The kiss quickly became urgent and demanding, as she stroked him up and down with one hand, and pushed his clothes off him with the other hand. He pulled away from the kiss, quickly lifted her, and carried her up the stairs to the bedroom. Setting her in the middle of the bed, he stopped to look at her beautiful naked body, and began to lower his head to make love to her with his mouth and tongue. She grabbed his face in her hands and barely breathed out, “I can’t wait, Noah! I need you inside me, now!”
“OK, Brianna, but just this once…” she felt the deep rumble of his laughter through his thick chest. He moved his body to cover hers. Using his knee to part her legs, he settled between them and framed her face with his forearms. He paused at her wet opening, staring into her eyes, and she wrapped her legs around him, trying to push him forward while moving her hips towards him.
He laughed again, “My baby is so impatient,” as he pushed deeply into her. She cried out in pleasure and arched her back. They soon moved in time, his hips thrusting and hers rising to meet him over and over. He was amazed, and quite pleased with himself, that with her every orgasm, she wanted more and more.
At last, she cried out, “Noah, I can’t take any more! Come with me, baby.” He thrust in her, feeling her excitement building until he felt her walls milking him, squeezing and quivering, and he let go, whispering words of love, as he emptied himself into her.
Rolling off her to his side, he pulled her close to him and rubbed the bump on her stomach. He nuzzled his face into her hair as he said, “I think I’ll just keep you pregnant all the time. I’m really loving how you can’t get enough of me.”
She felt him smile against her, and she responded, “I don’t have to be pregnant to not get enough of you, Noah. That’ll never happen.” Then she playfully added, “I’ll be glad to let you try to make me, though.”
He loved her challenge, “You got a deal, and I’m holding you to that!” Brianna smiled and rolled to her side, snuggling into Noah’s body, as his arm wrapped around her. They drifted off to sleep, sated, and happy.
She awoke in the middle of the night and made her way to the bathroom. When she returned to bed, she had to admit that maybe the pregnancy hormones were adding to her desires, because she couldn’t go to sleep until she had him again. He was still sleeping soundly, as she planted feather lite kisses along his jaw, down his neck, and then took him in her mouth. He groaned in pleasure, and his hands went into her hair.
“Damn, woman, are you trying to kill me?” His tone was playful, but he was clearly aroused and more than willing. He pulled her head up with a groan, and she rose to straddle him. She held him at her core and intentionally impaled herself on him slowly, watching his eyes as he watched her. She began rocking back and forth slowly, enjoying the ride and the feel of his thick length fully inside her. She moved one hand up to her breast and pulled at her nipple.
His eyes darkened, and the look on his face was feral, as his hands gripped her hips and forced her to move faster. As she increased her speed, he began to thrust up into her. Both of her hands moved down her torso, one hand held tight at the base of his erection, as she moved up and down while the other hand reached around to gently stroke his balls, increasing his sensitivity. She felt him shooting into her, as she climaxed.
They were both breathing heavy, as they rolled to the side and snuggled. Noah confirmed on a pant, “Oh yeah, I’m definitely keeping you pregnant from now on.”
Noah woke early the next morning, eased out of bed to let Brianna sleep, and went down to the kitchen to cook her breakfast. The smell of bacon and coffee woke her, and she smiled when she realized where he was. She picked up his t-shirt that was on the chair beside the bed, pulled it over her head, and watched as the hem fell to her mid-thighs. In the bathroom, she ran her fingers through her hair, brushed her teeth and then made a beeline for the kitchen.
Noah looked up, as she walked in, and she recognized the hunger in his eyes and the gruffness of his voice, “You look good enough to eat. Seeing you wearing my shirt turns me on.”
She stood on her tiptoes and planted a heated kiss on his lips. “I’ll let you show me just how much later in the shower.”
She turned towards the coffee and heard him growl. Suddenly, she was lifted in air, sat on the counter, and Noah stepped in between her legs. She wrapped her legs around him and pulled him in close to her. The look in his eyes was pure love, so warm and inviting she felt it reach deep inside her.
He cradled her face in his hands, and he opened his mouth to say something but stopped. She could see raw emotions in his eyes and knew he wasn’t at all the sensitive type, the type to easily share his feelings.
Brianna put her hand on his, leaned into his palm and patiently urged him on, “What do you want to say, Noah? It’s just me – you can tell me anything.”
He moved his hands to her hips, but didn’t take his eyes off hers. “I need you to hear me out, ok? So I can get it all out at once.” Brianna nodded in agreement.
“When I first met you, in the desert, I knew it was a bad idea to get involved, the secret missions, and we lived literally a world apart. But I couldn’t stay away from you and I really tried. I fell completely in love with you out there. And I found you on purpose that night in the bar. That wasn’t luck or coincidence. It was luck that some guy didn’t have his hands on you when I walked in, because I would’ve killed him.”
He took a step back from her, a deep breath, and raked his hand over his jaw before continuing. Brianna didn’t interrupt. She knew he wasn’t finished, but her heart lurched at the distance he suddenly put between them.
“When you started asking me a lot of questions about Richard, I got jealous. It seemed like you were talking about him all the time, and I started thinking maybe you were cheating on me with him. Really thinking that you were, Bri, and I pulled away from you.”
He took another step away from her and leaned against the island. “That day you came to me wanting to talk, I was so wrapped up in my own bullshit I couldn’t think straight. I said I was too busy with work, but I wasn’t. I was afraid you were going to say you were leaving me. I’ve never ran from anything in my life, Bri, but I ran from that.”
She nodded that she understood what he meant and looked down at the floor. She’d never even considered that he thought she would cheat on him. She suddenly noticed he was quiet, so she looked back up at him. He was waiting for her full attention, and he was giving her time to digest what he’d said.
“Then you left for your assignment and you didn’t come back. When they showed up at the door to tell me you were dead, I…” his voice trailed off, and his hands were balled into tight fists. “I didn’t think I would make it. I was on suicide watch. I don’t know how long Bull and Rebel stayed here with me, because I didn’t want to live without you.”
Brianna didn’t speak, but the tears were steadily flowing down her cheeks, as his words created the mental images. She’d often wondered what exactly had happened, but hearing it was more painful than she’d thought possible.
“They say time heals all wounds, but that’s not true. Time made it worse. Time reminded me of all the things that we would never do together. I learned to live with the pain, but it never left. The day you came back, I was torn between being so damn grateful that you were alive and so fucking mad that you were alive.”
He saw the hurt flash over her eyes again and immediately realized how the words sounded.
“Not mad that you were alive. That came out wrong. I was mad that you stayed away from me all that time – three long years. I mean, how could you have ever loved me, if it was so easy for you to live without me, you know? Anyway, when you stayed with me that night, you told me and showed me how much you loved me in so many ways. When I got up the next morning, I actually felt better. I smelled the waffles, and it was like those three years were just a bad dream. You were here with me again.”
He next spoke through clenched teeth, holding back the anger and my
riad of other emotions that were swirling in his eyes. “And then I realized you were gone again. I know why you did it. But Bri, while I was searching for you, all I could do was listen while they beat you and threatened to kill you. I ran in that building, just as she was squeezing the trigger. The gun was point blank at your head…one second later and I would’ve watched you die!”
He started pacing the floor, keeping his eyes on hers, as he kept talking, “Brianna, you willingly gave up your life to save me – twice! You are so much stronger than I ever gave you credit for. I thought I was strong, but you seemed to be just fine without me. I need to understand how that is.”
Chapter 26
Brianna was still and silent, as the tears continued to flow. Hearing Noah describe what he went through, the pain she put him through, tore her heart out. She wanted to explain, to give him some consolation without making excuses. She thought the best way to do that was to just state it.
With a watery voice, she started, “I’d appreciate it if you’d hear me out now. I will tell you whatever you want to know. I want you to know that I don’t mean for anything I say to sound like an excuse. I’m only trying to explain my thoughts and feelings, ok?”
Noah nodded and closed the distance between them, moving back between her legs and rested his hands on her hips. He kissed her forehead and waited for her to gather her thoughts.
With a small smile, she said, “I’m sure you knew, but I was head over heels in love with you when we first met. I had to leave before you returned from your mission, and it killed me to wear that blindfold. Thinking I might pass you on your way back, get just a glimpse at you, or maybe a wave before I left. And it wasn’t luck that I wasn’t with another guy when you walked in that bar, Noah. It was love. There was no one else for me after we made love that night in the desert.”
He cocked an eyebrow in disbelief, but as agreed, didn’t say anything. “There wasn’t. I had offers, a few guys asked me out, but I never went. No one else even held a candle to you. And, I’m sure you know this by now, but just in case, I never cheated on you with Richard. Or anyone else for that matter. Not even in the three years we were apart. That day I went to talk to you and you were busy, I thought you were about to leave me. I had no idea you thought I was seeing him.”
He knew she was telling the truth, but he still couldn’t believe his ears. She remained true to me all that time? He didn’t have to say anything for Brianna to know what he was thinking. “My heart still belonged to you, Noah. No one else could ever take your place. And even though you didn’t know, I still thought of myself as…well, yours, and I would never betray you like that.”
“I know it feels like I did betray you, and I can’t blame you for feeling that way. I guess in a way you’re right. I let you believe a lie, even if it was meant for your good. Richard was there when I went on that last assignment. I didn’t even know that at first, though. I met my informant and he told me where to find the rest of the evidence. Then I went back to my hotel.”
“Richard had already figured out I was investigating him, and he knew I had evidence that proved his guilt and your innocence. He tried to convince me that you were in just as deep as he was and if I revealed him, it would destroy you, too. He tried to kill me over there, and he would have if he could’ve found the flash drive. Only I didn’t have it with me. I had hid it here in the house before I left. I don’t know why I did that. I’d never done that before, but something just told me I needed to.”
A shudder ran through her body at the thought of what would’ve happened had she took it with her. “Anyway, I escaped from him and took a taxi to the airport. I was running back to you – to tell you everything that had happened. But Richard’s men got to the airport before I did, and I couldn’t find a way in without them seeing me. So I missed the flight. I was hiding outside the airport, crying as I watched it leave without me. Then it exploded.”
She was silent for a minute, tears flowing for all the people who died on that flight when that explosion was meant for her alone. Noah sensed her pain and lovingly rubbed her arms while he patiently waited for her to continue.
Sniffling and taking a deep, calming breath, she said, “At the time, I didn’t think about how strange it was that a US Marshal walked out of the airport in the Middle East. My first thought was just that he could get me home to you. So, I gave him the condensed version of what had happened. It wasn’t until later that I realized he asked me if I had the evidence on me.
When I said it was still in the US, that’s when he agreed to get me home. But he wouldn’t let me come back here to you. With everything that had happened – Richard trying to kill me, the plane exploding, all the evidence being here…He’d spun a great story of why I had to go into WITSEC to protect you, especially since Richard was implicating you.
“The Marshal kept asking for all the evidence the whole three years, but I didn’t know why until recently. He didn’t believe I had given him everything, because I never found his name in it. Well, you heard the rest of that conversation when I was in the car with him. But Richard knew I still had it, too, and he wanted it.
“Stevens knew Richard wasn’t on the plane, even though he showed on the manifest. I didn’t know that for sure until that morning when Rebel said Richard was presumed dead, but not from the plane exploding. When Richard showed up in the paper, I knew he’d found me. And since I was already ‘dead,’ the only way he could get me to cooperate was through you.
“I’m sorry doesn’t even begin to make up for what I did. There are no words to even explain how bad I feel for what you went through. I wish I could take it all back. I wish I had run home to you anyway and figured out something else. Those three years were pure hell for me, Noah.
“Knowing that you were only a plane ride away from me haunted me. I cried myself to sleep every single night, wishing you were there with me, wondering whom you were with, and knowing you had to move on with your life. The only thing that kept me going was the small hope I had that we could be together again one day.
“I was just so alone, Noah. I thought you were leaving me. We had become so distant in those last few weeks. I wanted to talk to you and tell you everything, but you weren’t really talking to me. You had even quit sleeping in the bed with me. You started taking night shifts and staying gone. I didn’t think you wanted me to live here with you anymore.
“Then when I was in some third world country, Richard tried to kill me. Then the plane I was supposed to be on exploded and to this day, I don’t even know who did that. The US Marshal told me all these terrible things that would happen to you because of me, if I didn’t go along with the story.”
She shook her head as she said, “There’s still no excuse for hurting you like that. I just want you to try to understand that I couldn’t let them destroy you because of me. You would’ve gone to prison, or they would’ve killed you. And it would’ve been entirely my fault. I believed they would leave you alone if everyone thought I was dead. I thought you were leaving me anyway, so I guess I didn’t really think you would’ve taken the news that badly. I only wanted to protect you, Noah, because I love you so much.”
Noah leaned in to kiss her, but she gently stopped him by putting her palms on his chest.
He felt her back as it went straight as a rod and her muscles tensed. “You asked me to marry you, to have a family with you, and there’s nothing I want more. But there is something I need to know now. I need you to be honest - with yourself as much as with me.”
He nodded and then said, “What do you need to know?”
“I need to know if…” her mouth was suddenly dry.
She didn’t want to finish the question, because she was afraid of his answer. It could change everything. Her hand instinctively went to her stomach, automatically protecting their baby that was growing inside her. Tears filled her eyes, as she looked at his handsome face and felt the same anxiety rising in her chest that she felt every night she had slept without him.
Noah was trying his best to figure out what was on her mind that had upset her so much. He saw her hand move to her stomach, as if she were shielding their baby from something hurtful, and saw the tears welling up, even as she tried to fight it. He kept his voice low and soothing, “What, baby? Tell me what you need to know.”
She had to know for sure before they could move forward. She knew she had to get the words out. “I need to know if you can forgive me.”
Noah didn’t answer, but his eyes were silently questioning her.
She took a deep breath, “I know you love me and care about me. I know you want our baby. But love isn’t enough to make a happy marriage and a happy home. If you can’t forgive me, if this is always between us, we can’t ever really be happy. Everything has happened so quickly with us since I came back here. Maybe you should take some time to be alone and think about it. I will understand if you do.”
Noah finally answered, “You’re exactly right.”
She tentatively asked, “About?”
“We can’t be happy without forgiveness. There hasn’t been one day that I haven’t loved you. Not one day that I didn’t want to be with you. I’ve never wanted you to leave, Bri. Forgive me for ever making you feel that way.”
Brianna stared at him like he had lost his mind. That sexy smile crept across his face.
“And I will forgive you if you promise to never, ever, leave me like that again.” His face turned serious, as he punctuated each word, “Brianna. I. Can’t. Lose. You. Again.”
“I promise, Noah. I promise,” she cried, as she pulled him to her. He kissed her and pulled her into his strong arms.
**************
“Noah?” Brianna’s tone was cautious when she approached him as he was working in his home office.
He looked up from his computer screen and smiled, “Hey, baby. Come here.” She walked to him and he pulled her into his lap. He wrapped one arm behind her and the other hand rested on her baby bump. He kissed her and asked, “What’s on your mind?”
Wicked Games Page 16
