by Lane Martin
“Don’t I know it? It’s one of the things I love about you.” She tensed in my arms. Shit! I used the “L” word. She was lacing up her running shoes.
“Let me up.” She was wiggling again, this time for an entirely different reason.
“Nope, not until we’re done, baby. I’m not going to let you push me away.” She settled a little at the endearment I learned last night did things to her.
“Now behave so I can finish telling you my story.” She needed to hear it.
“I’m listening.” She sounded exhausted. Truth be told, we hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep.
“You’re tired, so I’ll give you the CliffsNotes version. We became one of those statistics. I became an out-of-control, angry kid. Mom and Dad got a divorce. Mom ditched me and got remarried less than a year later. I haven’t seen her since I was twelve, which is when I started playing hockey. Dad thought I’d get my aggression out on the ice. What he wasn’t expecting was for me to love getting hit with pucks. At least I was feeling something. After Beau died, I didn’t think I’d ever feel anything other than angry again.”
“Rhett.” Eden’s voice trembled, barely above a whisper.
“I’m not telling you this so you feel sorry for me.” My words came out harsher than they should have.
“Then why are you telling me this?” Yeah, my baby wasn’t one to back down from a challenge. I hoped she could handle this one.
“Because my brother died in Afghanistan. Because I haven’t seen my mom in eleven years and now my dad is sick and can’t remember who he is, let alone who I am. Because I promised myself, I would never go a day without telling the people in my life how I feel about them. And now I’ve fallen hopelessly in love with the one girl who is more stubborn than I am. A girl with a wall around her heart so high I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to scale it or knock it down.”
“You can’t love me.” Eden shook her head as tears fell down her face.
“I do. I’m in love with you, Eden Snow.” It felt good to say the words.
“You can’t be. You don’t even know who I am.” She jumped out of bed and scrambled to get dressed, and then started throwing clothes at me.
I should have known she wouldn’t understand. I had fucked it up, but she was wrong about one thing: I knew her.
“Get out!” She yelled at me. Her tears had stopped, quickly replaced by anger.
“I’m not leaving you. I love you, baby.” This time it didn’t have the calming effect I was hoping for.
“I’m not your baby! Get out or I’ll call Barrett!” Son of a bitch. I couldn’t involve my team captain in this shit show. I depended on my check from the Miners to cover the additional cost of the care facility my dad was in. Barrett had warned me. He’d told me Eden was forbidden fruit, and what did I do? I didn’t just take a bite of her; I fell in love with her. Who knew it would be the thing that got me kicked out of the garden?
It was time to get out of there. “Fine, I’ll go—for now. But this isn’t over, Eden. I’m in love with you, and nothing you can say or do is going to change the way I feel about you.” I got dressed like a man about to walk the line.
“That’s where you’re wrong, Rhett. We’re doomed. We have been since the start. You can’t not say I love you and I can’t say it at all. You need someone to love, and I am unlovable. This was over before it ever started.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Eden. And I’m going to prove it to you if it’s the last thing I do.”
Me: “What’s comin’ will come, an’ we’ll meet it when it does.”
I tossed my phone into my bag of gear after hitting send on my latest text to Eden. I’d lost count of how many I’d sent. Of how many she’d ignored. At least they were showing as read. I chose to believe it meant something. This time I’d chosen another quote from J.K. Rowling. I was desperate to try anything to get through to her. It had been two days since I’d experienced both my best and worst day since meeting Eden. The best, obviously, because we had shared an amazing connection. The worst because she believed we were destined for failure before we even really got started. I promised before I left her apartment that I would prove her wrong, but it would be hard to do if she refused to take my calls, respond to my texts, or answer her damn door.
Alex Belenov, our starting goalie, was nursing a knee contusion that had kept him off the ice today. The injury wouldn’t keep him out of tomorrow’s game, but it did allow me some much-needed practice time with the rest of the team. Usually, nothing calmed me like rubber pucks being shot at me, but today that wasn’t the case. Today it just pissed me the hell off. And Vanz, unfortunately for him, took the brunt of my frustration when I decided I was sick of taking his shots and came out of the net at him. The guys had to pull me off of him. Coach Perkins was none too pleased and punished the entire team by making us do line drills. At least the burn I felt in every muscle was earned, unlike the burn from Eden.
“What crawled up your ass, Ford?” Vanz glared as he came barreling toward me and pulled me from the locker room bench by the jersey and was about to punch me when we heard McGill bark out, “that’s enough!” Niko relinquished his grip and I sunk back down to my seat without looking up at our team captain. Eden’s words—I’ll call Barrett. —ran through my head. They angered me then, but now they infuriated me. Eden is forbidden fruit. That’s what he’d told me before I ever met her. What the fuck did it matter to him? They weren’t related. He was married to Adelaide. She wasn’t really even the nanny, for Christ’s sake. It should have made things easier. Why did Barrett care so much?
Furthermore, why did she? She jumped out the window when I was staying with them just so we wouldn’t be discovered together in the guest room. Nothing fucking even happened, not physically anyway. And when I left her apartment over his garage the other morning, she made me wait for her “to make sure the coast was clear” before she texted me so nicely to “just go” from the safety of the main house. I was so tempted to go knock on the back door and demand answers. But the action wouldn’t have scored me any points with the woman who made me mental. Today was a different story. Enough was enough. Finding my resolve, I pushed back off the bench.
“I’d like a word with you, Barrett.” Using his first name seemed off within the walls of the locker room. Just like I was always called Ford by my teammates, he was always called Cap, but I refused to call him by the team name when this was personal. It was clear he understood when he answered.
“Probably past due, Rhett. I’ll meet you in the parking lot.”
I showered and changed into my street clothes and found Barrett McGill looking relaxed, leaning against his truck talking to his buddy, our left power forward, Devin Stevens. Not only were they best friends, but their women were best friends too. Barrett was a pretty chill guy, which was usually a cool thing. Now it just pissed me off. He’d warned me away from Eden, yet Adelaide and Kassie had been pretty blatant about fixing Eden up with me on more than one occasion. None of it made any sense.
“Let’s grab a beer. Mind if Devin comes along?” At least he asked, Niko just followed me out like our earlier interaction was long forgotten and it was a given he was coming too. The drive wasn’t far, but the permanent grin on Niko’s face fell when I tossed my keys at him and named him designated driver as we entered the dive bar we frequented. Red’s wasn’t the kind of place people expected to run into pro athletes, which was probably why it was a team favorite. The regulars weren’t interested in sharing that piece of information, lest the bar be overtaken by fans trying to catch a glimpse of hockey legends like McGill and Stevens. At Red’s they were just a couple of regular guys. McGill motioned toward an empty pool table and began to rack the balls, while Devin and Niko wordlessly made their way over to the bar.
“I assume the puffy eyes Eden’s been trying to hide the last few days have something to do with your pissy mood.”
I rested both my hands on the side of the table and lowered my head. I wasn’t su
re if I should be relieved she was upset, or mad at her for putting us both through this hell. I took a deep breath before looking up at Barrett, who had stopped arranging the balls while he waited for my answer. “Can I assume you won’t take me out if the answer is yes?”
Barrett glared at me. God help any boy who even looked at Ivy when she got older. “I can’t make you any promises. Not until you tell me you’re as miserable as she is.”
I laughed out, “I am,” and the tension between us broke.
Barrett visibly relaxed and returned to preparing the table for our game. For the first time since leaving Eden’s apartment, I felt just a little better. Knowing she was hurting too gave me hope. She wouldn’t be upset if what we shared didn’t matter to her.
“Do we get to let him live?” Devin asked before handing Barrett a beer.
“As long as he fixes things with Eden we will,” Barrett confirmed before Devin handed me a glass too. Niko was still over at the bar chatting with a few of the regulars. A look passed between Barrett and Devin. I had to ask.
“Wait a second, I didn’t think you wanted me to have anything to do with her?”
“Look, Eden’s been through a lot in her life. I still didn’t know you very well and I was trying to protect her. The last thing she needed was some chippy player coming at her.” Barrett shrugged as Niko joined us.
“To fixing things,” Devin offered in a toast as we all lifted our glasses. If only I knew how.
“What exactly is this douche fixing?” Niko asked while Barrett poured a second round. Devin broke and called stripes.
“Whatever is going on between him and Eden,” Devin offered with a shrug as he sunk the eleven ball in the corner pocket.
“The hot as fuck nanny?” It was a good thing I was holding my beer and not a cue stick. Devin, on the other hand… In a move straight out of a Bruce Lee movie, he pinned Niko against the wall, cue at his throat. I couldn’t help but smirk. It looked like my girl had not only me and Barrett looking after her, but Devin too. For someone who thought she was unlovable, she sure had a lot of people in her corner. Men who, like me, would do anything for her.
“Care to rephrase, Vanz.” The tone of Devin’s voice held no question.
Niko gulped down the lump in his throat as I sat my beer down on the edge of the table. Barrett’s free hand stretched out in front of me, barring me from moving. Niko looked at me. “Oh shit! You and the nanny? I didn’t mean anything by it. Come on Dev. I know you’re whipped, but you’ve got to admit she’s a banging little thing.” Jesus, was Niko for real? Did he get hit in the head with a puck at practice again? I don’t know who growled louder, Barrett or me.
“That’s the woman I love dick wad.” At my words Barrett dropped his arm and Devin released the stick. Niko doubled over and lifted his hands to his throat.
“Don’t make me call Perkins,” Red yelled from behind the bar.
Fuck that was the last thing any of us needed, especially me. I was already on thin ice and I wasn’t even on the roster. As the third goalie, I understood I could easily be replaced; it was the last thing I wanted.
“The woman you love?” Niko asked as Barrett assured Red we wouldn’t be making any trouble. My roomie seemed troubled at my admission. Hurt. “I didn’t even know you were dating her. She’s the girl you’ve been texting? I thought we were friends, Rhett.”
“We’re not dating. You and I are friends, Niko.” Jeeze. I sounded like a pussy and a dick at the same time.
“Did you tell her that?” Barrett narrowed his eyes on me.
“That we weren’t dating? No. I didn’t tell her that.” I wasn’t stupid, but I was out of patience with all of the drama, and I was going to get whiplash if I didn’t settle down.
“I think we better sit down and figure this out.” Devin gathered our empty glasses and motioned toward a table in the corner.
“Good idea.” I was maxed out on all the bullshit. It was time to get everything out on the table.
“Have you heard the story about how I had to follow this guy back to South Carolina to fix his shit with Ladybug?” No, but it was a story I needed to hear.
Seeing as it was my friend and personal savior on the line, I answered with what I hoped was a bright “hello,” but probably sounded totally fake. I appreciated how Adelaide worried about me, but having girlfriends was still new to me. And as sweet as Addie was, I was terrified she would kick my ass to the curb when she found out I broke one of the two rules she had asked me to follow while I lived there.
No drugs. 2. No overnight guests
“Could you come over? Barrett is running late from practice and I could use some help.” It wasn’t like Barrett to be late. The man was bonkers about his wife and kids and hated every second he was away from them. Sometimes it was hard to believe Levi and Ivy weren’t his. Seeing Barrett with them made me happy and sad at the same time: sad I had never had a father of my own, but happy that Adelaide had found such a kind and loving man. She and her kids deserved it.
“Sure, I’ll be over in just a second.” I was already on my way down the stairs.
“What’s up?” I was expecting to find Levi running around naked and Ivy crying while Adelaide chased after him. What I wasn’t expecting was Kassie and Adelaide sitting in an otherwise quiet house drinking wine. “I thought you needed help with the kids,” I added before I let her answer.
“I never said that.” She giggled after taking another sip. “You assumed. And you know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me.” Adelaide nearly spilled her wine and fell into a giggle fit.
“How much of that has she had?” I asked Kassie. Our girl was drunk.
“It’s her first glass.” Adelaide wasn’t much of a drinker. In fact, before she met Barrett, she had never even had a sip. It was hard to fathom how many rules the girl used to live with. Now she was coming out of her shell.
I poured myself a glass and joined them on the couch. “Well, we better help her out with the rest.” If I was walking into the ambush, and I sensed that I was, I needed liquid courage too. Both Adelaide and Kassie had been hounding me for answers nonstop for the last two days. I wasn’t fooling anyone when I told them I was fine.
“Where are the kids?” I asked, trying to distract the women, who were looking me over intently. I guess I should have changed my clothes and fixed my hair before I came over.
“Oh no you don’t, missy. I’m on to you.” Addie pointed an accusing finger at me. “The kids are with Uncle Chance and Auntie Roxy. You’re not getting out of telling us what’s going on between you and Rhett this time.”
“I think this is going to take more than wine,” I admitted before gulping down my glass.
“We thought you might say that,” Kassie replied as she produced a bottle of tequila and three shot glasses. I knew I liked these girls.
“Oh, let’s play a drinking game.” Addie wiggled around in her seat while Kassie poured our shots.
“Do we have to?” I sighed as I lifted my glass.
“Yes,” my new drinking buddies both exclaimed as I downed my drink. I already knew I couldn’t escape their inquisitions.
Eden: ;0)
What the hell? I looked at my phone again. Eden was a lot of things, but she wasn’t was a girl who sent winky faces. Especially not after the way she sent me away the other day.
“What’s wrong?” Barrett asked as we still sat across from each other at Red’s. While he and Devin hadn’t really given me any new information as to what was going on with Eden, they did reassure me I shouldn’t give up on her. I never planned on giving up, but I was starting to lose my patience.
If she couldn’t talk to me, we didn’t stand a chance. I’d experienced first-hand what a lack of communication did to relationships. After Beau died, we all completely shut down because talking lead to feelings and remembering what had been lost. I didn’t blame my brother for the break-up of our family. I mean, he fucking died. No, I blamed that on us—t
he living. If Eden couldn’t trust me enough to tell me what was going on with her, then what was there to fight for? I didn’t blame her for what her mother did—that was in the past—but I couldn’t understand why she was letting it rule her present and future.
“I just got an odd text from Eden. I’m not sure what it means, but I know I can’t just sit here.”
“You’re going to take another shot?” Come to find out, Barrett didn’t really have a problem with me dating Eden. He only warned me off her because he was protecting her like any “big brother” would.
Taking a shot wasn’t a role I was accustomed to. But if Eden and I were going to have a scoring chance, I’d need to leave myself open to her.
“Boys, we need to roll out.” I told the guys as I got up from my seat, phone still in hand.
“I just got a text from Kassie too. Apparently, Don Julio made an appearance at your house and got friendly with the girls.” I didn’t like the look on Devin’s face. Barrett didn’t seem please by it either.
“Fuck,” Barrett blurted out as he tossed some bills down on the table while Niko yelled, “Ole.”
“Dang, it looks like I missed the party,” Niko complained as we took in the sight before us. A bottle of tequila sat on the table across from our women, who were sprawled out on the large sofa. I glared at Niko. No way in hell was I letting him anywhere near Eden, especially not when she’d been drinking; his declaration that she was the “hot as fuck nanny” was too fresh in my memory. I didn’t even know why he was here. As soon as the text messages started coming in from our little party girls, I knew exactly where I was going: home with Barrett. And honestly, we were all still good to drive. Even if I wasn’t on the roster, I still had to be ready to play at a moment’s notice. That was why none of us really drank too much during the season. We had to always be at our peak performance.
