by Rye Hart
I paused, but Darren didn’t respond. I wiped my hands on my jeans and kept going.
“But I’m not that kid anymore,” I said. “When you and Mom sent me to military school, I was angry. I hated you both for a long time. Then, I realized it was the right thing. You both helped me straighten up and eventually, I became a better man. My time in the army changed me more than anything else ever could. I grew up.”
Darren’s eyes were narrowed. I expected him to argue, to say something, but he didn’t. He watched me and said nothing.
“I love Tara,” I said firmly. “I’ve always loved her, and now I’m the kind of man she needs. I’m the kind of man she deserves.”
Darren scoffed and shifted in his chair.
“You don’t have to believe that,” I said quickly. “In fact, I don’t expect you to. I’m here to tell you I’m in love with your daughter. She’s the love of my life, and nothing you say or do is going to keep us apart. If you can’t accept that, you’re only going to hurt her, and I know you don’t want to do that.”
I fell silent and watched Darren. His eyes never lost their fire, and his lips were pressed into a thin line. He looked ready to throw a punch.
“Cathy,” Darren called, standing up. “Take Caleb home.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX - TARA
My oncologist’s office was cold and terrifying. I sat shivering in a chair, waiting for her to arrive. This appointment wasn’t an exam. I’d already had multiple tests done in the past few weeks. Now, finally, we were going to discuss my treatment plan. I was nervous but also excited. I was ready to get started. I was ready to fight this thing.
“Tara,” Dr. Young said. “Good morning.”
“Hello,” I said. I tried to smile, but my face felt tight.
“I know you’re nervous,” she said. “Honestly, I don’t blame you. This is all scary as hell.”
“It is,” I said, nodding. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now.”
“Well, that’s why we’re here,” she said. She shuffled a few papers and then looked back up. “I think our best option is to start with Chemo. Then, if that doesn’t do what we want it to, we’ll consider surgery.”
“You don’t think surgery would be better now?” I asked.
“It would be more aggressive,” she said. “Which, isn’t always better.”
“But,” I began.
“Listen,” she said. “With this kind of cancer, we can never be sure we’re doing the right thing. We just have to start somewhere and push forward.”
I nodded. She wasn’t saying anything that calmed my nerves, but at least we were moving forward. Besides, my cancer was rare. I couldn’t blame her for being uncertain. I also appreciated the fact that she wasn’t trying to blow smoke up my ass and hype me up with false hope. I was a medical professional and I knew I needed to be realistic.
“What are the chances I’ll survive this thing?” I asked boldly. My voice was stronger, much stronger than I felt.
“We caught it early,” she said. “These headaches are the first sign, so that’s good. If the treatment is successful, then I don’t see any reason why you can’t live out your life in remission. But if it’s not, well, we can never really know for sure.”
I nodded again. I felt like there wasn’t anything left to say. My chances of survival depended entirely upon luck. If things worked, I would be okay. If they didn’t, I would die. There was no middle ground.
I listened to Dr. Young tell me the details of my treatment. She walked me through exactly how many chemotherapy sessions I would undergo and what we would do after each one. She tried to be encouraging and positive, but I knew better.
When I left her office, I was exhausted. I had the day off, so I got in my car and drove to my apartment. My mind was blank until I walked through my front door. My phone rang, jolting me back to consciousness. I pulled it out of my pocket and smiled when I saw Caleb’s name flashing across the screen.
“Hi,” I said. “I just got home.”
“How’d it go?” he asked. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there with you.”
“It was okay,” I said. “The doctor walked me through her plan.”
“Which is?” he asked.
“Chemo,” I said. “She wants me to start as soon as possible.”
“Good,” he said. “That’s good, right?”
“Yeah,” I said weakly. “Yeah, it’s good.”
Caleb paused. I could practically hear how worried he was through the phone. I sighed and sunk down on my couch, taking deep breaths and trying not to cry. If I broke down, then Caleb would only feel worse.
“Come over,” he finally said. “You have the day off, right?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I’m off all day.”
“Then, come over,” he said. “I just got back from the station. I’m here for the rest of the day.”
I smiled. “Let me shower first, then I’ll head that way.”
“Hurry,” he said.
“I will.”
We said goodbye, and I took a step toward my bathroom. Before I could make it another, there was a loud knock on my door. I groaned. This day already felt endless, and it wasn’t even noon.
I walked toward the door and pulled it open, my eyes widening in shock when I saw my father standing before me. His eyes were lighter today, and his face was devoid of any anger. He looked nervous.
“What are you doing here?” I asked sharply.
“I’m here to talk to you,” he said softly. “Can I come in? Please?”
I wanted to slam the door in his face. After our last conversation, I couldn’t imagine what he possibly had to say to me. Still, he didn’t look angry. He didn’t even look upset. I sighed and stood aside, gesturing for him to come inside.
He walked quickly to the couch and sat down, tapping his foot nervously. My father was never a jittery person. He was always strong and confident. He didn’t shy away from things, and he never got scared. Seeing him shake with nerves was disconcerting. I sat down across from him and waited.
“I was wrong,” he said quickly, spitting out the words as if they hurt. “What I said about Caleb. I was wrong.”
“What?” I said. I’d waited a long time to hear him say those words, and now that he had, I couldn’t believe them.
“I’m sorry I was so angry with you,” he said. “Honey, I was just worried. Most of your life, it was you and me. You were all I had, and when Caleb came along, I saw you change.”
“You got scared,” I said.
“Yes.” He nodded. “Caleb wasn’t the best kid. I know he’s different now. As much as I hate to admit it, I can see how much he’s changed.”
“He has,” I said.
“I want the best for you,” Dad said. “I don’t always show it in the right way, but that’s all I want. All I want is for you to be safe and happy, Tara. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
“Caleb makes me happy,” I said. I smiled. “He’s the best person for me, Dad. There isn’t anyone better.”
Dad sighed and finally relaxed. He sunk into the couch and smiled weakly. I could tell it took a lot of strength for him to come over and see me.
“I’ll stay out of your way,” he said. “It won’t be easy for me, but I’ll adjust. If Caleb is who you want, then I’ll butt out. I promise.”
“Thank you, Dad,” I said. I laughed lightly, relieved. “Thank you for coming here.”
“It was time,” he said. “I couldn’t let things get any worse between us.”
I smiled again, but as I looked at him, my stomach dropped. For a second, I’d forgotten all about my illness. I was so happy that my father was finally apologizing and accepting my decision that everything else disappeared.
I didn’t want to tell my dad about the cancer while he was angry with me. Now I didn’t have any more excuses. I stared at his face. He was smiling for the first time in weeks. He looked okay again. Happy. And, I was about to destroy that.
“Dad,”
I said slowly. “Now that we’re okay, there’s something you should know.”
“What is it?” he asked. The smile slipped off his face. He searched my eyes, and I looked away quickly. I studied my hands and took a deep breath. There was no turning back now.
“I got my headaches checked out,” I said. “You were right, they weren’t normal.”
“What did they say?” he asked, sitting forward on the couch.
“At first, they weren’t sure,” I said. My voice was soft. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to get through this. “Then, after discussing things with an oncologist, they realized what was wrong.”
“Oncologist?” My dad clung onto that word like only a doctor could. I watched fear settle in his eyes.
“I was diagnosed with brain cancer,” I said, articulating each word carefully. “It’s rare. They almost didn’t catch it, but they did. That’s what’s been causing my headaches. That’s why I’ve been so sick.”
My dad sprung off the couch and hurried over to me. He pulled me into his arms and held me against his chest. His reaction was unlike Caleb’s or Cathy’s. He didn’t waste time with words. He just held me, silently rocking me back and forth until we were both crying.
It was a long time before he pulled away from me and when he did, I immediately longed for his arms. Caleb had been more right than he knew, I needed my dad. I refused to let myself admit it or even think it because it hurt too much. Now that he was here, I never wanted him to leave. I didn’t want to go through this without him.
“What are they going to do?” Dad finally asked, wiping tears from his eyes. “What’s the treatment plan.”
“Chemo,” I said. “The doctors want to start with chemo and then, if that doesn’t work, move on to surgery. I have a tumor, but it’s small. They’re hoping chemo will shrink it enough that surgery won’t be necessary.”
“How long did they give you?” he asked.
His voice was tight, and I knew he didn’t really want to hear the answer. He was terrified. Scared in a way only a parent could be.
“They don’t know,” I said honestly. “This cancer is rare. They won’t know what works until it works. And if nothing does, then at least we tried.”
My dad nodded and hugged me again. This time, he didn’t let go until I was ready.
“I love you,” he whispered against my hair. “I love you more than you’ll ever know.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN - CALEB
Two hours after I called Tara, she finally knocked on my door. I wrenched it open and pulled her inside.
“That was a long shower,” I said.
“My dad showed up,” she said without hesitation.
“What?” My eyes flew open in surprise as she led the way to my couch.
We sat down, and I noticed the redness in her eyes. She’d been crying. Her hair was damp from her shower, and there were bags under her eyes. She looked exhausted. I immediately wanted to demand she lay down but I knew she’d never listen.
“He showed up unexpectedly,” she said, eager to tell me everything.
“Why?” I asked. “What did he say?”
I held my breath and waited for the worst. The last thing Tara needed was another fight with her father. He didn’t yet know she was sick. If he kept pushing her, he would break her. I was already angry with him before she started to explain.
“He apologized,” she said. “He actually apologized for everything.”
“What?” I blinked. My anger faded in an instant, and suddenly, I was left in a dizzying haze of confusion.
“I still can’t believe it happened,” she said. “He just showed up and said he was sorry. He admitted he was wrong about you. He promised to accept our relationship.”
“You’re lying,” I said. “There’s no way in hell he said that.”
“He did.” She laughed. “I swear. He said he would stay out of our way if we were sure we wanted to be together.”
“Do you believe him?” I asked suspiciously. “I mean, did he seem like he meant it?”
“If he didn’t before, he does now,” she said softly. “I told him everything.”
“Everything?” I asked.
“About my cancer,” she said, nodding. “It was time. You were right, he needed to know.”
“How did he take it?” I asked. I reached out to hold her hand. She gripped my fingers tightly, tears forming in her eyes.
“He was a mess,” she said. “But also strong. I could tell he was scared, but he tried not to show it. He just held me and told me how much he loves me. He said he’ll be there for all of it, for the treatment and everything.”
I smiled and she sunk into me. At that moment, I loved Darren. I didn’t know if I would ever feel that way again but right then, he was my fucking hero. He finally came through for his daughter in a big way. She needed him more than anyone right now. More than my mom. More than me. She couldn’t go through this without him.
“I’m so fucking glad he knows now,” I said, laughing lightly. “God, I was worried you would have to go through this without him.”
“I didn’t even realize how much I needed him until he was there,” Tara said. She wiped her eyes and sat up. “I thought I could handle it, you know? I convinced myself I was strong enough to do everything on my own, but I’m not.”
“No one is,” I said firmly. “No one.”
“I can’t believe he’s finally okay with us,” Tara said. “I never thought that would happen.”
“Does this mean you’ll stop pushing me away?” I laughed.
“I think I stopped that a while ago,” she said. “I’m pretty much in this.”
“Pretty much?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.
“Caleb, I waited ten years to be with you again,” she said seriously. “This is all I want.”
Her words filled my chest with warmth, but something was still nagging at the back of my mind. It wasn’t that long ago that we were fighting about my painkillers. I knew how much Tara cared about me, but did she trust me?
“I want to be with you,” I said. “That won’t ever change. But are you sure you’re ready for this? I mean, with the cancer and everything?”
She frowned and searched my face. I didn’t say anything else, and soon, understanding dawned on her. She smiled softly and stroked my cheek, making my eyes flutter closed.
“You’re worried I don’t trust you,” she said, as if reading my mind. “Because I freaked out about the painkillers.”
“Well, yeah.”
“I was wrong,” she said firmly. “I was scared that you were going back to your old ways. I’m sorry I doubted you. I really am.”
“I know you are,” I said. “But—”
“But nothing,” she said, putting her finger to my lips. “I trust you, Caleb. I know you’ve changed. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that you’re the man I’m supposed to be with.”
I smiled and kissed her, dancing my lips against hers. She felt so right pressed against me. I could have held her for hours, just kissing her and losing myself in the feel of her body.
She pulled away and sighed, laying her head on my chest and nuzzling closer to me. Now that her father was on board, nothing was stopping us from being together. She was mine, and I was hers. For as long as we wanted.
“Will you come with me?” I asked softly.
“Where?”
“The fire station,” I said. “I want you to meet the guys. Officially.”
***
We walked through the back door, and I immediately heard voices coming from the kitchen. I grinned at Tara and led her through the station. She’d never been here before, and now that I was back at work, I wanted her to see the place.
“Hey assholes,” I said as we stepped into the kitchen. “There’s someone I want you to meet.”
Tara held my hand and smiled around nervously. The guys all fell silent and stared, their eyes darting down to our intertwined hands.
“Wallet girl,” Greg said.
“That’s just my stage name. I usually go by Tara,” she said, her wit as sharp as ever.
“What the hell are you doing with this idiot?” Greg asked, jerking his head toward me.
“Watch it,” I warned.
“Watch what?” he asked. “You gonna kick my ass with that crippled leg of yours?”
“It’s all healed up now,” I said. “I’m ready to go whenever you are.”
“There’s a lady present,” Tyler said, standing up and walking over to us. “Behave yourselves.”
He stopped in front of us, and I felt Tara tense beside me. She recognized him from the party.
“Listen,” Tyler said. “I’m sorry I was such a douche. Alcohol, you know?”
“Just don’t let it happen again,” I said.
“Scout’s honor,” Tyler said, holding up his fingers. “But seriously, Tara, I’m sorry.”
“It’s all good,” she said, laughing. “I’m hot. It happens.”
Tyler laughed, and the guys joined in. They ushered Tara inside and sat her down. We all ate dinner together, laughing and swapping stories. Tara was more alive than I’d ever seen her. She listened to the guys tell stories about me and even shared a few of her own from when we were teenagers. Everyone loved her, just like I knew they would.
“Is anyone actually working?” Chief Johnson asked as he walked inside. “Oh, there’s a girl. A pretty one. Nope. No one’s doing shit.”
“Hey, Chief,” I said. “Did you meet Tara at the party?”
He nodded and extended his hand to her. She shook it politely. Chief turned to me and jerked his head toward the door.
“You okay?” I asked Tara. She nodded, so I followed Chief out to the main part of the station.
He spun around to face me with a stern expression on his face. Dread filled my stomach. Whatever he wanted to talk about, wasn’t going to be good.
“Listen,” he said. “I wanted to talk to you about that leg of yours.”
“Chief, I’m good to go,” I said quickly. “The doc cleared me.”
