by Ava Walsh
"Hey," she said, keeping her voice low, soothing. "Wanna talk to me, Oliver?"
"Mack." His voice was strangled, hoarse.
"Yeah, it's me. You weren't in your room." Rather than approaching him dead-on, Mack inched around to the side, so that he could see her approaching. "I got worried."
"Is it morning already?" He turned towards her. Tear tracks ran down his face, and his expression was dazed and unfocused.
Mack nodded. Her heart was pounding against her ribs, her nerves tingling, but she made sure to keep her body language open and non-threatening. There was something about him that looked trapped and ready to spring into flight or fight mode, and she just wanted to show him he was safe. It was odd, because if he did decide to fight, there wasn't a whole lot she could do to hurt him.
He's not going to hurt me, Mack thought, and she knew it was true. She continued to move cautiously, but she wasn't afraid he'd come at her–more afraid that he'd run and she wouldn't be able to help.
Damn. I care about him more than I want to admit. When did that happen? It took her months to connect to people, yet with Oliver it had happened in a matter of days.
"Want to tell me what happened?" Mack bit her lip. "I've never seen you like this."
"Today's the day my parents died."
Mack crouched, arms folded over her knees. "How long ago was that?"
"Ten years. I was seventeen. It was a car accident. A head-on collision with another car."
"I'm sorry," she whispered, shifting forwards. "That's horrible."
"It was my fault. I was fighting with my dad. I distracted him." Oliver's gaze locked on hers and he shivered, his immense chest heaving, sweat coating his arms and face. "We were always fighting. I can't even remember the last time we had spent time together when I didn't turn it into a fight."
"You were seventeen."
Oliver shivered again.
"Kids that age fight with their parents. They're almost adults but are still children, and parents don't always get that. I remember when I was seventeen, I was constantly getting into battles with my mom over the stupidest things. But really I was just trying to figure out who I was and where I fit in the world. I remember one time, my mom suggested that I braid my hair, but I didn't think it was long enough and I screamed at her." Mack shook her head. "I was a little bitch."
Oliver's lips twitched. "I wanted to look into my adoption records. I guess my dad thought it meant I didn't really think of them as my parents. My mom was trying to calm us down. She was always the calm one, always able to get us to think things through. I remember suddenly seeing headlights…"
Mack was close enough to touch now, and she cautiously pressed a hand to his chest. His heart pounded against her fingers, and slowly she wrapped her arms around him. "It's not your fault."
Oliver remained stiff in her arms for a moment, then his arms went around her as well and his forehead dropped to her shoulder. The sweat on his skin suctioned them together, and his colossal shoulders trembled.
"I miss them. I've looked for my birth parents since then, but I was left at a hospital as an infant. There isn't even any security footage of the person who left me."
Mack thought of her own family, her annoying but endearing brothers, her down-to-earth father who always helped her find the most practical way of doing things, her fanciful mother who always encouraged her to find her dreams. Tears burned in her eyes and, without even being aware of it, she started talking again.
"Gedge, the drug lord I saw murder my boss, he never went after my family. But I'm afraid every day that he will. They're going to be moved into witness protection, too, but right now I can't even talk to them. We were always close."
"At least you have them. I'll never have a family again."
"Of course you will." She pulled back and smiled at him. "You're going to have a family again. You're going to find a wonderful woman, fall in love and have kids. It's going to be great."
His arms tightened around her and she suddenly became aware of just how close their bodies were. Her breasts were mashed against his chest. Their faces so close that she could smell his breath–it smelled like oranges. Her knees were on either side of his hips, her skin stuck to his. Her heart increased at the intimacy of their position.
Oliver's gaze flickered to her lips and she held her breath–was he going to kiss her?
To her disappointment, which was so strong it startled her, Oliver released her. He straightened, backing away from her. His movements were cool, calm, his face expressionless. She couldn't bring herself to stand as well, but stayed crouching where she was, staring up at him.
"No. I'll never find a woman who will accept everything about me and even if I did… I can't ever have children."
"Why?"
"I just can't." He ran a hand through his hair and marched past her. "I'm going to go shower. Please have my breakfast ready when I'm done."
Mack straightened, pressing a hand to her chest as he strode away. Her whole body felt tight, her brain dizzy. What had that been? I must be dehydrated, she told herself firmly, trying to ignore the tingling in her arms that felt like he was still in her embrace.
Chapter Four
Sweat pooled in the hollow of Mack's throat as she lay in bed, wearing her normal fare of a tank top and briefs. The blankets were a jumbled mess on the floor, and the breeze that moved through the room due to the open door and window wasn't doing her much good. She had given up before she caught Oliver during their playtime that night, and now she was suffering the consequences.
Her mind kept drifting to Oliver; it had been a few days since she had found him tearing up his atrium in grief, and since then he had been his normal cheerful, buoyant self.
He had seemed to be craving physical touch more, though, and Mack found that she enjoyed the small pats on her hands and shoulders that he gave her. He'd even given her a massage. His spade-like hands were surprisingly soft and gentle.
The sound of something moving in her room had adrenaline surging in her blood. Her eyes snapped open. At first, the shadows all blended together, but then–there! A huge shadow darker than the rest. Her heart pounded.
Mack stared at it, her eyes widening as she tried to see if it was real. Slowly, her hand reached for her cellphone, which she always kept on her nightstand even though she couldn't get a signal.
The shadow moved closer and Mack screamed. The dark shape lurched to one side and disappeared out of her door. Mack screamed again, her clumsy fingers dropping her cell phone. She reached for the lamp and was blinded as light flooded the room.
There was nothing in sight, and she rushed to the door. Other than her room, only Oliver's was on this level. There were no stairs, only a fire pole and a ladder that went to the floor beneath.
When Mack turned on the lights in the hallway, she saw nothing. Had it gone into Oliver's room? She dashed back into her room, grabbing an antique candlestick as a weapon, and cautiously approached his room. Her heart thumped in her dry throat, but she wasn't about to turn back, not when there was something up here. It had been huge! Was it a cougar?
Oliver entered the hall before she reached his room. As usual, he only wore his boxers. He yawned, scrubbing at his eyes before frowning at her. "Did I hear you scream?"
"There's an animal in here!" she hissed.
Olive's brows rose. "Animal?"
"I was in bed and there was an animal standing over my bed." Mack lowered the candlestick.
Only now that she was saying it out loud, she wasn't entirely certain it was true. She always had strange dreams, and often when she woke up it took her a few moments to discern truth from a dream. What if she had still been half-asleep?
Oliver's eyes widened. "What kind of animal was it?"
"It was too dark to tell. Did anything go into your room?"
"No. I heard you screaming, but I thought it was just part of my dream."
Despite herself, Mack found herself curious as to what sort of dream she
would be screaming in. "Were you having a nightmare?"
He ducked his head and kicked at the carpet. "Yes," he mumbled.
Mack didn't believe it. Her heart warmed as she thought of what other sort of dream she would be screaming in… With Oliver, it was impossible to tell how he felt about her. If he was attracted to her, then—
Stop. Mack tramped down on her musings hard.
Even someone as hard to read as Oliver would have obvious signs of attraction–especially since they both spent all day long running around in their underwear! But then, she had never looked for that sign of attraction… Well, it was rude to stare at people's groins and she wasn't going to start now!
"It might have been a cougar," she said, turning her mind back to what was important. "Nothing else would be able to climb in through the windows."
"The windows up here have screens on them," Oliver offered. "Did you close the door to the next floor?"
Mack opened her mouth, but suddenly she couldn't remember if she had. "I don't know."
Oliver padded down the hallway towards the trapdoor that covered the fire pole and ladder that led downstairs. Mack followed, though she couldn't stop herself from looking over her shoulder every few seconds. Her heart had returned to normal, though, and being close to Oliver she felt safe enough that this whole situation was starting to feel a little ridiculous.
The door was closed, and there was no way an animal would have been able to close it after itself.
"I might have been dreaming," she confessed. "Sometimes that sort of thing happens to me."
"Better safe than sorry." Oliver gave her a smile. "We'll check the windows to see if the screens are intact."
They headed for his room. The blankets on Oliver's bed were twisted up into a nest, and there were scatterings of leaves and twigs everywhere. Mack bit back a sigh as he checked the window in his bathroom–she would have to vacuum up here again. Well, at least it wasn't the absolute mess it had been when she first arrived!
Last of all, they checked the windows in Mack's room. Other than the time when he had showed her the spacious room, complete with a bathroom that featured a three-person hot tub for a bathtub and a shower big enough to fit four or five people inside, he had never been in there with her. Mack sucked her lip between her teeth, feeling awkward about him being in her private space.
"Everything's intact," Oliver said. "No holes in the screens anywhere."
Mack wrapped her arms around her waist, beginning to shake now that the adrenaline was wearing off. "It must have been a dream. That happens sometimes. I'm sorry I woke you up."
Oliver scratched his chin, expression puzzled. "Are you okay?"
"It's probably the heat." She forced a smile. "I've never been able to sleep well hot, and it leads to that half-awake half-sleeping drugged state where everything seems real."
It had felt so real, though. Different than any other time she had ever experienced the waking dreams that so often confused her. But there was no way an animal had gotten into her room. Unless…
"I want to see something." She grabbed Oliver's hand and dragged him back to the main part of her bedroom, positioning him at the foot of her bed.
"What is it?"
She didn't answer, flicking off the hallway light before laying back down and turning off her bedside lamp. Her breathing was shallow as she peered into the darkness. She could barely see the dark shadow that was Oliver. But he was far too tall to have been the thing standing over her bed.
"Mack, what is it?"
"Take a step back?"
Oliver did so, grumbling. "Do you think I came into your room?"
"No. But Gedge is still after me. If he learned where I was…" She turned the light back on. "But what I saw–what I think I saw was too short to be a person. I guess I was just dreaming. I'm not going to be able to sleep at all tonight, though."
Guilt flashed across Oliver's face. "It was me," he blurted. "I'm sorry. It was me."
Mack rose a brow. "Excuse me?"
"I couldn't sleep, and I decided to come wake you up so we could go play or watch a movie or something. So I came in here, and then I realized how selfish and creepy I was being, so I was going to leave, but then I woke you up. And I was too embarrassed to say anything."
Mack stared at Oliver. She knew she should be furious at him for that, sneaking into her room and then putting on that elaborate show of checking everything to hide his actions, but she wasn't. Instead, she found herself laughing. Maybe it was just that she was too relieved that it was Oliver and not something scary, but she wasn't angry at all.
"That's a relief," she said, brushing her hair from her face. "For the record, though, please don't come into my room when you think I'm sleeping unless you turn on some lights first."
Oliver nodded. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay," Mack smiled. "Let's just go to bed."
Oliver stared at her, licking his lips nervously. He opened his mouth, but seemed to change his mind and hung his head. "I'll turn on the air conditioning in here so you can sleep better."
Mack didn't know what possessed her to say it, but the words were out before she could stop and think rationally–"Would you like to sleep in here tonight?"
Oliver froze. He turned wide eyes on her. Was it just her imagination, or did he actually look excited? His eyes hooded. "You mean sex?"
Heat flooded Mack's face. "I… I wasn't exactly thinking sex, but…"
What was she saying? She wasn't the type of girl who just invited men to have sex with her! And Oliver had never shown interest in her in that way.
"But?" he prodded.
"I'm sorry. This is completely inappropriate. Forget I said anything."
Oliver inched towards the door, a conflicted expression on his face. Eventually, he sighed and shook his head. "It's late, you're tired and with that scare, you're not thinking clearly. We'll talk in the morning."
Wait, what did that mean? Mack's eyes widened and she straightened. "You mean you want—"
"We'll talk in the morning," he repeated. "Goodnight."
He shut the door behind him, and within a few minutes the gentle breeze of the air-conditioning wafted across her skin. Mack shut the windows, her mind reeling.
Maybe it was because she was tired and it was so late at night, but she thought she had seen the desire in Oliver's eyes... but that was ridiculous, wasn't it? He was so childlike, he probably never even thought about sex, or thought that he would get cooties from her or something. She was reading too much into things, and she had made him uncomfortable.
Wasn't this exactly the type of situation that she had wanted to avoid? She was going to be gone in a couple more months anyway… But the thought of leaving made her wince. Even though she had only been with Oliver for a month, she felt like she had known him her whole life, and she was more comfortable with him than she was with her own family.
I'm in too deep.
Mack lay down in bed and turned off her light–but she did not sleep at all.
Chapter Five
By the time morning came, Mack was a ball of nerves. Would Oliver want to pretend last night never happened? Or had she gone too far; would he want her gone? She didn't want to go–she had only known him for a month, but she realized that she had never felt so relaxed and at home as she did in this crazy open-air house full to bursting with plants, even if it did come with creepy crawlers.
"I'm not the kind of girl who falls in love after just a month," she tried to tell herself, but it was a lie–she might not have been that kind of girl before, but she certainly was now.
She didn't want this to be over. She didn't want to be sent to Utah or wherever else Meyer wanted to put her. What she wanted was for her family to move into the closest town and to set up her animal rescue shelter there, so she could spend her weekends here with Oliver–or maybe they could transform the grounds into some sort of wildlife rehabilitation center.
The point was moot until she knew if Oliver was going to
send her back, anyway.
He came shuffling in, looking shy, not at all like his normal self, just as she finished making breakfast. A brief smile crossed his face as he plopped himself at the table. Mack tried to suppress the instant disappointment that flooded her. With her carelessness the previous night, she had ruined everything.
"Sorry," both blurted at the same time.
Mack giggled and Oliver grinned.
"I already told you, you don't have anything to be sorry about," she told him, setting his normal fare of mealworms and mangos in front of him. Mack was going for a safer protein smoothie, made from a vegan protein powder, not bugs. Putting a worm or a cricket into her mouth was something she just wasn't ever going to try.
"I still feel bad. It was wrong of me to go into your room at night. I'm surprised you didn't run away from me screaming last night." Oliver poked at his breakfast. "I told you that I have personal boundary issues. Well, I have a lot of social issues in general. I always have. I've never really fit in anywhere, except here. But it gets lonely."
Mack nodded her understanding. "I'm not always the best in social situations, either. I have a pretty nasty temper when it comes to most people. You ought to have seen the way I ripped apart my dad when I told him I was quitting my job at the zoo. It was a bloodbath, and all he asked was why."
She shook her head, shuddering. She was glad that Oliver had never seen that side of her. She didn't know why, but she never got angry at him. Maybe because he was just so uninhibited that she couldn't fault him when he crossed a line or two or five.
"Why did you?"
"I had a crisis of faith. Sort of. I mean, I do think that there is some good that zoos do, I really do, but I got to a point where I wasn't sure it was enough. To be honest, I'm still not sure exactly where I stand, but I could never go back."
Oliver frowned at that but nodded. "I see."
