by J. H. Croix
My mom cleared her throat, and I glanced up.
“Were you planning to answer my question?” she asked.
I took another gulp of coffee and considered what to say. After a moment, I ran a hand through my hair with a sigh. “Mom, nothing happened.”
She arched a brow. “I’m not stupid, Cade. I can tell by the look on your face something happened. Please tell me you two came to your senses and figured out you belong together.”
“Mom, it’s been seven years. Amelia just walked out on her fiancée yesterday. You can’t seriously think I’d show up and everything would be sorted out that fast. I don’t even know…”
“Don’t even start with me,” she snapped. “You two never got over each other. Good grief, Amelia was so determined not to talk about you, she’d walk out of the room if I even said your name at her mother’s house. And you? You stayed in California six years longer than you planned just to avoid seeing that girl.”
My mother’s words were like a kick to the gut—the sickening kind. She was quite right, but I didn’t like thinking about any of it. It stung to hear how hard Amelia worked not to hear the truth about what never happened with Shannon. She was as stubborn as me. If not more so.
My mom actually huffed before standing and snatching my empty coffee mug. She practically stomped to the counter and refilled it before returning. After a moment of silence, she looked back over at me. “Could you at least let me tell Sarah you ran into Amelia and she’s okay?” she asked, referencing Amelia’s mother.
“Yeah. If she’s worried, tell her I dropped Amelia off at Quinn’s cabin. I think Amelia wants a little peace and quiet before she has to face the music for running off right before her wedding. She didn’t ask me to keep it quiet, so I figure her mom should know where she’s at.”
My mom eyed me for a long moment. Not for the first time, I wished she wasn’t so damn perceptive. I could feel her trying to read into me. My heart and mind were one giant mess, and I sure as hell didn’t want to try to make sense of it all with my mother. I loved her to pieces, and I knew I was blessed to have her as a mother, but a little privacy wouldn’t hurt about now.
“Mom, don’t stare me down, okay?”
She flashed a knowing smile. “You’re just uncomfortable because I know you so well. Maybe you don’t want to talk, but I will. I’ve said it before, so I’ll say it again: don’t let resentment keep you away from someone you love. Shannon stirred the pot and made an ugly mess for you and Amelia. Don’t let her actions dictate your future. You finally have a chance to make things right with the only woman you ever loved. Do it.”
At that, she took a slow sip of coffee and picked up her phone, standing to leave me at the table by myself.
“Sarah, it’s me. Just talked to Cade and believe it or not, he gave Amelia a ride yesterday…”
My mother’s words faded as she walked down the hallway. I savored another gulp of coffee and stared out the window. My parents’ home was situated a few miles from downtown Willow Brook. They had a sprawling log home tucked into a cluster of cottonwood. This area of Alaska a mix of fields and rocky area as it was situated in the distant foothills of Denali, the famed centerpiece of the Alaska Range. The cottonwood opened up to a grassy field with a river running through it. I’d missed this view, missed it every day I’d been away.
Yet, I hadn’t missed it as much as I’d missed Amelia.
Chapter Seven
Amelia
I eyed the moose standing between my brother’s battered truck and me. The moose in question, a gangly female yearling, stared back at me. Its brown fur looked soft, its dark eyes wide and curious. The moose looked so at ease, I might’ve been tempted to carry on and walk straight past it, but I knew better. Moose were near-sighted. I figured I looked like a blurry shape at this distance. If I were lucky, the moose would bolt in the opposite direction when I got close enough, but that was no guarantee. More people were injured by moose every year in Alaska than by bears. Moose weren’t predatory, but they startled easy. You never knew if they’d run off or run at you, so it was best to steer clear.
I leaned against the deck railing and waited. A squirrel peered over at me from its perch on the railing a few feet away. I’d scattered sunflower seeds on the ground nearby this morning. The squirrel flicked its eyes from me to the ground before bursting into chatter and leaping to the ground. The chatter galvanized the moose yearling, and she jogged into the trees.
I gave it a few more minutes before stepping off the porch and walking to Quinn’s truck. My older brother Quinn was one of my favorite people. I figured he might be worried about me, but he’d give me the space I needed. His cabin was roughly a half hour outside of Willow Brook. He’d purchased it about a year ago when it came up for sale. He had no intention of living here, but he’d wanted a place nearby for when he visited with his wife Lacey. Only a few months ago, Lacey had given birth to their first daughter. They’d named her after our mother, Sarah. I adored Quinn and had been beyond happy when he finally saw the light of day and admitted he was in love with Lacey.
I couldn’t help but wonder if Sarah’s birth had been the trigger that snapped me out of my stupidity over Earl. I’d gone to Diamond Creek where Quinn and Lacey lived to meet baby Sarah. I’d left the next day wondering if I’d ever get lucky enough to find something like what they had. Quinn loved Lacey down to her bones—headstrong, willful, tomboy Lacey. I wanted someone to love me like that.
It wasn’t that I hadn’t known there wasn’t much passion between Earl and me. I’d told Cade the truth when I said I thought Earl was the best chance I had. Because it had sure as hell seemed like it. Less than twenty-four hours with Cade had been a brutally painful reminder of what I’d once had.
I climbed into the beater truck Quinn had left parked here. Several attempts to get the engine to turn over failed. I leaned my head against the seat with a sigh. I hadn’t been thinking clearly when I’d asked Cade to drop me off here yesterday. All I’d known was I needed to get the hell away from him before I did or said anything else stupid. I also hadn’t been ready to face anyone in Willow Brook. Yet, here I was now with no phone and no way to go anywhere. Quinn and Lacey had plenty of food here, but I had quickly discovered being alone with my thoughts with next to nothing to distract me wasn’t helping. At all.
I tossed and turned last night, my dreams a messy mix of fury and arousal. I’d woken in the midst of a heated dream, so hot it made me blush. Of course, the only man I ever dreamt about like that was Cade. Even worse, the dream was more vivid than any I’d had in years because I’d seen him. He’d gone from being a ghost of my past to a living, breathing raw manifestation of masculinity in the here and now.
With a muttered cruse, I leapt back out of the truck, only to find the curious yearling had returned and was nibbling on the bushes by the front porch. I put my hands on my hips and sighed. “Dammit! Moose, go find some food somewhere else,” I called.
The yearling paused in its nibbling, its ear flicking in my direction for a second before it resumed eating. Another squirrel dashed past me on the stone walkway leading up to the cabin, racing to the scattered sunflower seeds and right under the feet of the yearling. I looked up at the cabin. It was a cute little place. The home was two stories in a perfect square with an angled roof to let the snow slide off in winter. Quinn had hired me to replace the roof last year, and I’d installed pretty blue steel roofing.
I glanced down at my t-shirt. I was still attired in Cade’s t-shirt and the pair of jeans I’d grabbed at the department store by the hotel yesterday morning. With a sigh, I spun back to lean against the truck. The moose was happily chomping away on the bushes, so unless I felt inclined to chase it off, I’d have to wait it out.
I wished I hadn’t been so stupid as to throw my phone away and, even worse, so stupid as to insist Cade drop me off here. I scanned the small clearing in front of the cabin, my eyes landing on the woodpile with an axe resting on the chopping stump. I
t was a good distance away from the moose. Fine. I’d chop some wood. It was the least I could do for Quinn and Lacey hosting me when they didn’t even know I was here.
Chopping wood was so satisfying. Every swing of the axe, every thwack of it as it collided with the wood gave release to my pent up messy emotions. I must’ve been at it a good half hour when I heard the low rumble of an engine coming down the winding driveway. I’d finally managed to knock my mind off its loop of Cade, but it instantly swung back to him. No one else knew I was here.
With my pulse off to the races and my belly somersaulting, I looked over my shoulder to see his black truck rolling to a slow stop. I looked away and swung the axe again.
Chapter Eight
Cade
I walked across the gravel drive, my eyes on Amelia. She’d tied my too-big shirt in a knot at her waist, giving me a nice view of her lush bottom as she leaned forward to toss aside the wood she’d just split in two. She swung the axe again, efficiently splitting another log and promptly moving onto the next. When I reached her side, she stopped, letting the axe fall to the ground. She dragged her sleeve across her face and looked over at me. Her hair was loose and fell in honey-brown waves around her shoulders. Her skin was flushed and her eyes uncertain.
Just like that, I was hard. Fuck. Amelia made me crazy. I didn’t even know why I was here. All I knew was I got worried about her mom heading out this way once she found out where Amelia was. The second I started worrying about that, I was calling out to my mom I’d be back later and taking off.
I tore my eyes from hers—the amber-gold gaze that grabbed at me—and scanned the yard. A yearling stood by the porch basically destroying the bushes there, and a few squirrels were busy running back and forth. I managed a breath and tried to talk my body down. Another breath, and I thought I could look at her again.
She stood there, one hand on her hip, and all I wanted was to lift her into my arms and find somewhere to lose myself in her. I recalled my mother’s comments about us and about me finally getting a chance to make things right. If only it were that easy.
I swatted those thoughts aside and eyed Amelia. “Thought I’d drop by. You didn’t ask me not to tell anyone where you were. My mom hounded me about at least letting your mom know you’re okay, so I caved. If I should’ve kept my mouth shut, I’m sorry. Thought you might want to know.”
Amelia was quiet and then nodded slowly. “Right. I didn’t expect you to keep it a secret. I, uh, well, I guess I realized it wasn’t the brightest idea to be out here without a phone. Quinn’s truck won’t start,” she said, gesturing toward an old truck that had definitely seen better days.
I glanced to the truck and back to her. “Don’t imagine it would. Looks like it’s been sitting in one place for most of the year,” I said, pointing to the tires settled into the ground.
“Maybe you can give it a jump,” Amelia said, her voice lilting slightly in question.
I was instantly disappointed. Not because of what she said specifically, but because of what it meant. If the truck started up, I’d be expected to leave as soon as it did. While I couldn’t have said precisely why I was here, I sure as hell didn’t want to leave. Yeah, and it’s gonna look great for you to refuse to help with the truck. Man up and help her out.
I was nodding before I realized it. Since talking didn’t make a lick of sense with us, I simply walked back to my truck. In short order, I had it parked in front of the old truck and was hooking up the jumper cables. A few tries and nothing happened. Amelia climbed out of Quinn’s truck and came to stare under the hood.
“Are you sure you hooked it up right?” she asked, glancing from the truck battery to me.
I didn’t even try not to roll my eyes. “Seriously, Lia?” I swung a palm across the span between the two trucks. “Feel free to check.”
Amelia’s eyes went wide and her nostrils flared. I abruptly realized I’d just called her by my old nickname for her. Most of the time, I called her Amelia like everyone else did. But when we were alone, sometimes I called her Lia. I felt as if I’d just been kicked in the chest—it hurt that much to remember.
She didn’t say a word and finally tore her gaze free, her eyes traveling along the jumper cables from my truck battery to the other one. “Of course you got it right,” she said softly. She looked up again, her eyes shuttered. “Let’s try one more time. Okay?”
Another attempt to no avail. Amelia climbed back out of Quinn’s old truck and unhooked the jumper cables, carefully coiling them before handing them back to me. My fingers brushed hers when I took them, sending a hot jolt of electricity straight through me. I returned them to my truck and closed the hood. I glanced back to the cabin and chuckled.
“Hope Quinn wasn’t too attached to those bushes,” I offered as I watched the yearling nibble one down.
Amelia followed my gaze and laughed softly. “Lacey probably won’t be too thrilled. She planted those last summer.”
“Lacey?”
She looked to me, her eyes puzzled. After a second, the confusion cleared. “Oh right. You probably missed the fact Quinn got married. After he finished med school and his overseas jaunts, he came home. He took a position at a medical clinic in Diamond Creek. Well, it’s more than a position. He’s taking over the whole clinic from the doctor retiring there. I don’t know if you ever met Lacey, but they were friends for years. She used to do those backcountry trips with him. Anyway, they finally got a clue and realized they were perfect for each other. Quinn bought this cabin about a year ago so they’d have a place to stay when they came up to visit mom and me.”
It occurred to me I’d missed a lot of details about friends and family in Willow Brook. I hadn’t had to try too hard. Life as a hotshot firefighter didn’t leave a ton of time to visit. It bothered me to realize I felt as if there was a giant hole in my understanding of Amelia—I’d missed so much time. I beat back my regrets and looked over at her. “Good for Quinn. I think I remember Lacey. She came to visit a few times—hard-core hiker, right?”
Amelia laughed. “That’s one way to describe her. She runs her own guiding business. Quinn helps out a little, but she’s backed off handling most of the trips. She’s got MS and now they have the baby. If you’re here to stay, I’m sure you’ll see them around town. They come up every few months.”
I nodded and figured maybe we could have a normal conversation. That’s all we needed—a little practice acting normal and maybe I’d stop feeling so crazy around her.
“It’d be good to see Quinn. Haven’t seen him in years,” I finally said, realizing as soon as the words left my mouth, everything circled back to Amelia and our ugly break up.
I hadn’t seen Quinn in years because I’d mostly avoided Willow Brook for all of the last seven years. The only thing that got me home was my parents, and I’d kept those visits brief. Silence fell between us again. I scanned the yard, my eyes circling around until I noticed another moose walking down the driveway.
“We’ve got more company.”
Amelia followed my gaze and looked back to me with a sigh. “You can tell no one’s around much. I’m guessing they think we’re in their territory, which I suppose we are.”
She bit her lip, worrying it with her teeth, and blood shot straight to my groin. Hell. She needed to stop doing that. Man, for you to get a grip, she’d have to stop existing. So true and I damn well knew it.
Another glance down the driveway, and I saw our latest visitor was a full-grown bull moose. It wasn’t mating season yet when the bull moose would be at their boldest, but it wouldn’t be wise to stay where we were.
“Come on,” I said, slipping my hand around Amelia’s. “Let’s get inside. We’ve got a better shot at getting past our young buddy over there than playing chicken with this guy.”
Amelia moved at my side without hesitation, her stride long and sure. “Hey moose, we’re coming by!” she called out as we approached the yearling.
The yearling’s head whipped up. However
, it remained in place as we passed by. Amelia never let go of my hand as she opened the door, and we stepped inside the cabin. I didn’t think I could let go. Not just yet. Just the simple feel of her hand held in mine felt so damn good, my pulse was thundering.
I scanned the room we entered. Light fell through the windows on the far wall, which looked out through the spruce trees to a secluded lake. The space was airy and open with a couch and two rocking chairs situated near a woodstove on the back wall. A kitchen with copper pots and pans hanging from a decorative rack was to one side with a low curved island serving as seating. A spiral staircase led upstairs to where I presumed there were bedrooms since the only door down here was to the side of the kitchen.
I glanced to Amelia who hadn’t moved since she’d closed the door behind us. The sun splashing into the room caught in her hair, gilding it with gold. She didn’t even have to try, and I wanted her so fiercely, I could hardly contain the need pounding through me. Seven fucking years, and she still had me in her grip. I’d been so damn foolish to think I could come home and keep my distance.
She stared at me, her honey-amber gaze darkening to cognac. I knew what I saw in her eyes. I could only hope she wanted me as desperately as I wanted her.
My sanity was washed away in the roaring current of need—pure, raw lust was what it was. Her hand was warm in mine. I turned to face her, stroking my thumb in slow passes over her wrist where I could feel her pulse racing. I stepped closer until I was almost flush against her. Her breasts rose and fell against my chest with her ragged breathing. I took a grim satisfaction in knowing she might be as far gone as I was.
I felt driven—driven by years of missing her, by years of empty sex with women who meant next to nothing, and by years of anger and resentment at what we’d lost and to nothing but someone else’s lies. I hung on to the thinnest thread of control as I stood there, my cock hard and my body nearly a slave to my need for her. After a few beats, I took another step, crowding against her. I could feel the fine shudder running through her body.
