by J. L. Myers
I stepped around the counter and shot down the hall, breaking the locked handle to get into the storeroom. The room was stacked with syringes, needles, gauze, tape, ointments, and medicines. Lucky for me, it was also free of people. My relief dwindled. There was no fridge, and no blood.
I heard a slight noise outside, perhaps someone in a consult room down the hall. The faint beat of a human pulse and the scent of their blood reached me.
I hurried my movements, finding a plastic bag and shoving gauze, tape, and ointment into it. As I was about to fly out the storage room, a man’s voice stopped me short. The smell of his blood almost floored me.
“Hey, what are you doing in here?” He was in his thirties, and wearing a white coat. The on-board doctor’s heart raced with surprise at finding someone lurking in what had been a locked storeroom. He caught sight of the gnarled door handle. “Did you break in?”
The man began to move back. I shot forward, yanking him into the storeroom and slammed the door shut. I pinned him against the wall, eyes trying to hold his. “Don’t scream.” I almost expected Kendrick to appear in my head, demanding I stop. But there was nothing. I couldn’t even feel him. Was he asleep? “I’m not going to hurt you.”
“Let me go,” the doctor demanded, fighting against my strength. The vein along his neck bulged from strain. “How are you this strong?” His eyes widened. “Are you high?”
Dammit! The compulsion wasn’t working. I was too blood deprived.
My hand clamped over his mouth before he could scream out. Without thought I zoned in on the thick vein along his neck, pulsing and plump. That wicked voice in my head came alive. Vampires need blood. You need blood.
I thought of Ty, injured and in pain. More of my blood would help him heal. Wouldn’t it? But I couldn’t give him my vein if doing so swelled my thirst and made me attack him. No, I needed blood, now. Right now.
“This will only hurt for a second,” I whispered, staring as my fangs ached, closing in on his neck.
The man fought with sudden renewed strength, that adrenaline spike people experience when they think death is imminent. But it was no use. He was still human.
A split second later it was too late. My fangs found their mark, puncturing flesh as my lips pressed to create a seal. The doctor’s fighting stopped as my bite delivered a flood of dopamine to his system. His body became limp, his blood feeding my thirst and taking the edge off.
After a few more long pulls I drew back, satisfied and surprised. I’d just drank from a human for the third time since I’d become a functioning vampire. Being a lycan, Ty didn’t count. The first time had ended in disaster and the almost death of Joel, a rock-star footballer from my high school. But this time, I hadn’t even come close to taking life. I had been in complete control. It had been more like my chaperoned drink at Bite with Marcus.
Lifting the doctor’s chin with my finger, I took control of his eyes, feeling strong and capable. “You never saw me. No one attacked you.”
Like with the damned’s victim, I pricked my finger on my fang before letting them slide back. Then I pressed the swelling scarlet drop to the two punctures along his neck. The holes closed up before my eyes, removing any and all trace of my feeding.
~
With my bagged supplies and my body humming, I skipped back to the cabin. My veins rushed with the doctor’s blood, making my skin feel alive and my senses alert and sharp. The reaction was nowhere near what Ty’s blood did to me, but it was still illuminating. The fact that I took from a living person without even coming close to killing them, and had compelled the whole attack away, was more than exciting. It was progress. Now I was becoming who I was meant to be. A living vampire who was in control. Not a monster or a killer.
“I’m back,” I sang as I skipped through the door.
Ty would know I hadn’t been gone long enough to venture off the boat, but I didn’t care. I had what he needed, supplies and new linen. More importantly I had veins filled with reviving blood that could continue his healing.
Ty was outside sprawled on a deck chair. He glanced over his shoulder through the sliding door and winced. “Hey, beautiful. You’re back fast.” He frowned, noticing the plastic bag. “What’s all that?”
“I went shopping on board.” I smiled and dropped the supplies and linen onto the round tale before walking over. With a glance down I noticed his dressings were soiled and oozing. I knelt beside him, touching a light hand over one. “Why are you out of bed?”
Ty waved off my hand. “I’m not an invalid.” A mischievous smile lit his stunning face. “Though I could use a shower.”
The image of Ty naked brought fire to my cheeks. I smiled, trying to hide my inexperience. “Okay, great. Uh, yeah…let’s do this.”
Unable to look him in the eye, I squatted, focusing on removing the soiled bandages from his wounds and willing the fire in my cheeks to subside. Then I hauled him to his feet and supported his weight back inside and to the bathroom. I slid the curtain back and flicked the shower tap on. Ty leaned into the wall, hand braced against the sink and breathing labored from the small distance. He was practically naked already, only wearing the pair of board shorts he’d managed to get on last night.
Ty began to tug the blood-spattered covering down, and I stilled his hands. If he bent over the wounds across his back would burst like a dam. “Let me help.”
I built up the blocks in my mind. Kendrick wasn’t here, but I didn’t want him accidentally popping into my subconscious. With caution I lowered my hands, pulling down Ty’s boardies while keeping my eyes cast sideways.
I shot back up to find Ty smiling at me. “You’re blushing.”
“Am not.” I turned away, pretending to check the water temperature. Then my focus set on Ty’s face, and I helped him into the shower.
I was about to step in behind Ty when he said, “You know you’re dressed, right?”
“Oh, right.”
I glanced down at the shorts and tank I’d put on earlier. The same clothes I’d worn while drinking the doctor’s blood. A single drop stained the neckline. My heart galloped and I whipped it off. I hadn’t mentioned my feeding, and I definitely didn’t want to get into it now. Not when I could barely think past Ty being naked before me.
Willing my pulse to slow, I slipped out of my shorts. Then I went to unclip my bra.
Ty raised an unsteady hand, brushing my arm. “You can chuck on your bikini, if you want.”
I appreciated the suggestion but shook my head. Ty was standing, well leaning, against the bathroom wall before me stark naked, wearing only a smile. Our relationship had been through so much, but it was clear that Ty was completely comfortable with me, in every way. With the walls up in my mind there was nothing holding me back from this. Besides, it wasn’t like anything was physically going to happen. Getting hot and heavy would just tear him open more.
In answer I unclipped my bra, letting the straps fall from my shoulders then down to the floor. Ty’s eyes remained focused on mine, unmoving and soft. I pushed my underwear from my hips, letting them fall to the floor.
Ty smiled and held his arm out for me to stand under. With my help he pushed off the wall, groaning as we stepped into the shower. Ty’s back was to the spout, and the second the water hit his flesh he let out a grueling growl. Agony twisted his face and he twitched uncontrollably as the water—now tinged with his blood—stung every inch of his cut flesh. I stepped closer to him, letting his body lean into mine.
After a few minutes the twitching stopped and Ty took a shuddering breath. His head hanging over my shoulder moved, planting a heated kiss against my neck. The touch of his lips sent a shockwave of tingles through my body. Lightness swept through my head, while parts of me grew hot.
I shook off the wonderful sensation, reminding myself of what we were doing here. Then I pushed Ty back against the tiled wall. Grasping the soap from the dish behind him, I began washing over the deep gashes, starting with his shoulders and chest. Ty wi
nced, keeping his eyes fixed on my face. The action on his behalf made me feel much more confident in what I was doing, especially since we were both standing before each other totally naked.
When I’d finished cleaning the deep cuts on his shoulders and chest, I helped turn him around so I could tend to the wounds on his back. These ones were bad, the worst of his injuries being the deepest and longest cuts. With a shudder, I recalled the damned landing on Ty’s back with claws that tore into his skin as he attempted to throw him off. I dabbed each laceration, trying to be as gentle as possible. Still, every muscle in Ty’s back tensed with each soapy touch. Once that was done, Ty shifted back around with my help.
I turned my back to him and drew my hair over one shoulder, exposing my neck.
A frozen moment of silence passed. “What are you doing?” Ty asked, voice suddenly rough.
“You need to drink more,” I said. I wondered now that my back was turned, if he was staring at my butt. And now I was blushing, again.
“Amelia, we don’t have to,” Ty said. “I’m healing, slowly.”
“Too slowly.” I lifted a nail and made a little slice into my neck. Blood trickled down my back. After almost getting Ty killed this was the least I could do. “I want to do this. Let me help you.”
Long seconds passed, then a calloused hand found my waist, guiding me back until my shoulder blades met the solid lines of Ty’s chest. Leaning forward must have taken him great effort. His lower body was close enough for me to feel its warmth, but it wasn’t quite touching. His other hand brushed over my exposed shoulder, and then his mouth found my neck, kissing with soft lips before parting. My eyelids fluttered shut at the gentle draw of his mouth taking my blood. My own lips parted, dying to whisper I love you.
But Ty spoke first, lips breaking away from my flesh. “Your blood…it tastes different.”
Surprise bolted through me a second before realization hit. He could taste the doctor I’d drank? And we were naked in the shower. Not where I’d expected telling him about my achievement. “Oh…yeah.”
I got out of the shower and groped for a towel from the rail, throwing it around my body. Then I handed one to Ty. For some reason it felt odd. I’d never talked to Ty about drinking from humans before. He already knew about my first attempt, which had been a monster-like disaster, the one where he’d stopped me from killing. But I’d never told him about the donor at the Armaya. It hadn’t come up in conversation. Generally my needs were filled by packaged human blood, and on the rare occasion, wild game at Mt Major.
“Well, you still needed to heal, and I was, well…” My heart raced. Sweat budded across my face and body. Why was telling him this hard? “Well, you know. But I—”
“You drank someone?” Ty’s voice was incredulous, the look on his face just as crushing. He snatched the towel around his waist, grimacing at the movement. Though I noted not even one his wounds split as a reaction. Then he limped past me, standing at the sliding door with his back to me. His wounds were knitting together, but his sharp voice stole my attention. “Was it good? Was it worth it?”
“Worth it?” I didn’t understand the fuming hostility pouring off him, the anger. “Ty, I needed blood,” I began, feeling a rush of word vomit coming on. “And you were still so hurt. You needed more from me to heal. But if I’d given you mine, I think I would have lost it. And I didn’t plan it. But everything was fine. I didn’t hurt the guy. I even compelled him to forget.”
“Can you compel me to forget, too?” The muscles along his shoulders and neck ticked.
“Compel you?” I was seriously lost. “Why would I need—”
“So the image of you,” he almost snarled, turning and irises blazing, “fangs deep in some guy’s neck can be struck from my memory.”
Then it hit me, the reason Ty was so pissed off. “You think I cheated on you?” I tugged the towel tighter around my body. I felt way too exposed and a little sick. “Ty, it wasn’t like that. It was only blood.”
“Is it only blood when you bite into my throat? When your hands are in my hair? When your legs are curled around me? When your body grates against mine? Is that just blood?”
“You know it’s not,” I snapped back. Irritation bubbled up inside me, threatening to overflow. My hands curled into fists. “It’s different with you. You know it is. You’re more to me than a meal. But I’m a vampire, Ty. And you said you accepted me. You said you accepted me for everything I am. Well, this is what I am. I need blood to live.”
The challenge in Ty’s ferocious eyes was clear. “And if the roles were reversed?”
“I—I…” Any words of rebuttal died on my tongue. Because Ty had a point. If it were his lips on some girl’s flesh, food or not, would I be okay with it? The answer? Hell no! I would be livid.
With a clenched jaw at my deflated expression, Ty stomped to the wardrobe built into the wall, pulling out shorts and a T-shirt that he tugged on in a rush. The small amount of blood he’d taken had helped, but that didn’t matter now. He shoved the door open and stepped out into the corridor. “I need some air.”
~
I shifted my weight from one leg to the other. Then I read the note in my hands again. It had begun to tear from the number of times I’d folded and unfolded it.
‘Have dinner with me. I’ll be waiting outside the formal dining lounge. Reservation’s at 6:30.’
I scanned the crowd again. There were people lining up for couple and group portraits. Everyone else was being ushered forward through the twin doors to the lounge. My heart sank like a stone. It was past 6:30PM and Ty wasn’t here. He’d changed his mind.
I faced the wall, blinking back tears as I tugged at the end of my braided hair. Earlier I’d left our cabin to search for Ty, needing to apologize and talk this out. But he was as absent then as he was now. A ghost on an inescapable ship. Unless he’d jumped overboard and swum for it… When I returned to our room, I found the note and his dress clothes missing. Relief had eased my guilt, though not anymore.
I tugged at my dress’s hem. It was the one Mom had given me for Christmas, purple and not crazy short. When I put it on earlier I had actually felt pretty. And confident. Now I felt stupid…and alone.
Tears rolled down my cheeks as I sniffed. Then I sniffed again and spun, trying to pinpoint the direction of the scent. There. Panic and desolation fled my body, replaced by nerves that churned my stomach and made my heart race. Ty was descending the wide, carpeted stairs in a single breasted black suit and a black patterned shirt. The top two buttons were undone. My jaw gaped and I drew in a lungful, my body forcing me to breathe after holding my breath.
A smiled played across Ty’s lips while he drank me in. Still, I couldn’t help notice his stiff hesitation as he stopped before me. Rather than drawing me into his arms, he stepped back, looking uncomfortable. “You look…amazing.”
That foot of space separating our bodies was like an impassable ocean. Guilt crippled me, like acid being injected into my bones. “Ty, I’m sorry,” I blurted, fiddling with my hands. “I didn’t even think of it like that. And I didn’t mean to hurt you. It meant nothing.”
Ty sighed, and then paused. An expression I couldn’t read crossed his face. Then his hand came forward and he shrugged. “How about we talk about it all over dinner?”
I nodded and took his hand, unable to speak as we joined the shuffling queue. I hated not knowing where we stood. I hated wondering if Ty was calming the storm before the real shit started. The livid anger was gone from his expression. Still it was clear he wasn’t okay. We weren’t okay.
After an agonizing few minutes we cleared the line to the dining hall. Inside, a tower of sparkling crystal glasses had been set up for the champagne waterfall. The lights were also dimmed, creating a romantic atmosphere. We settled into our pre-booked table and ordered. Don’t ask me what I chose though. I was so nervous that I couldn’t even remember what I’d asked the waiter for.
The crippling silence went on until our appeti
zers came, and we ate without speaking. My thoughts raced with all the things I wanted to say, but I couldn’t quite rearrange anything into words.
“I overreacted before,” Ty said suddenly. “Just the thought of you with some other guy…” He trailed off, jaw clenching and teeth grating.
Instant defensiveness tightened my tone. “It wasn’t like that.”
“I know.” Ty shook his head as if clearing the mental image from his mind. “I believe you. And for the record, I do accept you, everything about you. But I know that’s not something you do.” He lowered his voice. “Taking from humans. Well not since Pulse, as far as I know.”
Pulse was a popular vampire club in Anchorage, the one I’d gone searching for Kendrick in before knowing about its clientele. Before knowing why it was a frequent hangout for my best friend. A supermarket of fresh blood from unsuspecting humans. I nodded, about to confirm when I remembered the club Bite at the Armaya. Back then Marcus had introduced me to the custom of drinking from living and willing donors. That had been my second taste from a human. “There was one other.” Ty’s expression became cloudy, a thunderstorm ready to explode. “It was at the Armaya. I drank from a girl, a human.”
The clouds were gone from his expression, replaced by contemplating surprise. “I didn’t know you swung that way.”
“What?” Had he just suggested that I was bi? “No. It wasn’t like that. It was—”
“Like today?” Ty questioned.
I sighed and lowered my voice to a whisper “Yes. I won’t deny that I wanted his blood. But it wasn’t because I was into him. I was thirsty, and I wanted to give you mine again so you’d heal better.”
Ty fell silent, looking guarded as the waiter brought out our main course.
