“I don't think you're crazy, and I think it'll be fine. Just don't expect them to jump up and down and tell you what a great idea it is. It'll scare them at first, no matter how easy you try to make it for them. Give them time to adjust.”
“I know. That's what I was just thinking.”
But he was in no way prepared for the violence of their reactions. He told them the next day, when they came home from their vacation with Sarah. He picked them up at the airport and drove them into town, telling them he had a surprise for them, but refusing to tell them what it was. They were in high spirits as they drove in, telling him everything they'd done, and seen, and how good the skiing had been with their mother. But for once, it didn't upset him. He was suddenly excited about what he was going to show them in New York.
“Are we going to see Daphne, Dad?” It was Melissa asking him and he only shook his head and continued driving. He had told Agnes that morning, and she'd been startled, but she'd agreed to come. She didn't mind moving to New York with them, as long as she was with the children.
They drove up in front of the building and he found a parking place, and escorted them in, as they looked around in curiosity.
“Who lives here, Dad?” Sam wanted to know, and Ollie shook his head, walked into the elevator, and asked for seven.
“Yes, sir.” The elevator man smiled. The doorman had recognized him at once when he let them in. They were the new tenants m 7H, which was why he hadn't asked them where they were going.
Oliver stood in front of the apartment and pressed the bell, and when no one answered, he shrugged his shoulders, and took the key out of his pocket, opened the door, and swung it wide for his children, as they stood watching him with startled eyes, wondering if he'd gone crazy.
“Come on in, you guys.”
“Whose apartment is this?” Mel was whispering and afraid to go in, but Sam wandered right in and looked around. There was no one home, and he signaled to the others to join him.
And then suddenly, Benjamin understood, and he looked worried as he walked in. But Mel began exclaiming over how pretty the antiques were.
“I'm glad you like it, sweetheart.” Ollie smiled. “These are our new New York digs. How do you like them?”
“Wow!” She looked thrilled. “When are we going to use this, Daddy?” They had never had an apartment in New York before, and suddenly Sam looked worried.
“Aren't you going to come home during the week anymore, Dad?”
“Of course I am. A lot earlier than before too. We're all going to live here until the end of the school year, and then we'll come back again in September.” He was trying to make it sound like an adventure to them, but it was suddenly sinking in, and they all looked frightened.
“You mean we're moving here?” Mel looked horrified. “What about our friends?”
“You can see them on weekends, and in the summer. And if we hate it, we won't come back next year. But I think we ought to at least try it.”
“You mean I have to change schools now?” She couldn't believe what he was saying. And there was no hiding the truth from her. He nodded his head, and looked at all their faces. Sam looked stunned, and Mel sat down in a chair and started to cry. Benjamin said nothing at all, but his face hardened into a block of ice as he looked at his father. He knew it was partially due to him, but that did nothing to mitigate his anger. He had no right to do this to them, no right at all. It was bad enough that their mother had gone, but now they had to change schools, and move to New York. Suddenly, everything was going to be different. But that was just exactly what Oliver wanted. Especially for him, and Benjamin knew it.
“Come on, guys, it'll be fun. Think of it as a whole exciting new life.”
“What about Aggie?” Sam looked suddenly doubly worried. He didn't want to lose anyone else he loved, but his father was quick to reassure him.
“She's coming too.”
“And Andy?”
“He can come, too, as long as he behaves. If he chews up all the furniture, we'll have to leave him with Grandpa and pick him up on weekends.”
“He'll be good. I swear.” Sam's eyes were wide, but at least he wasn't crying. “Can I see my room?”
“Sure.” Ollie was pleased. At least Sam was trying, even if the older ones weren't. Melissa was still playing Camille, and Benjamin was staring sullenly out the window. “It doesn't look like much now, but when we bring some of your stuff in it'll look great.” Fortunately the man who owned the apartment had two sons and a daughter, and there were two masculine-looking rooms, and a pink one. But Melissa refused to even come and see it. It was twice the size of her room at home, and much more sophisticated than what she was used to. And Sam reported on it to her when he returned to the living room.
“It's okay, Mel … it's pink … you'll like it …”
“I don't care. I'm not moving here. I'll stay with Carole or Debbie.”
“No, you won't.” Oliver's voice was quiet and firm. “You'll move here with the rest of us. And I've gotten you into an excellent school. I know it's a tough change, but it's for the best right now, really, Mel, believe me.”
Benjamin suddenly wheeled on them then as his father finished speaking. “What he's saying is that he wants to keep an eye on me at close range, and he wants to keep me away from Sandra. What about weekends, Dad? Is she off-limits then too?” His voice was bitter and angry.
“She's off-limits until your grades improve. I told you, I'm not fooling around with you. All your chances for a decent college are about to go right out the window.”
“I don't care about that. It doesn't mean anything.”
“It meant a lot to you when you sent in your applications, or had you forgotten?”
“Things have changed a lot since then,” he muttered darkly, and walked back to the window.
“Well, has everyone seen as much as they want to?” Oliver managed in spite of all of it to sound cheerful, but only Sam was willing to go along with it.
“Is there a backyard?”
Oliver smiled at him. “Not exactly. There's Central Park two blocks away. That ought to do in a pinch.” Sam nodded in agreement. “Shall we go?” Melissa hurried to the door, and Benjamin followed more slowly, looking pensive. And it was a quiet drive back to Purchase, all of them lost in their own thoughts, and only Sam occasionally asking questions.
Agnes had dinner waiting for them at home, and Sam told her all about the apartment. “I can play ball in Central Park … and I've got a pretty big room … and we're coming back here as soon as school gets out, for the summer. What's my school called, Dad?”
“Collegiate.”
“Collegiate,” he repeated, as Aggie listened intently, and kept an eye on the two others. Neither Benjamin nor Mel had said a word since they'd sat down at the table. “When are we moving again?”
“Next weekend.” As he said the words, Melissa collapsed into a flood of tears again, and a few minutes later, Benjamin left the table. He quietly took the car keys from the hall table, and without saying a word, a moment later, he drove away, as Oliver watched him.
Mel never emerged from her room again that night, and the door was locked when he tried it. Only Sam was pleased about the move. To him it was something new and exciting. And after putting him to bed, Oliver went back downstairs to wait for Benjamin to come home. They were going to have a serious talk about his acts of defiance.
He didn't come home until 2:00 A.M., and Ollie was still waiting for him, getting more and more worried. And at last, he heard the crunch of the gravel in the driveway and the car stop outside. The door opened quietly, and Oliver walked out into the hall to meet him.
“Do you want to come out to the kitchen and talk?” It was a purely rhetorical question.
“There's nothing to talk about.”
“There seems to be a lot, enough to keep you out till two A.M., or is that another kind of conversation?” He led the way to the kitchen without waiting for an answer, and pulled ou
t two chairs, but it was a moment before Benjamin sat down, and it was obvious he didn't want to. “What's going on, Benjamin?”
“Nothing I want to talk about with you.” Suddenly they were enemies. It had happened overnight, but it was no less disappointing or painful.
“Why are you so angry with me? Because of Mom? Do you still blame that on me?”
“That's your business. What I do is mine. I don't like you telling me what to do. I'm too old for that.”
“You're seventeen years old, you're not a grown-up yet, even if you'd like to be. And you can't go on breaking all the rules, sooner or later you're going to pay a hell of a price for it. There are always rules in life, whether you like them or not. Right now, you may not even get into college.”
“Fuck college.” His words startled Ollie.
“What's that all about?”
“I have more important things to think about.” For a moment, Oliver wondered if he was drunk, but he didn't appear to be, and Ollie suspected he wasn't.
“Like what? That girl? … Sandra Carter? At your age, that's a passing thing, Benjamin. And if it isn't, you're going to have to wait a long time before you can do anything about it. You've got to finish school, go to college, get a job, make a living to support a wife and kids. You've got a long road ahead of you, and you'd better stay on track now or you're going to be in deep shit before you know it.” Benjamin seemed to sag a little as he listened, and then he looked up at his father.
“I'm not moving to New York with you. I won't.”
“You have no choice. You have to. I'm closing the house here, except for weekends. And I won't let you live here alone, it's as simple as that. And if you want to know the truth, we're moving there partly because of you, so you can get your act together before it's too late, and I can spend more time with all of you in the evenings.”
“It's too late for that now. And I'm not going.”
“Why not?” There was an endless silence in the room while Oliver waited. And then, finally, the boy answered.
“I can't leave Sandra.”
“Why not? What if I let you see her on weekends?”
“Her mom's moving to California, and she won't have anywhere to stay.” Oliver almost groaned at the picture he was painting.
“Isn't Sandra going with her?”
“They don't get along. And she hates her dad. She won't go to Philadelphia to live with him either.”
“So what's she going to do?”
“Drop out of school and get a job and stay here, but I don't want to leave her alone.”
“That's noble of you. But she sounds very independent.”
“She isn't. She needs me.” It was the first time he had opened up and talked about her, and Oliver was touched, but also frightened by what he was hearing. She didn't sound like the kind of girl anyone should be involved with. She sounded like trouble. “I can't leave her, Dad.”
“You're going to have to leave her in the fall when you go to college anyway. You might as well deal with it now, before it becomes an even bigger problem.” But Benjamin only smiled at the irony of his words.
“I can't go.” He was adamant and Oliver was suddenly confused.
“To college or New York?” This really was a new one.
“Either one.” Benjamin looked stubborn and almost desperate.
“But why?” There was another long silence, and finally Benjamin looked up at him, and decided to tell him all of it. He had carried it alone for long enough, and if his father wanted to know so badly, then he would tell him.
“Because she's pregnant.”
“Oh my God … oh my God … why the hell didn't you tell me?”
“I don't know … I didn't think you'd want to know … and anyway, it's my problem.” He hung his head, feeling the full burden of it, as he had for months.
“Is that why her mother is leaving her and going to California?”
“In part. But they also don't get along, and her mother has a new boyfriend.”
“And what does she think about her daughter being pregnant?”
“She figures it's Sandra's problem, not hers. She told her to get an abortion.”
“And? … will she?”
Benjamin shook his head, and looked at his father with everything he believed in, in his eyes, his heart on his sleeve, and the values of his father. “I wouldn't let her.”
“For God's sake, Benjamin …” Oliver got up and began to pace the kitchen. “You wouldn't let her? Why not? What on earth is a seventeen-year-old girl going to do with a baby? Or is she willing to give it up for adoption?”
Benjamin shook his head again. “She says she wants to keep it.”
“Benjamn please make sense. You're ruining three lives, not just one. Get the girl to have an abortion.”
“She can't.”
“Why not?”
“She's four months pregnant.”
He sat down again with a thud. “What a mess you've gotten yourself into, no wonder you're cutting classes and flunking out, but I've got news for you, we'll wade through this mess together, but you're moving to New York with me next week, come hell or high water.”
“Dad, I already told you.” Benjamin stood up, looking impatient. “I'm not going to leave her. She's alone and pregnant, and that's my kid she's carrying around.
I care about her, and the baby.” And then suddenly, his eyes filled with tears, he was tired, and drained, and he didn't want to argue anymore, things were tough enough for him without taking on his father too. “Daddy, I love her … please don't interfere in this.” Benjamin didn't tell him he'd offered to marry the girl, but Sandra thought marriage was dumb. She didn't want to end up divorced like her parents.
Oliver went to him and put an arm around him. “You have to be sensible … you have to do the right things … for both of you. And throwing your life away isn't going to help anybody. Where is she living now?” A thousand possibilities were running through Ollie's mind as they spoke, and one of them was paying for her upkeep in a home for unwed mothers.
“At home, but she's moving into an apartment in Port Chester. I've been helping her pay the rent.”
“That's noble of you, but she's going to need a lot more than that very shortly. Do you have any idea how expensive babies are? How much it costs to have one?”
“What do you suggest, Dad?” He sounded suddenly bitter again, “that we get an abortion because it's cheaper? That's my baby inside her. I love it and I love her, and I'm not giving either of them up, do you understand that? And I'm not moving to New York. I'll get my grades up here, without going anywhere. I can always stay with her if I have to.”
“I don't know what to say to you anymore. Are you sure she's four months pregnant?” Benjamin nodded and it depressed Oliver to realize that their little “accident” had coincided with Sarah's departure. They had all gone nuts for a while, but Benjamin's craziness would last a lifetime. “Will she give it up?”
Benjamin shook his head again. “No, we won't, Dad. It's funny, I always thought you were against abortion.” The blow hit hard. He was the man who had fought Sarah each time to save his three children, and yet now he wanted Benjamin's baby to be aborted. But this was so different.
“In most circumstances, I am. But what you're doing is going to destroy your life, and I care more about you than that baby.”
“That baby is a part of me, and a part of you, and Mom … and Sandra … and I'm not going to let anyone kill it.”
“How are you going to support it?”
“I can take a job after school if I have to. And Sandra can work too. She's not doing this to get something out of me, Dad. It just happened and now we're dealing with it the best we can.” And that wasn't great, and even he knew it.
“How long have you known?” It certainly explained his seriousness in recent months, and constant disappearances, and his defiance.
“A while. A couple of months, I guess. She wasn't sure at first, because she's ne
ver very regular, and then I made her go to a clinic.”
“That's something, I guess. And now? Is she getting adequate medical care?”
“I take her to the doctor once a month.” It was incredible … his baby … his firstborn … was becoming a father. “That's enough, isn't it?” He looked suddenly worried again.
“For now. Do you think she'd go into a home for unwed mothers? They could take care of her, and eventually help her make arrangements for the baby.”
“What kind of arrangements?” Benjamin sounded instantly suspicious.
“That's up to her … and you … but it would be a decent place to live, with girls in the same situation.”
Benjamin nodded. It was a thought anyway. “I'll ask her.”
“When's the baby due anyway?”
“Late September.”
“You'll be away in school by then.”
“Maybe.” But that was a whole other fight, and both of them were too tired for that. It was after four o'clock in the morning and they were both exhausted.
“Go to bed. We'll talk tomorrow.” He touched Benjamin's shoulder with a look of tenderness and sorrow. “I'm sorry, Son. I'm so sorry this happened to both of you. Well work it out somehow.”
“Thanks, Dad.” But neither of them looked convinced as they went upstairs to bed, with their own thoughts, and their own troubles. And the doors to their bedrooms closed softly behind them.
Chapter 11
They talked long into the night almost every night that week, and got nowhere. One night, Oliver even went to see Sandra, and he was saddened when he saw the girl. She was pretty and not too bright, frightened and alone, and from another world. She clung to Benjamin as if he were the only person who could save her. And one thing she was adamant about, just as Benjamin was, she was going to have their baby.
It filled Oliver with despair, and in the end, he called Sarah.
“Are you aware of what's going on in the life of your oldest son?' It sounded like a soap opera even to him, but something had to be done about it, he couldn't spend the rest of his life with that girl, and their baby.
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