by Dark Angel
I put the vegetables on a pan with some olive oil and I turn on the stove.
I have another scotch and think back to how I would have probably fucking kicked myself in the nuts if I ever go back in time and tell myself what I’m doing now.
But fuck it, I have bigger plans.
Bigger goals.
I’d tell you what they are but my doorbell rings again.
That’s odd. It’s a bit early for Brittney to be coming already.
I’m still wearing the apron I put on while cooking and I go to the door.
Yes, I was wearing an apron, okay? I just didn’t fucking tell you because…I mean, it’s not important, is it? I still got the abs underneath. I still got the fucking cock.
And no, I am not fucking taking off the apron to open the door. Not even if it’s…
Cheryl.
She raises her eyebrows at me as she sees me holding a cooking spoon with an apron.
“Do I even want to know what kind of weird sex game you’ve got going on?” Cheryl asks as she walks in. I turn around to give her room and she looks around as she comes inside.
She sniffs the air. “What’s that smell?” Cheryl asks me, turning to me and narrowing her eyes.
I shrug.
“Are you cooking?” she asks me.
“So what if I fucking am?” I snap back to her.
Cheryl smiles. “I’m just asking Ethan, it’s okay,” she tells me and takes a step over. “Expecting guests?”
I nod as I close the door and head to the kitchen. I need my scotch.
“Who?” Cheryl asks, as she follows me.
“Just someone I know,” I reply, not sure how to answer.
Okay, I’m going to be honest with you, okay?
It’s not that I don’t know how to say Brittney is coming over.
It’s that I’m not sure why all of a sudden it’s that I don’t want to say Brittney is coming over. I’m a bit worried about…what?
But Cheryl must fucking read my mind or something.
“Is it someone you work with perhaps, hmm?” Cheryl asks, taking a step closer to me. “Someone maybe you hired to be the face for Illicit Entertainment?”
I look toward Cheryl.
“You have Brittney coming over, don’t you?” Cheryl asks me, her eyes narrowing. “You’re cooking dinner for that woman.”
“Does it matter?” I ask with a sigh and turn to face Cheryl. I’m not sure if what I’m doing is the best course of action, but I’m sure as fuck not embarrassed about it. But enough is enough.
“Do you know anything about that woman, Ethan?” Cheryl asks me sharply. “Do you know anything about what you look like when you’re around her?”
I stare at Cheryl as she continues.
“She’s changing you right in front of my eyes,” Cheryl says. “You used to be an asshole, now look at yourself. Cooking dinner.”
“I can still take care of things that need to be done,” I tell Cheryl and take off my apron and grab my glass of scotch and walk out of the kitchen.
Fuck, did you just hear what that sounded like? Did I just fucking say take off my apron?
And I’m supposed to be the bad boy? Jesus fucking Christ.
“You can’t walk away from this Ethan,” Cheryl says, following me out. “There are thousands of employees who depend on your leadership, and if you’re placing it in danger by falling for that woman it’s my job to look out for you…and them,” Cheryl tells me as she follows me out.
“I’m not walking away from it, Cheryl,” I tell her coldly as I go toward the door, open it, and turn to her. “I’m showing you out so I can enjoy my evening in peace.”
Cheryl looks at me and pauses. Finally she sighs.
“I can only try to keep warning you, Ethan,” she tells me. “You may think you’re following your heart, but you could just as easily be getting played. Don’t forget how you know her in the first place.”
And with that piece of profound advice, Cheryl turns around and walks into the open elevator as the doors close.
Fuck.
I know she’s right. I should probably be a bit more careful.
If only I could stop thinking about Brittney for a moment, I might have a chance to listen to my fucking brain.
105
Brittney
"I'm not sure that's a good idea, Walter,” I say from the back seat of the limo as Walter drives me towards Illicit Escape.
We’re weaving our way towards Times Square. It’s been two days since I went over to see Ethan, have dinner at his place, and fuck his brains out.
"Are you forgetting that we have a job to finish here?" he asks. He's looking me straight in the eyes with a serious gaze.
Since I stole the data from Ethan’s office, there have been four software upgrades. The data I had was junk literally 24 hours after I had it. I gave the USB device to Simon yesterday who tried to run it on his computer in his office before throwing it against the wall and then getting up and stomping it.
"I know; I haven't forgotten," I say thinking back to Simon’s frustration yesterday and threats to give Robert a call. "But did you forget the icy tone in Cheryl's voice in his office? She's onto me. She isn't messing around. If she finds out what we've done; I'm in serious trouble. This won't be some little slap on the wrist. I'll do prison time, Walter. I mean, you saw the NDA I signed, right?" I say. By the look in my eyes, he knows I'm serious too, but he then tries to lighten the situation.
"You're being paranoid," Walter says. "That's all. You're letting the stress get to you, darling. This is a big job. I get it. But buck up. This job is nearly done. You've done tougher things in the past. Are you forgetting all of your past clients? I honestly don't know why you're letting this job get to you … more so than anything else you've done. Let's just finish this now."
Those words make my mood sink even lower. The job's almost complete. I know what you’re thinking. How can the job be over if the data I stole is now junk?
I’ll tell you why.
I’m inside.
I’ the face of Illicit Escape.
So what the data I stole has gone bad?
I can try again. And if I don’t succeed, I can maybe try again. And if I still don’t succeed, I can even at the end steal the physical prototype somehow.
Yeah, don’t roll your eyes, hun. What I’m trying to say is that there are options.
I should be happy. Walter's right. I will have made more money than I've made with a single client before, and I'll be safe from Robert. This is just one job of many. You'd think these facts alone would have me finding Simon and throwing the I.E. data straight into the palm of his hand and calling it a day.
But that's not how I'm feeling. That's not exactly what I want to do. Are you following?
This is new territory for me. I've always been able to handle any job. But I may have just met my match. Maybe I bit off more than I can handle with this one. But did I have a choice? Simon basically threatened my life if I didn't take this on.
How can I explain any of this to Walter? He'd just say that I'm overanalyzing things.
He's known me forever. He'd just keep telling me to relax.
He'd also say I'm not thinking clearly. That I need to take a deep breath and steady my thoughts. Get my head screwed back on straight. To stop being a 'negative Nancy' in that off English accent of his.
The car stops outside the Illicit Entertainment offices in Times Square and Walter gets out to open my door.
"Okay, here you are darling," Walter says. We are both standing outside the Illicit Entertainment headquarters. "While you're in your shoot, I'll make my way to Ethan's office and plant the bugs; I have three—one underneath his desk, one behind a wall socket, and one buried in this potted plant here. I added a nice note from you, for a bit of realism. He'll never suspect a thing."
I look at the plant in Walter's arm. It's a potted plant with a pink ribbon around its pot and a card that reads simply, "Love Brittney." Shit. T
hat makes me feel awful.
"Do we really have to plant these bugs?" I ask.
"To get this job done, yes," he says. "I could potentially install a shotgun mic outside of his office window, and it's very good at recording conversations, but given the fact that his office isn't on the ground floor, that wouldn't be practical. In fact, I'm not even sure that's possible."
I nod to Walter. My insides are in knots. Literal knots that make me want to curl up in a ball, or maybe under a rock. I feel sick. How did I end up in this situation?
I feel like one of the worst possible people on the planet for what I'm about to do to Ethan. I know he has this bad boy image, but underneath it all, he's a good guy. It's true. He doesn't deserve this. All of these thoughts are going through my mind as I stand here in the Illicit Entertainment lobby and wait for the elevator.
Can I actually go through with this? Should I tell Ethan what I've been up to? Sure, he may refuse to talk to me ever again after he finds out—I may never see him again, and I wouldn't blame him. And that's the price I'd have to pay. But maybe he wouldn't react that way. Maybe he'd respect me for coming clean. For realizing the whole thing was wrong. Maybe if he knew how I ended up here, he'd understand.
Suddenly, the elevator opens. I turn my body, facing forward, and I see Cheryl. Her wavy brown hair seems to have a shine to it now; it seems more golden. Is it the lighting down here? She looks over at me and smiles. I smile back.
What kind of a smile was that? I wonder. One minute, she's giving me an icy stare and is interrogating me in the computer room—her eyes gazing at me like they could burn a hole right through me, and now this? She smiled at me as if she has received some sort of validation. Has she come to some sort of realization? My brain is working in overdrive trying to figure out what exactly that smile was all about.
Then, she speaks. "See you at tomorrow's shoot."
It was all so cordial and happy. Where did all of her icy unease disappear to?
"Wait… actually, can I ask a big favor?" she says, looking at Walter and I.
We both look at each other and back at her, and I say, "Sure."
"Is there any way Walter could take me home?" Cheryl asks. "It would really save me from having to get a cab. I'd really appreciate it."
I look at Walter and he looks at me.
"I don't see why not," I say.
"It's no problem, just tell me where to go," Walter says. "I'm assuming you live nearby?"
Cheryl smiles again. "It's not too far. Thank you so much; you're saving me quite a bit of hassle today."
We all walk out of the lobby and to the limo. Walter holds the door open for us and Cheryl and I both scoot into the long, black leather seat. "I could get used to sitting in this every day," she jokes.
Walter drives her to her apartment and I notice that she lives close to Ethan. When she leaves, I'm struck with a thought and I turn to Walter.
I say, "Drive me to Ethan's apartment."
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Walter asks. He has a look of concern flash across his face. I guess I can understand where he's coming from. I've been an emotional rollercoaster today.
"Yes," I say. "I need to see him."
"Okay, anything you say," Walter replies, and he drives to One57. When we pull up to the massive building, I nearly jump out.
"Thank you Walter," I say. "I'll call you in a little bit."
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do, darling."
I give him a wink and enter the building. I take the elevator to Ethan's floor, and the higher up I travel, the more nervous energy I have. I find myself pacing back and forth in the elevator until the doors slide open and I walk into the hall, directly facing Ethan's apartment. I get the courage to walk forward and I knock. At first, I don't hear a sound, and then I hear his footsteps approaching.
He opens the door.
I see his cobalt blue eyes and that smile.
"I was hoping you'd come," he says. "I have a surprise for you."
Just standing her in front of him. Just seeing him. A flood of emotion runs through me. Is what I'm feeling real? Is this just lust, or something else?
If what I'm feeling turns out to be real … I'll have to tell him.
I'll have to come clean.
106
Ethan
I’m sitting on the balcony watching something on my tablet. It’s pretty engrossing and I don’t even notice the sounds of the New York City traffic below.
What?
No, you can’t see what I’m looking at.
I think that I already fucking share enough with you as it is, you know? It’s nothing personal. It’s just something that I want to keep to myself for now. I’m sure later on you’ll find out in time.
But let me just tell you one thing.
What’s on this fucking tablet is explosive. I mean, if you saw it, you would probably be fucking pissed at me. Maybe you’d tell me to do something that I’m not prepared to do right now. This book would be over because I’d walk the fuck away if you told me that.
Yes, fine. It has to do with Brittney, but that’s all you’re getting out of me, babe.
Besides I can’t answer any more. Don’t you hear the doorbell? She’s here.
I go inside, make sure to turn off my tablet and put it on the table before opening the door.
She’s standing there in a slinky black strapless dress that comes down five inches above her knees.
It's fucking classy and sexy at the same time. I don't even know how it's fucking possible but it makes me want to hold her close and protect her while ripping it off and fucking her at the same goddamn time.
Her face is made up and it’s beautiful. But my dick would be as hard as it is now if she had no makeup on.
God, I need to get a hold of myself.
"I was hoping you'd come," I say. "I have a surprise for you."
She looks at me like she’s seen a ghost.
“Come on in,” I tell her and she walks by. I turn to look at her ass as she walks by. That dress is tight around the ass and I watch those cheeks as they flex as she walks. Fucking Christ, I’m fucking hard already.
You’re shaking your fucking head at me, huh? I know. Don’t think I can’t see you. Yeah, I’m not ashamed or anything. Fuck that. I want to squeeze that ass. Rub it and knead it. Like fucking dough. I want to run my cock over it. Stick it in between those ass cheeks. I want to smack that fucking ass.
Then when I’m ready I want to fucking cum all over.
Mark it as mine.
Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I take a step over toward Brittney. The look in my eyes should probably tell her what I'm going to do to her—how I’m going to take her like the fucking savage beast that I am.
“Ethan,” she says to me, and I automatically hear something in her voice that makes me stop. “I need to tell you something.”
Fuck.
Outwardly, I’m calm. My brain may be consumed by lust, but you can’t tell looking at me from the outside. Sure, maybe if you grab my cock, you can tell. But if you’re doing that, then you’re probably thinking the same thing as I am.
Why am I all of a sudden like this? That’s what you want to know, isn't it?
Because of what I saw on the fucking tablet.
Yeah, the same thing I can’t tell you about yet.
Don’t pout. I just had to fucking do that. I’m going to fucking miss you when this book is over; you know that, don’t you?
Anyways, we’re far from done now, because Brittney is looking at me and I can tell she’s starting to waver in whatever she had committed to doing.
“Let’s sit down,” I tell her, and I take her hand and lead her to the sofa where I sit her down next to me.
I can smell her fucking perfume. It’s fucking addictive and it makes my nostrils flare up.
“What did you want to tell me?” I ask, looking at her.
Brittney looks down.
“Hey,” I tell her. “You can tell
me anything.”
“It’s just a secret that I’ve been keeping from you,” she tells me. I nod. Every one of us has fucking secrets. That’s nothing new.
If you want to know my secrets, you’ll go turn on that tablet. But you can’t.
Yeah, I’m an asshole sometimes. I know.
“Babe, it’s okay,” I tell her, holding her chin with my hand and lifting her face. “You can tell me anything, but you don’t have to tell me everything.”
Brittney looks at me for a second. “You know I used to do porn, right?” she asks me.
I nod. I mean, I never outright asked her specifically if she used to be a porn star, but it was always something I suspected. And there was something about her face that seems kind of familiar…
“I always thought,” I say still nodding, “But I never really knew for sure.”
“I lived in Los Angeles for the longest time and I sort of drifted into the business,” she tells me, looking at me intently, seeing what my reaction is going to be. “I came to New York to get away from it.”
“Well, you seemed to do a good job of that, babe,” I tell her, smiling a bit to show her that it’s okay. I can tell she's fucking on edge—looking to see any sign of me being upset. “You’re going to be the first Illicit Escape girl. I don't know if that’s leaving the business entirely.”
“But that’s not what I thought I’d be doing when I came to New York,” she tells me, and she scoots closer. “I honestly thought I’d be leaving porn forever. I brought my assistant with me, Walter. And we set up a business together.”
I nod. Walter reminds me of Cheryl in a lot of ways from the few times I’ve seen him here and there as I’ve met Brittney.
“Okay,” I say, scooting a bit closer. “So you used to do porn. I’m in porn too,” I tell her.
“But it’s what I did afterwards, that I want to tell you about,” she tells me, struggling to get the words out.
“What did you do afterwards?” I ask, now getting genuinely interested.
