by Janet Woods
‘Janey!’
She sat up and gazed down at the college ... such a pretty place ... so much tension there. Linda stood at the gate, her eyes shaded against the sun with her hand. ‘Dad wants you.’
The smile slid from Janey’s face. Why was her father at the cottage mid-week? Her feet dragged as she made her way down the hill and the joy fled from the day.
Her father’s eyes blazed annoyance at her when she went inside. ‘Look at the state of this kitchen. You’re supposed to help with the housework when your mother goes for her check-up.’
Janey shot Linda a frown. ‘It’s Linda’s turn to do the kitchen. I cleaned the bathroom and made the beds before I went out.’
‘Liar,’ he snarled, ‘Linda had just finished making the beds when I arrived.’
Linda smiled her smug smile. She had obviously heard his car coming up the lane. ‘I expect Janey forgot. All she thinks about is her stupid drawing and painting.’
Janey wanted to hit her when her father snatched her sketchbook from under her arm. The anguished cry she gave did nothing to stop him. He stuffed the book into the firebox of the Aga. The pages blackened and curled, then little blue flames licked around the edges. It flared up briefly, becoming red and grey flakes that were sucked up the chimney.
‘It isn’t fair! It isn’t fair!’ She carefully hid her rage, but her hands curled into tight little fists against her skirt.
She was the recipient of a hard look. ‘Let that be a lesson to you; from now on you finish your chores before you go out. Is that understood?’
Janey worried her bottom lip with her teeth. It was easier to say nothing where her father was concerned. He wouldn’t believe her words over Linda’s anyway. Linda was lazy, and would do anything to get out of doing the housework. She would have been reading comics all morning.
‘Do you understand?’
She jumped, trying not to resist when he gripped her arms and dug his fingers into her flesh. Her chin lifted a fraction thought she kept her eyes lowered as she murmured, ‘Yes, father.’
‘Good.’ He thrust her against the table. ‘Linda is coming with me to the clinic in Poole, to pick up Pamela. Make sure the kitchen is clean by the time we get back ... and that includes scrubbing the floor.’
The kitchen was spotless when they arrived home. Her father grunted as he ran a finger over the surfaces. ‘Better than nothing, I suppose. See that it’s kept like that.’
Pamela looked pale and tired as she lowered herself into a chair.
‘Shall I make you a cup of tea?’ Janey offered.
‘Thanks, love, I don’t know what’s the matter with me lately.’
‘Nothing,’ Eddie said as Janey headed for the kitchen. ‘You’re having a perfectly normal pregnancy. I don’t know why you wanted her here. Madam was furious.’
Tears sprang to Pamela’s eyes. ‘I’m sorry Eddie. I feel so tired all the time.’
‘You ought to make Janey do more instead of letting her moon about all over the place.’
‘She does her best. Besides, she has her exams to study for. Mr. James said she has a good chance of getting a place at grammar school.’
‘It’s a waste of an education if you ask me. She’ll never amount to much with her head always in the clouds.’
‘I hope I won’t have to put up with her in my school,’ Linda said in the toffee-nosed voice she’d adopted since she’d boarded at the girls college. ‘It would be too embarrassing. Wendy thinks she’d stupid.’
‘I don’t see what that uppity little madam had got to be proud of. She can’t add two and two together, and neither can you.’
She had never heard her mother sound so snappish, and Janey grinned as she took the tea caddy down from the shelf. All Linda and Wendy did was talk about film stars, boys and makeup.’
She was always looking at herself in the mirror when she was home, inspecting her face for pimples, her armpits for hairs, or sticking out her chest and measuring it with a tape.’
‘Janey won’t be going to your school love,’ her father said. ‘If she doesn’t pass the exam she can go to the secondary school.’
‘And how’s she going to get there with me stuck in the country without a car.’
Janey held her breath. She had heard this argument before from Pamela, and is usually ended in a fight.’
But not this time, for her father gave an odd sounding laugh. ‘I’ve decided to let you have the Morris. I cashed in one of the investments and bought myself a new Zephyr. I’m picking it up in half an hour.’
Pamela was stunned, and an unbelieving smile edged across her face. ‘That’s wonderful Eddie. Thank you.’
As Janey set the table her father crossed to where Pamela sat and playfully patted her stomach. ‘Let’s hope you and my son can fit behind the wheel.’
‘Now don’t get your hopes up Eddie, the baby might be a girl.’
He scowled as he headed for the door. ‘It had better not be.’
‘You’re not going back tonight, are you, Eddie?’
‘Of course. Madam is going to Paris tomorrow. Hurry up and finish your tea and then you can drive me to the car yard. I’ll wait in the car.’
‘Oh, Eddie ... I’m that tired I could weep.’
She was fixed with a stare. ‘Don’t be so bloody selfish. You don’t expect me to walk, do you?’
‘Of course not Eddie. Couldn’t you ring for a taxi? I’ve got dinner to prepare and there’s the washing to get in.’
‘I haven’t got money to burn. Get off your fat backside and drive me into town, otherwise I might change my mind about the Morris.’
‘If Linda gets the washing off the line I’ll start on dinner,’ Janey offered.
Linda pouted. Moving to their father’s side she laid her head against his arm. ‘Can I come?’
He slid his around her and kissed the top of her head. ‘You’re my favorite girl, aren’t you?’
Janey fought to control the wave of hurt that engulfed her. Her lip curled, but not before she’d turned away from her father’s flat grey stare.
She sighed with relief when the car left with her father inside. The tension slowly evaporated. Her fingers uncurled from her palms, leaving tiny red marks where her nails had dug in. There was still a pain in her chest though, like a wound that never quite healed.
She closed her eyes for a moment. The silence seeped into her, held her close and comforted her. After a while she didn’t hurt any more.’
By the time Pamela returned she’d peeled some potatoes and put peas and carrots over the top of the pan. Fat pork sausages sizzled in the frying pan. The table was set and the washing neatly folded into the wicker basket, waiting to be ironed.
Pamela looked exhausted.
‘Where’s Linda?’
‘I met Mrs.. Brown. She invited Linda to stay the night with Wendy. She and her husband intends to take them to the cinema.’
‘Then there’s only us for dinner.’
The two of them exchanged a mutual smile.
Pamela kissed her cheek. ‘We’ll have an extra sausage each. After dinner, you can get on with your painting for the competition, and I’ll do the ironing.’
‘Dad threw my sketch book in the fire.’
‘I know, love. He didn’t mean it, I expect he was tired after the drive down from London.’ She placed a bag on the arm of the chair. ‘I bought you another one while I was in town, and a new box of paints. Those squirrels you drew were lovely, just like real ones. I bet you’ll win first prize in the competition.’
Janey wished Pamela would stop making excuses for her father’s behaviour. She gave her a hug. ‘You sit down and rest. The painting can wait. I’ll finish dinner and then I’ll do the ironing. It won’t take me long.’
‘You’re a good girl, Janey.’
She wanted to tell Pamela she loved her, but didn’t know how. She could only show it. She was going to paint the best picture she could, and if she won the prize she’d buy Pamela a prese
nt as well as the baby.
* * * *
Eddie didn’t go straight back to London. He drove his new Zephyr slowly round Poole Park, then parked and watched a couple of teenage girls feed the ducks on the pond. It was dusk when they split up, one heading towards the main entrance. The other took the path in the opposite direction, one that led to the back of the park. His eyes narrowed in on her, and he turned the key in the ignition.
When he arrived in London he was met by Sarah’s latest maid. She gave him an angry glance. ‘Madam’s in a right old mood ... Fetch this, fetch that! She’s had me at her beck and call all day. If she keeps this up I’m going to hand in my notice, just see if I don’t. I wasn’t hired to be her bloody slave.’
‘Anita,’ Sarah called out. ‘Fetch me a pot of tea, at once. This is lukewarm.’
‘I’ll do it ... you go about your business. I’m sorry I was late back. The traffic was heavy.’
‘Thank goodness you’re back,’ Sarah snapped when he carried in the fresh tea. ‘Where the hell did you hide my plane ticket?’
‘It’s with your passport.’
Sarah was propped against the pillows, her breasts straining against her negligee, her dark hair hanging around her pale face and shoulders. When his glance was drawn to the dark shadow at her groin she covered it and laughed. laughed.
‘You look like hell,’ he ground out.
Sarah gave a lazy laugh and relaxed. ‘I spend all of yesterday chairing the functions committee. They’re boring old farts. I had to pop a couple of uppers to stay awake during the meeting, then some downers to get to sleep. Now I feel like shit!’
‘My dear ... you are shit.’ He dropped a cellophane packet on the bed. ‘Try this as a pick-you-up.’
Her face dimpled into a smile. ‘You’re an angel Edward. What have you got lined up for me in Paris?’
‘Wait and see.’
‘How was dearest Pamela,’ she cooed. ‘I do so miss her still ... she was so docile, like a cow.’
‘Pamela is perfectly healthy. She took fright, that’s all.’
‘And the cuckoo in your nest, Le’enfant-terrible?’
‘Try your claws on someone else,’ Eddie ground out. ‘If you scratch me I’ll scratch back.’
‘Is that a threat?’
It was about time he put Sarah Wyman straight. ‘Allow me to explain it this way. I know too much about you for your own good.’
‘I see.’ Slipping out of bed she drifted towards him, gazing through flint-hard eyes. ‘Be careful Edward, that works two ways.’
Despite his unease he managed a faint smile. She was bluffing. ‘If you’re talking about the circumstances of my former wife’s death, it’s on public record.’
Sarah patted his cheek. ‘Poor Edward.’
He jerked away from her touch. ‘Is there anything else you want ... Madam.’
‘I doubt if you’re man enough to take it.’
He was tempted to slap her. One day she’d go too far, and when she did he’d show her whether he was man or not.
Turning, he strolled from the room, quietly pulling the door shut behind him. He leaned against the wall for a few minutes, taking a grip on himself. Sarah was trash. She wouldn’t get anyone else to pamper to her needs like he did, and it was about time she was made realized that.
He’d persuade her to show her appreciation now she’d had time to candy up – a nice little bonus wouldn’t go amiss. It would pay for his new car.’
* * * *
Pamela was restless. Two weeks to go. The baby’s head had engaged, the midwife had told her, and everything was proceeding as normal. All the same she felt lethargic and swollen. The day was overcast and humid, as it had been for days. Her back ached. She placed her hands against it, trying to ease into a cautious stretch and she gazed at the shabby lounge suite. She’d patched the covers of the chairs so many times there was hardly any of the original material left. It was a crying shame that Eddie kept her so short of money, especially now that she didn’t have her job to fall back on.
Going upstairs she opened the drawer containing the baby’s clothing and eyed the contents. Ada had knitted a complete layette in a shell design. As she fingered the delicate edging of the shawl she gave a watery smile. Ada had a good heart.
She tenderly caressed her stomach; her very own baby, at last. It had been an accident, for Eddie hardly touched her any more. Her smile faded. Her child should have been conceived by love, not anger. But that didn’t make any difference to her. She already loved her child, and nothing would change that.
The squeak of the gate and a knock at the door took her downstairs. Janey already? She must have forgotten her key.
She was surprised to find Phil Tyler on the doorstep, his wiry arms clasping a basket of fruit and vegetables. ‘These are for you, Missus. Mr. Wyman asked me to bring them over.’
‘That’s very nice of him. Thank you, Phil.’ She stood aside to let him through to the kitchen, where he deposited it on the kitchen table.
Removing her cap Phil gazed at her. ‘Ada’s put in a blackberry pie and some iced cakes for young Janey.’
Tears pricked her eyes. Everybody was being so kind. ‘Would you like a cup of tea?’
‘You sit down Missus. I’ll make it, and if you don’t mind me saying, you look done in.’
‘I’m just tired.’ To Pamela’s horror tears slid down her cheek. ‘I’m so sorry,’ she said, trying to dash them away with the tea towel. ‘I don’t know what’s come over me. It must be the weather making me depressed.’
‘Don’t you pay no mind to me.’ Phil placed an arm round her shoulders. ‘You have a good cry if that’s what you want. It’ll do you the power of good.’
So she sobbed like a baby against his chest. When she could cry no more she blew her nose and washed her face on the flannel he fetched from the bathroom.
She managed a wry smile. ‘You must think I’m stupid.’
He set a mug of tea in front of her. ‘If crying didn’t have a purpose nature wouldn’t have provided us with the equipment to produce tears, I reckon.’
‘I’ve never thought of it quite like that.’
‘People never do. They think they ought to be brave all the time.’ She jumped when lightning lit the room and struggled to her feet. ‘I’d better go and fetch Janey from school.’
‘Don’t you fret about young Janey, she’ll be coming through the door any minute.’
Just as he finished talking the door flew open and Janey bounded though it. She smiled widely when she saw Phil. ‘Mr. Gregory said he saw some badgers in his garden last night.’
Phil nodded. ‘Like as not. They’ve got a set in the thicket and the run would probably go through his garden.’
‘Will you show me where it is? I promise not to tell anyone else.’
A smile inched across Phil’s face. ‘We’ll have to go at dusk and wait until they come out of hiding.’
‘Not tonight, not with this storm brewing,’ Pamela said.
‘No, you rest easy Missus, some other time.’ He finished his tea and stood, cap in hand. ‘I’d best be off then. You look as though your time is near, so don’t you go overdoing things now.’
‘Thank you, Phil. I’m sure I’ll be all right. Eddie got the phone put on for me, and when the time comes I just have to ring the midwife. He said he’ll come straight down from London when I call.’
‘I’ll be off then.’
For some reason she couldn’t fathom, Pamela was reluctant to see him go. ‘How’s that boy of yours doing at grammar school?’
Griff’s going right nicely, I reckon. It’s university for him next year. He’d set his heart on being a doctor.’
‘You must be very proud of him.’
‘I am that. Thank goodness Lord William left me a little something to put by, otherwise I don’t know how we’d manage all the books he’ll need.’
‘Tell him I wish him good luck, and thank Mr. Wyman and Ada for me. I appreciate their kin
dness.’
‘Some folks are worth bothering with, and some ain’t,’ Phil said sagely as he placed his hat on his head and made his departure.
Pamela stared after him for a few seconds. ‘I always thought Phil was a bit strange, but he’s a nice man for all that. He told me you were home just before you came through the door.’
Janey laughed. ‘It might be his Romany blood, then again, he might have heard the gate squeak.’
Pamela chuckled. ‘Go and put the kettle on, love. I fancy another cup of tea and we’ll sample a couple of Ada’s fairy cakes.’
Janey gave her a closer look. ‘You’ve been crying.’
‘You don’t miss much, do you? The weather’s getting me down, and I feel fat.’
‘You are fat.’ Janey grinned at her. ‘I’m surprised you haven’t noticed it before. It’s the talk of the village.’
Pamela smoothed her hands over her stomach and both of them began to laugh.
‘Mr. Gregory has asked me to stay to lunch when I take my painting to him tomorrow,’ Janey said as she moved into the kitchen. ‘He said his sister and her husband will pick me up in her car, so you can meet them. Will that be all right? Mr. Gregory has a telephone, so you can call if you need me.’
‘I don’t see why not. Linda will be home.’
As if that would make any difference, Janey thought as she made the tea. Linda was useless, just making work for both of them.
* * * *
The storm didn’t eventuate that night, apart from a few warning grumbles of thunders and flickers of lightning. Pamela spent a restless night. Her back ached incessantly, and she couldn’t get comfortable.
Linda sulked when her request to go the Brown’s house was denied.
‘You can go tomorrow. I need you to help me today,’
‘Why can’t Janey stay home?’
‘Because she’d been invited out to lunch, and besides, Janey helps me all week when you’re at school.’
Linda had turned into a self-centred little madam,’ Pamela thought, feeling a flicker of dislike for the girl. She was pretty to look at, and dainty when set against Janey’s coltish frame. But then, Janey would possess a graceful elegance once she became a woman. And her gamine features would mature into a classic beauty. If she gave birth to a daughter she hoped it would resemble Janey rather than Linda.
