SURPRISE! You are throwing yourself a really big party because you deserve it.
What kind of party will it be?
Where will it be located?
What foods will be served?
MY PARTY GUEST LIST
FRIENDS
(Make a list of ten friends you’d invite to your party.)
SPECIAL GUESTS
(Make a list of ten people you’d invite to your party who are alive or dead: people from history; characters from your favorite books, movies, or TV shows; celebrities; pro athletes; etc.)
CAFETERIA, 12:25 P.M.
I slumped over my lunch like a zombie. The rotting casserole smell didn’t even bother me.
“It’s like my diary disappeared into thin air,” I muttered. “I have no clue how I lost it. How can I be so dense?”
Zoey squeezed my shoulder sympathetically. “Don’t beat yourself up, Nikki. Besides, three heads are better than one. Let’s all try to remember if you had it during lunch yesterday. We’ll start with the moment we sat down to eat.”
“Hmmm.” Chloe scratched her head, crossed her eyes, and clicked her tongue. She only did this when she was really deep in thought. I could almost hear the squeaky cogs in her brain turning. “Yesterday at lunch?”
“Well, Zoey opened her apple juice and took a sip. Then I said, ‘Nikki, are you going to eat that fry?’ And Nikki said, ‘I was until you picked it up, sniffed it, and asked me if I was going to eat it.’ Then I said, ‘Thanks for the fry!’ Then I asked Zoey if I could have a bite of her mom’s famous blueberry muffins, ’cause those things are crazy delicious. And Zoey said—”
“Um, Chloe, how about we just skip all the tiny details?” I said, trying my best to remain calm.
“Well, to be honest, I don’t exactly remember whether or not you had your diary with you at lunch yesterday,” Chloe admitted. “But I DO remember the time you accidentally threw it in the trash when you dumped your tray.”
Zoey’s eyes lit up. “Wow! Chloe has a good point. If it happened once, it could happen again. Nikki, maybe … you tossed it!”
“OMG! You guys think I threw my diary away?! What if I DID?!” I groaned.
ME, ACCIDENTALLY THROWING AWAY MY DIARY AT LUNCH??!!
That’s when I jumped up from the lunch table.
“Come on, guys, we only have thirteen minutes before lunch is over.”
“Where are we going?” Chloe asked.
“To the Dumpster!” I yelled over my shoulder.
“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Zoey made an ick face.
“The good news is that MacKenzie would NEVER think to look there!” I felt hopeful again.
Chloe and I sprinted across the cafeteria toward a back door that led outside as Zoey lagged behind.
“Personally, I don’t think MacKenzie wants to read your diary THAT badly,” Zoey grumped.
As we approached the Dumpster, the stench of three-day-old fish sticks and spoiled milk almost knocked me over.
But I was desperate.
So I just gritted my teeth, held my breath, and cautiously peered inside.
“I’m in my happy place! I’m in my happy place! I’m in my happy place!” Zoey chanted as she climbed in.
She was doing one of her goofy meditation exercises, but it was so not working.
“You know this garbage is crawling with disease-laden bacteria, right?” nagged Zoey. “When I get home, I’m going to take off these clothes and burn them!”
Chloe was already inside, busily digging through the rubbish.
But do you wanna know the really FREAKY part?
She actually seemed to be enjoying it!
ME, CHLOE, AND ZOEY SEARCHING FOR MY DIARY IN THE DUMPSTER
“If my diary is in here, it will probably be toward the top,” I said, swatting at an overly friendly fly.
Unfortunately, all I could find amid the rotten food were broken hockey sticks and flat basketballs from gym class, and test papers with big fat red Fs on them. None of them were mine, I swear!
“Hey! Check it out!” Chloe shouted happily.
“OMG! You found my diary?!” I asked excitedly.
“Not yet, but isn’t this floppy hat really cute?” She put on the hat and struck a pose. “Now I look like a celebrity!”
“It’s nice, but we gotta keep looking,” I huffed.
A minute later I heard a high-pitched “SQUEEEE!!” It was Chloe. Again!
“What?! What?!” I asked eagerly.
“OMG! It’s the newest issue of Vampire Hunks Monthly!”
She held the magazine to her chest and hugged it.
“How could anyone toss this? Finders keepers!”
“Come on, Chloe!” Zoey said, rolling her eyes. “Be serious!”
“I’m searching, already. Sheesh!” Chloe pushed a garbage bag aside and bent down to pick up something.
“OH. MY. GAWD!” she screeched.
I sighed. “Please tell me it’s my diary this time.”
“It’s a Hug-Me-Harry bear!” She gave the dirty teddy bear a squeeze. “I’m keeping him.”
“Just great!” I mumbled, looking at my watch, which was covered in a thick layer of mustard. “Lunch is almost over, and we’ve barely scratched the surface here. I don’t know if I’ll EVER find my diary.”
I crawled out of the Dumpster.
Defeated. And really, really smelly.
“Hey! I know just what will cheer you up,” Chloe cooed in a very annoying, high-pitched baby voice. “How about a big fat HUGGY-WUGGY!”
Then she shoved Dirty Harry right in my face.
I was like, OH. NO. SHE. DIDN’T!!
Chloe must have totally lost her mind.
And Zoey wasn’t helping matters by giggling like a hysterical chipmunk.
But since they are my BFFs, I decided NOT to get an attitude about the whole thing.
So … I just hugged the stupid bear.
I’m ashamed to actually admit it, but Hug-Me-Harry DID make me feel a little bit better. Once I got past the odor. !!
NOTE TO SELF
Sometimes the most insignificant things can spark the best memories. Save your ticket stub from that fabulous live concert or that blockbuster movie.
Keep the hilarious note your BFF passed to you during math class. Hang on to that cute doodle you did of your crush on the back of your lunch napkin. You can use your diary as a place to keep little things that you cherish.
HOW TO DORK YOUR DIARY TIP #10
TREASURE YOUR
TRASH.
Find two things that bring back great memories. Tape the first one in the space below.
Now make a note about what you taped on the last page and how you got it, so you won’t ever forget.
Now tape the second item here and write about it below.
BIOLOGY CLASS, 1:30 P.M.
Today is turning out to be the longest school day EVER.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE
let it end soon.
I don’t know how much more I can take.
By the time I got to biology class, it seemed like the ENTIRE school was gossiping about my lost diary !!
I seriously considered just faking a headache and going home early.
I tried my best to ignore all the stares and whispers in the classroom. But it was really hard to do with MacKenzie sitting across the room gossiping about me right to my face.
I was in such a grumpy mood, I barely said hi to my crush, Brandon. Even though he gave me a big smile and told me he had something important to give me after class.
Sorry, but the last thing I needed right then was another extra-credit project. In spite of the fact that it usually meant us spending an extra hour working together in the lab.
Even though our school has a very strict policy about no cell phones in class, I watched in utter amazement (and with slight envy) as MacKenzie sat there texting away like there was no tomorrow. All while our teacher, Ms. Kincaid, drew diagrams of molecules on the boa
rd and droned on and on about the day’s massively boring lesson on microbiology.
It was very sad but true: MacKenzie could get away with murder! And everyone at WCD, even the teachers, seemed to just look the other way.
Or so I thought.
“ADP is a molecule formed from ATP by the breaking off of a phosphate group. It results in a release of energy that is used for biological reactions and— Miss Hollister, you seem really busy with your cell phone while I’m up here in front of the class trying to teach. I hope I’m not disturbing you?”
I could NOT believe our teacher actually said that!
It got so quiet in the room, you could hear a pin drop. Everyone in the class, including the teacher, was staring at MacKenzie.
But girlfriend was so busy texting that she didn’t even notice.
Frustrated, Ms. Kincaid raised her voice. “Miss Hollister! Would you PLEASE put down your phone! Now!”
Apparently, MacKenzie didn’t hear a single word.
Highly irritated, Ms. Kincaid walked up and stood right next to her.
But MacKenzie was so absorbed that she kept right on texting.
That’s when …
OMG! It was SO funny!
MacKenzie almost jumped out of her seat.
And Ms. Kincaid actually confiscated her cell phone.
The entire class cracked up, and for a split second I felt a little sorry for MacKenzie.
But she totally had it coming!
“MacKenzie, you know the rules. We have zero tolerance for cell phone use in class. I’ll return it to you in ten days, AFTER I receive a five-page paper on why cell phones should not be allowed in class. Do you understand?”
MacKenzie looked like she was going to DIE of embarrassment. “I g-guess so!” she stammered.
“And since your message is SO important you’ve interrupted our class time, I think it’s only fitting that it be shared with ALL of us.”
MacKenzie looked absolutely LIVID.
Ms. Kincaid squinted at the phone and read the last message aloud.
“From Brady Grayson: No, that’s way too risky. I have an early football practice today, but I can give it back to you afterward. Meet me in the gym at three o’clock.”
The class snickered loudly.
With MacKenzie sufficiently mortified, the teacher resumed her lecture.
“Now, where was I? … ADP, I think. ADP is a molecule formed from ATP by the breaking off of a phosphate group.…”
After class was over, I had no intention of sticking around.
“Hey, wait! I want to give you something!” Brandon said, reaching for his bag.
“Actually, I’m supposed to be meeting Chloe and Zoey right now.…”
“It’ll only take a minute. I heard that you lost your journal. So until you find it, I wanted to give you this.…”
Brandon handed me a thin, square package wrapped in notebook paper.
I opened it and was supersurprised to see it was a spiral notebook.
“It’s nothing fancy. I just had a couple extra ones lying around in my locker. I figured you’d put it to good use.”
I just stared at him, speechless.
It was one of the sweetest gifts anyone has ever given me. Lately.
“Th-thanks, Brandon!” I sputtered, blushing like crazy. “It’s a really nice … color! And it has two hundred and fifty-six pages and cost three seventy-nine. I mean, wow!”
He smiled and blushed too. “I’m glad you like it.”
“Yeah, I do. A lot!”
“Um, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”
“Yep, same here!”
“Bye!”
“Bye! Thanks again!”
I placed the notebook in my backpack and walked out of class.
But in my head I was doing my Snoopy “happy dance.”
After which, I had an obligatory attack of RCS (roller-coaster syndrome). OMG! It felt like I had a thousand butterflies fluttering around in my stomach. WHEEEEEEEEEEEE! !!
NOTE TO SELF
Do you sometimes want to say stuff out loud and speak your mind, but you’re a little nervous or afraid?
Although you don’t want to be rude, it can be good to tell people exactly what you think and how you feel. Otherwise, you end up saying it inside your head so no one else hears it but you. And after a while that will get kind of old.
HOW TO DORK YOUR DIARY TIP #11
WRITE DOWN ALL
THE STUFF YOU
ONLY SAY INSIDE
YOUR HEAD.
WHAT I SAID ALOUD
WHAT I SAID INSIDE MY HEAD …
What are some of the things you’ve only said inside your head, but that you’ve thought about saying to:
1. Your BFFs?
2. Someone at school who isn’t always supernice to you?
3. Your parents?
4. Your siblings?
5. Your crush?
GEOMETRY CLASS, 2:00 P.M.
AAAHHH !!
That was me screaming.
I CANNOT believe I just made a TOTAL FOOL of myself!!
Chloe, Zoey, and I decided to check the lost and found again between classes.
Mainly because Jessica is now the sixth-hour office assistant, and we wanted to get to it before she did.
When we walked in, we saw two girls sitting on the floor behind the counter, frantically tossing items back into the lost and found box.
We were NOT the least bit surprised to see it was MACKENZIE and JESSICA.
They both seemed a little startled to see us standing there.
MacKenzie quickly grabbed her purse and zipped it up. “Jess, thanks for helping me find … my … um, lip gloss. I’ll see you in class.”
Jessica walked up to the counter and gave us her biggest phony smile. “Hi there. May I help you?”
There was no way I was going to discuss my personal business with HER. “Is Mrs. Pearson in?”
“Actually, no. She’ll be back from a meeting in about ten minutes. Is there something I can help you with?” she said, glancing at MacKenzie while trying her best not to snicker.
“I hope you haven’t lost anything really important,” MacKenzie snarled. “You know. Like a diary with a pocket on the cover. Don’t waste your time checking the lost and found, because it’s definitely NOT here! Right, Jessica?”
Chloe, Zoey, and I could NOT believe she actually said that to our faces.
There was now no doubt whatsoever in my mind that MacKenzie had found my diary. I was sure it was probably stuffed in her purse.
“MacKenzie, I want my diary back,” I said, looking right into her beady little eyes.
“Yeah! Hand it over!” Chloe huffed.
“Right NOW!” Zoey growled.
MacKenzie just flipped her hair and glared at us.
But I had a feeling in my gut that she was lying.
“It doesn’t belong to you, so give it back,” I demanded.
“Well, maybe I have it. Or maybe I don’t! You’ll never—”
MacKenzie stopped midsentence, distracted by something behind us. Her frown quickly melted into a dazzling—but very fake—smile.
I turned around just as Principal Winston came striding into the office. “Good afternoon, girls!” he said.
“Oh, my! Look at the time. Gotta run! See you in geometry, Nikki.” MacKenzie grabbed her purse and nervously bolted for the door.
I traded glances with Chloe and Zoey. They quickly stepped in front of her, blocking her path so she couldn’t leave.
MacKenzie shot them both a dirty look, but it was too late.
I took a deep breath. “Hi, Principal Winston. I was wondering if you could help us with a small problem?”
He stopped and adjusted his glasses. “Sure! Now, what seems to be the trouble?”
MacKenzie fluttered her eyelashes innocently and tried to take control of the situation. “Actually, Principal Winston, the problem is that Nikki here seems to think I have a book that belongs to her.
”
“I don’t think it. I KNOW it!” I snapped.
MacKenzie sniffed and pretended to be on the verge of tears. “I was just telling her that I don’t have her stupid diary. But she doesn’t believe me. I have no idea why she would say such a mean thing about me after I’ve been so nice to her and gave her all that free fashion advice. And just look at her, Principal Winston. She really needs it. Our mascot, Larry the Lizard, has a better wardrobe than she does—”
“Then how did you even know my diary was missing? Or that it has a pocket on the cover?” I demanded.
Everyone in the room, including Principal Winston, just stared at her, waiting for her answer.
MacKenzie bit her lip and started to squirm.
“Well, actually … um, the whole school knows. Chloe and Zoey announced it during gym. And you write in it every single day. That’s how I know it has a pocket on the cover. But I swear! I don’t have it!”
“These types of allegations will not be taken lightly,” Principal Winston said sternly, and folded his arms. “I hope you girls can work this out, because if I get involved …”
MacKenzie’s face flushed, and she glanced at her purse.
“Okay, Nikki! If you don’t believe me, go ahead! Check my purse!” Then she sniffed and blinked back more phony tears for dramatic effect.
She removed four tubes of lip gloss, Tic Tacs, and a brush from her purse and placed them on the counter.
Then she closed her eyes and held out her purse like she was surrendering her new puppy to an unusually cruel dog catcher.
MACKENZIE’S PURSE WAS EMPTY!
All I could do was stare in complete shock.
What had that girl done with my DIARY?!
“Thank you, Miss Hollister!” Principal Winston said approvingly. “I’m VERY impressed with your integrity.”
But I was totally baffled! How had she tricked me like that?
“WELL …?!” Winston glared at me and began drumming his fingers impatiently.
How to Dork Your Diary Page 3
