by Bess McBride
“Are you certain? Why can’t you stay in Seattle?”
Melinda asked with a dejected slump of her shoulders.
“Yes, I’m sure. I have responsibilities back there...my parents.”
Melinda opened her mouth, but Mrs. Chamberlain interceded. “That is enough, Melinda. Do not press her any further. Ellie has explained herself sufficiently on the matter. It really is none of our concern.”
Ellie shot the older woman a grateful look, but the older woman refused to meet her eyes and looked away toward the cold fireplace.
“Well, you must do as you think best, Ellie. I am sure my grandson will recover. As you say, it has only been a few days since you met.”
“Exactly,” Ellie murmured with a lump in her throat.
“Although time has little meaning in matters of the heart. It may surprise you to know that Mr. Chamberlain asked me to marry him the first night we met, and I said yes.” Robert’s grandmother met Ellie’s startled eyes with her own bright blue gaze.
“Grandmama, I did not know that!” Melinda turned an appraising stare on her grandmother.
Ellie blinked. Was the older woman trying to tell her something? Didn’t Mrs. Chamberlain want her to leave? To leave Robert?
“How wonderful for you!” Ellie murmured.
Mrs. Chamberlain’s cheeks turned pink. “Yes, it was quite romantic really.” Ellie watched her quick and unexpected smile droop. “I confess to being quite crotchety since he passed away ten years ago. I miss him a great deal.”
“Oh, Grandmama.” Melinda slid over next to her grandmother and kissed her cheek. “I am sorry.”
“Yes, well, no need to crowd me on the sofa, child.” She shooed Melinda, who moved over a few inches again, no small feat in her long skirts and corset.
“Well, then.” Mrs. Chamberlain cleared her throat. “You will not reconsider having my grandson, is that correct, Ellie?”
Ellie couldn’t bear the finality of the statement. Of course, she would consider him. She was head over heels in love with the man. And who wouldn’t die to have such a handsome man pursue her so relentlessly? Or pursue the fantasy of a science fiction character, that is.
Ellie gave her head a slight shake.
“You have nothing to worry about from me, Mrs. Chamberlain.”
“Oh, Ellie,” Melinda mourned. Tears sprang to Ellie’s eyes, and she gritted her teeth and stared straight ahead.
Mrs. Chamberlain rose. “I am not worried about you, Ellie, though if you do change your mind and marry Robert, you had better waste no time in having children.”
“Grandmother!” Melinda giggled. “I cannot believe you—”
Ellie dashed the back of her hand to her eyes. “I’m not that old, Mrs. Chamberlain.”
The older woman snorted and headed for the door. Melinda stopped to give Ellie a brief hug before following her grandmother out of the parlor. Mrs. McGuire bustled out from the kitchen to bid the guests farewell and then returned to her baking after ascertaining that Ellie planned to take a walk through the neighborhood.
Ellie climbed the stairs to her room and grabbed her jacket and hat. She jammed it on her head, wondering if the burning spots on her cheeks would ever fade back to their normal color. This adventure of hers kept her in a heightened emotional state of perpetual embarrassment, it seemed. She needed to get outside in the fresh air to think about things and make some plans.
Ellie stepped out of the house and looked up and down the street in every sense of the expression. The street was on an incline, as most things in hilly Seattle seemed to be. In need of a good workout, Ellie turned to the right to climb up the steep road.
As she walked and studied the “old” Victorian houses in their new condition, she wondered how best to extricate herself from the current problems. Though she had plenty of money for the moment, it would not last forever. Should she find a job teaching? Could she move to another town where Robert would never find her? Both possibilities seemed daunting in this particular day and age. One thing she’d noticed was a lack of the anonymity she knew in her own time. Everybody knew everyone’s business here. She lifted her skirts over muddy patches on the walk and smiled. The modern expression seemed out of place.
The image of a train popped unbidden into her head, and she swore she could almost feel the rocking motion and hear the whistles blowing. Was that a message? Should she get back on a train for Chicago? Would that somehow return her to where she needed to be, where she was supposed to be? If Robert was right, and she had traveled through time, would that take her back to her own century? Did she want to return to her lonely existence?
Kyle was gone. That seemed clear. And if he wasn’t gone, he would have to go, because she could never have fallen in love with Robert so readily, so completely, if she and Kyle had ever had a hope of a successful relationship.
What if by some miracle she stayed? Could she survive in the early 1900s with virtually no women’s rights, no financial means of her own, no airplanes, no television, no modern medicine? Did she even have the choice to stay?
Ellie looked up from the sidewalk to nod at a couple who strolled by. A carriage rolled down the street, while she could hear the horses’ hooves of another carriage or wagon laboring up the hill behind her.
She shook her head. Ellie felt sure she couldn’t stay. Be it a dream or some odd shift in a space-time continuum, she was going to wake up in her own bed soon, and all this would be gone. She sighed and paused to survey her surroundings with the colorful Victorian houses, lush gardens and tall evergreen trees. Turning around to capture the vista of the city which spread out below, she shrieked as she bumped directly into Robert’s chest. She thrust her hands against him.
“Good gravy, what are you doing here? You scared me half to death.”
Robert reached out to steady her, immaculate as always in a well-fitting gray suit and charcoal blue-gray vest.
“I am sorry. I did not mean to startle you. I meant to call out when I neared, but you turned so suddenly.”
She eyed him narrowly and looked past him to see his carriage standing by, Jimmy staring discreetly off into the distance. “Why aren’t you at work? Don’t you ever go to work? I heard you were a workaholic.”
He reared back and stiffened. “A workaholic? You mean drinking? I do not overindulge. Well, except for the other night.”
Ellie giggled. “No, workaholic...someone who works all the time. Dorothy told me you work all the time.”
“Dorothy, eh? I had forgotten she resides at Mrs. McGuire’s boarding house. Yes, I have been known to work a great many hours. It has been my habit of many years.”
“Why are you here, Robert? Your grandmother came to see me this morning.”
He sighed. “Yes, I know. I was afraid of that, and I wondered how you managed.”
“I managed very well, thank you.” Ellie fiddled with her skirt. “She had some interesting information for me.”
Robert tightened his lips and turned away momentarily. “I hoped she would not mention our talk. She told you, then?”
“Told me what, Robert?” Ellie closed her eyes for a moment. Would he actually say the words?
“That I intended to ask you to marry me,” Robert murmured in a tender voice.
Ellie opened her eyes and looked into his sparkling green eyes, hating to extinguish the light. “I am engaged, Robert.”
“No, you are not, Ellie.”
Color flooded Ellie’s face. “I most certainly am,” she retorted. He couldn’t possibly have seen his grandmother or Melinda in the last few minutes, could he? How could she have expected them to keep a secret?
“Then what is this?” Robert held her engagement ring in the palm of his hand.
Ellie gasped and fell back a step. “Where did you get that?”
“The pawn shop on Second Avenue, near the teashop where I saw you and Constance. It did not take much to deduce you had...ah...sold your something there.” He looked down at the ring. “Thi
s is your engagement ring, isn’t? What sort of betrothed woman sells her ring?”
“The sort who needs money,” she snapped. “Did you pay the jeweler for that? I must owe you a fortune.”
“You do not owe me anything. I will take it out in trade when we are married.” His eyes danced merrily, and Ellie had all she could do not to fall into his arms.
“Your grandmother thinks I am too old,” she muttered self-consciously.
“I love older women,” he murmured, a seductive note creeping into his voice. He reached for her hand, but she snatched it away.
“I am leaving, Robert. I told you I cannot control this...this phenomenon. I’ll be gone before you know it.”
“Ah, yes, back to your parents in Chicago. You told me you were an orphan. Another fabrication, Ellie?”
She blinked and stared at him. “Oh dear, I did say that, didn’t I? That’s actually the truth. My parents are both dead.” She quirked an eyebrow. “You certainly have quite the way with lies yourself, don’t you? Wenatchee? On my way to visit a favorite aunt?”
Robert grinned. “I was only trying to help you out in an awkward situation...and very successfully, I might add.”
Ellie chuckled. “Yes, very successfully. Thank you.”
“Come, Ellie, come with me in the carriage. Let’s drive around the city. I will take you to the waterfront this time, if you like.” His dimples were irresistible.
Ellie hesitated. Under the hypnotic gaze of Robert’s eyes, all her reasons for running from him seemed insubstantial and wispy. Why had she left, anyway?
With a smile, she put her hand in his, and he lifted her up into the carriage. Ellie put her fears aside for the afternoon as Robert set out to entertain and enthrall her with the sights and sounds of the city. He could have simply read a newspaper and she would have sat at his feet equally captivated by his charm. She kept her eyes on him as he described the city he loved, pointing out various lakes, parks, buildings and mountains. The afternoon passed all too quickly.
Robert left Ellie at her door just before dinner with a chaste kiss to her cheek, given that several pairs of feminine eyes peeked through the glass to observe them.
“I will come for you tomorrow, Ellie, in the morning.” Robert turned and walked away. Ellie stared after him. Come for her? What did that mean, exactly? Were they going somewhere? Obviously Robert had not seen the latest horror films. “Come for you” meant something totally different to someone in a darkened theater clutching a bag of popcorn with an unsteady hand.
She entered the house and joined the women for another lively dinner, fielding questions as best she could about her morning visitors as reported by Mrs. McGuire, and about her afternoon outing. She studied the girls with affection. Was this the rest of her life? No matter how many times she said she was leaving or how many times she said she would wake up, she remained in the year 1901. Would she marry Robert? Was that even possible? Of course, he hadn’t asked her. And children? Could she bear to have children, never knowing if she would wake up to lose them or leave them in time? Ellie shuddered. No, she could not bear that.
After dinner, she dragged herself up the stairs for bed, wishing for a moment that she had the solace of television to block her chaotic thoughts. As she undressed and climbed into bed, she wondered whether Robert was thinking of her as she now thought of him. She turned on her side to look out the window and gaze at the bright white moon, high in the sky. Her eyelids drooped and she slept.
****
Bright sunlight slipped through Ellie’s half-closed eyelids. She turned over on her side to avoid the light. Her clock said 6:00 a.m. Clock? Ellie jerked and sat up. She was back in her bed in Chicago, the modern furnishings in the room all too sickeningly familiar.
“Honey, are you awake?” Kyle poked his head in from the bathroom, his blonde hair freshly washed and uncombed, a white towel draped loosely around his waist. Ellie had a sudden, wistful thought that she would never see Robert with a towel around his waist. Was it possible? Was her dream over?
Kyle moved toward the bed and bent to kiss her lips. “Good morning, Ellie. I think you overslept this morning.” He sat down on the edge of the bed and took her hand in his own.
Ellie stared at him in mute silence. Wasn’t he gone? Hadn’t he moved out? When had he returned?
“Kyle. I-I thought you left.”
He looked at the clock and then back to her. “Nope, not me. I don’t leave till 6:30. You know that.” He patted her hand and stood up to return to the bathroom. He returned with a cup of coffee. “Made my own coffee this morning. Are you proud of me?”
Ellie nodded and pulled her knees up to her chest. “I mean I thought you moved out.”
Kyle turned a startled face to her. “What? What are you talking about?”
“I... Didn’t you tell me that you were leaving? That you’d met someone? Was that a dream?”
Kyle eyed her like she’d lost her mind. And she had, there was no doubt of it. Where was Robert? He always seemed to understand her insanity. He wasn’t the dream, was he? Surely this was the dream! Ellie felt a searing knife-like pain in her chest. She was afraid she knew the answer.
“Wow, that was some dream! Yeah, I left, but I came back, remember?”
“I thought...” Ellie grabbed a pillow and clutched it to her aching chest.
“Come to think of it, you were dreaming last night. A lot. You kicked a lot and talked and moaned and all sorts of things. I have to admit I finally moved to the couch to get some sleep.” He jumped up and headed back to the bathroom.
Ellie bit back a sob. “What did I say?” she asked his retreating back.
“Oh, I don’t know,” he yelled from the bathroom. “Hard to make some of it out. Let’s see. I heard Seattle, train, Victorian and a few names...Roger or Robert. You must have had quite the trip to Seattle last week.”
“Last week?” she croaked.
He poked his head back out and stared at her. “Yeah, last week, remember? Seattle, the conference? The one you just got back from?”
Ellie rubbed her eyes with the palms of her hands. Real life had suddenly become a nightmare.
“Are you okay? Got a headache?” Kyle removed his towel and moved toward his closet to grab some clothes. Ellie looked up. She would never see Robert without clothes, would she? They would never live together. It was all a dream. She remembered waking up from dreams in the past and trying to recapture the moment. It never happened.
“No,” she muttered. Ellie watched Kyle dressing, realizing with an aching finality that she could never marry him. He had never entranced her as Robert had with a look from his green eyes or a flash of his dimples. She suspected no living man ever could. Were she and Kyle even engaged any more? The idea seemed suddenly so foreign to her.
“Kyle?” she hesitated.
He turned from the closet. “Yes, Ellie?”
“I-I don’t think I can marry you.” She winced as she watched him. His reaction was unexpected in its lack of reaction. He turned away to pull on his trousers.
“I know, honey. You don’t have to remind me. We talked about that already. You said after I came back that you weren’t going to be able to marry me, and I told you that was okay. I’m obviously not the most faithful guy in the world, am I?” He gave her a sheepish grin and turned to the mirror to knot his tie.
“I’m sorry, Kyle.” What she really longed to do was go back to sleep and find Robert.
He turned around and crossed over to the bed, bending to kiss the top of her head. “It’s okay, Ellie. We’ve been through all this.” He picked up her hand and studied it.
“Where’s your ring? Did you put it away?”
Ellie stared at her hand. Had there been a ring? Really?
“I-I don’t know. Didn’t I give it back to you?”
Kyle shook his head and returned to the closet to grab his jacket. “Nope. I told you to keep it. I mean you’ve had it for what...two years now? It’s definitely yours.”<
br />
Ellie stared at her left hand. Where was the ring?
Kyle turned at the door and waved. “Better get up, Ellie. You’re already late. I’ll see you tonight.”
As soon as the front door shut, Ellie jumped up and ran to her jewelry box. She rummaged through it, looking for her ring, but the shining diamond did not materialize from the clutter of costume jewelry. She retraced her steps and climbed back into bed, closing her eyes tight and burying her head under the covers. She tried deep breathing and counting sheep, but sleep eluded her. She pressed the pillow over her head and willed herself to sleep, to slip back into her dream, but the real world maintained its choking hold on her. She turned over. Hot tears poured from her eyes and ran down the sides of her face.
Please, please, please let me go back to sleep! Robert, you said you would come for me. Please come for me!
An hour passed and still her inability to sleep kept the man of her dreams from her. Ellie pulled herself up in bed and sobbed into her hands. How could life hand her a magical romance and then take him away? She dragged herself out of bed and paced the apartment, pulling shades down to darken the rooms. She flopped into an easy chair and squeezed her eyes shut. She jumped up in seconds and went into the bathroom to search the cabinets for sleeping pills. There were none, of course. Sleep had never before been an issue.
Robert! Can you hear me? Robert!
Ellie returned to the bedroom and lay down on the floor, resting her burning face against the carpet, rubbing her face against the roughness. She thought she must be going insane. The world had gone quiet. Only the rumble of the El disturbed the dead silence.
The El! The train! Was it possible? Ellie jumped up and flew to the living room to flick on a lamp. She grabbed the phone book and phone and dialed the number for the train station, waiting with bated breath through an endless, painful series of recorded telephonic menus while she sought for her answer.
At one point, she banged the phone against the arm of her easy chair while she begged the recorded tinny voice on the other end to treat her like a human being. She had real questions, and she needed real answers. At last, the proper menu monotoned its arrival, and she waited forever to hear the information she wanted. With a quick glance at her watch, she jumped into some jeans, a sweater and tennis shoes, grabbed the cash from the cookie jar and flew down the stairs. Ellie had no idea where her purse and cell phone were, but she had no time to look for them. If she’d lost them in a dream, then where were they?
