Melissa nodded pensively and sat down at the kitchen table. “But it won't be the same anymore, will it?”
“Maybe not. But maybe different won't be so bad. Maybe one day, when we get through this, it'll be better.”
“Everything was so good before though.” She looked up at him and he nodded. At least they had made contact again, at least something was going right. He turned to look at his son then. “What about you? What's happening with you, Benjamin?” Oliver could sense that there was a lot going on, but nothing his son was going to tell him. And that was new for him too. He had always been so easy and so open.
“Nothing much.” And then, looking awkward, “I'd better get to bed now.” He turned to leave the room, and Oliver wanted to reach out and stop him.
“Benjamin …” The boy stopped. Oliver had sensed something. “Is something wrong? Do you want to talk to me alone before you go to bed?” He hesitated, and then shook his head.
“No, thanks, Dad. I'm fine.” And then, anxiously, “Am I still grounded?”
Oliver didn't hesitate for a beat. It was important that they all understand he was in control now, or they'd all go wild. And for their own good, he couldn't let that happen. “Yes, you are, Son. I'm sorry. In by dinner every night, weekends included. For a month. I warned you before.” He was unbending, but his eyes told Benjamin that he was doing it because he loved him.
Benjamin nodded and left the room, and neither of them knew the sense of desperation Oliver had just created. He had to be with her at night … had to … she needed him. And he needed her too. He didn't know how they were going to survive it.
Oliver looked at Melissa after Benjamin left, and walked slowly over to where she sat and bent to kiss her. “I love you, sweetheart. I really do. I think we all need to be patient right now. Things are bound to get better.”
She nodded slowly, looking up at her father. She knew more about Benjamin than she was willing to tell. She had seen him a thousand times with Sandra, and she also knew he was cutting classes. Word got around quickly in their school, even between sophomores and seniors. And she suspected how serious he was about the girl, serious enough to defy their father.
Sam didn't stir that night, as Oliver slept beside him, and in the morning the fever was gone, and everyone seemed calmer as he left for work with a lighter heart.
He was sorry for having had to ground Benjamin, but it was for his own good, and he thought that Benjamin could understand that. The breakthrough with Mel had been worth the agonies of the night before, and suddenly as he got to work, and found a message on his desk, he remembered his invitation to Daphne the night before, to come out on Sunday, and for the first time in a month, he was excited at the prospect of the weekend.
Chapter 7
Daphne came out on the train on Sunday, and he picked her up and brought her back to the house, as they chatted on the way about the children. Mel had been friendlier to him all week, Sam still had a little cold, and Benjamin had barely spoken to him since Oliver had told him he was grounded. But he was respecting the rules finally. He was in every night by dinnertime, and in his room the moment after.
“I warn you, they're not an easy group these days, but they're good kids.” He smiled at her, glad she had come out. Sarah hadn't called in days, and they were all feeling the strain of her silence, particularly Ollie.
“I'll try to let them know I'm no threat.” Daphne smiled at him again, she was wearing beautifully cut black leather pants and a fur jacket.
“What makes you say that?” He wasn't sure why, but she seemed to want him to know that she had no romantic interest whatsoever.
“I say that because I like to keep things straight, and honest.”
“Is there some reason why you're not interested in men?” He tried to sound casual, and he certainly had no immediate interest in her, but it might be nice to go out with her one day. She had a lot to offer any man, brains, looks, charm, wit. He really liked her. “I know you make a point of never dating anyone at the office.”
“That's because I learned my lesson a long time ago. The hard way.” She decided to tell him. She wanted to, maybe because she also found him attractive. “Three years into my first job, after I graduated from Smith, I fell in love with the chairman of the board of the ad agency I worked for.” She smiled quietly and he whistled as he looked at her.
“You don't mess around, do you?”
“He was one of the most exciting men in advertising. He still is. He was forty-six years old then. Married, with two kids. He lived in Greenwich. And he was Catholic.”
“No divorce.”
“Very good. You win the prize: two hundred dollars.” She didn't sound bitter about it, just matter-of-fact. She wanted Oliver to know about it, although she never told anyone. There were those who knew, and most people didn't. “Actually, his family owned the firm. He's a terrific man. And I fell head over heels in love, and told myself it didn't matter that he was married.” She stopped and watched the countryside as though remembering, and Oliver urged her on. He wanted to know the rest, what the guy had done to her to make her so gun-shy about men. It seemed a shame to waste her life alone, although she clearly didn't seem unhappy.
“And? How long did it last? What happened?”
“We had a great time. We traveled. We met on Tuesday and Thursday nights, in an apartment he kept in town. It doesn't sound very nice, but I guess you could say I became his mistress. And eventually, he canned me.
“Charming.”
“He figured that someone would find out, and a few did, but most didn't. We were very discreet. And he was always honest with me. He loved his wife, and his kids, they were still little then. His wife was only a few years older than I was. But he loved me too. And I loved him. And I was willing to accept what little he could give me.” She didn't look angry as'she spoke about him and Ollie was surprised at how calm she was about it. “How long has it been since you've seen him?” She laughed as she looked at him. “Three days. He got me another job. We have an apartment. We spend three nights a week together now, and that's all it will ever be. It's been thirteen years in March, and it may sound crazy to you, but I'm happy, and I love him.” She looked perfectly content and Oliver was stunned. She was involved with a married man, and seemed perfectly happy about it.
“Are you serious? You don't mind, Daph? “
“Of course I do. The kids are in college now. And his wife is busy with the garden club and about sixteen charities. I guess there's something about their life he likes, because he's never wavered for a minute. I know he'll never leave her.”
“But that's a stinking deal for you. You deserve more than that.”
“Who says? If I married someone else, we could wind up divorced, or unhappy. There are no guarantees with anyone. I used to think I wanted kids, but I had a problem five years ago, and now I can't anyway. I guess this is enough for me. Maybe I'm strange, or abnormal, but it works for us. And that, my friend, is the story of me. I thought you ought to know.” She smiled gently at him. “Because I like you.”
“I like you too.” He grinned sheepishly. “I think you've just broken my heart.” But in a way, he was relieved. It took the pressure off him, too, and now they could really be friends. “Do you think he'll ever leave his wife?”
“I doubt it. I'm not even sure I'd marry him if he did. We're comfortable like this. I have my own life, my career, my friends, and him. It just gets a little rough sometimes on holidays and weekends. But maybe what we have is more precious to us because we know its limitations.” She was even wiser than he'd thought, and he admired her, for her honesty as much as the rest.
“I wish I could be as philosophical as you are.”
“Maybe you will be one day.” He wondered if he could ever be satisfied with two days a week with Sarah. He didn't think so. He wanted so much more than that. He wanted what he had had with her before, and it didn't look as though he was going to get it.
He pulled up
in front of the house, and turned to face her. “Thank you for telling me.” And he really meant it.
“I trust you.” It was her way of asking him not to share her secret, but she already knew he wouldn't. “I thought you ought to know. I didn't want your kids to worry about us.”
“Great.” He grinned. “What should I tell them when I introduce you? Hey, kids, it's okay, she's involved with a married man and she loves him.” His face sobered then, and his eyes were gentle. “You're a terrific woman, Daph. If there's anything I can ever do for you, if you need a friend … just yell. …”
“Don't worry. I will. Sometimes it gets pretty lonely. But you learn to fend for yourself, not to reach for the phone at night, not to call him when you think you have appendicitis. You call friends, you learn to take care of yourself. I think it's been good for me.”
He shook his head. “I don't think I'll ever be that grown up.” At forty-four, he still expected Sarah to take care of him if he had a headache.
“Don't worry about it. I'm probably just crazy. My parents think I am anyway.”
“Do they know?” He was amazed. They were obviously very liberal.
“I told them years ago. My mother cried for months, but now they're used to it. Thank God my brother has six children. That took the heat off me.” They both laughed then and got out of the car, and Andy instantly leapt all over the leather pants, but she didn't seem to mind it.
When they walked into the house, Sam was watching TV, and Mel was doing something in the kitchen with Agnes, and Oliver ushered Daphne in, and introduced her to Sam. She looked casual and at ease, and Sam looked her over with interest.
“You work with my dad?”
“I sure do. And I've got a nephew your age. He watches wrestling too.” She seemed to be up-to-date on the rages popular with nine-year-olds, and Sam nodded his approval. She was okay.
“My dad took me to a match last year. It was great.”
“I took Sean once too. He loved it. I thought it was pretty awful.” Sam laughed at her, and Melissa emerged slowly from the kitchen, and Oliver introduced her.
“Daphne Hutchinson, my daughter, Melissa.” They shook hands properly, and Agnes quietly disappeared, wondering if he was already going out with other women. Things had certainly changed around here, but after what Mrs. Watson had done, she could hardly blame him. He needed a wife, and if she was too foolish to hang on to a good thing, then someone else deserved her good fortune.
The two ladies chatted easily, and Ollie could see that Melissa was carefully looking her over. She approved of the leather pants, the shining hair, the fur jacket, and the black Hermes bag, hanging casually from her shoulder. Daphne was very chic on her own time, too, and now Oliver understood why. There was a certain aura that came from an older man buying gifts for her, and introducing her to the finer things. Even her jewelry was too expensive for most single women. The story Daphne had told him still amazed him. But it was interesting too. But it was as though Melissa sensed that this woman was no threat, that there was nothing except friendship between her and her father. She had eyed her carefully at first, and the messages Daphne had sent out were only of friendship and nonsexual interest.
“Where's Benjamin?” Ollie asked finally.
“Out, I guess.” Mel answered. “What do you expect?” She shrugged and grinned at Daphne.
“I have an older brother too. I hated him for about eighteen years. He's improved a lot, though, with old age.” He was exactly the same age as Oliver now, which may have been part of why she liked him.
The four of them sat and talked for hours in the cozy living room, and eventually went for a walk with Andy, and just before dinnertime, Benjamin came home, looking rumpled and distracted. He had gone to play touch football with friends allegedly, but as always, he had wound up at Sandra's. Her parents were separated now too and it made things, easier for them. Her mother was never home, and her father had moved to Philadelphia.
Benjamin was cool with Daphne when they met, and barely spoke to any of them on the way to dinner. They went to the Italian restaurant Oliver had told her about, and they had a good time, laughing and talking and telling jokes, and finally even Benjamin warmed up, although he cast frequent inquiring looks at his father and Daphne.
They went back to the house for the dessert Agnes had promised to prepare for them, and Andy was lying in front of the fireplace as they ate apple pie k la mode and homemade cookies. It had been a perfect day, the first they'd had in a long time, and they all looked happy.
The phone rang as they were listening to Sam tell ghost stories, and Oliver went to answer. It was his father, and the others could only hear Ollie's half of the conversation.
“Yes … all right, Dad … slow down … where is she? Are you all right? … I'll be right over…. Stay there. I'll pick you up. I don't want you driving home alone. You can leave the car there and pick it up tomorrow.” He hung up, with a frantic air, and the children looked frightened, and he was quick to reassure them, although as he set down the phone, his own hands were shaking. “It's all right. It's Grandma. She had a little accident. She took the car out alone, and hit a neighbor. No one's badly hurt. She's just shaken up, and they're going to keep her in the hospital tonight, just to watch her. Grandpa's just upset. Fortunately the guy she hit was quick, and jumped onto the hood of the car, all he got was a broken ankle. It could have been a lot worse for both of them.”
“I thought she wasn't supposed to drive anymore,” Melissa said, still looking worried.
“She isn't. Grandpa was in the garage, putting away some tools, and she decided to do an errand.” He didn't tell them that she had told the doctor she'd been going to pick her son up at school, and his father had been crying when he called him. The doctors had just told him that they felt it was time to put her in a home where she could have constant supervision. “I hate to do this,” he said, looking at Daphne, “but I've got to go over there to see him. I think he's probably more shaken up than she is. Do you want me to drop you off at the station on the way?” The train wasn't due for another hour, but he didn't want to leave her stranded.
“I can take a cab. You just go.” She looked at the three young faces around her. “I can stay here with the children, if they'll have me.” Mel and Sam looked thrilled, and Benjamin said nothing.
“That would be great.” He smiled at her, and instructed Mel to call a cab at nine-fifteen. It would get her to the station in plenty of time to catch the nine-thirty. “Benjamin can even drive you.”
“A cab will be fine. I'm sure Benjamin has better things to do with his time than drive old ladies to the station.” She had sensed his reticence and didn't want to impose on him. And a moment later, Oliver left, and Benjamin disappeared to his own quarters, leaving her and the two younger children alone.
Sam went to get more pie, and Mel ran upstairs to get the script for the play to show her. Agnes had gone to bed, as she was wont to do, right after cleaning up the kitchen, and Daphne was alone in the living room when the phone rang, and rang and rang, and nervously she looked around, and finally decided to answer, fearing that it might be Ollie, and he would worry if he got no answer. Maybe he had forgotten something. In any case, she picked it up, and there was a sudden silence on the other end, and then a female voice that asked for Ollie.
“I'm sorry, he's out. May I take a message?” She sounded businesslike, and all her instincts told her it was Sarah. And she was right.
“Are the children there?” She sounded annoyed.
“Certainly. Would you like me to get them?”
“I … yes …” And then, “Excuse me, but who are you?”
Daphne didn't miss a beat as Mel walked into the room and Daphne spoke into the phone. “The babysitter. I'll let you speak to Melissa now' She handed the phone to Mel with a gentle smile, and then walked into the kitchen to see how Sam was doing. He was butchering the pie and dropping big gobs of apple into his mouth, while attempting to cut another piec
e for Daphne. “Your mom's on the phone, I think. She's talking to Mel.”
“She is?” He looked startled and dropped what he was doing to run into the other room as Daphne watched him. And it was a full ten minutes before they returned, looking subdued, and Daphne ached for them. She could see in their eyes how desperately they missed her and Sam was wiping his eyes on his sleeve. He had obviously been crying. And Melissa looked sobered by the conversation too.
“More pie for anyone?” Daphne wanted to distract them, but wasn't sure how, as Mel looked at her with questioning eyes.
“Why did you tell her you were the sitter?”
Daphne looked her square in the eye, honest with her, as she had been with Ollie. “Because I didn't want to upset her. Your dad and I are just friends, Mel. There's someone in my life I love very much, and your dad and I will never be more than friends. There was no point upsetting your mother, or causing a misunderstanding between them. Things are hard enough for all of you right now as they are, without my adding to the trouble.”
Mel nodded at her, silently grateful. “She said she's not coming home next weekend 'cause she has a paper to write.” And as she said the words, Sam started to cry softly. And without thinking, Daphne pulled him close to her and held him. She had defused any fears they might have had by telling them about the man she loved, and she was glad she had, and gladder still she had told Ollie before. These were not people to hurt, but to love and nurture. And it made her angry knowing that their own mother had left them.
“Maybe it's too painful for her to come back just yet' She was trying to be fair, but Mel looked angry.
“Then why can't we go and see her?” Sam asked reasonably.
“I don't know, Sam.” Daphne wiped his tears, and the three of them sat down at the kitchen table, their appetite gone, the apple pie forgotten.
“She says her apartment is not ready yet and there's no place for us to sleep, but that's stupid.” He stopped crying, and the three of them talked, and nine-fifteen passed without their notice.
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