‘I mean, what d’you think I’m gonna DO to her, for goodness’ sake?’
‘I’m sure you’ll be fine, dear – but please.’
‘Oh, yeah, yeah, I know.’ The voice was getting higher and higher, even though Penny was keeping calm. There was something in the girl’s voice that struck a chord in my memory. I’d been running along the top of a wall on a moonlit night. So much had happened to me since that night. It was hard to remember.
The footsteps and voices were coming nearer, walking down the side of the house. Soon, they would be round the corner and coming to the cat pens.
‘Well, surely, I can at least LOOK at the cat,’ came the girl’s voice, and with it came a distinctive jingling sound that jogged my memory further. Bangles. An arm with gold and silver bangles on it.
By now, I was wide awake and sitting up in the chair. Penny knew I usually turned my back on people, not because I was rude, but because they weren’t the right people for me. But this girl who was arguing so loudly with Penny – could it be . . . could it be HER?
I tensed expectantly as they came round the corner together. When I saw the girl’s aura of bright turquoise and lemon, I knew.
It was HER! My TammyLee!
I sailed down from the chair and ran across the pen with my tail flying like a plume. I flung myself at the fence and scrabbled with my paws, and meowed so loudly that it echoed off the stone walls of the farm. I wasn’t going to make a mistake this time. My TammyLee had come for me. She’d found me. She wanted me.
I weaved from side to side as I waited for them to open the gates and come in.
‘Well, well, well!’ said Penny, and she reached down to pick me up, but I twisted away from her and stared up at TammyLee with my golden eyes.
She gasped, and held out her arms. I leaped straight up and she caught me, her bangles jingling and tinkling. She looked into my soul with eyes that were green as clover leaves. And then she whispered to me:
‘Magic puss cat.’
I purred and purred, and kissed her beautiful face. I patted the gold bead in the side of her nose. I searched those green, green eyes, past the brightness, and saw that the deep pain of losing Rocky was still there. It would be there for ever. But I was here now, and I was going to love her.
‘Well . . . I’m speechless,’ said Penny.
TammyLee gazed and gazed at me, and a smudgy-looking tear rolled down her face. I licked it from her cheek, which was like a pale piece of velvet.
‘It is you,’ she whispered to me. ‘I knew when I saw your photo in the paper. I knew it was you. Magic puss cat.’
I snuggled down in her arms and stretched my chin over her neck so that she could feel my purr vibrating through her. I wrapped my paw round the other side of her neck, hugging her like a human. She started smiling, and two dimples appeared in her cheeks.
‘I’m speechless. Speechless,’ said Penny again.
‘Thank God for that,’ said TammyLee wickedly, and the two women smiled at each other.
‘Her name is Tallulah,’ said Penny.
‘Tallulah! That’s lovely. It’s like a song. Tallulah. I’ll sing it to you one day, magic puss cat.’
I cuddled deeper into TammyLee’s neck and throat, feeling as if I’d come home. I looked at Penny, and sent her a strong message. She got it.
‘Well, it looks as if Tallulah knows you. She’s certainly loving you,’ said Penny.
‘We do know each other. She used to run along the wall with me, in the moonlight, when . . .’ The sadness in TammyLee’s eyes rose to the surface, the deep ache of the mother love, like my mother’s last look at me when we were ripped away from her. A forever pain.
‘Please, please don’t let anyone else have her,’ pleaded TammyLee, suddenly vulnerable now, not arguing, not being bolshy, just appealing to Penny. ‘Only I was going to take her home today.’
TammyLee sent me a picture of a lovely home with a fire, and a wide back door that opened into a sunny room made of glass. Beyond the glass was a back garden with a weeping willow and a view of the mountains. It was perfect. But Penny was looking serious and shaking her head.
‘I’m sorry, my luvvy, but I can’t let you take her.’
There was a silence. I clung tighter and purred harder round TammyLee’s neck. I watched her aura turning to cracked glass, the way it had been that night. Grief and anxiety manifesting as anger. The anger flared through her like a bonfire, and I saw her looking at the gate. I saw she was thinking of making a run for it, with me in her arms.
‘I know how much you want her,’ said Penny kindly. ‘You can wait a couple of days, can’t you? Isn’t Tallulah worth waiting for?’
I patted TammyLee’s face and made her smile again as she fought against the anger.
‘I can come tomorrow and look at your home,’ Penny offered. ‘And if it’s OK, then I’ll bring Tallulah to you in my car. She’ll be safe, and I’d like to see her settled in. And I’m sure you’d like to know more about her, wouldn’t you? She had a very nasty experience before she came here and you need to know about that, and know what to do if she shows any symptoms.’
A rush of sympathy changed TammyLee’s defensive stance into softness and vulnerability. I sighed with relief as she said, ‘OK then, if that’s what it takes. So – can I really, really have her?’
‘I hope so, my luvvy,’ said Penny warmly. ‘I do hope so.’
TammyLee put me down reluctantly and I wove myself around her legs as she and Penny went out through the two gates.
‘Bye for now, Tallulah.’ TammyLee looked down into my face. ‘Don’t look so anxious. I’ll see you soon, magic puss cat.’
I bounded up to the highest perch and saw her walking away down the farm track, getting smaller and smaller. She turned once to blow me a kiss and her bangles flashed in the sun. I watched her get on the bus that came grinding up the hill every day, and I followed it with my eyes so that I would know which direction to take to find her, if I had to. The bus turned right, away from the mountains, and headed along the road beside the river, the road that led into the town where I had lived with Gretel.
I ran round and round the pen, meowing, searching for an escape route. And again, I was distraught. TammyLee had come to find me, and Penny wouldn’t let her take me!
Learning to wait, learning to trust, was a hard lesson for me. The pen seemed to be getting smaller, and my panic was like a whirlwind, engulfing me. When it reached an unbearable intensity, I noticed the black tomcat sitting close to his fence, watching me in concern. He meowed and reached out a paw to me. We touched noses through the fence, and it was the first time I’d communicated with him. I’d dismissed him as a boring, fat, switched-off cat.
I sat still for a moment, to see if he would communicate, and he did, telepathically. First, he leaned his solid black body against the fence, so that I could feel his warmth, and encouraged me with little purr-meows in his throat. We pressed against each other through the wire, and I sensed the words he was sending me.
‘Be still,’ he was telling me. ‘Be still and listen.’ Hearing and listening are different things for a cat.
Hearing is physical – hearing the wind in the trees, the traffic, the footsteps, the creak of doors. Listening is going inside a balloon of silence, sitting perfectly still and waiting.
The black cat joined me in this, and I felt his serenity and his wisdom. Why hadn’t I done this before? All I’d done in that pen was sleep, play and panic, sleep, play and panic. In the black cat’s benevolent presence, I was aware of him staring at my aura. What was he looking at?
Colours. He was showing me colours that flickered through my aura like those of a dragonfly in the sun. He was staring at a light in the air above and around me. He was showing me my angel!
‘Wow,’ I thought. ‘It’s been so long.’ It seemed a lifetime ago when I was ‘Fuzzball’, that I’d talked with my angel. Well, I didn’t talk; I listened, soaking up her words like the soothing heat of the sun.
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‘Tallulah,’ she said, and it sounded like a song. ‘Tallulah! All is well. You will go to TammyLee on the right day, when the sun is a deep gold. But first, you must wait, and trust. We have set this up for you so that you can begin your true work as Tallulah – a strong, wise and loving cat. The work will take many years, for TammyLee is a beautiful soul caught in a difficult life. She and her family will need you.’
‘I wish I had a friend,’ I said, ‘like this black cat, or like the dog, Harriet, who rescued me when I was tiny. I’ve never had a friend, only a human. I’ve been lonely.’
‘You will have a friend: Amber. Wait and see. Amber is waiting for you, and she is lonely too.’
‘Who is she?’ I asked, but my angel wouldn’t tell me. She wanted to say something else.
‘I’ve tried so often to talk to you, Tallulah,’ she said. ‘And you’ve always been too busy. Your life will spiral out of control if you don’t practice stillness regularly.’
I agreed that I would and, as the colours of my angel muted into the night, I slept, right there against the wire, with the black cat still pressed against me on his side of the fence.
The sun was golden as Penny drove me past the fields of sheep, along the babbling river towards the town. I sat up smartly in the cat cage, noticing everything, my whiskers quivering with excitement.
‘Here we are, Tallulah – your new home.’ Penny swung the car away from the big roundabout, down a leafy lane and into a driveway. As soon as the tyres crunched over the gravel, I heard a dog barking deep inside the house. And I could hear another sound – the burble of water rushing over stones. The river was very close.
TammyLee came running across the lawn. I meowed as she reached the car, breathless, and full to the brim of love for me. I kissed her bangled arm through the wire mesh. ‘Don’t let her out yet,’ warned Penny as she took my cage out of the car. The air smelled of sweet apples, and sheep and the briny river. After my time in the pen, I so needed to be on the grass and in the trees.
‘I’ll bring her in.’ Penny seemed reluctant to let go of me. ‘I want to see her reaction to Amber. And there’s some papers to sign.’
She carried me into this awesome house, which smelled of roast chicken and oranges, and, yes, it smelled of damp dog as well. The barking started again, a man’s voice yelled, ‘QUIET,’ and it stopped.
‘Here she is,’ said TammyLee. ‘This is Tallulah. Isn’t she a darling?’
A man and a woman were looking into the cage at me, and I immediately observed that the woman was ill. Her aura was bright but fragile, and she sat in a wheelchair.
‘This is Mum,’ said TammyLee, and I did my best to smile there in the cage, giving a little purr-meow and dancing my eyes at the poor sick woman with the sweet face. ‘Her name is Diana.’
Penny unfastened the cage door. I paused, fluffed my fur, and swanned out, looking round at everyone with my golden eyes full of joy. My family!
‘And this is Dad.’ TammyLee showed me the man, and he looked at me kindly under bushy eyebrows. He was obviously important, and powerful, his aura had an orange glow. I rubbed myself around his legs and felt him touch the tip of my fluffy tail.
‘Hello, Tallulah,’ he said, ‘I’m Max,’ and immediately I sensed he was holding something back, some secret he was bursting to tell me.
‘Shall we do it?’ he asked eagerly. ‘Shall we introduce them?’
‘No time like the present,’ said Diana in a thin squeak of a voice.
‘Best get it over with,’ said Penny.
Max got up and opened a glass door into the conservatory. ‘Now you be a good girl, Amber. Don’t you dare even THINK about barking.’
I stared in utter joy. A dog! My own dog! And what a beauty. Amber was golden, silky and magnificent. She stood in the doorway with the light shining through the silver plume of her wagging tail. Her eyes were anxious and she went stiff when she saw me there with my tail up. I ran straight to her and kissed her on the nose.
‘Oh, my goodness!’ cried Penny.
Amber looked down at me like a goddess. Then she lay on her belly and sniffed at me, and whimpered.
‘It’s all right, Amber,’ said TammyLee. ‘Tallulah wants to be friends with you.’
Amber turned her head away from my kisses. She shivered all over and started creeping along the floor towards TammyLee.
‘You great big coward.’ Max laughed at Amber, loudly, and the dog looked hurt.
‘Don’t laugh at her. Poor Amber,’ said TammyLee, ‘she’s frightened of doing something wrong.’
I was impressed with her intuition. Amber seemed terribly uncomfortable with me rubbing against her throat and kissing her. She lifted a paw and put it on my back, and when I twisted out from under it, she jumped back as if she expected me to scratch her.
‘They’ll be fine,’ said Penny. ‘Tallulah’s so laid-back.’
But I was disappointed. I’d fallen instantly in love with Amber and I felt rebuffed. I jumped up into TammyLee’s arms for a cuddle, and she carried me slowly round the room, whispering to me, telling me what everything was. She carried me into the conservatory and showed me the garden, and Amber’s bed. Amber followed us, her tail down, her eyes worried. She got on to her beanbag bed and stamped it round and around with a loud crunching noise, then slumped down on it and lay staring at the floor.
I needed time alone with Amber, and it didn’t happen until early the next morning. I’d slept in three places: first, in the cat bed, ten minutes, then I tried all the chairs and found a little old one with a saggy seat, which was perfect. Two hours later, I got up, stretched, and explored every corner of the downstairs, up over the bookshelves first. I even took out a book with my paw and opened it, thought about shredding it, but there was too much else to inspect: over the mantelpiece, up the thick curtains and along the shelf at the top, where I found a spider to play with; under the massive sofa, where I practised being a flat cat. A lot of stuff was under there: slippers, a soggy tennis ball, a revolting old bone, a plastic rabbit, a tweed cap that smelled like a car. Obviously, these were Amber’s treasures, and she was too big to get them out. Respectfully, I reversed out and went to the closed door of the conservatory, to look at Amber through the glass. Curled up in a ball on her bed, she was having a nightmare. Her paws were twitching and she was making squeaky little woofs in her throat.
I felt lonely and wanted to be with her, but she didn’t like me. Upset and alone in the strange house, I crept through the hall and sniffed the night through a crack in the front door. I yearned to go out and taste the summer night, lie on the cool soft grass and watch the stars above me. My entire life had been doors and cages. I looked at the stairs, wanting to communicate with TammyLee. She had to understand my need for freedom.
So I ended up slinking upstairs and into her bedroom. It smelled like flowers, and there were piles of glittery clothes and beads and hard shoes everywhere. A line of teddy bears patrolled the shelf above the bed, and I’d never really seen teddy bears before. They weren’t asleep, and their glass eyes spooked me so much that I wailed in fright.
‘Come on, darling, magic puss cat.’ TammyLee was awake instantly and patting the bed quilt. I’d never been allowed on Gretel’s bed, so I hesitated.
‘Come on, Tallulah. It’s OK. You’ve got me now.’ She reached down and scooped me into the softest pillowy place I’d ever experienced. It smelled of pansies, and felt softer than the deepest grasses. I sank my paws into it, dough punching and purring, and went to sleep, a happy cat, with TammyLee’s hand on my fur.
TammyLee was fast asleep when I heard the dawn outside. Pigeons were cooing and jackdaws chack-chacking. I jumped onto the windowsill and sat in the pink sunlight, watching the swallows, tiny and fast, zooming in wide arcs through the sky, and their high pitched voices sounded free and joyful. I wanted to be out there, prowling on the lawns, exploring, climbing the fence and inspecting the garden next door. I wanted to feel the earth under my paws, and taste t
he grass, and hear the bees waking up as the sun rose.
The smell of toast and bacon wafted up the stairs, so I padded down with my tail up and found TammyLee’s dad at the table in the kitchen with Amber leaning against his legs. She turned when she saw me, but only her ears moved, and the very tip of her tail wagged. I longed to pounce on it and play, but it was too early to take liberties like that.
‘Hello, Tallulah.’ Max didn’t move but kept his arm protectively around Amber, and his coffee mug in the other hand. I rubbed myself adoringly on Amber’s creamy gold chest and she stuck her nose high in the air to avoid me.
‘I must get off to work now.’ Dad got up and took his plate to the sink, giving Amber a scrap of bacon rind, which she snapped and swallowed. Then he gave me some milk and wagged his finger at Amber. ‘Don’t you TOUCH it. That’s the cat’s breakfast. Leave it.’
I lapped it up quickly, while Amber sat watching me. Max headed for the door, a black case in his hand. ‘No, Tallulah,’ he said. ‘You’re not allowed out yet. You get to know Amber.’ And his soap-scented hand pushed me back gently as I tried to go out.
Was I still a prisoner?
Miffed, I sat washing, and Amber must have sensed my sadness, for she crept towards me and touched me with a big soft paw. I deliberately continued washing. I could manage perfectly well without a dog who didn’t like me, thank you.
Amber listened to the sound of Max’s car rolling over the gravel, then leaving with a smart zippy sort of roar. The house was quiet, and I was alone with my beautiful goddess of a dog, and she didn’t like me.
Once the car had gone, Amber relaxed. She started sending me messages, in the way that animals do, by telepathy. It’s so much easier than trying to actually speak like humans do, and it changes so smoothly from images to words and back again.
The first message Amber sent me was that she loved Max, but he dominated her too much. She was a more confident dog when he wasn’t there telling her what to do. She did want to be friends with me, but she’d never had a cat friend before, and she was nervous.
She gave me an experimental lick on the top of my head, and I stopped being huffy and let her lick my back the way Harriet had done. When I’d had enough, I gave her a pat on the nose, being careful to keep my claws retracted. She lay down on her side, and let me cuddle up to her and she wanted me to purr right next to her ear. She lay there, thumping her tail, and I even dared to play with it.
Solomon's Kitten Page 6
