Abrianna frowned. “You needn’t. I’m sure he’ll get around to it.”
The older woman frowned. “You sound less than enthusiastic for such a proposal.”
Abrianna put aside the book she’d been trying to read. “Aunt Miriam, do you believe that love changes everything?”
“In what way?”
“Well . . . in the way of friendship and everything you’ve known.” She wasn’t making sense, and she could see Aunt Miriam’s confusion. “Wade and I have been friends for as long as I can remember. Will marriage change that?”
Her aunt seemed to relax. “I believe marriage will change it for the better.”
“That’s what Lenore said, but I’m less than convinced. It seems to me that people are always talking about change being for the better, but I like things the way they are. I like knowing that Wade is who he is. Marriage will make him someone else.”
“It will make him a husband. That much is true. Are you afraid of that?”
“I don’t know,” Abrianna admitted. How could she explain all the worries in her heart? Lenore thought her silly, and no doubt Aunt Miriam would, as well.
“Perhaps you are worried about the marital rites between a man and woman. I realize we haven’t spoken of such things,” Aunt Miriam said without embarrassment. “Those things are better left unsaid until just before the wedding. A physical relationship between a man and woman after marriage can seem rather overwhelming, but I assure you . . . it is . . . well, not without its pleasures.”
Abrianna shook her head. “I’m sure I have much to learn about such things, but I wasn’t talking about that.” She got up and paced a bit. “Wade is my dearest friend. I love him and have for many, many years. Now, however, I find that I am also in love with him romantically. I never looked for such a thing to happen and I . . . I am afraid it will ruin what we have as friends.”
“How could that be?”
She stopped and looked at her aunt. “I don’t know. I just fear it will.”
“You are worrying needlessly, Abrianna. Mr. Madison and I were good friends before we wed. I found that marriage only furthered that relationship. It is a wonderful thing to marry your dearest friend. There is already a foundation of trust established. That foundation is perfect for building a life together.”
Abrianna sank down on the floor beside the older woman. Leaning her head on Aunt Miriam’s knee, Abrianna was reminded of being a little girl. “If only I could be sure.”
Aunt Miriam reached out and stroked Abrianna’s free curls. Other times her aunt would have admonished her for leaving her hair down, but this time she said nothing about it. “You should take all of these fears to the Lord. And perhaps to Wade, as well. I suppose it is possible that he might even have some of the same concerns. Whatever you do, don’t leave things unspoken. You will only regret it.”
Abrianna said nothing. Her aunt’s touch was soothing, and Abrianna didn’t want to break the mood of the moment. All of her life she had found comfort with Aunt Miriam and the others. She learned so much about the world through their lessons and gentle correction. They had been mother and father, friend and authority, and she loved them.
Aunt Miriam put her finger under Abrianna’s chin. Raising her face, Abrianna could see much tenderness in her aunt’s eyes. “You have blessed my life, child. Please do not fret. Wade loves you and you love him. Let that be enough for now. The rest will come in time. There will be arguments, just as you have now. There will be laughter, just as now. But above all, you will have each other in a way that you have never had anyone else. It is a precious and mysterious thing how love and marriage make man and woman one of heart and flesh. You will see. And it will fill you with wonder.”
Her words were comforting. Perhaps Abrianna had been silly to worry about her friendship with Wade being altered. Surely he would never do anything to hurt her. Not on purpose.
“Thank you, Aunt Miriam. Your words have done much to put my mind at ease. I know I can be rather intolerable at times. It’s part of my nature, I’m sure. But I am willing to receive counsel. Especially on this point.” She straightened, then rose. “It is hard to put aside my childish ways. I suppose the changes in life—not just the idea of marriage, but becoming a woman of my majority has overwhelmed me. Everything seems to be spinning out of my control.”
“Then give that control to God, Abrianna. It will be much better in His hands.”
“Yes. I know you are right.”
Aunt Miriam stood and smiled. “And while you’re at it, I would like you to seek Him on another matter.”
“What?”
“Poisie and Selma and I have talked often of how we would like for you to one day run this school.” She held up her hand. “Don’t say anything, just hear me out. We believe you and Wade would make a perfect team to do so. We’d very much like to be able to take our ease and live out our days quietly. If you were to take the school, we could do so.”
“You can do so, anyway,” Abrianna replied. “That money you gave me can just as well be returned to care for the three of you long into your years of infirmity.”
Aunt Miriam chuckled. “Well, I have no immediate plans for infirmity, but I do thank you for your concern. Your money is not needed. We have invested wisely for ourselves. We have lived frugally and practiced thrift at every turn.”
“Then why not simply close the school? We can all remain here. It’s a wonderful house, and perhaps Wade would like for us to remain here after we’re married. I think we could all be quite happy.”
“But I feel the school serves a very good purpose—a ministry. Look at all the couples we have seen joined together over the years. Would you doubt that God has used this school as a ministry for love?”
“No. I just doubt that I should ever run it. I do not feel qualified. You have even posed doubts about my ability to handle a household.”
“I suppose I have been rather harsh at times. But Abrianna, please do me—us—the favor of praying about it. Talk to Wade, as well.”
Abrianna gave a sigh. “Very well. I will do that, but please do not get your hopes up. I feel confident that my ministry is with the poor of spirit and means, not the poor of heart in search of romantic love.”
“Thank you. I will inform the others,” Aunt Miriam said. “And I will leave you to your book. Supper will be in one hour, and Wade said he hoped to be home in time to sit down with us. I’m sure you will want to enjoy an evening together, so I will not expect you to help with the meal or cleanup.”
“Thank you, Aunt Miriam.”
Her aunt gave a curt nod and left the room.
Abrianna thought of Wade, and a delicious shiver ran through her. The memory of his kiss left her with butterflies in her stomach. She loved him. She wanted nothing more than to be with him the rest of her life.
“I am such a ninny,” she whispered and hugged her arms around her body. “Growing up is a good thing. Change can be beneficial. And what I feel for Wade is definitely a beautiful thing.” Perhaps if she reminded herself of those things often, her fears would diminish and she would find peace.
4
With muscles stretched taut, Wade hoisted another armload of hubs and carried them to his worktable. “I can’t say that working from a tent is easy. Every night I have to load my tools and supplies back into the wagon to take home because of all the looting. I know the law is trying to keep things under control, but there are always those who want to help themselves.” He looked to his best friend, Thane Patton, and shook his head. “Not only that, but I’ve made more money working construction for other people than in getting my wainwright business back to where it was.”
“Maybe God is leading you in a different direction. Maybe construction is something He wants you to do. I know He’s taking me in a different direction.”
Wade put down a stack of felloes and gave Thane his full attention. “And what direction is that?”
“Militine and I are leaving Seattle. I wasn’t sure how to break t
he news to you, but I figure you and I both prefer just coming right out with it.”
The news took Wade by surprise. “But I thought you liked it here.”
“I do, but Militine would be happier if we got farther away from where she grew up. She’s always afraid of running into someone who knows her. I figured California might be the place to go. I wrote a letter to the fire chief in San Francisco and applied for a position of full-time fireman. I just got a letter back offering me a job.”
“Well, I’ll be. I have to say this isn’t at all what I expected.” He tried not to sound disapproving. “I hope you know what you’re doing. Making a big move like that won’t be easy.”
“It’ll be easy enough, since I lost most everything in the fire,” Thane said with a shrug. “Militine doesn’t have that much, either. We have a little bit of cash set aside from money given to us at the wedding, and with what I’ve been making working on the rebuilding, I think we’ll be just fine.”
“I’m sure you will be. You’ve always been able to take care of yourself. It’ll be hard not having you around, however. We’ve had a lot of years looking out for each other.”
Thane laughed. “That’s true enough. I know I’d be a lot worse for it if you hadn’t come to my rescue a few times.”
Wade shook his head with a smile. “As would I. You’ve kept me out of trouble more than once. It won’t be the same here without you.”
“Who knows, maybe you and Abrianna will want to relocate one day, as well. It would be great to have you join us there.”
“I don’t see that happening. Abrianna would fret about her aunts, and there’s the fact that her father just came back into her life.”
Thane nodded, his expression one of complete understanding. “Do you figure to live at the school after you’re married?”
Wade shook his head. “That isn’t what I want. I want a house of our own. I’m hoping Abrianna will feel the same way. I don’t think it would be all that comfortable to discover life as a married couple with all those folks looking over our shoulder.”
Thane laughed. “It hasn’t been easy for Militine and me, but we’ve made do.”
“So when do you plan to leave for San Francisco?”
“The end of next week.”
Wade pushed back his sweaty hair. “That soon, eh? Well, I suppose it’s just as well. You need to get out of here and settled before the weather turns.”
“We had hoped to be around when you and Abrianna got married. Have you set a date yet?”
Wade shook his head and went to retrieve another box of goods. “You wanna give me a hand?” Thane immediately came to his aid. Together they hoisted the crate atop the table. “Been so busy I haven’t even asked her father for his blessing. Fact is, I feel it’s probably more appropriate to ask the old ladies. Either way, I didn’t want to break with propriety. Abrianna knows that marriage is what I plan for us.”
“I know you’ll get their permission, whether it comes from one or all. Militine tells me the old ladies and Mr. Cunningham have had nothing but elated joy when talking about it. Seems they can’t think of two people who are more perfectly matched.”
Using a pry bar, Wade opened the crate. Inside were some of the tools he’d ordered to replace those lost in the fire. “I’m glad they feel that way.” He smiled at Thane and shook his head. “I don’t know if it would matter to me if they disapproved. I love her, and I can’t get her out of my thoughts.”
“I know how you feel. I’ve felt that way about Militine for a long time now. I remember you once asked me how I could be sure it was love. I suppose you understand the answer to that question now.”
Wade remembered the conversation. It seemed to have taken place years ago rather than just months. “I do, but I would be hard-pressed to explain it to anyone else.”
Thane laughed. “Exactly.”
“Well, I hoped I might find you here,” Brother Mitchell, the head elder of the church, announced as he entered Wade’s tent. “I’ve had to ask all over for directions. The city is in such disrepair, what with them widening and replatting the streets.”
“Come on in, Brother Mitchell. It’s good to see you. What can I do for you? Need a wagon repaired?” Wade put aside the tools he’d been pulling from the box.
“No, nothing wagon related, but there is something I need to talk to you about.”
Wade dusted off his hands. He couldn’t imagine what the elder wanted with him. “I wish I could offer you some refreshment, but I’m afraid I have nothing.”
“Not to worry. I’m here on business. Church business.”
As a deacon of the church, Wade often found himself brought into the confidences of the elders regarding church needs. “Is it all right if Thane stays?”
Brother Mitchell looked to Thane and nodded. “Of course. Although I would ask you both to keep this conversation confidential until a formal announcement can be made.”
“A formal announcement of what?” Wade asked.
“We elders met on several occasions and have spent a great deal of time in prayer on the matter of finding another pastor. We don’t want to feel rushed into a decision, as we did last time. But we have come to a decision. We would like to ask you to be our pastor in the interim while we search.”
“Me?” Wade couldn’t fathom why they would come to him. “I have no formal training.”
“But I have heard you lead the men in prayer and Bible study. I was present at several of your studies with the friendless. I can tell you now that the purpose at that time was for extending a request for you to take a position as elder.” He held up his hand, seeming to expect Wade’s protest. “I know you feel that being young and unmarried disqualifies you for a position of authority, but we have searched the Scriptures and find that not to be the case. In every situation we have seen only support for your placement. With this new need, we believe you perfect for the job. Besides, others in the congregation have suggested you for the position.”
“Me? But why?” This was all news to Wade. He looked to Thane, but he just shrugged.
“Folks liked the way you dealt with Pastor Walker. They felt you were led of the Lord. Not only that, but they know you, know that you’re honorable. They feel that God has His hand on you and you need to answer His call.”
“I have to say you’ve taken me by surprise. I have never thought of taking the pulpit as a profession or calling.”
“We only ask that you pray on the matter. And speak also to your intended.” He smiled. “I know Miss Cunningham’s heart for mission work. She has long presented herself as a strong woman of God.” His expression changed slightly to one of concern. “Although, I will say she has always been given to speaking first and rushing in to take charge of a matter. I suppose it could be a virtue in a man, but in a woman it oft feels disconcerting.”
Wade chuckled. “I’ll say. But as for prayer and speaking to Abrianna, I give you my word to do both. If God is directing me to help the church out in this manner, I want to do whatever I can. The church has been good to me, just as it was good to my folks. I owe the congregation that much.”
“Wonderful,” Brother Mitchell said, his face brightening. “I will tell the elders. We will anxiously await your decision.”
Wade shook the man’s hand. Once the elder left, Wade turned to Thane. “Well, what do you think of that?”
“Well, Pastor Ackerman,” Thane replied with a grin, “I think the Lord works in mysterious ways.”
“That He does,” Wade replied. Never in his life had he thought of taking on such a position. Never had he felt qualified, but of late he had to admit that God kept putting him in positions of teaching. “Maybe God’s taking me in a new direction, just as He has you and Militine.”
“What do you think Abrianna will say?”
Wade shrugged. “Who can ever tell what she’s going to say? For all the love I hold for her, I can’t begin to suppose I know what goes on inside that busy little head of hers.”
“Women can be a real mystery.”
“That they can.” Wade shook his head. “Especially when it comes to my future wife.”
Abrianna reached across several new rosebuds to reach one in full bloom. The pink rose gave off a scent so sweet that for a moment all she could do was inhale and enjoy the aroma. She touched the delicate petal, and for some reason her mother came to mind.
“I wish you were here to advise me,” she murmured. “I wish I could have known you.” Tears blurred her vision. At times, the loss of her mother was a dull ache, and other times it was a piercing pain—as it was now. For a moment Abrianna felt just as she had when she was a little girl awakening from a bad dream. There was a sense of fear and loss that caused her to tremble. Back then, one of her aunts would come and soothe her back to sleep with stories about her mother. But for this moment there was no one who could help her.
She buried her longing and wiped the tears. I would never want my aunts to think me ungrateful. It seems so ridiculous that I should desire what I cannot have, given the fact that God has blessed me with so much. What a selfish girl I can be. She glanced heavenward. Forgive me, Father.
“You have a lovely garden,” a woman said. Abrianna straightened to find Mrs. Snyder walking down the path. “I can’t remember seeing anything this nice in Tacoma.”
“My aunts are quite enthusiastic about flowers and keeping the grounds beautiful. When we were located downtown we had no opportunity to garden, and it very much vexed them. We haven’t been here all that long, but the former owners arranged these lovely gardens. My aunts have great plans for future weddings and parties on the lawn.”
“I think one would be quite fortunate to have a wedding here.”
Abrianna looked across the garden and nodded. “Yes, I believe I would like to be married here.”
“Are you engaged?”
“In a manner,” she replied and put the rose in the basket with the other flowers. “We haven’t made a formal announcement, but we have declared our love. Although I suppose a declaration of love isn’t a true commitment. Still, I feel that my declaration is a commitment and obligates me to put aside any other interests. Oh dear, I suppose obligate makes it sound as if I’m not at all pleased. Loving Wade isn’t at all an obligation, so please don’t misunderstand me.” She drew a breath and could see the woman’s confusion. Smiling, Abrianna offered an apology. “You’ll have to forgive me. I do tend to prattle on.”
Love Everlasting Page 4
