“I’d like to ask a few questions, your Majesty,” he said.
“Go ahead,” replied the King.
“These Oz people are quite good, are they not?”
“As good as apple pie,” said the King.
“And they are happy, I suppose?” continued the old Nome.
“Happy as the day is long,” said the King.
“And contented and prosperous?” inquired the Nome.
“Very much so,” said the King.
“Well, your Majesty,” remarked he of the white whiskers, “I think I should like to undertake the job, so I’ll be your General. I hate good people; I detest happy people; I’m opposed to any one who is contented and prosperous. That is why I am so fond of your Majesty. Make me your General and I’ll promise to conquer and destroy the Oz people. If I fail I’m ready to be sliced thin and fed to the seven-headed dogs.”
“Very good! Very good, indeed! That’s the way to talk!” cried Roquat the Red, who was greatly pleased. “What is your name, General?”
“I’m called Guph, your Majesty.”
“Well, Guph, come with me to my private cave, and we’ll talk it over.” Then he turned to the army. “Nomes and soldiers,” said he, “you are to obey the commands of General Guph until he becomes dog-feed. Any man who fails to obey his new General will be promptly thrown away. You are now dismissed.”
Guph went to the King’s private cave and sat down upon an amethyst chair and put his feet on the arm of the King’s ruby throne. Then he lighted his pipe and threw the live coal he had taken from his pocket upon the King’s left foot and puffed the smoke into the King’s eyes and made himself comfortable. For he was a wise old Nome, and he knew that the best way to get along with Roquat the Red was to show that he was not afraid of him.
“I’m ready for the talk, your Majesty,” he said.
The King coughed and looked at his new General fiercely.
“Do you not tremble to take such liberties with your monarch?” he asked.
“Oh no,” replied Guph, calmly, and he blew a wreath of smoke that curled around the King’s nose and made him sneeze. “You want to conquer the Emerald City, and I’m the only Nome in all your dominions who can conquer it. So you will be very careful not to hurt me until I have carried out your wishes. After that--”
“Well, what then?” inquired the King.
“Then you will be so grateful to me that you won’t care to hurt me,” replied the General.
“That is a very good argument,” said Roquat. “But suppose you fail?”
“Then it’s the slicing machine. I agree to that,” announced Guph. “But if you do as I tell you there will be no failure. The trouble with you, Roquat, is that you don’t think carefully enough. I do. You would go ahead and march through your tunnel into Oz, and get defeated and driven back. I won’t. And the reason I won’t is because when I march I’ll have all my plans made, and a host of allies to assist my Nomes.”
“What do you mean by that?” asked the King.
“I’ll explain, King Roquat. You’re going to attack a fairy country, and a mighty fairy country, too. They haven’t much of an army in Oz, but the Princess who ruled them has a fairy wand; and the little girl Dorothy has your Magic Belt; and at the North of the Emerald City lives a clever sorceress called Glinda the Good, who commands the spirits of the air. Also I have heard that there is a wonderful Wizard in Ozma’s palace, who is so skillful that people used to pay him money in America to see him perform. So you see it will be no easy thing to overcome all this magic.”
“We have fifty thousand soldiers!” cried the King proudly.
“Yes; but they are Nomes,” remarked Guph, taking a silk handkerchief from the King’s pocket and wiping his own pointed shoes with it. “Nomes are immortals, but they are not strong on magic. When you lost your famous Belt the greater part of your own power was gone from you. Against Ozma you and your Nomes would have no show at all.”
Roquat’s eyes flashed angrily.
“Then away you go to the slicing machine!” he cried.
“Not yet,” said the General, filling his pipe from the King’s private tobacco pouch.
“What do you propose to do?” asked the monarch.
“I propose to obtain the power we need,” answered Guph. “There are a good many evil creatures who have magic powers sufficient to destroy and conquer the Land of Oz. We will get them on our side, band them all together, and then take Ozma and her people by surprise. It’s all very simple and easy when you know how. Alone, we should be helpless to injure the Ruler of Oz, but with the aid of the evil powers we can summon we shall easily succeed.”
King Roquat was delighted with this idea, for he realized how clever it was.
“Surely, Guph, you are the greatest General I have ever had!” he exclaimed, his eyes sparkling with joy. “You must go at once and make arrangements with the evil powers to assist us, and meantime I’ll begin to dig the tunnel.”
“I thought you’d agree with me, Roquat,” replied the new General. “I’ll start this very afternoon to visit the Chief of the Whimsies.”
5. How Dorothy Became a Princess
When the people of the Emerald City heard that Dorothy had returned to them every one was eager to see her, for the little girl was a general favorite in the Land of Oz. From time to time some of the folk from the great outside world had found their way into this fairyland, but all except one had been companions of Dorothy and had turned out to be very agreeable people. The exception I speak of was the wonderful Wizard of Oz, a sleight-of-hand performer from Omaha who went up in a balloon and was carried by a current of air to the Emerald City. His queer and puzzling tricks made the people of Oz believe him a great wizard for a time, and he ruled over them until Dorothy arrived on her first visit and showed the Wizard to be a mere humbug. He was a gentle, kind-hearted little man, and Dorothy grew to like him afterward. When, after an absence, the Wizard returned to the Land of Oz, Ozma received him graciously and gave him a home in a part of the palace.
In addition to the Wizard two other personages from the outside world had been allowed to make their home in the Emerald City. The first was a quaint Shaggy Man, whom Ozma had made the Governor of the Royal Storehouses, and the second a Yellow Hen named Billina, who had a fine house in the gardens back of the palace, where she looked after a large family. Both these had been old comrades of Dorothy, so you see the little girl was quite an important personage in Oz, and the people thought she had brought them good luck, and loved her next best to Ozma. During her several visits this little girl had been the means of destroying two wicked witches who oppressed the people, and she had discovered a live scarecrow who was now one of the most popular personages in all the fairy country. With the Scarecrow’s help she had rescued Nick Chopper, a Tin Woodman, who had rusted in a lonely forest, and the tin man was now the Emperor of the Country of the Winkies and much beloved because of his kind heart. No wonder the people thought Dorothy had brought them good luck! Yet, strange as it may seem, she had accomplished all these wonders not because she was a fairy or had any magical powers whatever, but because she was a simple, sweet and true little girl who was honest to herself and to all whom she met. In this world in which we live simplicity and kindness are the only magic wands that work wonders, and in the Land of Oz Dorothy found these same qualities had won for her the love and admiration of the people. Indeed, the little girl had made many warm friends in the fairy country, and the only real grief the Ozites had ever experienced was when Dorothy left them and returned to her Kansas home.
Now she received a joyful welcome, although no one except Ozma knew at first that she had finally come to stay for good and all.
That evening Dorothy had many callers, and among them were such important people as Tiktok, a machine man who thought and spoke and moved by clockwork; her old companion the genial Shaggy Man; Jack Pumpkinhead, whose body was brush-wood and whose head was a ripe pumpkin with a face carved upon it; the
Cowardly Lion and the Hungry Tiger, two great beasts from the forest, who served Princess Ozma, and Professor H. M. Wogglebug, T.E. This wogglebug was a remarkable creature. He had once been a tiny little bug, crawling around in a school-room, but he was discovered and highly magnified so that he could be seen more plainly, and while in this magnified condition he had escaped. He had always remained big, and he dressed like a dandy and was so full of knowledge and information (which are distinct acquirements) that he had been made a Professor and the head of the Royal College.
Dorothy had a nice visit with these old friends, and also talked a long time with the Wizard, who was little and old and withered and dried up, but as merry and active as a child. Afterward, she went to see Billina’s fast-growing family of chicks.
Toto, Dorothy’s little black dog, also met with a cordial reception. Toto was an especial friend of the Shaggy Man, and he knew every one else. Being the only dog in the Land of Oz, he was highly respected by the people, who believed animals entitled to every consideration if they behaved themselves properly.
Dorothy had four lovely rooms in the palace, which were always reserved for her use and were called “Dorothy’s rooms.” These consisted of a beautiful sitting room, a dressing room, a dainty bedchamber and a big marble bathroom. And in these rooms were everything that heart could desire, placed there with loving thoughtfulness by Ozma for her little friend’s use. The royal dressmakers had the little girl’s measure, so they kept the closets in her dressing room filled with lovely dresses of every description and suitable for every occasion. No wonder Dorothy had refrained from bringing with her her old calico and gingham dresses! Here everything that was dear to a little girl’s heart was supplied in profusion, and nothing so rich and beautiful could ever have been found in the biggest department stores in America. Of course Dorothy enjoyed all these luxuries, and the only reason she had heretofore preferred to live in Kansas was because her uncle and aunt loved her and needed her with them.
Now, however, all was to be changed, and Dorothy was really more delighted to know that her dear relatives were to share in her good fortune and enjoy the delights of the Land of Oz, than she was to possess such luxury for herself.
Next morning, at Ozma’s request, Dorothy dressed herself in a pretty sky-blue gown of rich silk, trimmed with real pearls. The buckles of her shoes were set with pearls, too, and more of these priceless gems were on a lovely coronet which she wore upon her forehead. “For,” said her friend Ozma, “from this time forth, my dear, you must assume your rightful rank as a Princess of Oz, and being my chosen companion you must dress in a way befitting the dignity of your position.”
Dorothy agreed to this, although she knew that neither gowns nor jewels could make her anything else than the simple, unaffected little girl she had always been.
As soon as they had breakfasted--the girls eating together in Ozma’s pretty boudoir--the Ruler of Oz said:
“Now, dear friend, we will use the Magic Belt to transport your uncle and aunt from Kansas to the Emerald City. But I think it would be fitting, in receiving such distinguished guests, for us to sit in my Throne Room.”
“Oh, they’re not very ‘stinguished, Ozma,” said Dorothy. “They’re just plain people, like me.”
“Being your friends and relatives, Princess Dorothy, they are certainly distinguished,” replied the Ruler, with a smile.
“They--they won’t hardly know what to make of all your splendid furniture and things,” protested Dorothy, gravely. “It may scare ‘em to see your grand Throne Room, an’ p’raps we’d better go into the back yard, Ozma, where the cabbages grow an’ the chickens are playing. Then it would seem more natural to Uncle Henry and Aunt Em.”
“No; they shall first see me in my Throne Room,” replied Ozma, decidedly; and when she spoke in that tone Dorothy knew it was not wise to oppose her, for Ozma was accustomed to having her own way.
So together they went to the Throne Room, an immense domed chamber in the center of the palace. Here stood the royal throne, made of solid gold and encrusted with enough precious stones to stock a dozen jewelry stores in our country.
Ozma, who was wearing the Magic Belt, seated herself in the throne, and Dorothy sat at her feet. In the room were assembled many ladies and gentlemen of the court, clothed in rich apparel and wearing fine jewelry. Two immense animals squatted, one on each side of the throne--the Cowardly Lion and the Hungry Tiger. In a balcony high up in the dome an orchestra played sweet music, and beneath the dome two electric fountains sent sprays of colored perfumed water shooting up nearly as high as the arched ceiling.
“Are you ready, Dorothy?” asked the Ruler.
“I am,” replied Dorothy; “but I don’t know whether Aunt Em and Uncle Henry are ready.”
“That won’t matter,” declared Ozma. “The old life can have very little to interest them, and the sooner they begin the new life here the happier they will be. Here they come, my dear!”
As she spoke, there before the throne appeared Uncle Henry and Aunt Em, who for a moment stood motionless, glaring with white and startled faces at the scene that confronted them. If the ladies and gentlemen present had not been so polite I am sure they would have laughed at the two strangers.
Aunt Em had her calico dress skirt “tucked up,” and she wore a faded, blue-checked apron. Her hair was rather straggly and she had on a pair of Uncle Henry’s old slippers. In one hand she held a dish-towel and in the other a cracked earthenware plate, which she had been engaged in wiping when so suddenly transported to the Land of Oz.
Uncle Henry, when the summons came, had been out in the barn “doin’ chores.” He wore a ragged and much soiled straw hat, a checked shirt without any collar and blue overalls tucked into the tops of his old cowhide boots.
“By gum!” gasped Uncle Henry, looking around as if bewildered.
“Well, I swan!” gurgled Aunt Em in a hoarse, frightened voice. Then her eyes fell upon Dorothy, and she said: “D-d-d-don’t that look like our little girl--our Dorothy, Henry?”
“Hi, there--look out, Em!” exclaimed the old man, as Aunt Em advanced a step; “take care o’ the wild beastses, or you’re a goner!”
But now Dorothy sprang forward and embraced and kissed her aunt and uncle affectionately, afterward taking their hands in her own.
“Don’t be afraid,” she said to them. “You are now in the Land of Oz, where you are to live always, and be comfer’ble an’ happy. You’ll never have to worry over anything again, ‘cause there won’t be anything to worry about. And you owe it all to the kindness of my friend Princess Ozma.”
Here she led them before the throne and continued:
“Your Highness, this is Uncle Henry. And this is Aunt Em. They want to thank you for bringing them here from Kansas.”
Aunt Em tried to “slick” her hair, and she hid the dish-towel and dish under her apron while she bowed to the lovely Ozma. Uncle Henry took off his straw hat and held it awkwardly in his hands.
But the Ruler of Oz rose and came from her throne to greet her newly arrived guests, and she smiled as sweetly upon them as if they had been a king and queen.
“You are very welcome here, where I have brought you for Princess Dorothy’s sake,” she said, graciously, “and I hope you will be quite happy in your new home.” Then she turned to her courtiers, who were silently and gravely regarding the scene, and added: “I present to my people our Princess Dorothy’s beloved Uncle Henry and Aunt Em, who will hereafter be subjects of our kingdom. It will please me to have you show them every kindness and honor in your power, and to join me in making them happy and contented.”
Hearing this, all those assembled bowed low and respectfully to the old farmer and his wife, who bobbed their own heads in return.
“And now,” said Ozma to them, “Dorothy will show you the rooms prepared for you. I hope you will like them, and shall expect you to join me at luncheon.”
So Dorothy led her relatives away, and as soon as they were out of th
e Throne Room and alone in the corridor, Aunt Em squeezed Dorothy’s hand and said:
“Child, child! How in the world did we ever get here so quick? And is it all real? And are we to stay here, as she says? And what does it all mean, anyhow?”
Dorothy laughed.
“Why didn’t you tell us what you were goin’ to do?” inquired Uncle Henry, reproachfully. “If I’d known about it, I’d ‘a put on my Sunday clothes.”
“I’ll ‘splain ever’thing as soon as we get to your rooms,” promised Dorothy. “You’re in great luck, Uncle Henry and Aunt Em; an’ so am I! And oh! I’m so happy to have got you here, at last!”
As he walked by the little girl’s side, Uncle Henry stroked his whiskers thoughtfully. “‘Pears to me, Dorothy, we won’t make bang-up fairies,” he remarked.
“An’ my back hair looks like a fright!” wailed Aunt Em.
“Never mind,” returned the little girl, reassuringly. “You won’t have anything to do now but to look pretty, Aunt Em; an’ Uncle Henry won’t have to work till his back aches, that’s certain.”
“Sure?” they asked, wonderingly, and in the same breath.
“Course I’m sure,” said Dorothy. “You’re in the Fairyland of Oz, now; an’ what’s more, you belong to it!”
6. How Guph Visited the Whimsies
The new General of the Nome King’s army knew perfectly well that to fail in his plans meant death for him. Yet he was not at all anxious or worried. He hated every one who was good and longed to make all who were happy unhappy. Therefore he had accepted this dangerous position as General quite willingly, feeling sure in his evil mind that he would be able to do a lot of mischief and finally conquer the Land of Oz.
Yet Guph determined to be careful, and to lay his plans well, so as not to fail. He argued that only careless people fail in what they attempt to do.
Complete Works of L. Frank Baum Page 68
