Maybe she just needed a little time away to get off this roller coaster of emotions that was driving her mad. Logistically, Jenna worked through her schedule for the rest of the week to figure out if and when she could realistically leave for a short trip back home. She didn’t have any classes Friday, and just another Anatomy lab on Thursday morning. There was enough time.
Jenna made arrangements to catch a bus back Thursday afternoon and return Sunday evening, just a short trip for a fresh start. She had no idea how she was going to explain a surprise visit to her parents, but she still had a couple of days to figure that part out. Her mother called just as she was entering her dorm room, so Jenna decided to go rogue and come up with something on the fly. She forced a smile and answered the phone on the second ring. “Hi, Mom, I was actually just going to call you.”
“Really? I guess you finally understand that a mother needs some reassurance that her only child, living far away on her own for the first time, is doing okay.”
“Yes, Mom, I do finally understand,” Jenna replied, ignoring her mother’s attempt at a guilt trip.
“Okay, well, I was just checking to make sure you got back from your class and are safe and sound for the night in your room.”
“Gosh, Sherlock, I literally just walked in. Do you have a copy of my schedule or something?”
Her mother laughed uneasily. “A mother’s intuition.”
“Whatever you say, Mom. I wanted to ask you something, anyway. Would it be okay if I come home Thursday, just for a long weekend?”
Her mother paused for much longer than Jenna expected before finally answering. “Yes, honey, of course.”
“You don’t sound very happy to see me. Did you already turn my old room into a craft room or something?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Jenna. You know that you’re always welcome here. This will always be your home.”
“Thanks, Mom, but aren’t you even going to ask me why I want to come home so soon?”
“No, I simply assume you miss your father. I knew it would be difficult to be away from him. You two have always been completely inseparable. He’ll be so glad to see you.”
Then Jenna got serious. “I miss you too, Mom.”
Her mother sniffled a little in response.
“Well, I’m glad things are okay, and I’m looking forward to seeing you. I already got a bus ticket.”
“All right, then. Your father will be there to pick you up. Send me the details.”
Jenna hung up, feeling a little disbelief over her mother’s reaction. She didn’t want to know what was prompting a sudden trip home, and she didn’t even ask for the specifics of how she was going to get there. If Jenna were lucky, maybe her mother would never ask any questions at all. What she really needed right then was someone to love her unconditionally, without interrogating or giving advice.
Taking advantage of her time alone in the room, she searched through Vivian’s belongings, trying to find the clothes she’d been wearing at that party. It was hopeless, what with Vivian’s clothing all looking fairly identical, all dark and drab and plain. She wasn’t even sure she’d know it if she saw it, but she dug through, looking for anything with blood or dirt.
Nothing.
Jenna plopped down on her bed and stared toward Vivian’s empty desk. She could see that the small trash can where she’d dumped her own wet clothes that morning was completely missing, or had been moved somewhere else. A thorough check around the room revealed that it was truly gone.
That crazy Vivian actually had the aptitude to get rid of our clothes?
Jenna wanted to believe Vivian was trying to protect her, but she knew the truth was probably more a matter of her saving her own skin. Or she was possibly holding the incriminating evidence for blackmail purposes in the future, in case Vivian ever needed something from her. Jenna was aware that any connection to the crime could land her in prison, even if she wasn’t the killer. She was evidently bonded for life with Vivian, despite their feelings toward each other.
Sisters in sin.
Jenna wished desperately that Vivian had never invited her to that stupid party. If she could only go back in time and be stronger to resist her invitation. For a girl who never had a single regret in her perfect life, she was beside herself over one bad decision. The internal turmoil was exhausting. Within minutes of lying back on the bed to silence the voices, she was soundly asleep.
She woke up to the birds singing and sun streaming through the windows, with no idea of how much time had passed. But she was getting used to that frenetic feeling. Looking over at Vivian’s bed, Jenna was completely unable to discern if anyone was currently there, or had been recently. She got up and changed clothes. She trudged on to her first class of the day, casually running a brush through her hair as she walked out the door.
This day of her schedule was the busiest, the one with the bulk of her classes. When she’d registered, she was most excited for these lessons and this day of the week. Now the time had finally come, and she couldn’t be less interested.
Jenna moved through the day like a machine, entering each classroom and finding the most remote seats away from people. She never saw Vivian in any of her classes, but she hadn’t exactly gone out of her way to look for her, either. Ironically, in just a few days, Jenna had morphed into her own carbon copy of Vivian. Her roommate was like a contagious disease, spreading to anyone she touched. Jenna hoped some physical separation over the weekend would undo all that damage.
Once again, when classes were over, Jenna went straight to her room, where she remained, alone, until morning. Old Jenna would have stayed up, burning the midnight oil to get ahead on her studies and prepare for the next day. She would have gotten up early to look her very best. But New Jenna didn’t have passion for school or appearances anymore. She couldn’t even remember the last time she ate anything, though she didn’t have any appetite at all.
Thursday morning, she got up and repeated her pattern of doing the bare minimum to her exterior, and dragged into her Anatomy lab. Once again, Vivian didn’t show up. Jenna was convinced that she’d gone AWOL, which made sense, according to her lack of a valid medical mark. Apparently Vivian didn’t care enough to come back for her pile of clothes, but then again, obtaining a new wardrobe shouldn’t be an issue for someone willing to steal an entire identify. Jenna wondered if the police had already picked Vivian up and just hadn’t bothered to let her know.
Maybe they want to keep everything hush-hush over this embarrassing incident.
*****
Jenna and Noah worked together in silence. She was still embarrassed over what had happened during their previous encounter. Noah also acted like he wanted to erase the entire thing from his memory. Jenna hoped that her impulsive reaction to Vivian hadn’t ruined her chance for something with him. The spark was still there, just different somehow.
After finishing class without any more problems, she found the campus bus stop and waited for the shuttle to the hub. As she rode away from school, she watched the other students walking around campus, like worker ants mindlessly taking food to their queen. Even so, they all appeared to belong there, and everyone seemed happy to be free for the weekend. Jealousy filled Jenna as she yearned to feel the way they all looked. Images of Vivian murdering those girls came flooding back again, but Jenna quickly shut her eyes and blocked it out.
Wherever she is, I hope she hasn’t killed anyone else.
The bus ride back home was quiet and uneventful, more of exactly what Jenna needed. Night was beginning to fall as they entered the station, and she could already see her father’s car parked and waiting. Jenna suppressed tears, but this time they were happy ones. Or at least, that was what she hoped. What she would tell him, if he asked.
Jenna got off the bus and ran as fast as her legs would carry her to her father’s open arms. They embraced, and she held on tight, safe at last in her protector’s hug. At that moment, Jenna didn’t want to ever let go. It was the best
she’d felt in days. Maybe in her entire life.
“Are you ready to go home, Princess?”
“Yes, so ready.”
They got into the car. Neither spoke a word all the way home, but the quiet time wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable. Jim seemed to instinctively know that she didn’t feel like talking right then. In complete silence, they pulled into the garage, and her father turned off the ignition.
“Where’s Mom?”
“She’s inside, waiting to see you.”
“Why didn’t she come with you? Is she upset with me?”
He chuckled. “No, she’s not upset. Why would she be? She just sensed that you might need a little space, that’s all.” After a long pause, he added, “We both love you so much. That will never change.”
Jenna nodded knowingly, and they both got out of the car. Her father grabbed her suitcase and followed her inside. Even after everything that had transpired during her week from hell, that was all it took for things to really feel completely normal again. And there was her mother, standing at the kitchen counter with her back to them, undoubtedly making Jenna’s favorite chocolate chip cookies.
“Mom, are you baking at this time of night?”
Judy spun around with her usual smile, wearing that same blue floral apron that Jenna had seen on her for as long as she could remember. The smell of homemade cookies baking in the oven took Jenna back to feeling like a little girl all over again. Her very first memory of this place, of these parents, was arriving with the clothes on her back to the aroma of freshly-baked dessert.
Judy rushed to hug her, with her usual stiff embrace and slight rocking from side to side. Eventually Jenna pulled away, and as she did, she noticed a tear running down her mother’s cheek. Before she could even ask, her mother wiped it away and turned back to work on those cookies. Jenna was sure she heard sniffling, but she decided against bringing it up. Judy was such a proud woman, and Jenna didn’t want to do or say anything to upset her, especially after what she’d done this week.
“I put your suitcase on your bed, Princess,” Jim said as he came back in the room.
“Okay. I just want to say that I really appreciate you two trying to act like nothing is wrong, but I think we need to talk about it. I mean, I know I must have disappointed you guys.”
Her parents turned to face Jenna as she spoke, almost completely void of expression—at least on their faces, but Jenna knew better. After spending nearly fifteen years with this couple, she knew what they were thinking just by watching their body language. Her mother’s posture was slightly less straight and tall, and her father’s brow was a little more furrowed than usual. They were worried, but they wouldn’t speak of it.
“Will one of you at least say something?” Jenna begged.
“What do you want us to say, honey?” Judy offered.
“I don’t know, but something, anything. Tell me you’re angry with me. I know you must be!” Jenna said as she burst into tears.
“We’re certainly not angry with you, Jenna. We’re just worried. You just aren’t acting like yourself these days.” Her father put his arm around her shoulder as he spoke.
She sobbed more as he held her, comforting her the best way he knew how. Judy looked on from across the kitchen, obviously concerned but also unsure how to handle the situation. Jenna gathered her composure and told them both good night, promising to finish the discussion the next morning.
Jenna walked into her room expecting to feel more peace, but something was still off. Her bedroom looked different, empty of all the things she’d taken with her to her new home on campus. The room was a metaphor for the way she felt. She inspected her bulletin board, with its certificates of achievement and newspaper clippings. Who was this girl? Where did she go?
She ended up lying down on her old bed without changing into her pajamas, just wanting to feel the familiar softness of her old bed. It was incredible, better than she remembered. Though night was well underway, enough moonlight was dancing through the windows to illuminate the pictures left behind on her walls.
Her favorite was one of her dressed as a little doctor for Halloween. She was maybe six or seven years old in the picture. She remembered the sheer feeling of happiness she got from seeing her parents so proud of her in that costume. Then there was another one, with her and her father fishing. Jenna recalled how her father had praised her for learning so quickly, for not being afraid to bait her own hook like most girls. All these photos helped her remember how good life used to be, how good she used to be.
Cocooned in her safe place with good thoughts in her head, Jenna fell asleep quickly. She slept soundly and woke up feeling more refreshed than she had all week, despite having worn her clothes all night.
Chapter 7
As soon as Jenna opened her eyes, the smell of bacon and eggs hit her nose. She felt familiar hunger pangs and again tried to remember the last time she ate something. She rolled out of bed, happy to be free of the nagging inner conflict she’d had while at school. Not wanting to disappoint her mother for wearing her regular clothes to bed, she fished her pajamas from her suitcase and quickly changed.
Then she stumbled downstairs, not having brushed her hair or even so much as glanced at a mirror. There was Judy once again, in her apron, scurrying around the kitchen. She appeared to be masterminding a feast for a hundred people, as opposed to just a breakfast for three.
Jenna never understood how her mother did it all those years. Even after hours of careful observation, she never could fathom how one woman could handle so much and still manage to look impeccable at all hours of the day. But that was her mother, the woman she was forever trying to emulate.
“Good morning, Mom,” Jenna said with a degree of her usual cheeriness.
“Good morning. How are you feeling this morning?”
“Much better. Thank you.”
“I hope you’re hungry. I made way too much, as usual.”
Her mother turned to face Jenna. As she did, she let out a small gasp.
“What’s wrong?” Jenna asked.
“Oh, I just noticed how pale and thin you’re looking. I wonder if you could be coming down with something?”
“I guess I could be. Maybe that’s why I haven’t felt well all week.”
“Yes, you’re being exposed to lots of new germs and probably just missing your mother’s cooking.”
“That’s probably it.”
They both smiled, and Jenna grabbed a plate, filling it completely. Her appetite had definitely returned with her geographic adjustment. She started devouring bacon before she even got to her usual place at the small round table. Jenna shifted uncomfortably in her seat as she detected a sideways glance from her mother, that judgmental look that told her to watch her table manners. But she kept eating without regard for proper etiquette, now feeling her mother’s look turn into a serious frown.
“Your father and I were planning to go shopping after breakfast. Do you want to tag along? Maybe we could get you some new outfits. If you look better, maybe you’ll feel better.”
“No thanks.”
“Oh? It’s not like you to miss a shopping trip. Did you make other plans?” Her mother was clearly being rhetorical.
“No, no other plans. I just don’t feel like going anywhere, so I think I’ll just stay here for the day.”
Jenna could see her mother’s mental wheels spinning, as she obviously continued to dream up more tactics to get Jenna out of the house and back to normal. After a couple of minutes, Jenna’s father stumbled into the kitchen. He looked particularly pleased with the breakfast spread that had been prepared for the guest of honor.
The look on his face indicated that things hadn’t certainly been the same in the house since Jenna had left. She knew he worried about his wife, as they’d talked about it right before Jenna’s move. He told her that knew it could take a while, certainly more than a week, for Judy to figure out her role in their new empty nest situation. But Jenna realized that t
he drama of these last few days had made that simple goal virtually impossible.
Her situation was creating worry for both of her parents, but her father carried the burden more internally, while her mother desperately sought a solution.
“Jenna’s going to stay home and rest today while you and I do our shopping,” Judy blurted out to her husband.
Jim nodded in agreement, without even questioning her unusual plan. For the duration of breakfast, the three sat mostly in silence, enjoying their food. Her parents made some gentle small talk here and there, but Jenna could tell they were treading lightly, fearful of scaring her away, she supposed.
*****
She watched out the front window as they backed out of the driveway and slowly drove up the street, out of sight. Jenna half expected them to return for a “forgotten item” or “sudden illness.” But after waiting for half an hour, she determined they must really be gone for the day.
Jenna quickly found herself bored, but happy she was calm enough to feel dullness. For a while she strolled aimlessly around the house, noting that nothing had changed since she moved away. Inside she chuckled a little, thinking about how the last five days felt like an eternity.
After perusing every room in the house, she walked back down the hallway, considering taking a walk outside to get some fresh air. But something caught her eye, something she didn’t remember ever seeing. It was a skinny white string with a knot at the end, leading up to a small framed panel on the ceiling.
I never realized we had an attic door here.
Without wasting any time, she jumped up and grabbed the knot, pulling the panel down and open as she dropped back to the ground. A ladder gently slid onto the floor in front of her feet. She pushed on it with both hands to test the sturdiness. It seemed fairly new, and strong enough to hold her minimal weight, so she timidly climbed the steps into the dark attic.
After reaching the platform, she stood still for a couple of minutes, letting her eyes adjust to the lack of brightness. Jenna spotted a light fixture attached to a wooden support in the middle of the room. After flipping the switch, she glanced around to see a large area that was about half full of boxes and stacks of papers.
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