B*E*A*S*T* of Burden

by Rebecca Goings

  "What does that mean?"

  Wade decided to jump in at that moment. “Uh, I hate to bring you two back to the issue at hand, but Rogan still has a few shot pellets in his leg that we need to remove."

  Marlie sighed as she rubbed her eyes. “I'm a vet; I only work on animals."

  Rogan stared hard at her. “Marlie,” he began, “if it will help you get this shot out of me, I'll shift for you, but you've got to promise me you won't freak out."

  He could smell her sudden unease at his words. “What are you talking about?"

  "You want to know what B*E*A*S*T* means? I'll do better than tell you. I'll show you."

  Rogan slowly began to shift right on the dining room table until nothing was left of his human form. His golden eyes stared into Marlie's, hoping to God she'd understand and not scream her head off. But once he was fully transformed into a wolf, Marlie squealed and jumped away from the table.

  "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!” she shouted.

  Three

  Marlie stumbled back into the living room, almost knocking over the lamp on the end table by the couch. Her mouth dropped open as more tears filled her eyes. Instead of Matthew lying on the table, a wounded wolf now regarded her with tame, golden eyes.

  "What the hell is that?” she screamed, pointing her finger, unable to move. “Where's Matthew?"

  Wade swallowed hard and took a step toward her. She moved away from him only to once again come up hard against the end table.

  "He's right here,” Wade said, running his fingers through his hair and glancing back at the wolf. “The B*E*A*S*T* agency stole all of us from our lives and brainwashed us. Nobody knows who we used to be in our lives before. The B*E*A*S*T* scientists mutated us. They played God with our genetic code and made us what we are. We're shifters. We can become certain animals. Rogan ... I mean Matthew, is a timber wolf."

  Marlie's eyes widened as her heart threatened to beat right out of her chest. “You can do this too?” she asked in a small voice, suddenly glancing around for the shotgun Kevin had propped against the wall near the door.

  "Yes, I can,” Wade said, holding up his hands. “But we won't hurt you. Besides, I'm not a wolf. I'm a cougar."

  "Is that supposed to make me feel better?" she shrieked, clutching the sides of her head as if to hold herself together.

  "Look, Marlie,” Wade said, “I can smell your fear, and I want you to know you have nothing to be afraid of. We won't hurt you. Rogan had fleeting memories of a woman, and when we looked up his classified file on the B*E*A*S*T* computers, we found out about you. He wanted to come and find you. What this agency has done to all of us is unforgivable."

  Marlie couldn't stop the tears from falling. “Dear God,” she whispered, crumpling to the floor. “They took Matthew from me and made him a monster?"

  Wade nodded, kneeling next to her. “They made all of us monsters. Made us endure gruesome torture and stole whatever memories we had. But some of us could remember flashes—bits and pieces of who we used to be. Some of us have escaped. Rogan and I included."

  Marlie took a deep breath and closed her eyes, then she took another deep breath and tried her hardest to calm herself down.

  "We need to get him to a ... a doctor. He's injured,” she said once she opened her eyes again.

  "You're a doctor."

  "I'm a vet."

  "Right now, he's a wolf. Marlie, please. I know you don't know me, but you do know him. We cannot afford to have the authorities here. We've escaped from the B*E*A*S*T* compound, but they're still looking for us. We can't risk bringing attention to ourselves. B*E*A*S*T* is bigger than anyone first expected. They're sure to have their hand in every pie. If we call the police, they'll know and be here within the hour to ‘clean everything up'."

  "What does that mean?” Marlie shuddered by the look in Wade's eyes.

  "They'd kill us all."

  Marlie gasped as her stomach lurched inside of her.

  "Rogan and I are pretty high up on B*E*A*S*T*'s most-wanted list,” Wade went on. “Before we escaped, we freed all the other shifters. They're going to be searching for us with a fine-tooth comb. Please, Marlie, if you can do something for Rogan...” Wade let the sentence hang.

  After a few moments of silence, Marlie looked out the window and gasped. “The wolf outside, the one Kevin saw. That was ... Matthew?"

  Wade hung his head. “Yes. I ... may have suggested to him to go up to the house and see what you were up to. Rogan wanted to know if you were remarried or if you'd moved on. He didn't want to interfere with your life if you'd found someone new. So instead of slinking around your house in human form, he thought it would be better to appear as a wolf, so you wouldn't freak out."

  "Well, I'm freaking out right now!"

  A yip came from the table, and Marlie looked over Wade's shoulder to see the wolf staring right at her. He yipped one more time and wagged his tail. She shivered. Was it true what Wade said? Was her husband truly a shifter? How was it even possible? And who had she really buried two years ago?

  She didn't think long on it. Her stomach roiled once more, and she knew any further thought about the man in Matthew's grave would make her retch right there and then. She'd been told Matthew had died in a terrible car accident. The car had caught on fire, and they'd had to identify his body through his dental records. Another shiver raced down her spine. Obviously, that had been a lie.

  "I ... I don't have anything to sedate him with."

  "That's all right,” Wade said. “I'll hold him down."

  The wolf growled at him and bared its teeth.

  "He can understand you?” she asked in awe.

  "Yes, we can understand language in our shifted state. We can also think as humans. But our DNA says we're one hundred percent the creature we've become—a ‘perk’ B*E*A*S*T* wove into their shifters."

  "Why would they make such creatures?” Marlie asked, moving closer to the table. With a shaking hand, she reached out and touched the wolf's tail.

  "It's probably better if you don't ask that question,” Wade said.

  Marlie shuddered. “You're right. I don't want to know.” Clearing her throat, she grabbed the first aid kit. Fortunately, there was a scalpel, needle-nose tweezers and a needle and thread. “I'll try to be as gentle as I can,” she whispered to the wolf, stroking its coat. “I don't have all the tools I usually use for this kind of thing."

  The wolf whined and laid down its head. Good to his word, Wade stretched out his body over the wolf's.

  "Don't worry, old buddy,” he said. “I'm sure Marlie knows what she's doing."

  The wolf growled but didn't move. With a shaking hand, Marlie operated, pulling out five shot pellets from its flank. More than once, the animal jumped and howled.

  "I'm so sorry, Matthew,” she said through gritted teeth. “Usually when I do this, my patient is knocked out."

  It took longer than she anticipated due to his thrashing, but once she'd finished, she tossed the shot pellets into the trash. “He'll have to ... um, shift in order for me to stitch him up."

  The wolf began to change shape, once again morphing its body into that of her husband. Watching him transform raised the hair on the back of her neck. His soft grey fur disappeared, replaced by smooth skin. His legs grew longer and thicker, as did his arms, and his snout shrank into a human nose and mouth.

  "Sweet Jesus,” he said, still growling. “That hurt like a son of a bitch!"

  Opening her fridge, Marlie pulled out a few ice cube trays. “We'll numb your skin before I suture you. That should help with some of the pain."

  "Got any whiskey?"

  "No."

  "Tequila?"

  "No."

  "Vodka?"

  "I'm not a big drinker, you know that!"

  "Actually, I don't,” he said.

  Marlie lowered her gaze and felt her heart lurch inside of her. He was right; he didn't remember. The man she had once adored more than life itself didn't know a damn thing about her. With
a forlorn sigh, Marlie opened her cabinet.

  "I ... I like Midori Sours. I'm afraid Midori is all I have."

  "I'll take it.” Rogan reached out his hand, his fingers beckoning her.

  Biting her lip, Marlie crossed the kitchen and handed it to him, watching as he opened the bottle and downed the contents. He cried out once the ice touched his skin, but she didn't let up.

  "Do you want this to hurt more?"

  "Hell no!"

  "Then quit your bitching!"

  Rogan was silent for a moment before he raised his eyebrows and chuckled, glancing at his friend. “I knew I would have married a firecracker."

  Wade hid his smile behind his hand while he helped Marlie with the ice. She blushed hotly, refusing to meet her husband's piercing gaze.

  Four

  Snow began to fall in the darkness beyond the window. Marlie had started a fire in the massive stone fireplace that took up almost one entire wall of the living room. Soon, the fire warmed the house. Now she stood gazing out the window, watching the snowflakes and feeling a cold numbness inside her heart.

  She'd purchased this very house with Matthew four years ago, their wedding present to each other. She could even remember how giddy he'd been as he'd spun her in his arms once escrow had closed. Their very first night in the house, they'd built a roaring fire—not unlike the one she'd just lit—and they'd made love long into the night. Marlie could already feel more tears behind her eyes.

  After Matthew's impromptu surgery on her dining room table, he'd asked her if she had any clothing for him to wear. Fortunately for him, she did. She hadn't been able to bear throwing away her husband's old things, so instead of giving them away to Goodwill, she'd tucked them into the closet of the guest room. Her family and friends had no idea, and they'd be shocked to learn she sometimes wandered in there late at night to smell his old shirts, even though his scent had long since vanished.

  Marlie had loved her husband dearly. He was the love of her life. Hearing of his death had almost destroyed her. She'd sequestered herself in their house during the following months and only emerged to attend his funeral and go to work. She'd also visited his grave on many occasions. Marlie had even once considered selling the house, but she'd decided it was better to live with the old memories rather than pretend they had never happened.

  Matthew's loud yelp from the couch cut into her pensive thoughts. She turned from the sill only to see Wade trying to dress him in his old clothes.

  "I think it's best if he doesn't wear the jeans,” she said, smiling when both men scowled at her. “You don't want to aggravate the wounds any more than you have to."

  Matthew pushed Wade away and buttoned the shirt himself, looking quite handsome in the blue plaid. That had been Marlie's favorite shirt of his so long ago, and seeing him in it now took her breath away. Black boxers completed his ensemble.

  He glanced up at her from where he sat, and her heart slammed to life. Matthew was alive! She could hardly believe it. But he didn't remember her. How cruel for the fates to decide to return the man of her dreams, only to have his memories vanish like the withering grass.

  "Your hair is longer,” she said, just to have something to say.

  "Is it?” Matthew lifted his hand to his head.

  "Yeah."

  Wade plopped down onto the recliner next to the fire and stretched out. “Got any pictures?"

  "I do.” She had boxes of pictures of him. But she'd be damned if she would tell him she went through them once a week.

  "Show me."

  The phone rang as Marlie started to leave, and she squealed and jumped at the same time.

  "Don't answer it!” Wade called out.

  Looking at her caller ID, Marlie groaned. “It's Kevin. If I don't pick up, he'll come back out here."

  "Answer it,” Rogan said.

  Grabbing the receiver, she pressed the talk button. “Hello?"

  "Are you all right?"

  "I'm fine, Kevin."

  "I'm worried about you with those strange men. Are you sure you don't want me there?"

  "I'm sure. They're good men. They haven't hurt me at all. In fact, I just pulled the shot pellets out of Matthew."

  "I don't like this one bit. It's too weird that your dead husband just suddenly pops up out of nowhere."

  Marlie sighed and bit her lip. “I know, but I have to get to the bottom of this."

  "I'm still coming over in the morning, Marlie. Expect me around nine."

  "All right,” she conceded, knowing he'd only race back over tonight if she argued.

  "If you need anything—anything at all—call me. Doesn't matter what time it is."

  "All right!” she said with another sigh. “Look, Kevin. I'm going to let you go. Have a good night.” Without waiting to hear him say goodbye, she hung up the phone.

  "Are these his clothes?” Matthew's voice was low, but she could hear the contempt from where she stood.

  Whirling around to face him, she shook her head. “No,” she said.

  "Then who do they belong to?"

  Marlie swallowed hard as she wrung her hands in front of her. “You.” He looked shocked, so she pressed on. “I never threw anything away after you died. I kept it all. My friends and family tried to get me to date again, which is why Kevin's hanging around. I went on a blind date with him three months ago—one of my co-workers set it up. We never hit it off romantically, but he likes to check up on me once in awhile. Says a woman shouldn't be all by herself in the wilds of Alaska, seeing as how this house is on a dirt road so far off the beaten path. I know he wants more, but...” She shrugged. “I'm just not ready."

  Rogan stared at her for a few silent moments, making her shift her weight from foot to foot.

  "I'm sorry I'm rambling,” she said. “Let me go get those pictures."

  With that, Marlie scurried out of the room, relieved to get away from her husband's intense eyes.

  * * * *

  "She's still in love with you.” Wade whispered his words with a half grin on his face. His arms were folded behind his head as he lifted a leg over the arm of the easy chair.

  Rogan sighed, staring down the hallway where she'd disappeared. He could smell her scent: it was one of uncertainty, but it was also laced with desire. She'd been shocked to see him dressed in this shirt, and his body had tightened at the look in her eyes.

  Marlie was a beautiful woman with her shoulder-length chocolate brown hair. Her dark eyes were almost the same color brown—deep pools that made him wonder how often he'd lost himself gazing into them. Her smile was soft and lit up her face. He wanted to see that smile more often.

  Rogan couldn't even imagine what kind of shock this must be for her, learning that he was alive, that his death had been faked. Not only had B*E*A*S*T* stolen the last two years of his life, they'd stolen hers as well. His anger burned hot inside him at the thought. How dare those bastards do that to this stunning woman!

  "It's been two years, Wade."

  "Doesn't matter,” Wade said as he closed his eyes. “She's got it bad. She's still got your clothes if that gives you a clue. And you might not have seen it, but the way she looks at you ... I'd lay money down that she's still in love with you. Not to mention her scent—"

  "Talk about her scent again, and I'll rip out your throat, Cougar."

  Wade chuckled but didn't open his eyes. “It seems as if the attraction is a two-way street."

  "Of course I'm attracted to her,” Rogan said, exasperated. “She's the one thing I can remember from my life before. But I'm not going to go jumping into anything foolish, even if the woman is my wife."

  "Why the hell not?” Wade asked, finally cracking open his eyes. “You've got a license; she's yours."

  "The man she fell in love with is dead.” Rogan grunted while trying to get comfortable.

  "But you aren't. You have a second chance here, buddy. Don't let it slip through your fingers."

  Marlie emerged from one of the bedrooms down the hall wi
th a large photo album. Laying it on the coffee table, she said, “Here you go."

  Rogan glanced up at her and smelled her unease. Patting the cushion next to him, he said, “Sit here and show me. I want to hear whatever stories you have to tell."

  Marlie licked her lips but sat diligently, her back as stiff as a board.

  "I won't bite,” he said, teasing her.

  "I ... I know,” she whispered as she grabbed the book. “But I'm just ... overwhelmed right now."

  With a nod, Rogan sat back against the cushions and watched as she opened the cover of the album.

  "This is our wedding album,” she said. “We were married four years ago in April."

  On the first page was a picture of her, so very beautiful in a white, flowing gown. She was standing in many different poses, smiling at the photographer through a soft camera filter. She looked so happy; almost radiant.

  "Wow,” Rogan said, honestly taken aback by how beautiful she was. Her hair was swept off her neck into a cascading array of ringlets while all sorts of small flowers were woven into it. Her bouquet was made of deep red roses with white roses as accents, and her train trailed out behind her majestically.

  "You're gorgeous,” he whispered as he caressed one of the photos. “And so happy."

  "I was about to marry the man of my dreams,” she said, then looked as if she regretted it. Her cheeks flamed red as she turned the page. “Here you are."

  Shock flooded through him. It was him only younger—in a military dress uniform.

  "You were in the Marines.” Marlie's soft voice made the hair on his arms stand on end.

  "I know."

  She gave him a look, probably wondering how he knew that.

  "I found out when I looked at my file on the B*E*A*S*T* computers."

  With a nod, Marlie stroked the photo, and his heart slammed to life inside of him. She still cared, after all this time.

  "You were a captain, and so very proud to be serving your country."

  "I look pretty happy too."

  "You were. Told one and all that you couldn't wait to marry me. I'd said yes and you weren't about to let me get away."