He looked a bit affronted, gave a curt nod and then ran to catch up with the others. Afterwards I realised with shame that he had been offering to walk me back to the house. This often happened; that I’d puzzle over something someone said and the key in my mind would turn too late.
Curses. My stomach contracted with longing. Jacob Mallinson, none other than the constable’s son, had wanted to walk with me. Me, Abigail Chaplin. I groaned in frustration and wished I could have that moment back. Yes, I would have said to Jacob. Yes please.
I winced and put my hands to my hot cheeks. I had been rude and unmannerly. No wonder no young man would look twice at me. It wasn’t because I was deaf, it was because I was foolish and ill-mannered. Ashamed of myself, I followed my mistress back towards the lights of the house. Later, I was distracted with Lady Katherine when she needed to be dressed and would not say a word.
‘Ralph kissed my hand!’ she said, raising the back of it to her lips.
I tugged her hair hard with the hairbrush.
‘Careful!’ she turned and shot a look at me, as if to say, ‘what do you think you’re doing?’
I curbed my temper. Above all, I needed to keep my place.
10. Demands and Promises
The next morning I was to air all the bedroom drapes. I had taken them from the beds and strung them up on the line. I watched them sway in the breeze, thinking about the mystery of Lady Katherine’s gloves and the wet clothes in the closet, and about how my mistress seemed to be sweet on Ralph.
I was about to hang another bundle when I saw a man approaching down the drive on foot. Something about the way he walked was familiar. It looked like my father. But it couldn’t be. My father was dead. It must be a travelling tinker. I batted at the drapes half-heartedly, and the dust rose up in clouds, but still I peered through it, my eyes fixed on the lone figure on the drive.
It couldn’t be Father because the captain had brought us word that all his platoon were lost and Mother had wept for weeks. But a great wave was rising in my chest, and before I knew it I was running, a shout of ‘Father!’ behind my lips but unable to come.
He saw me and began to run too. A few yards away, he stopped, his eyebrows shooting up under the brim of his hat. ‘My, you’re all grown up,’ he said, before I bumped into his chest and threw my arms about him. He smelt of gunpowder and leather, and the tobacco he always smoked in his clay pipe.
He pushed me gently away. ‘There, there,’ he said. ‘Stand away so I can see you.’
I stood back, shyly, tears still wet on my face.
‘What a beautiful young woman. Where did my little mouse Abigail go? A lady’s maid, no less, so Mother tells me.’
So he had already been home. ‘What happened?’ I asked, when we had embraced a long while. ‘Where’ve you been?’
‘I was captured and held hostage by the King’s Army. Until some of the kind folk of Berwick raised money to buy our freedom. We had to promise to change sides and fight for the King, but once free we scattered and found our way home, and the King can find another bunch of turncoats to do his dirty business. But I’m looking for Ralph, we need him. Him and any other men we can muster.’
‘He’s not here.’
‘Do you know where he is?’
I shook my head mutely. But I did know. He was with the Diggers, gone to lay foundations for the houses on the Common, though instinct told me he would not want my father there. Father always put a dampener on what he called ‘Ralph’s foolish ideas’.
‘Can I come home now Father?’
‘Why? You have a position here don’t you? Mother told me how glad she was that you had work at last. It’s hard for her with Martha and William still so young.’
‘I thought that since you were back –’
‘I’ll be away again soon. There’s a big push at Wigan in the North, and then the army is headed south, probably to Worcester. The King’s bound to go there – it’s his last hope, the only Royalist stronghold left. We need more fighting men. Ralph can come with me.’
‘No Father, please. Don’t go. Not again.’
‘I have to.’
‘But you’ve only just come back.’ I clung to his buff jerkin like I had when I was a child. ‘And what about Mother? How will she manage without you and Ralph?’
‘General Fleetwood has a plan to bridge the river Severn with pontoons, because the King will only fortify the East side of the city, thinking we can’t cross. Ralph is good with these tasks, knows about river flow. We need him. He will come with me, to meet up with the rest of the New Model Army in Wigan, before we march South again.’
I began to protest again. Father hadn’t seen our long hours of waiting for news of him, his casual decision to be off to the wars again made me want to strike him. He pressed his hand on the top of my head as if he understood.
I looked up in time to see him say, ‘Your mother will manage. It’s good you and Elizabeth are working. You’re grown enough now to stand on your own two feet. And your mother will find someone else to help in the fields. The women will pull together as they always have. And don’t worry, I will take care of Ralph and bring him home safe.’
I looked down at the parched ground. Bitter disappointment made tears threaten. I had hoped he would take me home, back to my familiar cottage, back to my family. I didn’t want to live in the big house with its gloomy chambers, nor did I want to live in some scraped-together pigsty with Ralph. But at the same time I knew I was too old now to be living at home with Mother, that I should be looking for a young man to build a future with. But who would want a deaf girl like me?
Father was still talking about his plans for defeating the King. But I could not believe Ralph would want to go with him, full of fire for the Diggers as he was. But Father might persuade him. Ralph would be soft, seeing as Father was only just returned to us, and had already gone through so much for Parliament’s cause.
‘Abigail, I have to do what’s right.’ My father was gentle now, his eyes tender. Though he was back, I could not forget the feeling of when he was lost, and I clung tight to his arm.
‘When the war is won, we will have the power to govern ourselves – Cromwell will ensure a right government.’ He smiled, though his eyes were sad. ‘I have to go. I wish it was otherwise, but bear up. You are old enough to make your own life.’ I wiped my eyes with my sleeve as he talked. ‘One thing though – make sure to see your mother when you can. She misses you and worries.’
‘Yes Father.’
‘That’s better. Now where is my Ralph? Have you seen him?’
I shook my head again.
‘I will try Elizabeth at the apothecary’s then. And I look forward to the end of all this toil. The King’s rallied an army of Scots against us, but they’re untrained, just a rabble with no proper plans. We’re confident we can finish them if we can gather enough men. But say nothing of this to the Fanshawes, you understand?’
‘Yes, I understand.’
‘And if you hear anything from the Fanshawes of the Royalist plans – anything at all, you must tell me, or get word to the landlord at the Green Man.’
I nodded.
‘Promise?’
I promised, though it was with a heavy heart. I was to be everyone’s eyes it seemed. When my father left I felt as though I was a rag, wrung dry. It was almost as if I had imagined him – we had been nine months without him and the wound of his absence was so nearly healed. Now I might have to lose him all over again, but not only him, Ralph too.
*
At the house I hoped nobody had seen us talking. I told Mistress Binch I had been on an errand for Lady Katherine, and Lady Katherine that I had been on an errand for Mistress Binch, for I could not tell either of them that my father was back and plotting the King’s downfall. I was watching my step all the time now, as if balancing on a knife blade. Everyone seemed to have so many secrets. Why could people not be straightforward? One slip and I would be done for.
I felt bad about the letters too. M
ail had come for Lady Katherine from her husband, but I did not dare disobey Mr Grice, though I suspected they never got from him to my mistress. And Lady Katherine wrote to her husband – thin dutiful letters, but again these went to Mr Grice. I told myself I was simply obeying orders, that it was none of my business, but my conscience prickled just the same.
As for Grice, he spent most of his time in the library now at the front of the house poring over the household accounts which was fortunate – because if he’d seen my father hanging about, it would have caused a stink, of that I was certain.
When it was time to prepare Lady Katherine for bed she told me I must sleep in her room again from now on. I sighed, for I had been in my own chamber whilst the men were away, and it was at least a place where I could be at peace with my thoughts, out of the scrutiny of my employers.
But Lady Katherine was insistent. ‘Royalists are on their way with more troops to aid the King. A messenger came yesterday to tell Grice and I overheard them. I’m nervous, I never know when they might come.’
‘But Mistress Binch says the King is in Scotland, gathering troops there.’
‘Yes, but the news is, he is bringing them south and they will try to destroy the Roundhead strongholds in Luton and St Albans.’ She paused in combing her hair. ‘Last time, troops were garrisoned here. They scare me, all these men with blood on their hands.’
My father’s face came back to me, his words that I should tell him if I heard any information. I wondered if I could pretend not to have understood what she said.
Lady Katherine went on. ‘I hate all this bloodshed. I wish I could live the life your brother describes, the Diggers life – one of peace and harmony with the earth.’
‘It’s a hard life, milady. Not what you think. It would not suit a lady who is not used to it.’
She put down her comb. ‘Your brother has a lot of followers for his ideas. He must be admired by many young women.’
‘I suppose so.’
‘Has he made promises to anyone yet?’
I gave her a sharp look. ‘He hasn’t the time. I expect it will come soon enough.’ I was unwilling to tell her more. After all, she was married already, it was none of her business.
‘I wonder what he is doing right now…’ Her eyes drifted to the window.
I cut in on her thoughts. ‘Digging on the common, as long as there’s light enough. Raising foundations or turning over the land. He won’t waste daylight if he can use it for producing crops. Many folk have never forgotten the bad years, those three years of failed harvests and famine.’
She turned at my voice. ‘That would be before I was married.’
‘Yes milady, dark years. Years I don’t want to think about.’
She stood and turned back the bedcovers, and I hurried to help. She took hold of my arm to get my attention. ‘So why does Ralph want to farm the common so badly if he already farms land of his own?’
I marvelled that she could be so stupid. ‘It is your land, milady. He is just a tenant farmer. What we harvest is little enough, but the bulk of it comes to you as tithes. He wants to be his own man.’ I pulled away from her. I did not want to mention my father.
I saw her take this in. ‘Your family are my tenants?’
‘Yes milady. My mother and my young brother and sister. They rely on Ralph to tend the crops, and now he’s got this puddle-headed idea of digging up the common. I don’t know how they’ll manage.’ I pushed away the image of my father and his words that he would take Ralph to war.
Her eyebrows knitted together in a frown as she saw my worried face. ‘People will help them, I’m sure.’
‘I expect so, milady, but he can’t be in two places at once. The harvesting is hard work, but then so is digging foundations for houses.’
‘I will help with the digging, I have already told Ralph I will.’
I stared at her.
‘Ralph seems to think I could do it.’ Her eyes took on a defiant glint.
I could not stop the words bursting out. ‘But that’s because he doesn’t know who you are! He thinks you’re Kate! That you’re used to hard work, to carrying heavy coals, to chopping firewood. There’ll be nobody to make your fires or wash your clothes on the common. You saw those houses – they’re like kennels. You can’t tell me you want to live there, it’s scraping a living from the sweat of your own hands.’
Lady Katherine shrugged. ‘I could do that. It can’t be that difficult. I’m thinking I’ll join the Diggers and live their way. I like them. It’s the first time I’ve been welcome anywhere.’ She tied back her hair in a ribbon, unconcerned.
I swear my mouth fell open. ‘But what about your husband? What about this house?’
‘Him? I care not a jot for him. And my greedy stepfather will sell the house from under me to pay the King’s debts. The Diggers accepted me. Ralph said they take anyone who believes in their cause.’
‘They would not welcome you if they knew you were Lady Katherine Fanshawe whose family fleeces them dry each year for their rents, whose kinfolk slaughtered theirs in the last battle at Gloucester.’
‘Enough.’ Her eyes took on a hue of steel.
Horrified, I realised I’d gone too far.
‘I don’t know why I am arguing with a servant,’ she said icily. ‘Nobody needs to know who I am. You will do as I say. You will continue to accompany me to the meetings in the barn.’
‘In the Digger community, there are no servants. We are all equal. You cannot have it both ways. If you are a Digger then we are equals.’
There was a moment’s stunned pause, whilst I marvelled at my own boldness and she scrutinized me to see if I would back down. I stood my ground.
‘You will take me to the Common to help Ralph and the others or your family will be cease to be my tenants.’
I was silent then. My mother’s face floated before my eyes. Had I not caused her enough trouble, must I bring her more?
My anger turned inwards to make me stiff and cold. I tucked down my mistress’s sheets with deliberate movements, held up the corner as she climbed in with my face turned away from her. She did not speak, and if she had I would have pretended not to understand.
*
The next day I took Pepper and rode out before anyone was awake to tell Ralph his father was home. He was shocked, and at first could not take it in, but set off immediately to see for himself. During the day Lady Katherine and I kept up the pretence of mistress and maid, uncertain how else to behave with each other. It gave me an ache in the chest, this bad feeling between us.
But that evening the Diggers met at Jacob Mallinson’s orchard. I refused to take orders from Kate in her homespun and apron, and besides I could bear the atmosphere no longer. So when she sat next to me on the cloth that was spread on the ground, I got up and moved away.
Ralph went over to speak with Kate and sat down next to her. A few minutes later he beckoned me over but I shook my head.
Finally he came over. ‘What’s the matter?’
‘Nothing.’
Ralph looked uncomfortable. ‘I went to see Father. I could not believe it, him turning up after all this time. He said he was proud of you, working at last,’ he said.
‘I can’t believe he was here. It seems like a dream.’
‘He seemed different from how I remembered. Smaller somehow. I can’t believe he’d do that to Mother, just appear from nowhere and then abandon her all over again. I told him so, and I got a bit heated, and well… we had an argument.’
‘Oh Ralph. You and your temper. It will blow over.’ I made a sign of wind blowing over my palm.
‘No.’ He twisted his hat in his hands. ‘He’s told me not to go back home, that I’m not welcome there.’
‘No. That can’t be true. Why? What happened?’
He signed: ‘He wanted me to join him and fight for Parliament, but I refused. I want to try our way, the new way of the Diggers. Since he went away I’ve become my own man, I’m seventeen, I don’t
want to be told what to do any more, like a little boy.’
‘But what about Mother?’
‘She sides with him. She says I must have respect and obey father if I’m to stay under his roof. Anyway, it’s too late now. I was just telling Kate, the Diggers plans have advanced, because I’ll be needing somewhere to live. We’re going for the day after tomorrow. Market day. Folks will be busy and we’ll get a bit of a start. You’ll be there, won’t you? Kate says she will.’
‘I wouldn’t rely on Kate.’
‘What’s the matter? Have you fallen out with each other?’
I made a face.
‘It will blow over.’
‘That’s what I said about you and Father. But you’re wrong, it won’t. Kate’s not what you think.’
‘What have you got against her all of a sudden? I really like her. She’s quiet and comely, and always thinks of others first. Look how she offered to get the hearth and the kitchen built.’
‘You don’t know her like I do.’
‘I think I’m a sound judge of character. And I was glad you two got on so well because I was hoping –’
I turned my head away. I did not want to hear any more. It was my worst nightmare. I knew what he was going to say, that he hoped he might walk out with Kate. And what would happen when he found out he’d set his cap at Lady Katherine Fanshawe?
At that moment Kate stood and came over. ‘Would you like some cider? Jacob’s brought out a flagon.’ She held a cup out to each of us.
I stalked away and went and leant against a tree. When I looked back they were sitting side by side on the cloth, and Kate’s eyes kept flicking over to me. Ralph was gazing at her with the look of a man who cannot bear to tear his eyes away. I scowled at them, only to see Jacob Mallinson watching me, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. I groaned inwardly. He would surely think me bad-tempered, when it was none of my fault. Curse my mistress, I wish I’d never set eyes on her.
11. Sticks and Stones
A few days later I rushed my duties and went to visit Mother. I was grateful for the summer nights, which meant I could go out later. Since Ralph had told me of his falling out with Father, I wanted to see what Mother thought of it all.
Shadow on the Highway Page 9
