Joining her on the sofa, he pivoted toward her, but bent one knee, creating a barrier between them. “I probably shouldn’t, but I do. I never expected to find my mate. Males like me don’t have the resources to search. Yet here you are.”
“But I lied and betrayed you.” It was obvious he needed her to make the effort, to offer some sort of penance to prove her regret was genuine. “I didn’t know you then, didn’t understand what all of this really meant.”
“It’s easy to let go of something that doesn’t exist anymore,” he pointed out. “If Shadow Leader hadn’t been captured, would he have arranged for your rescue?”
“It doesn’t matter. I wouldn’t have requested a withdrawal. My faith in Solar Warden was shattered when Vingarra blew up with me and Alyssa inside. They didn’t know we were going to be there that night, but that doesn’t matter either. I will not work with or for terrorists.”
Accepting her answer with a thoughtful nod, he grew silent again. It was too easy for these Rodytes to hide their emotions. Even after all her training and years spent in the field, she often gave herself away with micro-expressions or a telling sound. Jakkin’s features were expressionless. Only his blacker-than-night eyes betrayed any emotion at all. And his phitons, the emerald shimmer had just begun to glow, indicating some sort of conflict raging inside him.
The silence grew uncomfortable, his stare brutal. “You’d be a fool if you believed anything I said. I understand that. I’ve lied to your face too many times. But…” Emotion suddenly closed her throat and she had to look away. If she blew this now, she’d have nothing. She’d failed Solar Warden—if they even existed after this. She’d failed Alyssa—though she and Dakar seemed to have worked things out to their satisfaction. And she’d slammed the door on her best shot at happiness.
He touched her chin, gently turning her head and guiding her gaze back to his. “But?”
“But feelings don’t lie. Feelings can’t lie. Is the transfer link still there?” He nodded. “Search my mind. See for yourself what I want and how I feel.”
He shifted his legs, scooting closer. Her heart fluttered and she was afraid to move, afraid to breathe, to do anything that might disrupt the dream.
“Are you sure?” His voice was low yet intense. “You never wanted me in your mind before.”
“I was afraid.” She’d never admitted it even to herself. “After Daniel, I didn’t believe I’d ever love again.”
His mouth curved into a smile, yet he didn’t touch her, didn’t pull her into his arms or even take her hand. “Do you love me?” He actually sounded surprised.
“Look for yourself. I want this settled between us. One way or the other, we have to move on.”
“Before I do, there’s something you need to know.” He sighed, then said, “My mother was Bilarrian.”
“I know.”
“You didn’t let me finish. She was a powerful psychic and, even though my abilities are mostly latent, I sometimes sense things, know them instinctively.”
She narrowed her gaze, trying not to overreact. “Is this why you were so tenacious about exposing me? You knew instinctively that I was full of crap?”
He nodded. “That was a big part of it.”
“Why are you telling me now? Will it affect what you’re able to sense through the transfer link?”
“It will,” he admitted. “Generally this sort of connection gives one access to emotions without context. Because of my empathic sensitivity, I’ll not only sense your emotions, but I’ll understand why you’re feeling that way.”
“Good. That’s what I want.”
“All right. I just thought you should know. I want no more secrets between us.” He finally touched her, pressing one hand to the side of her face as he looked deep into her eyes. “Relax, hellion. If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear.”
There was a hint of challenge in the “if” but she didn’t mind. She had nothing to hide, and nothing to lose by offering herself to her mate.
Jakkin took several deep breaths as he slowly pushed into Kelsey’s mind. Every word she’d spoken sounded truthful and earnest, yet she’d fooled him before. Her willingness to open up emotionally meant more than weeks of verbal reassurance. Words were easy. Emotions couldn’t lie. Still, she resisted him. That was natural. Humans weren’t used to metaphysical exchanges.
His gaze shifted to her softly parted lips. She needed a distraction, and he needed her taste in his mouth, had craved her unique flavor ever since it faded. He lowered his head slowly, soaking in her reaction. She quickly licked her lips, then her eyes drifted shut. He tilted his head, fitting his mouth over hers. Their lips pressed, just touching at first, reacquainting each with the other’s texture.
She placed her hand on his chest, hesitating as if she were afraid to touch him. Perhaps she was. He’d made his disappointment and frustration obvious. If trust was going to be reestablished, they had a long way to go.
He pulled her into his arms, not stopping until she angled across his lap. One of his arms supported her shoulders and the other caressed her face. She relaxed against his chest, safely cradled in his embrace. The kiss started out slow, more caress than intimate exchange. Then her lips parted, inviting his tongue to explore. He didn’t hesitate, needed her too badly to play hard to get.
As their mouths slid and pressed, tongues softly dueling, he eased deeper into her mind. His empathic receptors activated, effortlessly networking with their link. Her fierce independence hit him first. She was honestly determined to depend on herself for everything. But woven through the self-reliance was pain, grief, and fear. She’d explained where the emotions originated. Losing Daniel had changed her, shaping not only her personality but her goals and aspirations.
He flowed through her past and drifted toward more recent events, trying to bring the current situation into focus. Some psychics could pinpoint a specific moment in time. His abilities didn’t work that way. Mental energy felt like a river to him. He could drift with the current, going wherever the person’s thoughts took him. Or he could stand still and let the river flow around him, quickly sifting through whatever passed by.
I need your help, love. He pushed the thought across the transfer link so he didn’t have to stop kissing her.
She gasped and tore her mouth away from his. “How did you do that?”
He smiled, thumb teasing her kiss-moistened lips. “Apparently, I didn’t tell you. When the link is wide open like it is now, thoughts can be transferred as well as images and emotions.”
“I can send my thoughts directly to your mind? How?”
“Just speak with your inner voice and I’ll hear you.”
So how does it work if the link isn’t open wide?
Very good. He leaned down and continued kissing her. A pulse of energy can be sent through the shield. We call this pinging. It tells the other person you’d like to interact with them.
Is that why I couldn’t sense you for the last few days? You had your end of the link shielded?
Their kisses were so distracting that he struggled to follow her train of thought. Yes. I’ll teach you how to shield after you’ve gotten used to sending and receiving emotions.
All right. She moved restlessly against him, pressing her breasts against his chest. You said you need my help. What do you want me to do?
A flurry of carnal images passed through his mind, an erotic slideshow of possibilities. He forced them all aside. He would not take things farther than kissing until he was sure about her commitment to him. Think of the last few days, how you feel about what’s happened. He needed to know how she felt about him, but coming right out and saying it sounded pathetic.
Her emotions grew stronger, more distinct. He felt her profound regret and the disappointment. Then determination burned off the remorse. Her thoughts were still too broad, too generalized, so he prompted, What are you thinking about right now?
She pulled back with a soft laugh. “I can barely think a
t all when you kiss me.”
“You were thinking about something. Your emotions were very explicit.”
She nodded. “I was thinking about the explosion. Whoever planted those bombs needs to be held accountable for their actions.”
He’d often wondered how much she knew about that. Apparently, the answer was nothing. “We’re pretty sure it was Royce Marsden, but we also have strong indications that the explosion wasn’t meant to go off in the restaurant. The timing mechanism malfunctioned. They were meant to destroy one of our automated warehouses.”
“It doesn’t matter. People died. Royce needs to go on trial for it.”
“That’s not my decision to make, but I happen to agree with you.” He tucked her hair behind her ear, mesmerized by her beauty. “Close your eyes and think about us.” Unless he wanted to spend all night doing this, he needed to be specific. “Think about me.”
Her lids swept down, concealing her light brown eyes, but her mind opened, offering complete access to her emotions. Desire washed over him first, bathing his senses in tingling heat. Clearly she wanted him, wanted the ultimate joining only mates could experience. The second wave was softer, yet even warmer. Affection and tenderness, she not only wanted to give them to him, she wanted to receive them from him. It was like a hunger, a longing she’d given up on long ago.
The desire didn’t surprise him. She hadn’t attempted to conceal her physical attraction to him. But the depth and intensity of the softer emotions was shocking. She loved him. It wasn’t just a meaningless claim. She actually loved him.
“Oh gods, Kelsey.” He kissed her passionately for a moment, then eased back, needing to see her expression. “I never thought I’d sense these things from any female. I was so worried that I was only a mission to you.”
She laughed, but regret still shadowed her gaze. “You stopped being a mission when I met you for the first time. At first you were a complication, then a horrible distraction, and now you’re my everything.”
Feeling her emotions evolve as she explained her thoughts, sent excitement and hope surging through him. This was happening. His mate was finally responding to his claim. The forces that had brought them together and tried their best to tear them apart had failed. Kelsey was in his arms, looking up at him with love in her eyes. And for the next few hours at least, nothing else mattered.
He covered her mouth with his, unwilling to clutter the perfect moment with needless words. His tongue swept between her lips, savoring her softness and the heat of her breath. But he needed more, so much more. Still, it wasn’t going to happen on a cramped sofa.
Lifting her fully into his arms, he stood and carried her into his bedroom. She looped her arms around his neck and pressed her face against the hollow where his throat met his shoulder. “We’ve even done this before, so why am I so nervous?”
He tensed, but continued toward the bed. “We don’t have to do anything but hold each other, if you’re not ready for more.”
She chuckled and raised her face so she could see his eyes. “I’m more than ready. This just feels different than before.”
“You hadn’t accepted that we were mates before. We were just sharing pleasure.”
“Are you going to claim me?” Her lashes swept down, shielding her gaze.
“Not if you still have doubts. Claiming is forever. Both of us need to be absolutely sure.”
She looked at him again, but her emotions felt muted. “Will you be horribly disappointed if I want to wait? I don’t doubt that you’re my mate. In fact, I’m relatively certain I’ll want you to claim me in the near future, but this is happening really fast. I’ve known you for little over a month.”
He chuckled this time, despite his frustration. “Five weeks is a long courtship for genetically compatible Rodytes, but I understand that’s not true on Earth. This affects the rest of your life. We won’t do it until you’re ready.”
“But we can still—how do you put it, share pleasure?”
“Oh, I have every intention of making love to you.” He switched to the human term as he set her down beside the bed. “That was never in question.”
“Good.” She smiled up at him. “Because the first time was over much too fast.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Jakkin unbuttoned Kelsey’s blouse with a skill that sent shivers down her spine. She knew all the things those dexterous fingers could make her feel and couldn’t wait to experience them again. Their hurried night together seemed like a lifetime ago, and it had ended very differently than she hoped this night would end.
She unfastened her bra and tossed it aside but blocked his hand when he tried to cup her breast. “Not with your shirt on, you don’t.”
A playful growl rumbled in his throat, but he didn’t argue. Instead, he parted the seam in his uniform top and shrugged out of the formfitting garment. His undershirt followed and she let her gaze wander at will over his amazing torso. His shoulders were broad, chest sculpted with well-defined muscles, and his abdomen was just plain breath-stealing.
“You approve of your mate?” His pleased grin stopped just short of smug, so she didn’t have to punch him.
“I’ll let you know when I can see all of him,” she countered.
His brow arched and he parted the front of his pants, yet made no move to take them off. “Lose the skirt first.”
Turnabout was only fair. She lowered the side zipper and wiggled out of the skirt. After taking off her boots and socks, she hooked her thumbs around the sides of her panties, then stopped. “Your turn.”
With almost violent urgency, he tugged off his boots and yanked off his pants. His massive erection was clearly outlined beneath his skintight undergarment, a teasing reminder of the pleasures they’d soon share. “Together?” he proposed.
“Sure.” She took off her panties while her gaze followed his every move. He peeled off his underwear, tossed them aside, then stood before her proud and naked. His legs were thickly muscled, yet his hips remained lean. She only glanced at his sex before taking another visual pass of his sculpted torso. Holy crap, the man was well-built. No, her man was well-built, make that extremely well-built. “I approve,” she whispered. “Boy, do I approve.”
He closed the distance between them and guided her hand to his hardened shaft. “Do I feel like a boy to you?”
She laughed, then groaned. “It’s a figure of speech. There’s nothing about you that’s boyish.”
“Good.” His hands framed her face and he covered her mouth with his. Kissing would have been easier if he wasn’t a foot taller than she was.
Apparently reaching the same conclusion, he picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his hips. She was slightly taller than him like this, but their faces aligned more easily. They kissed as he walked to the bed and sat down. She folded her legs, straddling his lap and rubbing her breasts against his chest.
I want to taste you.
His sensual claim made her shiver. So do I.
Ladies first. He lifted her off his lap as he spread his legs, then placed her on the floor, still on her knees. His gaze bore into hers as he guided himself toward her mouth. “Know my taste, mate.” His smile was downright wicked, and challenge shimmered in his eyes.
She covered his hand with hers and kissed his velvety tip. He moved his hand and she slid her fingers up then down his length, while she teased him with her lips, caressing without taking him inside.
“Everything you deliver to me will be returned in a few short moments.”
She smiled, undeterred by his warning. She circled him with her tongue and he tangled his fingers in the back of her hair. She waited for him to close his fist and control her, but he splayed his fingers against her skull instead, preventing any retreat while still allowing her to explore.
And explore she did. She dragged her tongue tip down one side of his shaft then licked her way up the other. He closed his eyes and arched his neck as she grew bolder. His thighs were tense, his abdom
en flexing when she finally slipped him into her mouth. His fingers did tighten then, but he still let her set the pace. She slid her mouth up and down as her tongue swirled, teasing his tip for a moment before she took him deep again.
Over and over she bobbed her head, sliding him into her mouth until she could take no more. His taste, faintly sharp and a bit salty, increased her pulse and intensified the need throbbing between her thighs. Feminine power made her bolder, made her feel lightheaded and exhilarated.
The hot slide of his cock against her tongue thrilled her, but the consuming desire pulsing across their link was even more exciting. He reveled in her attention, was utterly lost in the pleasure she was giving him. His taste grew stronger and his groans louder as she continued the rhythmic caress. She felt strong and eager to watch him lose control.
“Enough!” He twisted his hips suddenly, dragging himself out of her mouth. “I want to come inside you.”
“You were inside me.” She tried to capture him again, but he wouldn’t relent.
“Not tonight. I need to fully join with you too badly.”
He pulled her to her feet as he stood, then turned and urged her down onto the bed. She knew what he intended, but didn’t want to make it too easy for him. He knelt, then pushed her legs apart so he could move closer.
“Lie back.” Demand snapped through his tone.
“Maybe I want to watch.” She arched her brow and smiled, but the impulse had been sheer rebellion.
“Whatever pleases you.” He spread her legs wider and inhaled her scent. “As long as I can do this.” His dark head dipped and he covered her slit with his mouth.
She groaned, unprepared for the surge of desire he unleashed with the first stroke of his tongue. It felt incredible, but again it was more exciting to feel how he reacted to the exchange. His tongue stroked and his lips caressed, while his desire for her built.
He reached beneath her legs and covered her breasts with his hands. She lifted her feet and crossed her ankles on his upper back, opening herself for his torrid kiss. She wasn’t sure why, but he seemed soothed by her taste. It clearly excited him, but it comforted him more. Fascinated by his reaction, she relaxed and let him feast.
Fearless (Battle Born Book 12) Page 12
