by Sarah Tork
“Finish your drink,” Jenna’s eyes narrowed, unconvinced. “And then get your ass on the dance floor. If I don’t see you in a few minutes, you’re shark bait!”
My eyes rolled at her tone. Bitch whatever!
“Yeah okay!” I assured her, reluctantly taking another sip of the punch.
What if I got drunk?
I’d never been drunk. Tonight wasn’t really the night I hoped to have that first, especially if James was going to show up with Donna.
Ugh! Donna and James. Why? How? I couldn’t believe I came, knowing that they were going to be here, probably up in each other’s arms kissing. Making loud grunt noises, dry humping as they danced, probably thinking they were the King and Queen of this party.
What the hell was I then?
The King’s mistress and the Court Jester?
My roles included keeping the King happy, however he saw fit. While alongside his main lady (Donna), my duty was to provide comedy for them while they basked in the pleasures of a feast with their closest allies.
Damn it! I knew this party was a bad idea.
How did I let Jenna talk me into going?
It was a trap.
I walked into a trap!
And as if it were fate, a loud and obnoxious animal noise echoed through the room, ostentatiously overriding the music. Incredibly nervous, I took another swing of my punch, the sour taste distracting me from the loud barbaric noises that continued to rattle loudly.
They were excited. Taking a deep breath, I turned and faced the animal calls to see who it was.
I lowered my gaze instantly, immediately wishing I’d never turned.
I shouldn’t have turned.
I should have stayed with my back to that part of the party.
It would have been for the best.
I could have just walked on without a worry. Now I was faced with a dilemma, one that my heart currently pounded at a mile a second for, ripping against my chest. My heart clearly wanted out of the misery that was my body.
The body that still ached for his touch again.
James.
He was here.
Gulping, I gazed back at the entrance.
Wearing a backwards Baseball cap, a fitted black t-shirt and dark blue jeans that looked like they were made for his long muscular legs, he stood with his crew of backward Baseball caps. They were true Baseball fans as well as the schools shining stars, the Royal Heights High School Baseball team.
Cue the applause, royalty had arrived.
Kings I say.
I wasn’t the only one who thought this. They acted like they were, and my fellow classmates seemed to agree. The crowd parted for the overly confident, overly arrogant leaders as they made their way down into the dance floor. Making matter’s worse, like in an ‘I can’t believe it could get worse’ kind of way, girly screams rippled through the entire room as if it were a tangible vibration.
Whatever it was, my punch swirled in rapids because of it.
Ugh, can you say too much! I glanced at the evil suspects, a group of floundering females, twisting and twirling through the crowded center. It was as if they were zombie bees lusting after the nectar of a flower that would keep them alive.
Guess who played the flower?
Girls and their boys, was there actually a way for them to behave like ladies when their so called men entered into their zones? I didn’t think they needed to scream like crazy hyena’s, disrupting every single person’s ability to hear.
Any more screams from those screeching lunatics, and I’d be lucky not to be in line for a hearing aid by the end of the year.
God I’m bitter! I stared at the growing crowd, as the mixture of bright pink and violet dressed piranhas stalked quickly to the apple of their eyes.
Other girls…beware….these boys were off limits.
The Kings of the party had finally arrived.
Finally!
Now why couldn’t I share that sentiment? Oh yeah, I know why, maybe because I was screwed over by one of them.
So screw them and screw him. I mean James, screw him.
Not literally though, he’s lost those privileges from me for life. This girl wasn’t going to share anymore kisses with that fool.
That liar!
Once in close proximity to James, Donna burst out of the hot girl cocoon she hid in while traveling through the crowded dance floor. It was as if they were a rose blooming in the spring, but Donna was the entire Rose and the other girls were just the leafy stems.
God!
Why were her girls always playing second fiddle to her? They were the clam, and she would always be the pearl.
And there you go, life explained.
Both groups collided, intermixing. They shuffled together through the dance floor, oblivious of the commotion and disturbance they were causing. They laughed loudly, expressing their joy of the positions in life they were in.
The sliding door to the backyard opened, and the entire King and Queen group laughed loudly walking out.
It was all a blur. I didn’t even know what I’d just saw.
A collage of overconfident douchebags walked in like they owned the room. There, I explained it.
It was a group that I didn’t want to be a part of and wouldn’t have to be, all thanks to James and his way of doing things.
You know the slimy way! Looking away, I put on my ignore face as if to say ‘I don’t know you’, ‘or you’.
Ignoring the pain in my chest, it was time to forget and move on. I needed to convince myself that seeing Donna gallop happily towards James wouldn’t plague my dreams and thoughts for the next while.
I had too!
Or else I was going to be stuck in this betrayed love sick state for the rest of my life.
I took another sip of punch, hoping the alcohol could do something about my nerves. As the liquid hit my tongue, I cringed again. I didn’t know how many sips it was going to take for me to get used to the sour, sugary, bitter taste of it.
“Oh God, I thought I was the only one!” An unfamiliar voice exclaimed beside me.
I jerked in shock, the loud voice taking me by surprise. I looked up finding a tall boy standing beside me, holding the same red plastic cup with a similar expression on his face.
Disgusted?
His eyes twinkled once they connected with mine and his nice puffy lips spread into a smile. “I can see you don’t like it either!”
Talk Annabelle! Cute guy alert! Talk! I ordered myself.
I cleared my throat. “Ugh yeah! It wasn’t what I expected.”
“What did you expect it to be like?” He grinned. He wasn’t as tall as James, but he was still tall. His hair was dark blonde, smoothed back.
His eyes were blue. I liked blue. I really liked blue.
Not as much as green, but that was okay, blue was good.
I could do blue.
Easily.
“I thought it was going to be like a standard punch, fruity and sweet.” I told him, laughing. “Do you know what it is?”
His eyes twinkled again as his smile grew wider. He had nice teeth too. “Well I think I agree with you, it is punch, but fruity and sweet, that’s an obvious no!”
“Kool-Aid?” I offered as a possibility for the weird concoction. He nodded as if it could have been a possibility.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought it was. I was like, I know this taste. I’ve tasted this before. I just couldn’t remember it because the last time I had Kool-Aid was when I was a kid!” He tilted his head back and laughed.
I stared at his body as he laughed.
God, I was a horny devil. Why couldn’t I just focus on their personality’s first, then their bodies. Then, if they turned out to be assholes, I could walk away without any worries of lusting after them. I wished I could follow through with that logic, but instead I was repeatedly doing the wrong thing. Why else would I have welcomed James so easily back on to my lips in the library today, when he didn’t deserve it?<
br />
I have problems.
Seriously.
“Yeah, Kool-Aid but there’s something else, something I can’t name.” I told him, giving a toothy smile which he seemed to enjoy. He shuffled his body closer to mine as the people around us crowded the space up.
“I think it’s spiked.” He leaned in, whispering as if it were a scandalous secret. I laughed out loud as he wagged his eyebrows playfully. “Wanna get drunk?”
I laughed again. “I don’t even know your name?”
I wouldn’t be making that mistake again. I was going to know the name of the person first before having a conversation with them.
“Dean.” He answered, stretching out a hand. “What’s yours?”
“Annabelle, but you can call me Anna.” I told him, shaking his warm hand. “Do you go to Royal Heights? I don’t think I’ve seen you before?”
He shook his head, not letting go of my hand. “No, I go to Pleasant View High with Peter’s cousin, that’s how I found out about the party.”
“Pleasant View, that’s cool.” I smiled at him, pulling my hand away from his firm grasp. “Do you like it there?”
“I do, but now that I think about it, I think I’d be happier at Royal Heights.” Dean grinned, looking into my eyes.
Oh my God!
Was this flirting? Were we flirting?
Oh my goodness, I was being flirted with and not in an asshole kind of way, but in an honest, nice, old school, how a gentleman would treat a lady kind of way.
So this is what it was supposed to be like.
Being swept off your feet.
James who?
I turned away, feeling my face heat up. After a second to catch my breath, I slowly gazed back at him. “Would you now, how so? What made you change your mind about schools so quickly?”
Dean leaned in again, starring deeper into my eyes. “Sometimes fate has a way of doing things that completely knocks you off your feet. I’m kind of having one of those fate moments.”
“One of those moments, a moment that’s happening right now?” I leaned towards him, holding the red cup to my chest.
“Maybe.” He whispered and then looked away at the dance floor for a second, then back at me. “Anna, you wanna dance?”
I looked at the dance floor and the worry that usually followed was no more. Instead, it was replaced with the excitement of having a new experience. I’d never danced with a guy before.
What about the horizontal dance you did with James?
Making out with James on his bed did not count as dancing, whatever it was.
This…..was going to be harmless fun.
Dancing! I gulped once and gazed back at an apprehensive looking Dean. “Yeah, I’d love to dance with you Dean.” I nodded and his worried face melted into pure delight.
Dean held out his hand and amazingly, without skipping a beat, I took it. The warmth from his skin made me feel dizzy and lightheaded as tiny bubbles exploded in the pit of my stomach. He took our cups and threw them in the trash.
So this is what real attraction felt like. When a guy really liked you, he wouldn’t be afraid to show it. Dean had acted quickly. I’d been a fool all this time, thinking whatever it was that James was doing was even remotely close to representing being liked.
Being harassed, used then ignored was the not a recipe for being liked. I was invited to dance at a party, where I was once too scared to even participate in.
I was changed girl…no scratch that, a changed woman.
Dean led me to the dance floor and the dance track changed into a slow R and B slow jam. Noticing the alarm in my eyes, Dean stopped and faced me. “Is this okay?”
I looked around the dance floor and everyone was quickly partnering up. I didn’t have to worry about James and his crew since they were outside for the time being. I searched for Jenna and her friends, catching the back of them as they made their way off the dancing area and towards the refreshment table. I faced Dean again and using every ounce of courage I had, I nodded.
Then it was as if it were all happening in slow motion. Dean stepped into my embrace and pulled both my hands around his neck, then placed his arms around my waist. “Is this okay?” He murmured, looking deep into my eyes, not smiling.
I nodded, transfixed by his stare. I followed his lead and we moved slowly to the music. I looked away off the dance floor and caught Jenna’s eye. Her jaw dropped when she realized what I was doing. She smiled widely, giving me a thumbs up. Dean tightened his hold around my waist and I looked back at him.
I giggled nervously. “This is…I don’t know.”
Dean grinned. “It’s nice. I think it’s nice.” He murmured sweetly.
“I think it’s nice too.” I murmured back.
“You’re cute you know that.” Dean said softly. “Of course you know it, how could you not.”
I blinked a few times at his candor, or what I hoped was his candor, he could be lying. I hoped he wasn’t lying. “Thanks.” I murmured. Feeling brave all of a sudden, I blurted out. “Um, you’re cute too.”
I could feel the heat in my cheeks rise a few notches. There was no way my cheeks weren’t red. I instantly looked away.
I’d never been this honest with a guy.
Even with James.
Dean grinned, liking what he’d heard. He tightened his grip around my waist again, pulling me closer to his body. “You have no idea how good hearing that makes me feel. Thanks baby.”
Baby?
Nobody called me that but James. Wait, what? Screw James, hello Dean! I smiled back, tightening my arms around his neck, pulling my body closer to his, feeling his hard body now.
“Do you play sports?” I asked out of nowhere. His face lightened up.
“Yeah, I play.” He stated.
“Well?” I asked impatiently. “What sport?”
He smiled big, showcasing all his teeth. He had a great smile.
“Baseball.” He replied breathily. “I’m a pitcher.”
My eyes widened at Baseball. Not another one!
What was going on? Was there something about me that attracted a certain athletic group? Okay two guys didn’t mean anything. It was merely just a coincidence that for the first time in my life, having the attention of two cute guys, they’d just happened to play Baseball.
But James didn’t pitch, he batted. So there you go, the difference.
“Are you a batter too?” I asked him. I knew jack shit about Baseball, just the bare minimum.
“Nah, when I played during freshman year, I batted in a few games, but my strengths lay better in pitching.” He explained.
“Are you the star pitcher at your school?” I asked him and was awarded with a prize winning smile.
And here we go again.
Hello Mr. Arrogance…number two!
“But of course.” He replied as any champion would, with power and confidence. He knew who he was. So here’s where I was getting confused, and I had hoped I wouldn’t do this to myself, but what the hell was he doing here with me if he was a champion? Clearly a champion would want to be dancing the night away with a girl equivalent of a prize.
Was I a prize?
My gut reaction, my first instinct, I wasn’t one. Damn it, I wished I could boast myself up, grow my ego, pretend even. But I couldn’t, I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror and say ‘you’re worthy of dancing with a champion’.
So this had to end.
I tightened my hold around his neck and he quickly replicated that action around my waist. I was going savor every second of this moment and when the song finished, I was going to let go.
“This was nice.” I told him softly. His blue eyes peered into mine, making my insides melt.
Oh why?
Why did it have to end?
It just began.
For once in my life, why couldn’t I just let go and let things happen without worrying about the repercussions? I knew the answer to that, because I had let go. I let go at lunch today
and ended up feeling the lowest I’d ever felt.
Feeling used and dissed.
Left high and dry.
Dined and dashed.
It was a message from the universe, stop trusting cute Baseball players, they’re just going to treat you like garbage, but disguise it as something else.
I wasn’t going to be blind anymore. I wasn’t going to allow someone to confuse me or play with my emotions as if I didn’t have any.
Not anymore.
There were no more plans of any junk food binges, so there had to be no more stupid mistakes. That meant in less than thirty seconds, me and Dean Baseball player, pitcher extraordinaire, had to say goodbye forever.
God, I was dramatic!
The beautiful feeling of being in his arms had to go away. I had to prepare my body with less than twenty seconds to go.
First things first, stop staring into his beautiful blue eyes.
Check.
Fifteen seconds.
Next, move my body a few inches away from his. I felt my body grow cold instantly without his heat.
Check.
Ten seconds.
Next, loosen the hold I have over his neck. I loosened the hold and I could feel his eyes on me, questioning my movements. “Everything okay?” He murmured.
“Yeah, everything’s cool.” I said, glancing around the room, anywhere but his eyes.
Five seconds.
My hands moved down, no longer holding his neck. They clasped his shoulder blades for the last seconds of the song.
One second.
The song finished, quickly morphing into dance track. Couples around us broke apart and started dancing wildly to the new track. I let go of Dean’s shoulder blades and he loosened his grip around my waist, and I reluctantly stepped out of his embrace. I looked up at him and his forehead creased, his eyes reading confusion. We were having such a good time, something was clearly clicking between us, but then something happened and everything changed. That something was my brain, my mind, my common sense, my wisdom from past experience. I was a changed girl who had no intention of following in my previous footsteps of shame and foolishness.
He’d understand soon enough that I wasn’t the girl for him, moving on to a finer piece of ass who could proudly dance beside him, stand beside him as the worthy prize to his champion like stature.
