by Lucy Gordon
'She saw one of their posters on my studio wall.'
'I seem to remember your promising me that this wouldn't happen,' Daniel said, tight-lipped.
'I promised that I wouldn't send the pictures out, but I had no power to stop Phoebe doing anything she wanted.'
'You could have taken the poster down. Then she wouldn't have known how to go about this mad caper."
Lee groaned. 'Honestly, Daniel, I don't understand how you can know so little about Phoebe. Or rather, you do know her but you don't use what you know.'
They'd gone into the front room. Despite his temper Daniel poured Lee a glass of her favourite dry sherry. As she began to sip it he said, 'Are you going to explain that cryptic remark?'
'You told me yourself how determined Phoebe is. She's just like you as you must have been when you were fighting to get custody of her. Any other man would have given up, but not you. Not with that chin. Well, have a look at Phoebe's chin some time. You'll find it's like looking in the mirror.'
Daniel gave a faint grunt of laughter. He suppressed it at once and the scowl returned to his face, but Lee knew the comparison hadn't displeased him.
'What Phoebe wants, she wants,' Lee resumed. 'And what she wants is to be a model. You'd have to lock her up to stop her.'
Daniel didn't answer this directly. He left the room and went into his study. When he returned he was holding a paper which he held out to Lee. Her eyes widened as she read the contents.
'A scholarship to Oxford. Phoebe's a young genius,' she breathed. 'When did this arrive?'
'This morning, while Phoebe was out. When she came back she told me she'd spent the morning with Mulroy & Collitt, that they'd taken her on and that she was starting work as soon as possible.'
'Didn't this make any difference?'
'She said she wouldn't be seen dead at Oxford,' Daniel said bitterly.
Lee felt a pang of pity for him. His face was haggard at the memory of Phoebe's dismissive words. Daniel had dreamed of this moment for years, and now the daughter he adored had hurled it back in his face.
'Darling, I'm sorry,' Lee said helplessly. 'I think Phoebe's quite mad, but-'
'Well, I'm very interested to hear that,' he said with a return of anger, 'considering that you, more than anyone, have helped to bring about this disaster. Phoebe asked your advice. You could have put a stop to it, there and then-'
'By lying to her? By telling her she had no talent when she's actually one of the most dazzling girls I've seen in years? Oh, no, Daniel. Not even for you.'
'Thank you! That tells me where I stand, I suppose.'
'I warned you that I'd tell her the truth if she asked for it.'
'Lee, let me tell you something. When someone you love stabs you in the back, it is not made more acceptable by the fact that she warned you in advance.'
White-faced, Lee stared at him, wondering if this was the same gentle, endearing man she'd thought she knew. Daniel's face was hard and set with fury, and he'd quickly reached a stage where he no longer cared-or even knew-what he was saying.
'I'm not taking that from you,' she said at last. 'I've never stabbed you in the back and I'm damned if I'm going to stay here and be abused.' She slammed her glass down and turned to the door. 'You can call me when you feel able to talk in a civilised fashion.'
She'd got only two steps before Daniel's arm came out and stopped her. 'All right,' he said in a curt voice. 'I shouldn't have said that. I apologise.'
Lee turned back into the room. There was nothing else to do since Daniel was between her and the door. His apology hadn't improved the atmosphere since plainly it had only been a formality to prevent her leaving.
'You must see that I couldn't have lied to her about how good she is,' she said in a placating voice.
'It's a matter of opinion, isn't it?' Daniel said, tight-lipped. "You think she's talented-'
'So do Mulroy & Collitt, who've seen models come and go. And my opinion is a professional one. I have my ethics too, you know. Phoebe knew you were peering over my shoulder. If I'd given her the thumbs-down she'd simply have gone elsewhere for an unbiased opinion.'
He made a sound that was perilously near a snort.
'Be reasonable, Daniel,' Lee pleaded. 'You're so proud of her intelligence, you shouldn't be surprised if she uses it to get her own way-just as you do. You couldn't have stopped her discovering her own talents and nor should you try. You once talked about her fulfilling her potential, but she has more than one potential and you have no right to dictate to her which one she fulfils.'
'I'm acting for her own good-'
'That's a hoary old excuse. You should be ashamed to use it.' Lee stood back and regarded him wryly. 'The "women's champion" is a bit of a fraud really, isn't he?'
'For the love of heaven, will you forget all that stuff?' Daniel roared. 'This is reality. I'm not just talking about Phoebe's talents as a clothes-horse. Before she stormed out of here today we had the grandfather of all rows, in the course of which she let slip that you'd told her she was entitled to decide her future for herself.'
'Well, she is! She has plenty of common sense-a lot more than her father, if you ask me.'
'I did not ask you, however, and I want you to stop undermining my authority with my daughter.'
'You mean, don't encourage her to differ from you,' Lee said indignantly. 'No one's allowed to express an opinion that contradicts yours in case your daughter starts to suspect that you could be wrong. But she already knows that. She's only gone through this academic charade to please you. And that's as traditional,as anything I ever heard.'
'That is utter nonsense!'
'For heaven's sake!' she cried. 'Let the girl do what she likes with her life. That's what freedom means.'
'My daughter has total freedom, but she's not old enough to make the best use of it and so-'
'In other words, she has freedom to do what you want her to. Real freedom means making her own decisions. It's not wanting to become a judge; it's being able to become a judge if she wants to. It must be her choice.'
'So it will be, when she's old enough to make one.'
'If modelling's the right career for her, she'll do as well starting at sixteen as any other age.'
'You made your decision at sixteen, didn't you?' he snapped. 'Was that the right one?'
She drew a long, painful breath. 'That's unforgivable, Daniel. To drag up private matters that I told you about because I trusted you-'
'I trusted you as well, Lee, and I think you've betrayed that trust. Because of your interference Phoebe can defy me. At sixteen she's legally entitled to leave home as long as she can show that she can support herself. She won't have any trouble proving that now she's on this agency's books, will she? Plus all the work she'll be getting from you.'
'She won't necessarily get any work from me-'
'Oh, come on,' he cried derisively. 'You're not going to let the others use your discovery while you-'
Daniel's voice trailed into silence as he found himself confronting empty air. Lee had walked out.
CHAPTER SEVEN
So now she knew what she'd wanted to know about Daniel Raife, Lee thought sadly as she lay awake that night. And the answer was at least as unpleasant as she'd feared.
Daniel was used to having his own way in all things, and subconsciously he'd come to expect it as a right. Now Phoebe, with Lee's unwitting help, had stood up to him and said no. The facade of sweet reason had cracked with a swiftness that would have been comic in any other circumstances. Behind it stood revealed an old-fashioned bull male, bellowing with rage at being defied.
Lee sighed and told herself that she ought to be reasonable. She herself was far from perfect, and it wasn't fair of her to demand perfection from Daniel But she found that reason was useless to ease an aching heart. She wondered if Daniel was managing any better.
She had some sort of answer the next afternoon, when she was interrupted in the middle of work by a messenger. He carried a long box
containing one exquisite orchid. There was no card.
Lee contemplated the orchid at home that evening, wondering why she hadn't just picked up the phone and called Daniel. Even without a card the flower's perfection was a message in itself. Twice she put out her hand to the phone, but each time she pulled back,
The following afternoon she was in the middle of a stormy session with Roxanne when Gillian came over to interrupt.
'Not now,' Lee said impatiently.
'Lee, I think you'd better come.' Gillian's voice was urgent but she was struggling to hold back her laughter. 'There's been a special delivery.'
'Another orchid?'
'You could put it that way,' Gillian said cautiously.
At the door to her office Lee halted, unable to move further for the profusion of orchids. They covered everything, including the desk and chair. A large basketful stood on the floor by the far wall and another one blocked the entrance. Lee had to squeeze past it to get to the phone. Daniel answered so quickly that she knew he'd been sitting there, waiting for it to ring.
'You great clown,' she said tenderly.
'I thought you'd call me yesterday. When you didn't, I was sure you'd never forgive me.'
'There was no card. It might not have been you.'
'Who else sends you flowers? Tell me his name. I'll kill him!'
She joined in his laughter, but through the joking she could sense his nervousness.
'I'm sorry,' he said at last. 'I shouldn't have lost my temper and said the things I did. Forgive me, darling, please.'
'Of course,' she said at once, feeling joy flood through her. It was as though the man she loved had gone away for a time, but now he'd come back to her and she remembered afresh all the things that made him indescribably dear.
'Can you come here tonight?' he pleaded. 'I want to see you as soon as possible.'
'I'll come as soon as I've finished,' she said eagerly.
Everything was forgotten, including the sad and bitter thoughts that had tormented her. She hardly knew how she got through the rest of her work, but at last she was out of the door, hurrying to her car, her heart beating with anticipation as she threaded her way through the streets to Daniel's house.
The last time she'd come here he'd watched for her and opened the door, ready to do battle. Now it happened again, but this time everything was different. There was no anger in his eyes, but something else that stopped her heart. As soon as he'd pulled her inside his arms were around her, his lips on hers, and nothing else existed.
'Tell me everything's all right,' he begged. 'Say that you still love me.'
'Yes-yes-' The words became lost.
He kissed her with irresistible force, crushing her against him in an enveloping embrace. She kissed him back, swept by the need to reassure herself that he was still there, still Daniel, still hers.
'Never frighten me like that again,' he growled against her mouth, and immediately the pressure off his lips cut off her reply.
They clung to each other as if they'd been apart for years, as in a way they had. Their estrangement had been a great chasm across which they hadn't yet fully passed. The first quarrel had been a bitter shock to them both, and they were asking anxious questions about how they'd survived. The problems still lay in waiting for them, like rocks beneath the water, but for the moment they wouldn't think of them. It was hard to remember that she'd ever been the unhappy woman of the last few days, the woman who'd pretended that she was still safe. Daniel's words, 'there's no safe place in love', came hazily back to her. She'd tried to love him without leaving her safe place and discovered that it wasn't possible.
She tightened her arms round him and felt his answering embrace.
'It's all right,' he murmured. 'I'm here.'
'I'm so glad,' she said softly. 'Everything's all right if you're here.'
'Everything's all right,' he repeated. 'We're back together. We've had our first and last quarrel. It's over now and it'll never happen again.'
'No,' she said, holding him. 'It'll never happen again.'
He swept her up into his arms and began to mount the stairs. 'No more words, woman,' he growled in mock caveman style.
'Suppose Phoebe-?'
'She's out with your brother. I loaned him my car for the evening.'
'You shameless manipulator.'
'Yes, aren't I?' he said against her mouth. 'Now I don't want to think about either of them for a long time.' He kicked the door of the bedroom closed and laid her down gently on the bed. 'Lee, my darling…'
They undressed and fell onto the bed, seeking each other urgently, eager to find that the love which had always been so perfect before was a magic talisman to make trouble disappear.
At first it almost seemed as though they might succeed. The passion was there, undimmed, that fever in the flesh that briefly blotted out all else. Daniel made love to her more tenderly than ever before, whispering his love and need as he kissed her repeatedly. Yet gradually she sensed that something was still wrong. They were repeating the caresses and words of other lovings with a kind of ritual intensity, as though trying to recall memories. As though they were afraid of the here and now.
At the moment of greatest passion, the moment when their union had always been most complete and beautiful, she looked into his face and saw something like desperation, as though he would force everything to be right between them by sheer effort of will. Yet it couldn't be done, and they both knew it. The crack had been papered over but not mended.
Afterwards, as the pounding of her heart subsided, she lay in his arms, clinging to him tightly, not wanting to face the truth. They'd come back together because it was too painful to be apart, but their differences could still drive them asunder.
For now, they could pretend. They could speak in normal voices, laugh and kiss and carry on their lives, hoping that, with care, the fracture wouldn't grow larger. And if they didn't look too deeply into each other's eyes they might not see their mutual fear reflected.
At last Daniel sighed and said, 'There's nothing I can do about Phoebe, is there? We had another row today. I put my foot down but it simply went through the floor, so to speak. She's determined to defy me
But it's not your fault,' he added quickly. 'I must have gone wrong somewhere.'
'She's not defying you because you went wrong,' Lee explained gently. 'She's defying you because you're trying to stop her pursuing her heart's desire. You can't do that, and you shouldn't want to. But you can stop her leaving home.'
'Not now she's sixteen and can earn her way,' he said in a brooding voice. 'She had the law about that at her fingertips.'
'Daniel, forget about the law. I mean you must stop her wanting to leave home. Don't drive her out with hostility. Be friendly and understanding-'
'You mean put up with it and smile? Pretend it's all right when it isn't?'
'Yes, that's just what I mean. It's part of being a parent, especially when your child has achieved independence. If you make the wrong move now you could lose her for life.'
He groaned. 'I suppose you're right, but how do you know all this? Sonya isn't old enough for you to be talking from experience.'
'In one way she is. Whenever she goes to visit Jimmy I have to fight the temptation to plead, "Don't believe anything he tells you". I plan excuses why she can't go, because I'm afraid she might not come back.'
'And do you ever actually try to stop her?'
'Never. And she always comes back. Sooner or later there's a point when the only way you can keep your children is to open your hands and set them free.'
'It might not be so bad,' he conceded reluctantly,'if she goes on living here-and when she's working for you, you can keep an eye on her.'
'Yes, but Daniel-'
'You know who all the bad apples are, too-I mean the photographers that a young girl ought to avoid. You could tell this agency not to get her jobs with them.'
'I won't need to. It's a good agency. They'll protect her.'
'I thought you didn't want her working for me?'
'That's all changed,' he said impatiently. 'Yes, now I see how it can be-'
'Daniel, stop this!' Lee said firmly. 'You're doing it again.'
'Doing what?'
'Arranging Phoebe's life-and organising my professional diary as well. Darling, you can't do that. I'll use Phoebe if she's right for what I need, and if she isn't, I won't. And I certainly won't be telling Mulroy & Collitt what to do with their own client. The best way to protect Phoebe is for you to be nice to her so that she comes home to you every night. Make sure she knows you're always there for her. And then let go and shut up!'
He glared at her in displeasure. But at last a reluctant grin broke over his face. 'Maybe I'm being unnecessarily gloomy,' he conceded. 'How many new models try to break in every year?'
'Hundreds,' Lee said.
'And how many hit the big time?'
'One or two.'
'So with any luck she'll get just a few bookings and the whole thing will trickle to a halt.'
'So you're hoping for her to fail?' Lee said indignantly. 'That's nice, isn't it? How would Phoebe feel if she knew?'
'Darling, you won't tell her, will you?" he asked anxiously.
'No, I won't tell her. But I'm not going to do anything to blight her career, either, so don't even ask.'
'I wouldn't dream of it.' Daniel was becoming more cheerful, with his old conviction that the world would dance to his tune. 'Just-let things take their course and hope it all fades away.'
At ten o'clock he insisted he must watch the news, and they came downstairs. The next season of his TV show was due to start soon, so it made sense for him to keep abreast of current affairs, but Lee noticed the way he glanced at the clock at five-minute intervals.
'It's early yet,' she said encouragingly. 'My parents hit the roof if I stayed out until ten, but today's youngsters think nothing of it.'
'Do you mean Phoebe?' he asked casually. 'I hadn't given her a thought.'
Liar, Lee thought tenderly. Oh, darling, you're such a rotten actor.
