So yeah, it was time to start fresh. To finally clean the slate like she’d talked about for so long. To start a new life in a completely different place.
She wasn’t looking forward to it in the slightest, but maybe in time it would be a good thing. Maybe.
* * *
• • •
Jason was in a foul mood.
That was nothing new. He’d been in a foul mood ever since he’d found out the truth. He was angry at Cass and Annie, angry at Eli and Dustin, angry at Sage . . . angry at the world. He went through work with a scowl on his face and said nothing to anyone. He knew Dustin and Eli suspected something was up, but they didn’t ask, and that was just fine, because he wasn’t volunteering it. He took on chores that meant he could avoid conversations, and he spent most of his days stabbing at hay with pitchforks because that helped ease his anger. He did his work, but he wasn’t pleasant about it, and he made sure the others knew how he felt. The only one he trusted was Achilles, and that was because the dog was too innocent to know what he’d been pulled into.
He was irritated with Cass and the others for prying into his business, but he expected it. People always gave him weird looks when they found out he had post-traumatic stress. They always treated him differently, acted strangely. Forcing a dog on him to try and calm him—even if it had worked—was irritating and typical. At least they hadn’t tried to force him into therapy or pushed essential oils on him as if sniffing lavender would fix his brain.
What hurt the most was Sage’s betrayal. He’d trusted her. He’d let her in and gotten closer to her than he had any other human being. He’d opened himself up . . . and she’d immediately gone behind his back and tried to fix him despite claiming that he wasn’t broken in her eyes. That was what hurt the worst. That she said one thing and did another.
After a few days of Jason’s surliness, though, Eli and Dustin confronted him in the barn. “What’s chapping your ass?” Dustin asked, arms crossed. “You’ve been pissy ever since I got back.”
Jason just tried to step past them. “I’m not in the mood for chitchat.”
Eli put a hand on his shoulder, stopping Jason before he could storm away. “You need to speak up, because you’re making everyone miserable.”
Was he making everyone miserable? Good. He glared at both of them.
“Heard you and Sage are done,” Dustin continued. “That why you’re so pissy? She dumped you?”
Hearing her name made him ache. Not just because he felt betrayed . . . but because he still missed her. Part of the reason his mood was so foul was that he felt as if something he cherished had been snatched from him. Sage was his home, and now his home was destroyed. He missed her, he missed her kisses, her smile, her dimples, her sunny outlook . . . but he couldn’t get past the part where she lied. How she thought he was broken and needed fixing.
That still hurt, and it was going to take more than a few nights’ sleep to get over. “Don’t talk to me about Sage,” he told them. “That’s private.”
“You’re new to this town, so I’m gonna let you in on a secret—not much is private around Painted Barrel,” Dustin said with a wry grin. “Might wanna get used to that.”
“You mean like the part where someone set me up with an emotional support dog without my knowledge?” he lashed out.
“Ah,” said Dustin.
“That why you and Sage broke up?” Eli asked, frowning at him.
“I can’t be with someone I can’t trust. Someone that doesn’t have my back,” Jason said.
“You dumbass.” Eli gave Jason an incredulous look. “That’s why you’re both so miserable?” He shook his head. “That’s just plain stupid. She’s a great girl.”
“And she’s always had your back,” Dustin added, glaring at Jason as if he were the one in the wrong.
“Nice try,” Jason said, hating that his heart ached. “It’s pretty clear to me that Sage means well, but it doesn’t mean her actions don’t have consequences. I wanted to take this job so no one knew I had PTSD.”
“You dumbass,” Eli said again. “She’s the only reason you still have this job. When you got here on day one it was obvious you didn’t know what the hell you were doing.”
“And that you’d never sat on a horse before,” Dustin added.
“You were sweating like a pig and got all nervous every time someone said something. Kept looking around like you expected an attack. We thought you were on something and were about to give you the boot, but Cass felt sorry for you and went to talk to Sage, instead. Sage refused to tell her anything about you. She wouldn’t betray you and she had your back. It was only when Cass said that you were gonna get fired that she mentioned what the real problem was.”
Dustin nodded. “Cass twisted her arm. We haven’t said anything to anyone else in town, either. Sage was heartbroken to spill your secret, but she also didn’t want you to lose your job. She just was in a bad position.”
Jason swallowed hard. Sage . . . hadn’t wanted to betray him?
“And I’m not gonna apologize for what my wife did,” Eli said gruffly. “We have babies in the house and have to think of their safety. We thought you might be dangerous, especially with the sneaking out and circling the house. Look at it from our perspective.”
He knew what they were saying was the truth. Hadn’t he been fired from other jobs in the past because he’d made other workers nervous with his obsessive patrolling? He knew he got nervous and sweaty when he was in the throes of stress. It was hard to look at it from the outside and realize maybe, just maybe, his anger was misplaced. “I see.”
“You probably don’t wanna hear this right now,” Dustin said, “but Sage is a good girl. Everything she’s done for you, she’s done probably because she genuinely wants you to succeed. I’ve never met someone with such a big heart, and I just don’t think you should throw her away.”
Eli nodded.
They didn’t know the half of it, either. They didn’t know how she’d worked with him that entire first weekend, determined to teach him as much as she could about working on a ranch. They didn’t know how many times she’d quietly steered him out of a situation that made his anxiety flare. She’d always been there for him . . . which was why her betrayal had cut so deep.
But if Cass had basically forced her to choose between his keeping his job and sharing his secret . . . he supposed she chose the right thing. “I need to think about this for a while.”
“If you don’t want to work here, that’s fine,” Eli said. “If you don’t want Achilles, that’s fine, too. We’ll find him a home. But Sage deserves better than this.”
“I’m keeping Achilles,” Jason said gruffly, and he scowled when Dustin just grinned as if pleased. “And I’d like to stay on here, if you’d have me.”
“You can’t ride for shit but you work hard,” Eli said flatly. “We’ve made cowboys out of worse.”
Jason snorted, biting back a laugh. “Thanks, I think.”
Dustin just shook his head, smiling. “You think about what we said . . . just don’t think too hard or wait too long, because you know that Greg asshole is just waiting to make a move.”
He knew Dustin was right . . . and he didn’t like it. Sage was amazing and kind, but she also had a big blind spot when it came to Greg.
And Greg was a damn user. He’d see this as an opportunity to get “his” woman back.
Jason would just have to go over and talk to her. See if they could work this out between them, because even though he hurt and felt betrayed . . . he still loved her. And the thought of Greg muscling in and stealing her away made him crazy.
Sage was his. It had taken a hard talk from Dustin and Eli to make him realize that . . . Now he needed to make her realize that, too.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
When a vehicle pulled up to Sage’s house an hour before she was suppo
sed to meet with Greg, her heart skipped a beat.
Please be Jason. Please be Jason.
Maybe it was just a fantasy that she hoped he would show up, flowers in his arms, telling her that he loved her and he forgave her for not keeping his secret. That he couldn’t live without her. That everything was meaningless unless she was in his arms. Smoothing her hair, she rushed to the door, hope brimming in every pore.
But the truck that pulled up was Greg’s flashy yellow oversize pickup, not Jason’s plain gray compact truck. She sagged with defeat, fighting back the tears that threatened.
It had been a nice fantasy for the brief moment it existed. Ah well.
Greg hopped out of the truck and strode up to her house, and Sage couldn’t help but notice that he was wearing a button-up shirt and jacket, and instead of approaching, he went to the far side of his truck and opened the door, then pulled out an enormous bouquet. When he came closer, she could smell his cologne.
Oh no. Her fantasy was quickly turning into a nightmare. “Hi, Greg,” she managed, giving him a faint, watery smile. “Come on in. The flowers will look great in the main dining if you’re taking pictures tonight.” She’d been cleaning all day in preparation for this, but now that it was here, she just ached. Soon her home wouldn’t be her home anymore.
“The flowers are for you, beautiful,” Greg said, thrusting them into her arms. He frowned at the sight of her face. “Why is your nose so red? And your eyes are all puffy, too.”
So much for the “beautiful.” Sage would have laughed if she wasn’t so danged sad. “That’s what happens when you cry.” Her nose was raw and she was clogged up from all the tears. It definitely wasn’t her sexiest moment, but then again, she hadn’t invited Greg over for that anyhow. She just wanted to get the house up for sale, finish her business here in Painted Barrel, and lick her wounds somewhere else. Maybe Seattle. Maybe Boston. Maybe Tampa. Who knew?
“Don’t be sad,” Greg told her, moving in for a hug.
She held the flowers between them, blocking him off. “You’re not here to hit on me, are you?”
“Sage,” he said, exasperated. “You and I are friends.”
Her shoulders eased a little at that. “You’re right. Sorry.”
“But it doesn’t mean we can’t be more. I know you’re hurting right now, but I want to tell you . . . I’ll wait.” He put his hands on her shoulders. “I’ll wait, Sage.”
Oh brother. She shrugged his hands off. “Greg. You and I are never happening—”
“But Becca and I are done. And since you and Jason are done, this seems like fate, doesn’t it?”
No, it just seemed like the world’s most awful irony. “I’m selling the ranch and leaving Wyoming, Greg. For good.”
His brows furrowed. “But . . . I can’t leave Wyoming. My real estate license is here.”
You weren’t invited, she wanted to say, but she just shook her head. “I’m going to start over fresh somewhere else. This is just about the house, Greg. It’s not about me looking for a rebound.”
“It’s not?” He really did sound surprised. “I thought . . .”
“No.”
“But . . .”
“No.”
“Sage . . .”
“Still no.”
Greg sighed. “I broke up with Becca for you, Sage.”
“No.” She kept her voice firm. “You broke up with Becca for you. Don’t pin that shit on me.”
His eyes widened. “I’ve never heard you cuss.”
“It’s something I’m working on.” Jason would have been proud of her salty mouth . . . and that just made her feel like crying all over again. “So what do I need to fill out for the ranch sale?”
Greg looked embarrassed. “Ah, I didn’t really think that was why you were inviting me over, so I didn’t bring the paperwork.”
What? “But you said you were bringing it.”
“I thought it was a ploy to get me to your place so we could have some alone time.”
Ugh. Flowers or not, she was suddenly sick of him. “You know what, Greg? This isn’t working for me. You’re clearly not taking this seriously, so maybe I’ll find someone else.” She thrust the flowers onto the nearest surface and went back to the door. “I’ll see you around town.”
“No, Sage, wait—”
Screw waiting. She opened the door, intending to show him out—
And there was Jason on her porch, his cowboy hat dusted with snow. Achilles was at his feet, wearing his red bandana, and Jason was leaning in, one hand up as if about to knock.
“Hi,” he said softly.
Oh. She sagged against the door, so full of longing that her entire body felt heavy with it. “Jason . . . what are you doing here?”
“I wanted to talk to you,” he said quietly. “Is this a bad time?” He looked over her shoulder, and then his eyes narrowed.
She turned and saw Greg standing behind her, his arms crossed. Oh no. Oh no, he was going to think she was replacing him with her old crush. Oh god, this was a nightmare that just never ended. “Greg was just leaving,” she blurted.
“Sage,” Greg whined again.
“No, you’re leaving. We can talk about the ranch some other time.” Her voice was firm as she gestured at the door. Jason’s expression changed to one of relief, and a hint of a smile curved his mouth. He stepped to the side as Greg shoved his hands in his pockets and stormed out the door.
She almost felt bad. Almost.
Jason remained quiet until Greg got in his truck and drove away. He glanced over at her. “Did I smell cologne on him?”
“Unfortunately.” She sighed. “That did not go as I planned.”
Jason’s gaze grew intense as he watched her. “I saw him here and thought for a moment that maybe you’d already moved on from me.”
Sage wanted to weep all over again. It did look like that, didn’t it? “I called him here because I told him I wanted to put the ranch on the market now.”
“You do? I thought things were slow in the winter?”
“There’s no reason for me to stay,” she whispered, her voice breaking. It was difficult to have a normal conversation with him, especially when he was so damn gorgeous looming over her, all lean and hard and sexy.
“I don’t want you to go,” Jason said suddenly. He reached out and caressed her cheek, brushing his fingers over her face. “Sage, talk to me first. Let’s work this out before you make any decisions, all right?”
“You want to work things out?” Her lips parted in surprise. “With me?”
“Well, yeah.” His throat worked. “I love you, Sage.”
She sagged against the door, her knees unable to support her.
He reached out and put a hand to her waist, holding her steady. “Come here, sweetheart,” he murmured, pulling her against him. He pressed a kiss to her brow and held her close. “I’m sorry.”
Hot tears flooded her eyes for what felt like the millionth time. “Why are you sorry? I’m the one who betrayed your trust—”
“But I should have known you’d have a good reason. That you wouldn’t try to fix me. I should have had more faith in you.” Jason pressed another kiss to her brow, then another. “I need to explain—”
“It’s okay,” she said quickly. She was just so relieved that he didn’t hate her.
“It’s not okay. I need to tell you this so you understand.” He cupped her face and tilted her gaze up to meet his eyes. “I was just so mad at the world I couldn’t see straight. It was like I was losing everything I had all over again and I was powerless to stop it. I was going to lose my job and lose my woman, and then I’d lose everything.” She shook her head, but he continued before she could speak. “I always react out of fear. It’s fight or flight with post-traumatic stress, and I went too quickly to ‘fight.’ I talked to Dustin and Eli, and
they warned me that I was going to lose you, and I realized that I didn’t care about any of that as long as I had you in my life. That you were the only person who had always believed in me and that you’d supported me even in my worst moments. I still think of that first time I saw you in the municipal office. I showed up on your doorstep sweating and in a panic, and you just made me feel like that sort of thing happened to everyone. That I wasn’t a weirdo.”
“You’re not weird—”
“Not to you. Never to you. That’s just one of many reasons why I fell in love with you. Even if you can’t forgive me, don’t go back to Greg. You deserve better than him, sweetheart.”
“I don’t want anyone but you, Jason. I love you. That hasn’t changed. I’m just so sorry I hurt you.”
He pulled her close in a tight hug. “Eli told me that Cass forced you to speak up because she threatened my job. I can’t hold that against you. You were trying to protect me.”
“I don’t think you’re broken,” she told him softly, holding on as if she never wanted to let go. “I just didn’t want you to lose your job over something that’s not your fault. Because you know this isn’t, right? It’s not something you can help. No one would choose this. You’re braver than anyone I’ve ever met because you fight it every day and get through it.” She buried her face against his chest, and he put a hand to her hair, holding her against him. “Don’t you ever think badly of yourself ever again.”
“Are you really selling the house?” Jason asked softly, stroking her hair.
Her breath caught in her throat. “I can’t be here without you,” she admitted.
“Then be here with me. Just don’t leave me.”
Her fantasy was coming true after all. “Tell me this is real. That you’re really here.” She closed her eyes. If she was dreaming, she didn’t want to wake up.
“I’m here,” he said softly. “Somewhat cranky at Greg, somewhat mad at myself for all these days apart. And wondering what I need to do to make it up to you.”
A Cowboy Under the Mistletoe Page 24
