* * *
Sister Henrietta is full benedetta. She wears the long white robes and everything. She perches on a chair in her office. I’m sitting across from her, twisting my hands nervously in my lap. Sister Henrietta has a clipboard she’s eyeing. It has a sheet I filled out when I got to the free clinic attached to the berserker ward in the city. I left more blanks than I filled in information, however. “You didn’t fill in your name,” she says.
“I thought I could come to these clinics anonymously,” I say. This is the most mortifying thing I’ve ever done.
Sister Henrietta inclines her head. “You can. But what shall I call you? Can’t you give me a first name at least?”
“Gianna,” I say. I don’t know why I give her my mother’s name instead of mine. It’s just important that no one ever find out I was here today.
“Okay, Gianna.” She sets down the clipboard. “So you haven’t had a transformation yet.”
Yet? She makes it sound like an inevitability. “No. I don’t know if I will.”
“You had intercourse with a man who is a berserker, right?”
“Not intercourse exactly.” I fiddle with the edge of my shirt and feel my face heat up. “We didn’t really...” I make a gesture with my hands, trying to demonstrate, but it makes me feel even more embarrassed. “But he was, like, almost there.”
“So there wasn’t penetration?” she asks.
God. Why couldn’t I think of a nice clinical way to put it? “No.”
“Mmm hmm,” she says. “And was there ejaculation?”
I cringe. “No. That didn’t happen either. He sort of changed into a berserker before we got that far.”
“But you’re concerned that you might be infected with the berserker virus?”
“Well, it’ll be a month ago on Friday. And I know it takes a month before you transform for the first time. I just wanted to know if there were any kind of symptoms I’d be having now if I did get the virus.”
“The virus is entirely asymptomatic except for the transformation into a berserker. Once the transformation has happened the first time, there are herbs and spells we can do to halt its growth, but unless you’d transformed, we’d have no way of knowing you had the virus.”
That’s not good. I nod. “Okay, well, I guess I just wait.”
“Honestly, Gianna, I think it’s quite unlikely you’ve contracted the virus. It’s not often spread sexually, despite what you might think. Because the virus is magic, it infects humans in a way quite different than biological viruses do. When humans have magical abilities, they have them through their souls. If you don’t like that term, some people also call it aura or energy. Whatever spiritual component makes us human, that’s where magic comes from. When the virus infects us, it infects our souls or our auras. The reason it’s transmittable sexually is that when humans reach orgasm, our souls are more prominent. It’s a peak kind of experience that lays us bare in many ways. If two people have intercourse, one is infected, and both reach orgasm around the same time, the berserker virus can jump from one aura to another, infecting the other person. It doesn’t happen otherwise.”
“So...you don’t think that I have it?”
“Honestly, I don’t. I think it would be a good idea to lie low on Friday, in case you’re not exactly clear on the actual events that occurred when you were involved with the infected man. Sometimes girls your age aren’t exactly sure what orgasms are. There was no penetration, but if both of you reached orgasm, then you could have still contracted the virus.”
I’m pretty sure my face is blood red.
She reaches behind her desk and gets a threefold brochure. “Here’s this pamphlet on female sexuality and orgasm. You might find it helpful. It’s good to be knowledgeable about your own body.”
I take the pamphlet, still feeling extremely embarrassed. “I know what an orgasm is,” I mutter. I hope she doesn’t pursue this any further. There are some things I’m not going to discuss with anyone, even benedette who treat people with the berserker virus on a daily basis.
“Good,” she says, smiling.
Does she know what an orgasm is? Benedette, if they’re wearing robes anyway, are all celibate. They can leave the order to get married, but once they do, they’re not considered full-fledged benedette anymore. But then, of course, it’s not like you can’t have orgasms even if you’ve never had sex. I guess I’m admitting that to her right now. I blush even more fiercely. I so do not want to think about this anymore.
“Are you still seeing this man? The one who’s infected?”
“Um...” I trail off. “Not exactly.” I think of Brice and me on my bed the other night, his hands inside my robe. “Kind of.”
“Well,” she says, “since the virus isn’t necessarily transmitted through intercourse, we recommend that young people like yourself abstain entirely from any kind of sexual contact, which is, incidentally, God’s plan for your body until you get married. It can be difficult, but God tests the faithful to let them prove their worthiness.”
“We’re not doing anything,” I mumble. Not exactly, anyway. Maybe we do need to be more careful.
“Good. See that you don’t. Many things can provide temptation. I have a pamphlet back here somewhere on chaste kissing.” She searches behind her desk again.
Chaste kissing?! Is she serious?
She hands me the pamphlet.
I barely glance at it. “Thanks.” I chew on my lip. “So, say you were married to someone who became a berserker. Would that mean that the two of you could never...be intimate?”
Sister Henrietta nods sadly. “Essentially. Some couples find that they can still have intercourse, but they have to stop before they reach orgasm and separate themselves for a period of time during that process, but we don’t recommend that practice here. It’s far too unpredictable to be reliable as a method, and honestly, most couples who try it are only successful in infecting their spouses.” She sighs. “It’s a sad consequence of using magic improperly the way the jettatori families do.”
That’s...horrible. So there’s no way that I could ever be with Brice like that. Ever. Is it even possible for a relationship to work in that case? I tuck the pamphlets Sister Henrietta has given me into my pocket and stand up. “Well, thanks, you’ve been very helpful.”
She stands too. “Of course. I hope you’ll be fine, Gianna.”
I start for the door to her office. My hand on the knob, I pause. “I wondered if I could ask another question.”
“Certainly.”
“I’ve heard that there’s a new strain of berserker virus, one that doesn’t respond well to benedetta magic.”
“Well, I don’t know if it’s a new strain or not,” Sister Henrietta laughs.”But yes, there are sometimes a few who don’t respond.”
“What do you do with them? Do they have to be killed if they’ve reached the point where they’re berserkers all the time?”
“Actually,” says Sister Henrietta, “we send them to a different facility. It’s called the Calabrese Center. They specialize in difficult cases.”
I feel cold all over. “The Calabrese Center? Do you know where it’s located?”
She shrugs. “Off hand, I don’t. We communicate with them by phone primarily, I think. I imagine it’s away from the city if you’re concerned about the berserkers getting out. They’re very professional. They come by to pick up any stragglers we might have on Friday nights, a little after midnight. Until then, we do our best to keep them sedated, so they’re perfectly safe.”
Calabrese Center? My last name? It can’t be a coincidence, can it? “They pick them up here? On Friday nights?”
She nods. “That’s right. Why all the questions, Gianna?”
I shrug. “No reason.” Friday night is the night I might, but probably won’t, turn into a berserker. Can I risk coming here to try to see the Calabrese Center pick up in action?
Chapter Thirteen
From what Si
ster Henrietta told me, I’m pretty sure I don’t have the berserker virus. I know I didn’t have anything close to an orgasm in the dugout. And I’m pretty sure Brice didn’t either. But to be certain, I call Brice and have the most embarrassing conversation in the history of the world with him about it. When we finish stammering and trailing off with each other, I know that he didn’t have one either. So I think I’m just going to risk it. But maybe I shouldn’t be alone on the slight chance that I change.
I can’t bring Brice with me, because it’s after midnight, and he’ll be a berserker. I want someone to come with me who could handle me anyway. Someone strong enough to restrain me. I muse over this, not coming up with any ideas, until I go to the deli the next day to see the guys. It’s in good shape now. You’d never know Vincent and his guys came in here and tore the place apart.
Tommy’s in the back having a beer. That’s when it comes to me. I should ask Tommy to come with me. Tommy could restrain me if I went nuts. He’s good in a fight. But if I explain to Tommy what I’m doing, then he’ll know that I’m hunting up information on what my dad’s up to. He might not take that the best way. Still, I think I can trust Tommy. He’s always been good to me. He’s looked out for me and given me good advice.
I decide to tread carefully before coming right out and explaining the whole thing. I sit down with him. “So I might have something I need to look into on Friday night. I’d like to have you around for it.”
Tommy sets down his beer. “What do you want to look into?”
“I’m not sure yet,” I say, not wanting to give too much away. “I think it might be trouble for the family, though, and I want to see what it is before I decide if anything needs to be done about it.”
“Trouble?” Tommy looks worried.
“Maybe,” I say.
“What kind of trouble?”
“Trouble that has to do with berserkers,” I say vaguely, trying to tread water longer. I get a burst of insight. “You know, because Vincent was killed by them and everything. I think there might be something strange going on.”
Tommy picks up his beer again. He doesn’t look worried anymore. “There’s nothing going on with berserkers.”
“Well, I hope you’re right. Still, it couldn’t hurt to look into it, right?”
Tommy takes a swig of beer. “Can we do it a different night besides Friday?”
“What’s wrong with Friday?”
“I’ve got something to do for your father on Friday night.”
Now that doesn’t make any sense. “How is my father giving you jobs? He’s locked up for God’s sake.”
Tommy shrugs. “He’s the boss, Olivia. He has his ways.”
“So what’s the job?”
Tommy takes another drink of beer. “Well, I don’t mean any disrespect, Olivia, but I figure if your father wanted you to know about it, he’d tell you himself.”
This doesn’t sound good. Is Tommy connected to whatever weird, underhanded things my dad is doing? “I’m the boss on the outside, Tommy. You have to tell me what’s going on. How am I supposed to run this family if I don’t have any idea what we’re doing?”
“Look, talk to your dad, then. All I know is that this job that I do for him is top secret. I’m not supposed to talk about it.”
“Even to me?”
Tommy shrugs. “It’s probably fine to tell you. I don’t know. Talk to your father.”
I do not believe this. “Tommy, I order you to tell me what the job is.”
Tommy finishes his beer in one swallow. He gets up. “I’m not trying to be an ass or anything. I just can’t talk about it. Your father’s word overrides everything, including you. I’m sorry.”
I don’t like this at all. Not one bit. I’m starting to get even more suspicious about this whole thing. If my father is giving people jobs that I don’t know a thing about, then am I really even running this family at all? If he can give Tommy hush-hush orders, then things are not only going through me. My father claimed that when I met him each week, I’d be the only way he communicated with the family. Clearly, that’s a lie. So what the hell is going on here?
I don’t say goodbye to Tommy, I just leave, feeling angry. I don’t want to be kept in the dark like this. I won’t be kept in the dark. I wanted to work out some of our theater district infiltration strategy today, but now I’m too angry to think. I take the ferry into the city and head to the jail. It’s not the day that I’m supposed to visit my father, but I’m going to see him anyway. Tommy said to ask my father. Okay, fine. I’ll ask my father. Maybe I’ll ask him a lot of things.
The Toil and Trouble Trilogy, Book One Page 35
