Doomsman - the Theif of Thoth

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Doomsman - the Theif of Thoth Page 19

by Harlan Ellison


  His voice was calm and conversational. Dangerfield said:

  "The ornamental buttons on my surcoat are shock-projectors,

  two-dimensional microminiaturized printed-circuit models activated on the psionic level. I am standing facing you in full.

  My upper bu.tton is aimed at the clump of muscles directly

  above your heart. If you attempt to draw a weapon or make

  a sudden move I will fire a paralyzing shock into your heart

  muscles and you will die instantly of psionically-induced

  heart failure! Now toss the Crown of Stars over here."

  Hautley's air of unruffled aplomb was never more unshaken. He smiled and continued : "In' a moment, surely. But don't you want to know how I figured you for the most celebrated crime-fighter in the galaxy, even before comparing

  your pearly white choppers to the dental records? It was

  very, very simple and will only take a moment. The level of

  your disguise's artistry was such that only four men in the

  galaxy, including myself, could have accomplished it with such

  a degree of finesse. The other two men are known to me; we

  have worked together on one occasion or another. That left

  only Captain Rex Dangerfield, master of disguise. You and I

  have never met before. I doubted very much if my four

  friends would dare the risk of attempting to pull off an imposture under my very nose. That left only you, Captain."

  "You are very intelligent, Quicksilver," Dangerfield said

  tonelessly. "Too intelligent for your own good . . ."

  "Now," continued Quicksilver smoothly. "As to your motive: there could be only one motive. In the course of an official investigation, I presume, you stumbled across some

  evidence that the Neothothic cult object contained some extraordinarily valuable 'thing.' Something so valuable as to thrust even the Crown's own intrinsic or historic value into

  the pale. You have had a busy and long career, Captain;

  many temptations have come before you, as they have come

  before me. But here you are, risking your professional reputation, your name and career, your very life-the value of the 'thing' must be truly inestimable. Thus, I suspect it to be

  a technological secret."

  "You are quite correct, damn you," Dangerfield said in

  cold tones quite unlike the hesitant, wavering voice of Pawel

  Spiro. "The Cavern Kings of Thoth were not, as has been

  universally believed, of 'pre-space' technology. In fact, they

  possessed an amazing variety of energy weapons, a science of

  armaments many millenia in advance of our own level of

  military technology. A man who had control of such secrets

  could conquer the galaxy, master the Empire itself, rule

  the entire Universe! I learned of all this from a renegade­

  Neothothic priest, defrocked, exiled, and eager for revenge.

  He revealed under the psychoscope that one of the gems in

  the Crown is an energy-retaining galina crystalloid upon

  which is molecularly recorded in universally comprehendible

  mathematical terminology the entire weapons technology of

  the extinct race of lizardmen!"

  "But he had already blabbed the same info elsewhere,

  hadn't he?" Hautley deftly interposed. ''To Heveret Twelfth

  of Canopus, for one--Heveret, whose royal predecessor,

  Heveret Eleventh, was one of the most ambitious warlords of

  the last century. Number 12's greatest desire was to outdo the

  exploits of his Pop, and as soon as he got the word, he began

  getting ideas. But your talkative ex-frater also sold the news

  to two other blokes as well-one of them a gangland chieftain on Thieves' Haven, who sicced a passel of Bad Guys on the trail of the lore; the second, some official less corruptible

  than you of the Imperial government, who triggered an

  official Intelligance survey of the problem of purloining the

  Crown and the whole technology, a survey which ultimately

  led to the government's attempted retaining of my own services in that capacity. Ah, it's been quite a round-robin, hasn't it, Rex, old boy?''

  "Well. the party's over as of right now, Quicksilver,"

  Dangerfield sneered. "Just toss the Crown over to the sofa;

  gently now, no tricks! Don't try any games like pitching it at

  my head or kicking it into the pit of my stomach, or I'll give

  you a coronary on the spot!"

  "Right-o, gently it is. Now, Barstine."

  The heart-stopping buttons on Dangerfield's surcoat vaporized in a searing puff of metallic steam.

  In the other comer of the room, Barsine Torsche stepped

  from behind the light-ba.fHe which had enabled her to enter

  the room directly behind Quicksilver under full invisibility, and to record every word of this conversation on her ringrecorder. In her right hand she held a multigun, whose nondirectional ionic-blast component had just disintegrated the deadly buttons with a curved beam. Now the neuronic stungun component felled Dangerfield like a disrooted kazolba tree, and stiffened him out safely in stasis.

  "Captain Rex Dangerfield, I arrest you under ·the provisions of Public Criminal Code A-12, Sub-section 4, on the charges of Dlegal Use of Official Secrets, Criminal Impersonation, Conspiracy Towards Violating Planetary Sovereignity, and General Knavery," she intoned formally above the recumbent figure, just to complete the record Then, de-activating the recorder, she turned to the bland. smiling Hautley.

  "Okay, toss over the junk jewelry, Quicksilver, c'monl" she

  mapped "Your government needs that technology."

  "No government needs so deadly a weapon as an advanced

  energy-weapons science," he laughed lightly. "Especially, considering the fact we have no enemies. Or if the government does, then it's up to them to find someone smarter than me to

  4o the jobl"

  "You mean • . . •• she gasped.

  "I mean. No, Barsine, your simple, childlike faith in me is

  touching, but even the one and only Hautley Quicksilver

  couldn't figure out a way to tell the one true Crown of Stars

  in that warehouse full of phony copies. I didn't even try,

  frankly. All I needed for my purpose was to snag just one of

  'em, to confront 'Pawel Spiro' with. If your boss, '01' T.J.,'

  wants the Crown, he'll have to steal it himself!"

  Her lovely eyes glowed with dawning comprehension, then

  flashed with fury.

  "Oh! Hautley. Quicksilver. You. Beast!" she hissed between clenched teeth (which is a difficult trick to perform: try it yourself and see) . "All the scintillating way from Thoth

  to the hotel you've been refusing to tell me how you picked

  the right Crown, and I've been wracking my brains till

  they're as limp as day-old asparagus, trying to figure out how

  you did it! Now it turns out you didn't do it, at all! You are

  the most insufferable, superior, supercillious, smug grulzak in

  the Known Universe. I hate you!"

  He reached out a casual arm and pulled her into a smothering embrace.

  "That is inaccurate. You utterly adore me, and you know

  it . . . poor child!" he commented. Then he kissed her with

  such expertise that her toes curled up and her kneecaps

  wilted like day-old asparagus, to match the above-described

  condition of her intellectual equipment. Then he made the

  mistake of releasing her.

  KRAK!

  Her palm connected with his cheek stunningly. Crimson

  with fury, she slapped a gravity-neutralizer on Dangerfield's

  forehead and towed h
im out of the room like a suitcase.

  Hautley sighed, gingerly touching his stinging cheek.

  "Such passion," he yawned, boredly. "Why does she keep

  up this dull pretence of fighting it? The girl's mad for me,

  obviously."

  He had a versicle expressive of this amorous ennui:

  Grim jest: they yield at touch of hand.

  Too easy conquest is . . . too bland!

  We shall leave the indomitable Quicksilver at that point.

  enveloped in his own comfortable delusions.

  THE END

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