Relief flooded Jack’s system. Finally, Sam and Glory would get the protection they deserved. He sat back and rolled his stiff neck and shoulders, cringing as his arm still stung from the bullet graze wound. “I’m listening.”
“We’re going to put more agents on her and limit the information trail.” Zeke sat forward, clasping his hands on the table. “We won’t enter her into the database under her real name this time and I’ll select the people on her team myself. She’ll be as safe as we can possibly make her, Jack. I swear.”
The door to the conference room opened and Sam walked in carrying Glory. The female agent from the gas station followed her inside and closed the door behind them. Sam had stepped out to change and feed the baby. She took a seat at the table a bit apart from Jack, still keeping her distance. His heart yearned to reach out and pull her closer, even though he knew he shouldn’t. Their time together was done. Zeke would take over the security detail from here and Jack would go back to his regular life in Rally. End of story. The fact Sam was pulling away from him was good. Less pain at the end.
No matter how awful it felt now.
“What did I miss?” Sam asked Zeke.
He went over the same information he’d given Jack, leaving out the part about her father wanting her dead. Jack was pretty sure Sam was well aware of that anyway. The thought only made him want to hold her and comfort her all the more.
Jack crossed his arms and forced those urges deep down inside him. He needed to be strong for Sam and their daughter, now more than ever. Turning into a sappy idiot wouldn’t do either of them justice. They deserved better. He’d give it to them, regardless of the emotional cost.
“We need to act fast though,” Zeke said, his gaze darting to Jack. “Before word gets out we captured those rogue agents. I’d like to get Miss Engel and the baby settled in their new safe house by this afternoon.”
“Right, sure.” Jack forced the words out past his constricted vocal cords. He needed to treat this like any other SEAL mission he’d had over the years. Recovery and return. Do his job and move on. The fact he couldn’t seem to keep Sam and Glory in the emotional boxes he needed only reinforced how incapable he’d become. Having Zeke in charge was the best thing for all of them. The weight of Sam’s stare on him burned a hole through the side of his head, but he couldn’t look at her. If he did, she’d see all his hurt and inner conflict in his eyes and he didn’t want to break down in front of all these people, Zeke included. “Can we have a minute to say goodbye?”
“Sure thing, man.” Zeke stood and ushered the other agents from the room. “Let me know when you’re done.”
“Thanks.” Jack waited until the door closed behind his friend before finally meeting Sam’s eyes. In them, he saw wariness and a hint of the same pain searing inside himself. “So, I guess this is goodbye.”
“Yeah.” She lowered her head, resting her chin atop Glory’s head. The baby was staring up at the ceiling, seemingly fascinated with the fluorescent lights. “Thanks for everything. And I’m sorry about all the trouble I’ve put you through.”
“I don’t give a damn about any of that, Sam.” Jack blinked hard against the sting in his eyes. “I’m just glad you’re safe. I’m glad that Glory will be away from this danger and have a chance at a normal life. I’m just sorry I won’t be around to see it.”
His chest squeezed tighter with sorrow. How he’d walk out of here and leave his child behind, he wasn’t sure, but he would. To keep her safe.
After a long moment, where all the things he wanted to say hung heavy in the silence between them, Jack pushed to his feet and walked over to Sam. She stood too and they shared an awkward hug, Glory pressed between them. Then Jack bent and kissed his daughter’s head. They’d had such a short time together, but those days would mean more to him than anything else in this life. He took a deep breath, inhaling her good baby scent, committing it to memory, to comfort him on the long, lonely days ahead. When he straightened, he found Sam watching him, her eyes bright with unshed tears.
Fingertips itching to stroke her cheeks, Jack stepped back before he couldn’t restrain himself anymore. “I’m, uh. I’m going to go. You and Zeke have a lot to get done. I wish you all the best, Sam. Always. And if you ever find yourself in Rally again…”
He let those words trail off because they both knew that was impossible. As long as her father was alive, he and Sam had to stay apart. Any contact between them would blow her cover and he would never want to put them in danger like that again.
Jack cleared his throat and put his hand on the doorknob. The cold metal was a shock against his heated skin. “Goodbye, Sam.”
She met his gaze, her tears flowing freely now. “Goodbye, Jack.”
Then he was out of there, walking down the hall and outside into the fresh air, feeling a gaping black hole in his chest where his heart used to be.
Twenty-Two
“Oh my gosh, baby!” Jillian Williams rushed over to hug her son tight. “I was so worried about you. I’ve been trying to call you for days. Where’ve you been? Did you hear that your cousin George’s cabin burned down?”
Yeah, Jack had heard. Hell, he’d been there. Not that he’d tell his mom that. Instead, he just hugged her tight in return, feeling exhausted to his core. “I’m fine, Mom.”
When she released him at last, he flopped down into one of the chairs at her kitchen table while she fussed around him, getting him coffee and a slice of apple pie that she’d brought home from the diner in town where she worked. He’d not eaten since that morning, but his stomach was still in knots. During the drive back to Rally from Omaha, he’d done nothing but rerun that goodbye with Sam in his mind. The way she’d looked. The way she’d sounded. The haunted, hurt expression on her face.
They’d both known whatever was between them was temporary. So why did it feel like his whole life was a lie now?
“You look like you’ve been ridden hard and put away wet, son,” his mom said, setting the pie and coffee in front of him, then taking a seat beside him at the table. “I stopped by your farm to see you after you didn’t answer my calls and talked to that neighbor of yours who’s watching the place. He said you got called away suddenly. It wasn’t something to do with that SEAL team of yours, was it?”
“No, Ma,” he said around a mouthful of pie. The apples were soft and tart, and the sugar and cinnamon in the mix sparkled on his taste buds, but honestly, he could’ve been eating dirt for all the attention he paid. All he was craving right now was Sam and Glory, but he couldn’t have them. Could never have them again. Everything seemed so pointless and useless and dull. “It wasn’t my SEAL team.”
“What was it then?” She cocked her head to the side, studying her son closely. “Aren’t you hot in that flannel? There’s grease on it too. Best take it off and let me wash it for you while you’re here.”
Jack did as she asked, knowing his mom might be small in stature, but she was big in stubborn. People around Rally thought she was as sweet as the apple pie he was eating, but she had a core of iron. She’d needed it to survive losing his dad, Hank, when Jack had been just a kid.
He slid his arms out of the plaid flannel, then winced as the wound on his arm pulled.
“Jack, what did you do to yourself now?” his mom scolded. “How in the world did you hurt your arm like that? Best let me take a look at that too. Those bandages are soaked through.”
He sipped his coffee and ate his pie while his mom flitted about, starting the washing machine, then fetching her first aid kit. She still treated him like a ten-year-old instead of a seasoned war veteran with hundreds of successful missions under his belt. It was kind of nice for a change.
As she cleaned and rebandaged his wound, her chatter about the town and the latest gossip about the folks living there helped relax him as nothing else could. But as the tension in his muscles eased, the ache in his heart grew. For the last few days, he’d been living on nothing but adrenaline and the rush of the chase. Now, h
e felt burned out and used up in the worst possible way.
“Jack, honey,” his mom said, closing up the first aid kit after she’d finished. “That neighbor of yours, the one watching your place. He said that he found a bunch of tire tracks in your fields. Found some shell casings outside your house too. Want to tell me how you got shot?”
Surprised, he looked over at her.
“I was married to a Marine, honey. I know a bullet wound when I see one.” His mom chuckled, then patted him on the forearm. “Are you in some kind of trouble, son?”
“No.” Unless you counted trouble of the heart. “I can’t really talk about it.”
“I see.” His mom put the first aid kit back in the bathroom, then returned to the kitchen. She refilled his coffee and cleared away his empty plate, then took her seat beside him again. “You know, your father used to share some of his mission details with me back in the day. It was all classified stuff, but he knew I could keep a secret. I still can, son. Not that I want to force you to talk to me, but I’m always here for you. No matter what.”
He knew that, he did. He just didn’t want to put any more people at risk from Stefan Engel’s violence and rage. And he would never jeopardize Sam and Glory’s well-being. But he also needed to get some of his emotions out, needed to share them with someone. Otherwise, he feared they’d eat him up inside until there was nothing left. He couldn’t tell her specifics, but he could talk in generalities.
“There was a woman,” he said, staring down into his cup instead of meeting his mom’s gaze. “We…” He paused. “Well, we were together about a year ago while I was away on a mission. Just one time. Then I ran into her again last week. It’s been a rough couple of days since.”
“Oh, honey. I’m sorry. Did she break your heart?”
“Yeah. But not in the way you think.” He shook his head, still trying to wrap his head around the whole situation. “She’s got problems. Family problems. And a kid.”
My kid. That made him choke up a bit. He swallowed a huge swig of coffee to wash the sadness down. His mom would’ve gone nuts over Glory. She’d been bugging him for years about grandkids. He could just imagine his mom doting on little Glory, dressing her up and parading her around Rally, bragging to all her friends.
“Anyway, she had to leave to take care of these family problems and there’s just no room in her life for me.” He scowled down at the tabletop, picked at the edge with his fingernail. “It was best for us to be apart, so I came home.”
“Huh.” His mom sat back and crossed her arms, frowning. “Interesting. That still doesn’t explain that injury to your arm though. Unless you made her so mad, she shot you.”
Jack chuckled, smiling for the first time since he’d walked out of the marshals’ office earlier that day. Sam was feisty enough to take him to task for anything he might do, but he doubted she’d ever fire a weapon at him. Not that he’d ever get a chance to see her get good and mad—or cranky, or giddy, or anything else, ever again. The reminder smacked him hard upside the head and he inhaled sharply. His mom was still watching him and the weight of the world crashed down on his shoulders. “I love her, Mom. I really love her. And now she’s gone.”
“Aw, honey.” His mom reached over and placed her hand over his, giving it a squeeze. “I’m so sorry. Believe me, I know your pain. After your father died, I thought my life had ended. I wasn’t sure how I’d go on without him.”
“How did you?” Jack asked when the constriction in his throat eased enough that he could. “How did you find the strength to move on?”
“I had to, honey.” His mom gave him a sad little smile. “You were only ten. I had to be strong for you. It wasn’t easy and there were a lot of days when I wanted to quit, but then I’d see you smiling and happy and it made me happy too. Eventually, my grief over your father faded to a dull, sweet ache and life went on. The sadness of losing someone you love never leaves, but maybe that’s a comfort somehow. A reminder of what you had to treasure.”
The agony in his heart didn’t feel like a treasure at the moment. It felt like a razor, slicing deep.
After a moment, his mom said, “Are you sure things can’t be repaired between you and this woman?”
“I’m sure,” Jack said, his tone final. “Like I said, things with her family are complicated.” And dangerous. “I don’t want to risk the new life she’s trying to build by searching for her. I don’t even know where she’s gone and I don’t want to—it’s better for her that way.”
They sat in the quiet for a few minutes, only the sounds of the crickets outside and the breeze rustling through his mom’s wind chimes on the front porch piercing the night.
At last, Jack finished his coffee and stood. Time to go home. Time to face his old life and get on with things. Alone. He thought about that night when he’d told Sam about his dream of raising therapy dogs. Maybe now was the time to seriously look into starting that. He had the time, and he certainly had the space. He rinsed his cup out then put it in the dishwasher before turning back to hug his mom. “Thanks for listening to my woes, Ma. I appreciate it.”
“That’s what family’s for, son,” she said, then kissed his cheek. “Be careful driving home.”
He waved to her from the front porch, then walked down to climb into his beat-up SUV. Thank goodness it was night so all the damage wasn’t visible. He’d have to head out of town and trade that sucker in as soon as possible to avoid any more question about what had happened to him. Last week the thing had been his pride and joy. Now it was barely street-legal, thanks to all the shot-out windows and bullet holes.
As he drove the back roads to his farm, his mom’s words echoed through his head.
That’s what family’s for…
Too bad Sam would never know that same comfort from her own kin. Too bad he’d never be around to provide that for Glory. Too bad Stefan Engel was such a selfish son of a bitch that he had to ruin his daughter’s life and Jack’s future.
Twenty-Three
“Here we are,” Zeke said, escorting Sam into yet another safe house in yet another city she was unfamiliar with. It was the standard fare—plain white walls, plain wood floors, plain suburban neighborhood. The furniture looked secondhand, but at least there was a flat-screen TV in the living room to help her wile away the hours. Honestly, they could’ve been putting her up at Buckingham Palace and she doubted she’d have felt any excitement. Without Jack by her side, the world seemed darker and way duller. But at least her daughter was safe.
“Thank you,” she said as she passed by Zeke. He was taller than Jack by about three inches and rangier. He seemed calm, capable, strong—and he had a whole team backing him up. None of that changed the fact that she’d felt safer with Jack.
Zeke signaled to the agents posted outside the house to grab the bags of supplies they’d bought at a local big box store and bring them inside, then closed the door behind them.
“Anything else I can do for you right now, Miss Engel?” he asked, his Atlanta drawl more pronounced now than it had been back at the marshal’s office in Omaha. He’d taken charge of her security detail himself this time, which was kind of him. Or prudent. Or both, considering how his agency had botched the last attempt at getting her to a secure location.
Glory wailed, and Sam bounced the cranky baby on her shoulder. After days of being so good, her daughter deserved a little cry time. Sam could’ve used some to, in truth, but there’d be the long night ahead for that. When she was alone. Alone without Jack.
Her heart gave a painful tug before she shoved her sorrow aside. The front door opened and the woman in the red hoodie and another man brought in armloads of plastic bags full of food and drinks and baby supplies.
“No, thank you, Deputy Marshal Taylor. I need to get Glory changed and bathed before I can feed her.” She walked over and grabbed one of the bags full of baby stuff with one hand. “Oh, you can point me toward the bathroom.”
“Sure.” Zeke led her down a short hallway
and flipped on the lights. “Bathroom’s here. Then there’s two bedrooms, the kitchen, the living room, and a small patio out back. It’s not super huge, but it should be adequate for your stay here until you testify. There will be a marshal here with you at all times and I’ve got other agents set around the neighborhood to patrol the area. I’ve vetted them all myself. No one’s getting through on my watch.”
“Thanks.” He was a good man, and the fact that Jack trusted him spoke volumes to Sam. She sidled past Zeke and into the bathroom. “I’ll be out in a minute.”
The whole time she got Glory undressed and bathed and changed, Sam couldn’t help rerunning those last moments with Jack in her head. She’d wanted so badly to throw herself into his arms, to beg him to stay with her, but she couldn’t do that to him. It would be hard enough for him to walk away from Glory as it was. He didn’t need her to make it more difficult.
Of course, there was the fact that somehow, in the midst of all this chaos, she’d fallen in love with him too. Not that she’d ever tell him. What would be the point? Most likely, they’d never see each other again, so the best thing to do was move on and forget him. Too bad her heart said otherwise.
By the time Glory was clean and dry and happy again, Sam was fighting back tears.
She and Jack had only been together such a short time, but even so, he’d shown her that there were good people in the world, people who were brave and true. People who didn’t use others for what they could get out of them. People who didn’t use love as a weapon.
Her father did both of those things, and for a long time, Sam had thought that’s the way it was.
The Protective SEAL Page 13
