”
Nora turns away and walks to the other end of the room to pick up her clothes. She moves quickly, keeping her back to me while she steps into her dress and drops her robe.
I shift towards her. “Nora?”
“Your services will no longer be needed at Little Black Book.”
She takes a wide step around me and gathers her shoes.
My chest tightens. “Nora, don’t do this.”
“Any due wages will be deposited into your account within the next twenty-four hours.”
Her voice sounds so cold and repressed, like she’s seconds away from screaming.
I step in front of her as she heads for the door.
“Nora, please.”
“Do not attempt to re-enter the building or you will be escorted out by security. Any personal belongings left behind will be mailed to your home address, or… dumped on the sidewalk, in your case.”
“Stay here with me just a little bit longer and we’ll talk this out.”
“Clive…” She looks up at me, her face wet and utterly broken. “Stop.”
It crushes me. One word from her mouth ends it in an instant.
Nora grabs her purse from the shelf and throws the door open, leaving me behind to fend for my own bleeding heart.
No. No, I can’t let her go like this.
I rush out into the hallway as she steps onto the elevator.
“Nora!”
She looks up but she doesn’t move other than to wipe the tears from her cheeks.
I pick up my pace, breaking into a sprint to try and beat the doors before they close. If I can get to her, I can beg. I can drop to my knees and plead for forgiveness.
The doors close on me.
“Shit.”
I tap the call button, hoping to stop the car from falling but the mechanical whirl starts up and the elevator starts downward.
I hit the stairwell and charge down the twenty flights to the ground floor. I’m tired and sick and out of breath but I can’t let her leave. I can’t let Nora Payne walk away from me for good.
I reach the lobby and bolt toward the elevator. It dings in front of me and the doors open.
“Nora—”
It’s empty.
My eyes fall to the floor and my pounding heart breaks all over again.
The black leather choker with the small, white pearl.
I step on and pick it up. She tossed it away and took off. She tossed us away.
I’m not her Dom anymore.
I scan the lobby for her but she’s gone.
Thirty-Five
Nora
It hurts.
I thought ditching him in another city would be satisfying. But it’s not.
I thought pressing charges against the prick who invaded my home would feel like justice. But it doesn’t.
I thought letting my guard down with someone for one goddamn hour a day would take the stress out of my life but it sure as shit didn’t work.
This just fucking hurts.
There’s a knock on my door. I don’t move from my chair.
“Nora? Nora, honey. It’s us.”
“Our keys don’t work anymore.”
Trix and Melanie. I wasn’t very specific in my text message.
Fuck Clive.
I roll off the armchair and used tissues tumble off me. I wrap my blanket around my shoulders as I drag my feet to the door to open it.
Trix holds two bottles of wine and Melanie carries pizza boxes.
Melanie’s face twists with sympathy the moment she sees me. “Oh, honey…”
“I don’t wanna talk about it.”
I turn away and march back to my chair.
“Okay,” Trix says. “We won’t talk about it. We’ll just hang out. Okay? No talk necessary…”
“Right,” Melanie adds. She sets the boxes down on the coffee table while Trix retreats to the kitchen for glasses. “Talking is for losers.”
I yank out a fresh tissue and rest my head on the chair’s arm. “Thank you. ‘Cuz I don’t wanna talk.”
Melanie sits on the loveseat across from me. “What do you wanna do, Nor?” she asks, her voice quiet and soothing.
“Cry,” I answer.
“Okay.” She looks down. “Looks like you’ve been doing a lot of that already.”
“You are correct.”
“Are you hungry?”
“No.”
She raises her hands. “Okay. We have pizza for when you are.” Her eyes flick to the wall beside me. “Nora…”
“What?” I murmur.
“Is that a shotgun?”
I don’t look. “Yes.”
“Why do you have a shotgun?”
“Because this is my house.” I sniff. “I have to defend it.”
“Good lord…” she whispers.
Trix returns with three wineglasses and my corkscrew. She sits down next to Melanie, who promptly nudges her leg and points at the wall.
Trix stands right back up. “Hey, Nora, honey… how about we put this someplace safer, okay?”
I roll my eyes. “I wasn’t gonna use it, guys. It’s not loaded.”
Trix picks up the gun and turns it over in her hands, expertly popping the stock open to confirm it’s not loaded. “Is this the one my dad gave you?” she asks.
I nod. “For my housewarming party. He didn’t like the idea of me living alone on Michigan Avenue.” I scoff. “He was right.”
She sets it on the mantel above the fireplace and sits down next to Melanie again.
“Nora,” Melanie yanks the cork out of one of the bottles. “Wouldn’t you be more comfortable upstairs? Instead of all curled up on the chair?”
“No.” I sniff. “I can’t even look at the bed. It still smells like him…”
“Clive?”
“I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“Okay. Okay.” She picks up a glass. “No talking. Do you wanna maybe come over he
re with us?”
I eye the couch. “No. He touched that, too. He touched everything except this chair so I’m going to sit in this chair because he never touched it.”
Trix looks from me to the mantel. “He didn’t touch you, did he?”
I sit up, kicking a few more tissues to the floor. “No,” I answer. They visibly sigh with relief. “No. He just tricked me into trusting him but I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“Is that why you had your locks changed?” Melanie asks.
“No, I had my locks changed because he broke them busting through my damn door while he and I were away last night.”
“In New York?”
I blow my nose. “He got arrested while he was telling me he loved me.”
“Clive got arrested?”
“No. He did.”
Trix tilts her head. “Honey, you’re using a lot of pronouns here.”
I point at them. “I know what you guys are doing. You came here with the booze and the food and the quiet, motherly voices to get me to talk but I don’t wanna.”
“We just want to make sure you’re okay, Nor,” Melanie says. “That’s all.”
“Well, I’m fine,” I say, my nose stuffed up. “Don’t I look fine?”
“No,” Trix answers bluntly. “You don’t look fine. You look like something very bad happened to you and I wanna know what it was because Papa ‘Gento got more where that came from.” She points at the gun on the mantel.
I bite my lip, tasting tears on it. “He was my Dom and I trusted him,” I say. “He made me feel so good and then…” A sob rises from my chest but I force it back down. “Clive got the job at Black Book to steal my client list.”
Melanie’s eyes widen. “Did he?”
I shake my head. “He said he couldn’t. He said he fell for me and he couldn’t go through with it but I can’t shake this awful sick feeling that he lied about that, too, but I want to trust him. My body wants him so badly. I want to forgive and forget because I love him.” The sob takes over. “And I know how stupid that sounds. I hear the thoughts in my head but it doesn’t sound like me. It doesn’t feel like me. It feels bruised and broken and the only thing that can make me feel whole again is the one person I can’t trust anymore.”
They stand up quickly and move to either side of my chair.
