A Mother's Choice

by Val Wood

  ‘He is!’ Delia said. ‘You’re not on holiday yet. Off you go.’ She waved them goodbye before turning back to the theatre. She heard Giles telling Robin that he used to sail on the river Ouse when he was a boy and Robin asking what sort of boat he sailed and did he ever go fishing, and with a mixture of sadness and pleasure she realized that her boy could survive without her.

  When the train pulled into Hedon station, Aaron was waiting with the horse and trap and if Robin felt any disappointment at not being able to walk to Paull, he didn’t show it.

  Aaron shook hands with Giles and murmured that he thought Dorothy might have come, then corrected himself and said he meant Delia. When Giles explained about her starting at the theatre that morning, Aaron deliberated for a moment and then said quietly, ‘You’ll come home with us, will you? Have a bite to eat? We, erm, we need to get an urgent message to her.’

  Giles raised his eyebrows in a query, but Aaron nodded towards Robin who was talking to the old horse. ‘Summat’s happened,’ Aaron muttered. ‘She might be required back here. But not a word in front of her lad.’

  ‘I’m not in a hurry to get back,’ Giles said. ‘I told Robin we’d have a walk by the estuary before he goes back to school this afternoon.’

  ‘Mmm, well mebbe not today,’ Aaron replied. ‘There’re things going on down by ’river bank. I’ll explain later.’

  Robin greeted Peggy with a hug round her waist and told her he couldn’t wait to tell the girls about where he’d been.

  ‘Well, as it happens, I’ve made you some bread and beef to tek to school,’ she said. ‘And there’s a slice of apple pie as well.’

  ‘Oh, do I have to go now?’ Robin said. ‘I was going to ask if we could go out in Aaron’s boat first.’

  ‘He won’t have time today. Mebbe next weekend, and mebbe your ma will come again.’

  He didn’t seem too disappointed, and thanked Giles for bringing him home and went off with Peggy, and was heard asking, ‘Have you been having a lot of toast, Granny Peg? I can smell burning.’

  ‘I can smell it too,’ Giles observed as he waved goodbye. ‘Has someone had a fire?’

  ‘I’d say so.’ Aaron dug his hands into his coat pockets. ‘Come and have a look. How much do you know about when Delia lived in Paull?’

  ‘Not very much,’ Giles admitted as they crossed into the next farmyard. ‘But I gather she had a wretched childhood.’

  ‘Aye, she did, but none of us realized,’ Aaron said grimly. ‘Surprising what goes on beneath our noses, and as for my own lad mekkin’ situation worse for her, poor lass. Anyway …’

  They’d come out of the gate and crossed a narrow track, and Giles saw a broken-down cottage with a burnt-out barn. He saw a man with a shock of red hair, the same colour as Jenny’s and her mother’s, and other men pulling out tin trunks and burnt timber, and when he heard one of the other men call him Jack he guessed that the red-haired man must be Jack Robinson and therefore Robin’s father.

  ‘This is the Deakins’ place, but there’s no sign of either of them. There are fishermen and lifeboat men out on ’estuary trying to find him and folks searching all over ’village in case he’s done away wi’ her.’

  Giles turned a shocked face towards Aaron. ‘Why do you think that?’

  Aaron didn’t look at him as he spoke but kept his eyes firmly in front. ‘Back door was locked as if they were both out and there’s nobody in ’cottage. Me and Peggy both went upstairs to look for Mrs Deakin when ’fire began, but she wasn’t there.’

  ‘But – I still don’t understand why you should think …’ Giles said incredulously.

  Aaron muttered glumly, ‘Onny good thing I can say about them is that they weren’t Paull people; they were from down Devon way. Fisher folk anyway, mebbe Brixham, and mebbe them folk were glad to see ’back of ’em. They turned up nearly thirty years ago, but never mixed wi’ villagers. Then one day our Jenny found this little lass lookin’ over our fence and brought her to our house to play. A good hour passed and she wasn’t missed and Peggy went to tell ’missus that she was with us in case she was worried, but all she did was nod and say send her back when you’ve had enough of her.’ He pursed his lips. ‘She’d onny be about three. Poor little lass.’

  Jack came over to them and was introduced to Giles. He didn’t look Giles in the eye as he reluctantly shook hands, though Giles stared him in the face.

  ‘We can do no more here, Da. I reckon we should leave ’rest to ’police. Harry’s been to Hedon and notified them that summat’s amiss. There’s a boat missing from ’creek and it’s not one of Deakin’s. His are still tied up. Mebbe, mebbe …’ His boot scuffed the ground and then he looked up. ‘Somebody should tell Delia.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ Giles asked him. ‘Am I missing something here? Why should Delia be brought into this?’

  Both men looked at him. ‘Course, you wouldn’t know if Delia hasn’t mentioned it,’ Aaron said. ‘And neither does Robin know.’ He glanced up at the cottage, then to the smouldering barn. ‘Delia was once Dorothy Deakin, and this is where she spent that miserable childhood.’

  CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

  Giles had a midday meal with the Robinsons. Peggy said she’d drive him back to Hedon to catch the afternoon train and asked him if he would explain the situation to Delia.

  ‘She might not want to come back yet,’ Giles suggested. ‘Not unless the police want to speak to her; and as she hasn’t seen her parents for years, there’s not much she can tell them.’ Then he added, ‘Have you thought that her parents might have gone off somewhere for a few days and the fire could have been accidental?’

  Peggy nodded. ‘Aye, we could all be barking up ’wrong tree,’ she said, but her voice indicated that she thought otherwise.

  ‘True,’ Aaron acknowledged in the same tone. ‘But Deakin wouldn’t go anywhere at this time of year; it’s a good time for shrimping, and besides how could they have gone anywhere when his mule and cart are tied up at ’creek and his boats are still berthed?’

  Giles gave up deducing what might have happened; he didn’t know the ins and outs of the fishing timetable or that of country people, but he said that he’d tell Delia about the barn fire and that neighbours were anxious about her parents’ whereabouts. I don’t think she’ll be too concerned about their situation, he decided, and they certainly haven’t troubled themselves about hers.

  ‘I don’t want to worry Delia unduly,’ he told the Robinsons. ‘She has had enough to deal with in her life without adding to it.’

  Peggy nodded approvingly. ‘Quite right,’ she murmured. Looking straight at him, she asked, ‘Are you fond of her, Mr Dawson?’

  He was taken aback by her directness. There was no artifice about this woman, no pretence; it was a straightforward question, so he gave a straightforward answer, but not before Aaron murmured, ‘Now then, Mother. Nowt to do wi’ you.’

  ‘I’m very fond of Delia, Mrs Robinson, and I don’t mind in the least answering your question.’ He grinned at Aaron. ‘But,’ he went on seriously, ‘at present I can’t make any commitment. I’m not a free man.’

  ‘Oh!’ she said, as if disappointed, her voice hardening. ‘You’re married?’

  ‘Yes. To be brief, my wife and I married to please our parents when we were young, and put under great obligation. Neither of us wanted the marriage and we have both regretted it.’

  Peggy nodded. ‘Children?’

  Giles looked directly into her eyes. This wasn’t a subject for discussion. ‘No.’

  She sighed. ‘Delia won’t get hurt, will she?’

  ‘Not by me, Mrs Robinson.’

  The scullery door crashed open and Jack rushed in; he looked at all three. ‘A woman’s body’s been found washed up near Sunk Island.’ He took a breath. ‘Rumour is that it’s Mrs Deakin.’

  Peggy got up and clasped her hands together. ‘Oh, dear God, no.’

  ‘There’s been nobody else reported missing. Police are asking for somebody
to identify her.’

  ‘Not Delia.’ Giles stood up too. ‘We don’t know where she is, do we?’ he said pointedly.

  ‘No, course we don’t,’ Peggy agreed. ‘But anybody down at ’village shop would be able to – or Aaron or me, for that matter.’

  ‘We’ll wait till we’re asked,’ Aaron said sensibly. ‘There’s no rush.’

  From the Hull railway station, Giles walked to the theatre and hoped to find Delia there. He wondered how to break the news about her parents and decided to ask her to come to the Maritime Hotel when she was free. They could speak privately there.

  He found her in the small room behind the box office with a pile of papers on the table in front of her. She looked up as he arrived and greeted him with a huge smile; she seemed really happy and he would be sorry to give her sad tidings.

  ‘How are you managing, Miss Under-Manager?’ he asked. ‘And where’s Rogers?’

  She laughed and stretched back in her chair. Her hair, which she had fastened loosely behind her neck with a ribbon, hung down her back. ‘I’ve sent him home! He was getting in a state about telling me where everything was and what to do; he was exhausted, poor man. I told him I’d sort out as much as I could and what I couldn’t I’d ask him about tomorrow.’

  ‘Good,’ he said enthusiastically. ‘You are a woman of many parts. Are you almost finished? Can you break off for a cup of tea at the Maritime?’

  She hesitated. ‘Half an hour? Then I’m finished until this evening.’

  ‘Fine. I’ll slip back to Mrs Benson’s and get out of my country clothes and into my town ones.’ He assumed a serious expression. ‘Are you not going to ask me if I lost your son on the way there?’

  ‘Oh!’ she gasped. ‘How could I forget to ask?’

  ‘What sort of mother are you?’ he admonished. ‘Peggy took him straight off to school with a parcel of bread and beef, as seemingly everyone was waiting to hear about his adventures in the big house. I’d bet he’ll tell them a fine tale.’

  She sighed. ‘Thank you, Giles.’

  He headed to the door. ‘I’ll be back in half an hour.’

  Delia finished what she was doing and locked everything away in the huge safe and put the keys safely in her purse. Then she looked in at the auditorium to make sure there was no one in there and called out that she was locking up. There hadn’t been anyone in all afternoon, as the joiner had finished the repairs to the stage and the cleaner had finished clearing up. The whole place had been her domain. She fastened the swing doors, and then went to the staff cloakroom to wash her hands and brush and pin up her hair, and as she glanced in the mirror she saw her reflection and smiled back at it. ‘I think I’m happy,’ she murmured. ‘If this is what happiness feels like.’

  Giles was waiting outside the front doors of the theatre, as she’d locked them after he’d left. He gazed at her. ‘You look nice,’ he said. ‘Content.’

  ‘I am,’ she said. ‘I feel as if my life is on an even keel, after being shipwrecked and drowning for so long.’

  He nodded, although it was an unfortunate phrase in view of what he had to tell her, and offered his arm after she had locked the double doors behind her. She smiled and went on, ‘Even being trusted to do such a simple thing as locking doors is wonderful. I’ve been in charge of the theatre for most of the day. My son is happy and I have a good friend who is offering his arm to me.’

  She flushed as she spoke and hoped he didn’t think she was presuming too much, but he smiled and his blue eyes crinkled and she wished for more.

  The dining room at the hotel was only partly occupied as it was still quite early; Giles ordered a pot of tea and a plate of sandwiches for them both. When they were brought, she poured the tea and he raised his cup to her. ‘Here’s to your new career, Miss Delamour. But please don’t ever give up singing.’

  ‘I won’t,’ she said huskily. ‘I feel as if I have more to sing about now than I ever had before and it will make a difference to the way I sing, even though this position might only be temporary until Mr Rogers finds someone else.’

  They talked of general things as they ate, and Giles told her that he had just opened a letter from his parents telling him that they had received a distraught letter from his wife’s parents that they could barely understand.

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ Delia commiserated. ‘They must all be very unhappy about the situation.’

  ‘I’m sure they are,’ he agreed. ‘But I wonder if they’ve ever thought about how unhappy we’ve been for so many years simply because we obeyed them, honoured our fathers and mothers? Now at last Marion and I have a chance of some happiness in our own lives.’

  ‘Yes.’ She drew in a breath and felt suddenly fearful that he might have plans that didn’t include her.

  ‘Delia,’ he said, leaning towards her. ‘I want to tell you something; two things, in fact, but first I must tell you something that might distress you.’

  Her heart skipped a beat. He was going away. Leaving. He would soon be a free man able to do whatever he wished with his life. Her eyes suddenly filled with tears and spilled on to her cheeks; happiness wasn’t for her after all.

  ‘Don’t cry!’ he appealed. ‘You don’t know what I’m going to say!’

  She patted her mouth with her napkin, willing her lips not to tremble. ‘You’re leaving,’ she said huskily. ‘You’re pursuing your new life elsewhere?’

  ‘No I’m not.’ He gave her a gentle smile. ‘How could I? How could I leave without taking you with me?’

  Delia’s lips parted and her gaze questioned him further. ‘What—’

  His eyes looked into hers and she saw what she thought was tenderness. ‘You know that I’m not yet free and my divorce might take some years. Would it be fair of me if I asked you to wait for me until then?’

  Delia shook her head. ‘No – I mean yes. Wait?’ she said breathlessly. ‘Yes, I’ll wait, if that’s what you’re asking me.’

  He laughed. ‘Was that a yes or a no? But that wasn’t the first thing I was going to tell you.’ He gazed at her, his blue eyes serious. ‘It was the second, but the first can wait. We’ve known each other for only a short time and I realize I’m being very hasty and you might think it’s too soon to make a commitment, but I love you, Delia, and when the time is right I want to ask you to marry me when I’m free.’

  ‘Marry you?’ she whispered. ‘I never thought that anyone would ever want to marry me!’

  ‘Because?’ He shook his head in gentle admonishment. ‘Why? Because you have had a child out of wedlock? You are not the first, Delia, and you won’t be the last. I’m sure I’ve already said that.’ He took hold of her hand and kissed her fingertips. ‘What can I say to convince you that you are worthy of love? But I ask again, will you wait?’

  She ran her tongue over her lips as she considered. Would it matter what anyone thought? Whose opinion was of concern to her? She took a deep breath and leaning towards him kissed him on his soft and gentle mouth. ‘Do we have to wait?’ she murmured. ‘I’m already a woman fallen from grace. I’m ready to live with you now in a life of love.’

  He returned her kiss, and as they were alone he drew her close and kissed her cheek, eyelids and mouth.

  ‘I want to protect you from scandal,’ he whispered. ‘I will buy you a ring to prove my love, but we should wait until I’m free and we can be man and wife in law as well as love.’

  She smiled and nodded, tears glistening on her cheeks. He was right, of course.

  CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

  Giles decided that he wouldn’t speak of the happenings in Paull just yet. The situation there didn’t immediately affect Delia. She was happy and so was he, and as they walked hand in hand back to their lodgings he paused as they reached Holy Trinity church and said, ‘You realize, Delia, that there can be no church wedding as I’ll be a divorced man, unless I can get an annulment.’

  Delia nodded. ‘If there’s a God, as I’m led to believe, I feel He’ll let His love fall
on us regardless of what went before, and without a church ceremony.’

  He turned, and in the shadow of the church put his hands on her face and kissed her lips. ‘I’ve wanted to do that since the day I met you,’ he whispered. ‘I’ve wanted to touch your shiny hair and stroke your soft smooth hands.’

  Delia lifted her hands, now clad in warm gloves, and spread her fingers. ‘My hands were once raw and red from scrubbing and washing and digging in the garden,’ she murmured.

  ‘Now they’re ready to wear my ring.’

  ‘Yes,’ she said, shakily and happily. ‘They are.’

  She went back to the theatre that evening to sort through more paperwork for the next show in readiness for her new role of under-manager. She felt giddy with happiness, hardly able to concentrate. Giles was in rehearsal, and when it was finished he waited to escort her back to their lodgings.

  The next morning when he went down to breakfast, Delia was already sitting at her table drinking her coffee. Two men were sitting at separate tables eating breakfast.

  ‘Good morning, Miss Delamour; gentlemen.’ He nodded to the men and then turned to Delia. ‘May I join you, Miss Delamour?’

  ‘Please do.’ She gave him a beaming smile. ‘Did you sleep well, Mr Dawson?’

  ‘Very well, thank you,’ he replied, although he hadn’t. He’d spent the night tossing about, rehearsing what he should say regarding her parents. In the end he had decided he would state it as a mystery and let the news filter through. ‘I hope you did too?’

  ‘No,’ she said brightly. ‘I was very restless indeed,’ and then whispered, ‘but full of joy.’

  When his coffee had been brought and the two other residents had departed, he began. ‘Delia, last night I said I had two things to tell you, but I was rather overtaken by my feelings and somehow they came first, especially when I discovered that we were of the same mind.’ He clasped her hand and gently squeezed her fingers.

  ‘Yes,’ she breathed. ‘I can hardly believe what happened. I have never been in love before.’