by Iris Parker
"I've been called a lot of things, but overly sweet is definitely not one of them," Dominick said. "In fact, if Alton saw me acting like this, I'm pretty sure he would think you were brainwashing me somehow."
"Who says I'm not?" I asked.
"Who says I'd care if you were?"
"Okay, now you're just trying to give me diabetes," I laughed.
"Is it working?"
"Yes. And if anyone else heard us talk like this, we'd be that couple in about two seconds," I said, and then my heart made a sudden sharp ka-thump in my chest.
I'd called us a couple.
Could I even do that?
Time slowed down and the next moment felt like an hour, waiting to see Dominick's reaction to my Freudian slip.
"Maybe we're already that couple," Dominick said quietly. "And our friends just don't know it yet."
Helena
"You know, there's something I've been wondering about since yesterday," Dominick said after finishing another bite of pancake. "Does Ali know about the baby?"
"Not exactly," I answered, relieved that we could talk about this without it being a painful conversation. "I did ask her about how she'd feel about having a brother or a sister, but I thought it would be best to wait before telling her. You know, to be sure that the pregnancy was going smoothly and everything was okay."
"You mean you're still not sure?" Dominick asked, looking a little alarmed.
"Well, almost. But I thought it would be best to put it off until after the morphology scan. That way we'd know if it was a brother or sister, and she'd even have pictures to see firsthand," I explained, then felt embarrassment creeping up as I continued. "And uh, I thought I should tell you first, which made it even harder."
"Yeah," Dominick agreed, nodding along with my explanation. "And they finally did the scan yesterday, right?"
"Well, they did a scan, but not the scan. It was an emergency one, not quite as detailed as a scheduled appointment. There's still a bit of time before that," I said, biting my lip and wondering how to proceed.
I'd wanted to invite Dominick for a long time now, even before he'd found out I was pregnant. After all, he clearly deserved to be there just as much as I did. At the same time, inviting someone along for a medical procedure was pretty intense, even for a new couple. The truth was, I didn't have the slightest idea how to phrase it.
Did I phrase it as an invitation? A request? Should I just tell him that he had my permission to come? Or maybe it was assumed that of course he would come along, and bringing it up at all would be silly.
Dominick must've been thinking similar thoughts, because both of us looked down at our plates and silently took another few bites of food. The idea that maybe he was nervous too, that this wasn't just another case of me being horribly awkward in a relationship, did embolden me however. I took a deep breath, and finally decided that the best way to ask was just to freaking ask.
"Do you want—" I began.
"I'd really like—" Dominick began at the same time.
We both stopped talking and looked at each other, a mixture of surprise and amusement on our faces. There was another pause as I waited for him to go on.
And he waited for me to do the same, of course.
"Do you mind if—" Dominick said, finally trying again.
"I'd love it if—" I said at precisely that same moment.
We looked at each other again, but instead of another pause we both burst into laughter.
"Oh screw it," Dominick said happily. "What time am I picking you up?"
The words were music to my ears.
Dominick
With Helena's hand grasped tightly in mine, the two of us walked down Massachusetts General Hospital's seemingly endless corridors. My mouth was dry and my heart was thumping loudly, echoes of the horror I had experienced last time were here together.
But beneath that was something else entirely.
Deep down, I was actually excited. The feeling was building with each step we took, bubbling up to the surface and slowly washing the bad memories away. Today was the start of a new day, a new story, and a new situation.
After all, our reason for this visit was completely different.
Hell, my entire life felt completely different than it was last time we were here.
After spending a long time in the waiting room, we had finally been called back and ushered into another, smaller room.
Where we also waited.
I don't know what I was expecting; this was still a hospital after all.
Even so, I didn't exactly mind the additional delay. As eager as I was to get a better look at our new baby, I was happy for any chance I got to just spend time with Helena. And I certainly wasn't going to complain about the better look I was getting of her, either, for that matter.
A certain part of me quite enjoyed just looking at Helena, admiring the way her clothes all fit a little tighter now. Her body was changing with the pregnancy, and it showed. Helena had never failed to drive me crazy, but lately my desire for her was getting larger and larger with each passing day.
Which did get me into trouble, sometimes.
Like perving on my girlfriend in the ob/gyn unit of a hospital, for example.
Keep it together, man, I reminded myself, willing away the arousal before I made an ass of myself. Keep it together.
It wasn't working, and I knew that I needed to stop thinking about this before it got out of hand. Desperate for a distraction, I turned to Helena and blurted out the first non-sexual thing that came to mind.
Because that was a good plan.
Obviously.
"So, what made you decide you wanted to be a single mother?" I asked, my tongue running a few seconds ahead of my brain as per its usual. As my mind caught up with my mouth, I realized just how bad the question sounded and inwardly cringed. I had meant it innocently, but the look on Helena's face confirmed my fear. Immediately, I wished I'd gone with something safer—like taking off my socks and shoving them in my mouth.
Good job there, Dom, I thought as I watched Helena try to process the accusing-sounding question. Great work. Really scored a goal with that one.
Well, at least I didn't have to worry about getting an inappropriate erection now.
"It wasn't a rash decision, if that's what you were wondering," Helena said, sounding puzzled and just a touch defensive.
"I never thought it was," I quickly clarified. "I'm just curious to know more about why you did it, really. After all, none of this would've happened if you hadn't made that choice. Not the baby, not the two of us meeting, not even Ali. It was a huge event in all of our lives, but I don't really know anything about it."
Holding my breath, I gave the words a moment to sink in. I could've explained even more, of course, but the more detailed I got the more I risked sounding like a crazed fool in love.
Helena's tension visibly softened and her face brightened up as she started talking.
"Well, I always knew I wanted a family. But for just as long, I've also been pretty awkward around guys. It seemed like no matter what I tried or who I dated, things never worked out."
I breathed a subtle sigh of relief, even as I fought back twinges of irrational jealousy. It was expected and normal for Helena to have dated other men, of course. It was downright healthy for both of us. Even so, I couldn't help but feel a little possessive all the same.
"Eventually, I realized that it just wasn't working," Helena continued. "And if I insisted on waiting for my perfect match, I was going to spend my entire life waiting. Even worse, it always seemed like the problem was with me. Like I wasn't wife material, or even good girlfriend material. After a while, I sort of convinced myself that I simply wasn't cut out for romance."
"Wait, what?" I asked, shocked by her words. Helena, not wife material? I couldn't imagine where she'd gotten that idea. "You really think that?"
"I…used to," Helena said softly, her voice so quiet that I might've been imagining it.
/> And, given how head-over-heels I was, maybe I had imagined it.
"I've always been socially awkward, you know. And my mom always planned for me to be home-schooled, so my dad honored her wishes after she died. But, well, you know my dad. He did his best, but he's not exactly a social butterfly himself," Helena explained. "Eventually I wanted to meet more people, so I asked to be put in a regular high school."
"And he refused?" I asked, surprised.
"No, worse. He agreed. What a complete disaster that was!"
"What happened?" I asked.
"I was new, I was nerdy, and I was weird. I always felt like everyone was making fun of me behind my back," Helena explained, counting off each of her supposed faults with outstretched fingers. "Of course, I was sheltered and young back then. It never even occurred to me that everyone feels that way in high school."
"Or that all of them are right," I added.
"Exactly," Helena said, closing her hand again as she laughed and nodded. "So I tried dating. Three different guys, and three first dates. Zero second dates."
"Trust me, it was their loss," I said with a sincere smile.
"It really, really wasn't," Helena shrugged. "I don't blame them for running away. I'd best describe my first first-date as the Hindenburg, and the others kind of went downhill from there."
"How does it get worse than the Hindenburg?"
"The Titanic springs to mind," Helena said with another shrug. "The boat, not the movie."
"Well, at least Celine Dion didn't make any unfortunate appearances during your dates," I joked reassuringly. "Even back then, I can't imagine many of her fans were teenage boys."
"Oh, but going to one of her concerts is totally something I would've tried on a date. If I had known who she was. Which I did not."
"I see what you mean," I said.
"Yeah," Helena said, chuckling at her former self. "In any case, the experience burned me so badly that I didn't really try again until I was in college."
"Well, it does seem like you're better suited for a college environment," I agreed. "That must have gone at least a little better?"
"A bit, but not as much as you'd expect. I loved the academic side, so much that I went full-blown type A on my studies. That didn't leave me much time for…well, anything," Helena said. "Any time I did take my eyes off a book long enough to notice a guy, we never really clicked. After a few years of that, it's easy to get disillusioned."
"It's funny," I said finally, after taking a moment to absorb her story. "It was kind of the same thing with me."
The look on Helena's face was priceless.
"You—uh—," she said, stammering and repeating herself a few times. "You were too much of a bookworm to be interested in girls?"
"Well, no," I admitted, admiring the way she hadn't burst into hysterical laughter. "Actually, you're right, my life was almost the complete opposite of yours. But that's why it's funny. Even though we took radically different paths, I think we ended up in exactly the same place."
"How so?" Helena asked.
"I spent a lot of time socializing, and doing things that made me popular. I knew so many people and dated so many women that I couldn't even begin to count them all. But, despite being surrounded by everyone, I didn't really have anyone. It was all painfully superficial."
"Is that why you decided to donate sperm?" Helena asked, and I shook my head.
"Not exactly," I said. "Though it is related, in a way. Through it all, I did have one real friend. But I almost lost him along the way."
"Alton?"
"Alton," I agreed. "We practically grew up together, but in a lot of ways his life was worse than mine. Much worse. Believe it or not, donating was actually his idea."
"Really?" Helena asked, surprised. "I got the impression that he strongly disapproved of your choice to do it."
"He wasn't always the way he is now," I explained, realizing that Helena probably didn't see much good in Alton today. Time had hardened him into an abrasive man who didn't care about women at all. "He's been through a lot, you know. Time heals all wounds, but sometimes it still leaves one hell of a scar."
Helena nodded, and remained silent for a moment as she thought about what I'd said. I looked at her face and smiled. The interest in her gaze, the empathy in her eyes, all the little details of her face came together to remind me of just how lucky I was. Somehow, Helena had a way of making the entire ordeal seem almost normal. For the first time, I actually felt a sense of peace and acceptance about everything that had happened.
There was more to the story, of course. But before I could explain what exactly had brought Alton to that point, we were interrupted by the hospital room door creaking open.
The doctor was in.
Helena
"It's okay, Sweetie," Dominick said, rubbing my shoulders reassuringly as the elevator arrived at the top floor of Dom's apartment building. "The news isn't that bad."
"I know," I said, barely suppressing a sigh of disappointment. Dominick was right of course, and I knew that. In the grand scheme of things, the appointment had gone incredibly well—there were no complications with the baby, my blood pressure was back to normal, and overall I was in great health.
I should've been thrilled.
Except….
Dammit, it just didn't seem fair.
Dominick and I had driven ourselves completely insane by resisting our urges to sleep together, and now that we finally had given in? Now that we were free to have as much sex as we possibly could want, virtually any time we wanted? Now that we'd both cleared our schedule and had an entire night of privacy together, alone in his apartment once again?
Ruined by six little words.
Your cervix looks a little dilated.
It was an offhand remark, more of an observation than anything else. It wasn't that dilated for how far along I was, just a little bit more than expected. But Dominick had been his usual responsible self, following up on the comment with several insightful questions.
He only wanted the best for me.
Which is why he was so dead-set on listening to the doctor's faint warning, the theoretical worst-of-the-worst-case scenarios where the dilation could actually be a problem.
"It's probably nothing, but you might want to avoid penetration," the doctor had said.
It was like watching a train wreck in slow motion, being aware of what was happening but yet helpless to stop it.
Dammit.
It was asinine beyond all measure, the first world problem to end all first world problems. But yet it was also the reality that Dominick and I needed to live with, and so sex was off the table until after the pregnancy was over.
Off the table, off the bed, off furniture of all kinds, I thought as Dominick opened his door, and my eyes locked on the couch where we'd once spent a very memorable evening together.
Dammit, I'd really been looking forward to round two on that couch. I'd even gone so far as to wear the replacement dress Dom had bought for me a while back, after our first moment of true passion where he'd half-accidentally destroyed the one I'd been wearing that night.
Except now that just wasn't going to happen.
"We'll figure something out. We can always do something else," Dominick said, as if reading my mind.
Or, more likely than that, reading the expression on my face. Given how sour the news had tasted in my mouth, I probably looked like I was sucking a lemon. Even if we managed to somehow find time and privacy despite the new baby, it was still going to be months before I felt him inside of me again.
You'd think I would've been used to it, after a life mostly by myself. But now that Dom was fully in my life, I couldn't imagine going back to how things used to be.
"Yeah, something else," I said, trying not to sound sullen. "Like a nice, passionate, multi-hour long…game of Parcheesi."
"Yeah, no," Dominick said as we walked into the apartment and he closed the door behind us with a heavy click. "I had something else in min
d."
"And what—" I began, but he didn't give me time to finish.
Dominick could move fast for a man his size, and before I knew what was happening he'd gently but firmly pinned me against the wall with his chest. His powerful hands cupped my face as I looked up at him in surprise, only to find his lips rapidly descending down onto mine.
The ferocity and desperation of his kiss told me what I already knew, that Dominick was as frustrated with the news as I was—he was just handling it a whole lot better.
And handling me a whole lot better, as it turned out.
Not breaking the kiss, Dom's hands slid from my cheeks and down the sides of my body, sensually moving towards my hips. His fingers pressed into my thighs, and within seconds I had instinctively widened my stance to make it easier for him to explore me.
But it wasn't slow, sensual exploration that was on Dominick's mind.
My heart went from beating against Dominick's hard chest to feeling alone in my own body as he took a step back, giving himself enough room to undress me. Grabbing the hem of my dress, Dominick began to pull it over my head. It'd been a little tricky to squeeze into the dress that morning, and I wasn't surprised when the clingy fabric stubbornly refused to budge past the ever-growing bump in my stomach.
"I bought this for you, right?" Dominick said after a few moments of gentle tugging.
"Yeah," I breathed heavily, already missing the presence of his lips against mine.
"I'll make sure the next one actually fits, then," Dominick said, the hungry look in his eyes more than enough explanation for what he was about to do.
My clothes never stood a chance.
Dominick grabbed the dress by the shoulders, pulling it in opposite directions with his powerful hands. Immediately I heard the now-familiar sound of stitches popping open as he reduced the garment to rags in a matter of seconds, the now loose fabric easily pulling free from my body when Dominick once again brought it up over my head.
