by Lane Martin
Jesus, this was going to be a lengthy dance. Two steps forward. One step back. The chicken was golden brown, so I removed it from the pan and dropped the pasta into the now boiling water before I began working on my sauce.
“At the present moment, I feel like a dentist pulling teeth, Eden. Let’s try something else. Tell me how you know Mr. Lawrence and Mr. Carroll.” I scraped the bottom of the pan as the wine cooked down and poured the rest bottle into her empty glass. Then I poured the hot liquid over the bowl I had placed the cream cheese in and stirred it while she worried her bottom lip between her teeth.
“I knew Mr. Lawrence when I was a little girl. I haven’t seen him in years. He recognized me in the truck. He had promised me a ride when I was a kid and made me go inside to get it. I’ve never met Mr. Carroll before tonight.” Interesting. He clearly knew who she was. I drained the pasta and tossed it with the wine and cheese mixture before adding the chicken and mushrooms to the bowl. After preparing two plates, I took a seat next to her.
“Thank you. This looks and smells amazing.” She hummed in pleasure as she took her first bite of my creation. My cock jumped at the sound of the moans she made. I tried to distract him with food, taking a big bite myself. “So good.” I nearly choked at her sultry compliment and started coughing. She patted my back to assist me. Her touch wasn’t helping. In classic Eden form she tried to redirect the subject. I now had more questions than answers.
“Damn it, Eden!” My fork landed on my plate with a clatter. “I just want to know you.” Our eyes met. I lowered my voice. “Who are you, Eden Snow?” I knew she liked Coke over Pepsi. I knew her dream vacation was someplace with white sand beaches with fruity drinks adorned by paper umbrellas. Her favorite candy bar was a Skor bar. I even knew if she could meet anyone, alive or dead, it would be Michelle Obama because she respected her immensely. I knew all these things about her, yet I didn’t know her at all.
“You don’t want to know the answer to that, Rhett.” She too lowered her fork along with her head.
I leaned forward and kissed the top of her head before putting my hand under her chin and tilting her head up, so our eyes once again met. “Yes, I do, Eden. Tell me. Let me in.”
“You think you want to know, Rhett, but you don’t.” The tears she’d tried not to shed now streamed down her face
“Want to know why I know how to cook?” I used her own trick. Maybe if I told Eden a little more about myself, she would feel more comfortable sharing her truth with me. I didn’t wait for her to answer.
“After Beau died, we all kind of stopped existing. When Dad wasn’t working, he was out in the garage building a train set, a stupid toy. Mom rarely got out of bed. I was eight years old, Eden. My parents were gone, for all practical intents and purposes, and my big brother was dead. I had two fucking choices: die right along with them or live the life my brother died trying to protect. I chose the latter. It took me a while to figure it out, though sometimes I still feel like I don’t have a clue. I taught myself how to cook out of necessity when I decided peanut butter and jelly sandwiches just weren’t cutting it anymore. Do I wish things were different?” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to rein in my feelings before chancing another glance at her. “Every second. Give me a chance, Eden. I’ll protect you like I do the net. It’s what I do.” I hoped she could be brave and have the courage to trust me.
“I…” Her words trailed off as she shredded the napkin she held in her hands. “I’m not the nanny. Adelaide is my benefactor; she is paying my tuition to DU and giving me a place to stay when I’m in school. Before I met her, I was living in a rundown trailer park and working three jobs, barely getting by.” She paused and took a deep breath before looking up at me. There was the connection I was looking for between Eden and Addie. From what I’d heard and read, Adelaide had been in much the same situation when Barrett met her. It also explained why my team captain was so protective of Eden. Nothing she told me was earth-shattering, so why was she still so upset. If anything, what she’d told me was a relief. I took her hands in mine and gave them what I hoped was an encouraging squeeze, but she didn’t continue.
“What about Mr. Lawrence and Mr. Carroll?” I prompted, still wanting to know more.
“Hold on a sec.” Eden let go of my hands and stood from her chair. Her oversized sweatshirt covered her perfect ass, but her leggings hugged every luscious curve of her legs. “It will be easier if I just show you.” I watched Eden as she walked down the hall. What could she possibly have to show me? I didn’t like seeing her go, but she returned before I could overthink how much I was affected by her just leaving the room. As she walked toward me carrying a box, I got up and moved to the sofa. Finally, we were getting somewhere; the least we could do was get comfortable. Eden placed the box on the coffee table and wrenched her hands behind her back nervously. “Look in the box.”
“Okay.” I moved to the edge of the couch and opened the box. The first thing I pulled out was a child-sized costume, a bejeweled leotard. The next thing to come out of the box was a medal, a gold one imprinted with the words “Junior National Champion.” I looked up at Eden in shock. She was an ice skater. “I don’t understand, Eden. I asked you to go with me to the rink a hundred times. You never wanted to go. You always found some lame excuse as to why you couldn't go.”
“I couldn’t. I knew you wouldn’t understand. I think you should go.” Her voice was void of any emotion. She was shutting down on me and I still had no idea why. The box didn’t really explain anything.
“Go?” I stood in disbelief. What the actual fuck? We were finally making progress and she just expected me to leave. Why couldn’t she stand up for herself like she did everyone else?
“Yes, go.” She placed her hands on her hips and stomped her foot at me. “Go live the life your brother wanted for you. Go play ice hockey and find someone who can sit in the stands and cheer you on. I can’t do it. You’re not a magical prince, and I’m not your Ginny, Rhett. We don’t live in a make-believe world where love conquers all.” Jesus, is that what she really believes? She might as well have slapped me. Be pragmatic about this Rhett.
“I don’t understand you, Eden Snow.” I wanted to take her in my arms and to tell her to stop being so stubborn, but my little lion had a thorn in her paw. If I ever wanted to get close enough to help her get it out I needed to proceed with caution. She made her way to the door and opened it for me.
“Because my name isn’t Eden Snow. It’s Eden Lloyd. Or at least it used to be, and I just can’t be her anymore. Now go, Rhett. Expecto Patronum.” Well, fuck. She thought I was a pesky Dementor and wanted her Unicorn to come and chase me away. It was time for me to go.
I walked out the door but turned back to her before she had the opportunity to slam it shut. “This isn’t over, Eden.” At that point, I wasn’t sure if I was trying to convince myself, the woman I thought I knew as Eden Snow, or the frightened young girl named Eden Lloyd.
I heard through Adelaide and Kassie that Rhett traveled to California to visit his dad for Thanksgiving while the team had a break.
I missed him.
I yearned to know how things had gone on his trip. I picked up the phone at least a hundred times to call him but never hit the green button to dial. I started what felt like my thousandth text message but deleted it like all the others. I spent every second I wasn’t in class working on homework and finalizing plans for the Little Miners program. Rhett submitted his proposal on the educational portion of the program to Kassie and me via email. It was a brilliant proposal.
I missed hearing his voice.
Once winter break was over, we would begin looking for our initial group of players. I mindlessly refolded the jerseys we’d just got in for the kids. “Earth to Eden.” Kassie snapped her fingers inches away from my face, bringing me back to the present.
“Oh sorry, I zoned out.” I was doing a lot of that lately.
“Why don’t you just call him or go over to his hou
se and talk to him?” Holiday music played softly in the background as snow softly fell outside. I used to love this time of year. Not the holidays so much as the blanket of white covering everything. Only lately it reminded me that the snow didn’t represent a fresh, clean start. No, the snow just covered up the ugly that lay beneath it. In the spring the snow would melt, and everything that hid beneath it would be on display once again. Just like my life. I could change my name, but I couldn’t change who I was. I was the girl whose mother shamed not only the sport she loved but her country.
“It’s better this way.” I said the words to her, but they were more for me. Kassie and Adelaide were both head-over-heels in love, so they saw everything through rose-colored glasses. They didn’t understand why Rhett and I couldn’t work things out.
I missed his laugh.
“Better for whom, exactly?” Annoyance laced Kassie’s words.
“For Rhett. He needs someone who can support him.” I shrugged as I continued folding the already folded stupid shirts.
“Bullshit.” Kassie wasn’t one to mince words.
I missed his smile.
“It’s not bullshit,” I fired back. “Devin has said it himself and you’ve seen the articles just as well as I have.” With the comeback season her man was having, the media had been focused on why he was playing so well. The answer, according to the press, was glaringly simple: Devin’s game had improved because he’d met and fallen for a terrific and supportive woman, a woman who stood before me, frustrated beyond reason.
“Kassie is right, Eden. It’s complete bullshit.” The man himself entered the room. It wasn’t surprising that he would side with his girlfriend, but he had said otherwise to the sports media. I’d heard it myself. He pulled Kassie into his arms and kissed her fiercely before returning his attention to me. “What I said was that finding Kassie and getting traded was a dream come true.”
Jesus, I was surrounded by perfect couples.
“I’m a better player because I have a team that supports me. Meeting Kassie gave me a life off the ice. She helped me understand the game doesn’t define me any more than ice skating defined you.” Okay, his comment stung.
“I was just a kid, Devin. I didn’t have any control over the choices my mom made.” I was sure by now Rhett knew all about my mother’s drug smuggling endeavors to pay for my costly skating lessons. The thought of Rhett reading article after article about her arrest made me cringe. I was the daughter of a convicted drug trafficker.
“Exactly. So why are you letting it control your choices now?” Ouch, that was going to leave a mark. Devin didn’t stop there. “I know it’s scary as hell knowing you might lose the game, but do you know what’s even scarier?” Devin and Kassie had shown me nothing but kindness and support since meeting me, so I tried to remember they were coming from a place of love. “Never trying,” he answered for me. “Never being the player you were meant to be. I understand why you gave up on skating. As you said, you were just a kid, but what about now?” Devin held Kassie to his side.
“You gave up on Rhett before you even gave him a chance, Eden,” Kassie added. I sunk into an office chair the second they left. They were correct. I never gave us a chance.
I missed the way he looked at me. No, that’s not true. I just missed Rhett. The only problem was that I was just too chicken shit to admit it, or to do anything about it.
We had a four-day break for Christmas, but I was spending it alone. I’d visited my dad on Thanksgiving, and I couldn’t subject myself to him not recognizing me again so soon. With Niko gone, the house was eerily quiet. I jumped when my phone chimed.
Eden: I miss you
How could I respond to her text? I missed her too. More than I was willing to admit out loud. The gift I’d gotten her was the only one sitting under the tree Niko had put up haphazardly when he heard I was staying home. Not delivering it with the gifts I left at Adelaide and Barrett’s house when I’d dropped off the gifts for Levi and Ivy was stupid, but I wanted to give it to her personally. Until her text came in, I wasn’t sure if the box would remain wrapped in blue paper covered with penguins for eternity. It was a meticulous recreation of a wand made by Ollivanders. I included a note that read: You my brave and beautiful lion don’t need a spell or magic wand. You have all the power you need within yourself. All you need to do is believe in yourself.
Me: I miss you too
Eden: Meet me tomorrow at 7 am. Wear your PJs but keep it PG.
An address I didn’t recognize accompanied her message. I felt something for the first time since the night I was on my way to pick up Eden for our date: excitement.
I felt like an idiot ringing the doorbell to a home I had never been to at seven in the morning while wearing nothing, but a pair of flannel pajama bottoms paired with a long sleeve thermal shirt.
“Eden, can you get the door?” I heard someone yell from within. It sounded like a herd of elephants resided inside the bustling house. At least I hadn’t woken anyone up, and Eden was inside.
“Can I h—” The shock in Eden’s stunning face was apparent. She wasn’t expecting me. “Rhett, what are you doing here?” Eden placed her body between me and the crack in the door. She was wearing pajamas too. Her long sleeve red top was emblazoned with a giant moose and the coordinating lounge pants were white with an assortment of red stripes and designs with more moose. Or was it meese? Or maybe mooses? No, definitely moose. Focus, Crawford.
“Are you going to invite your guest to come in, Honey Pie?” a short redhead dressed in the same exact pajamas asked as she pulled the door open. “I’m Robin.” She quickly shook my hand and was gone in a flash.
“Oh yeah, uh sure. Rhett, would you like to come in?” Her face turned the same color as her shirt. It didn’t seem like she wanted me there, which was confusing as hell because she had been the one to text me. I didn’t have anything to lose, so I took door number one and followed Eden inside. Chaos is the best word to describe what I immediately encountered. The house was brimming with people, all of them wearing the same red and white outfit—even the men. Although they were all dressed alike, that was where the similarities ended. Blonde hair, black hair, dark skin, light skin, short and tall. Each member was unique. Diverse yet perfectly blended.
“Welcome to the aftermath.” Eden pointed to the packed family room. Remnants of gift wrap and newly opened gifts were strewn haphazardly around the space. Eden put her fingers up to her mouth and whistled loudly. The bustle died and all eyes turned to us. “Everyone, this is Rhett. Rhett, this is everyone.” Every person but the teenage girl who was busy on her phone waved at me in shock; My guess was that she knew I was coming. “I’m getting a cup of coffee. When I come back, I will start taking away gifts until I locate the responsible party.” Groans and snickers filled the room as she turned and marched in the other direction. I quickly followed behind her.
“Want me to put them in a lineup, Eden?” The sleeves were cut off the dude’s ridiculous getup.
“Nah, let them squirm. I’m pretty sure I know who the culprit is. Kyle, this is Rhett.” Kyle was her brother, the cop. He offered me his fist and I bumped it, still holding Eden’s gift in my other hand. In all the articles I read on Eden, I never saw any mention of adoption. It didn’t really surprise me since she was a minor. I imagined those records were sealed. But what I did know was that she loved this giant family. At least it explained why Eden didn’t call Robin and Silas “Mom” and “Dad.”
“Glad you’re here, man. She’s been a bigger pain in the ass than usual since you two broke up.” Eden glared at her brother.
Broke up? What the hell? Eden pushed me away before we even really got started. “We didn’t—” I didn’t get a chance to finish.
“Breakfast is ready,” a boy yelled as he came out of the kitchen chomping on a piece of bacon. He nearly choked on it when he saw me following his sister.
“Kayden stop yelling and say hello to Rhett.” Her giggle made me forget she hadn’t b
een the one to ask me here.
“Aren’t you the hockey guy? This is awesome. Am I dreaming?” From what Eden had told me, the kid was a huge sports fan and a talented athlete himself.
We entered the kitchen where a large man sat. “Silas, this is Rhett.”
“Glad to meet you. Grab a plate before the rest of the crew gets in here.” Silas motioned toward the large stack of dishes before asking hopefully, “By chance, do you know any Bronco players?”
“Sorry, can’t say that I do.” I shrugged.
“Here, let me take that from you,” a very pregnant woman offered, reaching for the gift in my hands.
“Ang, you’re not supposed to be lifting anything.” Greg, I assumed, because I knew her brother and his wife were expecting a baby took the box off her hands.
“I’m pregnant, not broken, Greg. Hi, Rhett, I’m Angela. And the guy behind me with the bubble wrap is my husband, Greg.”
“Don’t give me any ideas,” Greg said with a raised brow before offering his hand to me with a welcoming smile. I felt a tug on my pajama bottoms and looked down at a little cutie. Greg scooped her up and said, “This is the last of the littles—Jenna.” Greg poked her in the side, and she tossed her head back in laughter.
Eden grabbed a plate and handed me one too and we filled them as we made our way down the buffet line. This family was unlike anything I’d seen before. Robin and Silas had grown children who were starting families of their own, yet they still made room in their lives for other kids ranging in age from four to seventeen.
Callie, who was eleven, had dark skin and big brown eyes. She looked at me like I just hung the moon when I offered to help her with her job of clearing the table once breakfast was over. Eden disappeared from the kitchen with her mischievous seventeen-year-old sister, Skylar. Yeah, that not-so-innocent girl was well aware of the texts sent to me from Eden’s “missing” phone, which had mysteriously reappeared during breakfast sans our text exchange.
