Morgan nodded. “If the stories are accurate, Marsden gave his son temporary command of the ship, which could explain why he was unable to regain control after the collision. Jason Marsden was on a joyride. He was not qualified to command any spacecraft, much less one as sophisticated as the one we lost.”
The information rang true, but it made Jakkin feel empty and cold. “How old was he?”
“Twenty-seven,” Morgan admitted, compassion shining in her blue eyes. “But this is on Marsden, not you. He was being self-indulgent and reckless, and his bad decisions resulted in a horrendous tragedy.”
“Somehow, I don’t think he’ll see it that way.” Jakkin sighed, a fresh wave of frustration momentarily blunting his grief.
Sedrik didn’t allow Jakkin’s anger to build. Instead he drew Jakkin’s attention back to him. “There are two ways we can approach this. I can assign you to supply runs or guard duty until Marsden is neutralized. I honestly thought you’d prefer a more direct approach to the situation.”
“So I’m to be bait as well as assassin.”
“You’re bait. I’m the assassin.” Torrin finally spoke, confirming Jakkin’s assumption. Menace emanated from the man for a reason. “I’m not technically part of the military, so it gives you guys deniability.”
“Why do we need deniability? Marsden created this disaster.” He looked at Sedrik, then back at the assassin.
It was the general who finally replied. “We know that, and Morgan’s people know it, but it’s going to take some time for the human public to accept the truth.”
Jakkin ran his hand through his hair, still unsure if he was relieved or infuriated by the turn of events. “How do you want me to proceed?”
“That’s entirely up to you and Torrin. Your mission parameters are simple and I don’t particularly care how you accomplish them. Apprehend Marsden if you can, neutralize him if apprehension is impossible, but most importantly, recover that ship.” Sedrik looked at Morgan and asked, “Do you agree?”
Her gaze shifted from Torrin to Jakkin before she answered. “I agree.”
* * * * *
“He won’t talk about it.” Kelsey looked at Indigo and sighed. She hated talking about Jakkin behind his back, but he needed help and she wasn’t sure how to give it to him. Not only did Indigo participate in the orientations, she was also a counselor-healer. “He hasn’t shed a tear or punched a wall. He’s keeping all his feelings bottled up. That can’t be healthy.”
“Have you encouraged him to talk?” Indigo asked.
They sat at one of the tables in the officers’ dining hall. Kelsey wanted their meeting to seem casual, maybe even spontaneous, if anyone saw them together. “I’ve tried, but he’s so withdrawn he hardly talks at all.”
After a slight hesitation, Indigo lowered her voice and asked, “Are you two still intimate?”
“Yes.” She didn’t offer any details. The sex was still intense, but he kept his end of their transfer link shielded, muting his emotions.
“That’s encouraging. If he’s not shutting you out completely, you have a much better chance of breaking through.” She looked past Kelsey, lips pursed, nose twitching, clearly deep in thought. “Try provoking him. Males, especially alpha males, will often give in to anger even when they have the rest of their emotions locked down.”
Kelsey tensed. Jakkin and she had argued and wrestled, but their “fights” had been fueled by sexual frustration rather than real anger. Did she really want Jakkin furious with her?
“He won’t hurt you. You’re his mate. A Rodyte male would rather die than harm his mate. But you can give him an outlet for everything that he’s feeling. Unless he’s an absolute sociopath, which I don’t believe for a minute, he needs to do some serious venting.”
As if summoned by their conversation, Jakkin and another man walked past the dining hall. They were deep in conversation and didn’t notice the females.
“Who was that with Jakkin?” Indigo asked with a shiver. “Don’t think I’d want to tangle with him in a dark alley.”
Kelsey agreed with the assessment. The stranger had looked intense and dangerous. “He wasn’t wearing a uniform.”
“True. I wonder what he’s doing here?”
Kelsey smiled. “I think I’ll ask the commander.”
“Good idea.” They both stood, but Indigo caught Kelsey’s wrist when she turned to go. “Wait until you have plenty of time to deal with the aftermath. Once he starts letting it out, he probably won’t be able to stop for quite a while.”
“I understand.” It was hard to imagine Jakkin completely out of control, but she was ready to go there if what was what it took to start his healing.
“Let me know how it goes.” Indigo waved her on.
Jakkin and his mysterious guest were nowhere in sight when Kelsey reached the main corridor. The cabin she shared with Jakkin was the only place she was willing to try Indigo’s strategy, so she decided to wait for him there. She’d gotten good at entertaining herself, but eventually she needed a purpose, some sort of occupation to fill her free time.
She scanned open the door, thrilled that she now had the ability to come and go as she pleased, and found Jakkin pacing the living room. “Hey,” she greeted with a tentative smile.
“Hey, yourself.” He looked tense and agitated, yet still very much in control.
“Who’s your badass friend?” His confused expression made her chuckle. “You walked past the officers’ dining room with him a few minutes ago.”
“Ah, you mean Torrin. He’s on special assignment for my upcoming mission.”
“What sort of assignment?” She closed the distance between them and placed her hands on his chest. “What does this Torrin do?”
He smiled, but his gaze remained cold and shuttered. “Anything I need him to do. We’re going after Royce Marsden.”
Her hands closed into fists and then she took a step back. “You’re going to capture him? Or is Torrin an assassin?”
“That’s up to Marsden.” He shrugged, though his indifference wasn’t believable. “We’re going to try to capture him, but we can’t let him destroy his ship.”
“They’re expecting him to resist being captured.” It wasn’t a question. She was thinking out loud. “That’s why they gave you Torrin.”
He nodded, then tried to pull her into his arms. “Anything is better than loitering here and watching news feeds of how I murdered hundreds of thousands of humans.”
She twisted away, easily agitated enough to start a fight. “They want you to murder someone in cold blood? And you’re okay with that?”
His gaze narrowed and tension rolled across his shoulders. Clearly, he’d expected compassion, not criticism. “I will attempt to capture him. If he’s determined to die, I will hurry him on his way. He’s the person to blame for the crimes they’ve blamed on me. How can my attitude surprise you?”
It was torture adding to his pain, but Indigo knew what she was doing. Kelsey had heard from numerous people how amazing Indigo was at healing emotional wounds. “Hasn’t there been enough bloodshed? They’re still dragging bodies out of the rubble down there.”
“I’m aware.” He ground the words out between clenched teeth and his phitons erupted with emerald intensity. “I don’t need the news feeds to remind me. I see the bodies and smell the smoke night and day.”
“Are you sure?” She took a step forward, hoping she looked angry and not horrified by her own actions. “You haven’t seemed affected by any of this. It’s just another day at the office for a battle born soldier!”
He charged so suddenly she couldn’t prevent her instinctive defense. She jabbed her elbow into his ribs and stomped hard on his instep.
“I thought we were beyond this,” he snarled as he tangled his hand in the back of her hair.
“We’ll never be beyond this.” She brought her knee up hard, but adjusted her aim so she hit the inside of his thigh.
“I thought I’d tamed my little helli
on.” He spun her around and wrapped both arms around her torso, trapping her arms against her chest. “Guess not.”
She kicked and twisted, knowing from experience that she couldn’t break his hold. “I will not sleep with a murderer.”
“Fine with me.” He used his knees to buckle hers, then took her down with the weight of his body. “I don’t want to sleep.”
It was hard to keep struggling when desire throbbed through her body. He was anything but emotionally distant right now. His anger and pain blazed into her mind as his hands moved over her body. He ripped open the front of her dress, then tossed the skirt to her waist. His aggression excited rather than frightening her. Indigo was right. Jakkin would never hurt his mate. With one violent yank, he rid her of her panties, then urged her legs apart.
“I need you.” His voice was raw, his chest heaving against her back, but he didn’t thrust into her. He paused to make sure she was willing, always thinking of her first.
“Yes.”
His fingers dug into her hips and he rested his forehead on her back. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“It hurts me more to see you like this.” She pushed up against him. “Take me. You need this, and so do I.”
A harsh sound, part groan, part sob, tore from his throat as he drove into her from behind. He wasn’t gentle. She knew he wouldn’t be. He took her fast and hard, releasing emotions with each violent motion. There were no words, just blast after blast of staggering feelings. Grief, seemingly endless, filled her mind first. She fought against her instinctive need to shield herself from the deluge. The wound wouldn’t heal until they drained the infection.
She braced her knees and kept her head down, far more effected by the mental exchange than by the frantic colliding of their bodies. As the grief finally began to dissipate, a dizzying combination of guilt and anger twisted through her. She understood the anger, but what did he have to feel guilty about?
His rhythm sped and his fingers dug into her hips. She surrendered to the intensity, letting his conflict sweep her along. He came suddenly, crying out as his cock bucked inside her. His emotions gradually calmed and he wrapped his arms around her, rolling them to their sides on the living room floor.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered into her hair. “This was not… I didn’t mean to take this out on you.”
She snuggled back into the heat of his body, enjoying the intimacy of having him inside her. “You’ve kept everything bottled up since it happened. Something had to give.”
“I won’t use you as my whipping girl. This isn’t fair.” He tried to separate, but she reached back and pulled him closer.
“I’m your mate. Your pain is my pain. There’s no escaping that.”
For a long time he just held her, stroking her hair and warming her ear with his breath. “Let’s take a shower, then I’ll make this up to you.”
She shook her head and squeezed him with her inner muscles. “Not until you explain why you feel guilty. The destruction was devastating. I understand why you feel grief and anger, but you have no reason to feel guilty.”
He sighed, his hand settling over one of her breasts. “Everyone keeps telling me this wasn’t my fault. On some level, I know they’re right. But I keep feeling the collision. My ship hit his, so how is that not my fault?”
“You were trying to escape a trap Marsden set for you,” she objected. “He started the fight. You were trying to avoid it.”
“If I’d ordered the dive half a second sooner, we would have cleared Jason’s ship.”
His banked emotions flared as he spoke the name, so she asked, “Who is Jason?”
“Marsden’s son.” Gradually, Jakkin regained control of his emotions, drawing the flames back down into smoldering embers. “He’s the reason Royce is so determined to find me. It was—”
“A horrible, horrible accident. You were trying to avoid a madman and his spoiled offspring. The rest just happened.”
“I didn’t say it was entirely rational.” The words were familiar. She’d said them to him not that long ago. His thumb stroked her nipple through the thin fabric of her bra and sparks of desire rippled across their link. “If we lay here much longer, round two is going to be similar to round one.”
She arched her back, taking him deeper. “You can make it up to me with round three.”
He chuckled, but his hand drifted across her abdomen and into the juncture of her thighs. “You’re at least going to come this time.” He found her clit with his middle finger and she gasped. “In fact, you’ll catch up before we get started.”
Excitement tingled down her spine at his commanding tone. She shouldn’t be aroused by his caveman tendencies, but she couldn’t suppress the shiver. She turned her upper body, careful to keep their hips flush. His mouth sealed over hers and their tongues began to curl and slide.
He angled his free arm down from her shoulders and caressed her breasts, while his finger kept up the careful orbit around her clit. Just having him inside her was arousing enough, she didn’t need much encouragement. Soon she was panting and rocking against his hand, sliding her core over his shaft in the process.
Come for me, hellion. Let me feel you come around my cock.
The graphic command, combined with his skillful touch, set her senses on fire. She gasped into his mouth and shuddered in his arms, as her inner muscles rippled around him.
Jakkin swept Kelsey beneath him and pulled nearly out of her slick heat. She was flat on her belly this time, utterly surrendered to her mate. The thought was so exciting, he felt his balls tighten and threaten to spill his seed. With utter determination, he pulled back the pleasure and began moving in long, slow thrusts.
She was right to provoke him. He’d desperately needed the emotional release, but he would not use her again. Not even if she were willing to be his whipping girl. She was too important, too precious to him. He concentrated on the slide and the snug grip of her core around his aching shaft.
“I love you, hellion. Do you know how much?” Before she could answer, he opened his mind and flooded her with affection and tenderness.
She gasped, then moaned and her inner muscles contracted with aftershocks of her recent climax. “I love you too.”
He moved faster, slipping one hand beneath her so he could caress her breasts. She pushed up a bit, making more room for his hand. Then she tilted her hips, offering better access to her depths. She felt so good, and his emotions were so damn exposed, he knew he wouldn’t last long. No matter how hard he tried to fight it off.
Knowing the battle was lost, he slid his hand lower and covered her sex. She moved her legs farther apart, making room for his hand. He touched her, loving the way her folds stretched around him and how wet she’d grown with her building arousal. His fingers settled over her clit as his thrusts grew more demanding.
She cried out softly and tried to get her knees beneath her. He held her down, needing her like this, spread out beneath him. It was a harsh and primitive instinct, but he let her feel it, let the urge flow into her mind. She shook beneath him, then moved her hands to either side of her head and stopped struggling. Her legs were open, her body wet and welcoming. She was surrendered—submitted—to her mate, and it thrilled him as nothing before.
He released his hold on his desire and thrust faster and harder. She pushed her pleasure and excitement into his mind, but remained open and still beneath him. Her acceptance, her willingness to give him what he needed, even though it was strange and uncharacteristic for such a strong female, aroused him beyond enduring. He cried out as he thrust his entire length into her hot, wet core. His seed escaped in shuddering bursts and he felt her body echo his spasms.
For long, blissful minutes they floated together in a sensual haze. Contentment flowed freely in both directions across their link. They were physically sated and emotionally satisfied, which made it hard to want to move. Still, he had to be crushing her, so reluctantly he eased off her and then helped her to her feet.
She turned around and smiled up at him. “Feel better?”
“Was this one of Indigo’s tricks?”
She laughed and shook out her skirt. “In a way. She suggested that I provoke you, see if I could make you angry enough to let it out. I’m not sure this was exactly what she had in mind.” Her dress was still unbuttoned. In fact, several of the buttons were missing, but her breasts were covered by her bra.
“She’s a newly mated female. This is probably exactly what she expected to happen.” He held out his hand and she took it.
“Where are we going?”
“I owe you a nice long shower, and then round three will be entirely focused on you,” he promised with a sexy smile.
Chapter Ten
The following morning, Kelsey was sipping coffee and munching on a toasted bagel. She’d awaken before Jakkin for a change, which wasn’t surprising after the emotionally charged events he’d endured the day before. He emerged from the bedroom freshly showered and dressed in a crisp, clean uniform. His hair was still shaggy, but he’d shaved.
“Do you mind if Torrin joins us for breakfast?” He crossed to the table where she sat and poured himself a mug of coffee. “He wants to talk strategy and I thought you could help.”
She was already dressed and ready for the day, so she said, “Sure. I’m curious about him anyway. Is he battle born?”
“You’ll have to ask him. All I know is he’s not Rodyte military. At least not officially.”
“Ooh,” she teased. “That sounds ominous.”
Her opinion didn’t change when Torrin arrived a few minutes later. There was something about the man that was ominous. He was sleekly muscled rather than bulky like so many of the battle born soldiers. His hair was dark, like theirs, but his eyes were different. Rather than endlessly black, his were gray-green with gold phitons so faint they were barely noticeable.
Jakkin offered him food and beverages, but he declined both.
“I’d rather not take up any more of your time than necessary.”
Somehow she didn’t think it was their time he was worried about. Torrin seemed like a person most comfortable with only himself for company. Occupational hazard?
Fearless (Battle Born Book 12) Page 16
