by G. Bailey
"What's wrong? I thought my room would be quiet for us to talk," he questions me and walks further in the room waiting for me to enter.
"It's not that. It’s just being in the same room you've had dozens of girls in makes me a little uncomfortable to have our talk in here." I move away from the door and into the room to stand near him as he replies
"I’ve never had a girl in my bed other than you. I used the guest room." he rubs the back of his neck with a blush at that statement, like he is a little embarrassed to tell me this. I can't help but tense a little at the mention of him being with other girls. I tell myself I need to move past this because I can’t be like this around my child; he will eventually find a long-term girlfriend. Why does that thought make me feel like my heart is breaking in two?
"I'm sorry, for the girls I mean. They never meant anything to me, just a way to try to forget you. I lost myself in parties, trying to be happy but it never worked and I regret it all more than anything else in my fucking life May." He admits watching me with a weary expression.
I don't say anything in a reply because I'm not sure what to do but I do go and sit on the side of his bed to show him I’m staying. His amazing smell surrounds me and I want to lie in his bed forever, I think it would be weird to smell his pillows; I could blame it on being pregnant I guess.
Sebastian sits next to me after closing the door and exhales before letting his head drop. We are close enough that I can feel his heat but he doesn’t touch me.
"I'm going to talk and I'm asking that you don't say anything until the end, please," Sebastian asks adding the please as a second thought. I look at his face and it's filled with so much emotion that I can only nod.
"I never told you why I had bruises sometimes or why I had to be with my brothers, and come back with more fucking bruises. I didn't want you to be disappointed in me and I lost you anyway without trying. I'm guessing you've heard of the cage?” He waits for me to nod, the cage is well-known around here for being an underground fighting ring. It's the dirty secret of the town and everyone knows they pay the police to look the other way. Some of my friends have been but I never wanted to even when they begged me, they all said I would love it. The idea of watching people beat the crap of each other didn't apply to me and honestly I didn’t talk to my other friends as much as Allie, she always agreed with me that we shouldn’t go.
“Our dad trained us to fight there, as he was a partner and we are paying off a debt because he tried to kill the other owner. We didn't stop him from trying to kill the boss and we all have to fight a certain amount of fights to get out alive." he stops and I sit thinking how all the times made sense. I always thought they might be fighting in the cage. I guess I was way too scared to ask him, I think I ignored anything bad about Seb because I loved him so much. Seb continues after a second pause,
"So at sixteen, we all started fighting to clear our debt. That night you came over, well Luke had been in a fight. A bad one, I had to watch as the other guy broke Luke’s wrist and stabbed him. The fight turned nasty and I watched my once kind brother, lose himself as he killed that guy.” I pull in a shocked breath as tear fill my eyes at the thought of poor Luke, to be put in that position must be awful.
“Watching my little brother get beat on and knowing I couldn't stop it. Well, it destroyed me May. I listened to the hospital tell me all his injuries and I lost it. Elliot had a party going when I got home, he didn't know how bad the fight was but rushed off to tell the others when I told him. I got drunk, beyond drunk and I honestly was sitting there one minute and she was on my lap a second later kissing me.” I flinch away from him as he tries to take my hand but he continues talking despite my response
“I thought it was you for a while but when I did realise and you called my name. I pushed her off before anything else happened. I passed out after that trying to follow you and well when I heard the message you left me saying it was over.” He glances at me with his eyes filled with tears.
“The thought that you saw me... I lost it May. I went mad trying to find you for around two weeks and then I gave up. I gave up on life and started partying to forget everything and everyone.” He moves a little closer to me
“I started not caring about anything as my past controlled my future and I thought I’d lost you forever. I did sleep with Elena, I think I was trying to get back at you and I'm so fucking sorry for it." He says the end bit in tears with his green eyes locking in me in place. I get up to pace and place my hand on my stomach as my anger flood my mind. I knew he would have slept with Elena but to learn he was drunk that first night and he thought she was me is a lot to handle. I don't know how to feel about that. I can understand how much he must have felt guilty about Luke and how drunk he would have gotten. I've spent so long hating him for that but I get it, it all makes sense with his past.
"How many times did you sleep with her?" I ask sounding as bitter as I feel. I’m sure she destroyed my relationship and I bet she wasn't drunk that night. She took advantage of him and got what she wanted, it makes me feel sick.
"I don't think you want me to answer that, look at me May." he asks.
"Don't call me that Sebastian. Ok so more than once? When was the last time?" I ask.
"Maybe it was a few weeks ago and yes, more than once as she sort of stayed around. I don't know what else to say other than I'm sorry and I honestly don't care about her. I never did. No girl I've been with mattered to me like you did, or do. I was just lost and looking for you in every girl." He admits shakily.
I burst into tears. This is all too much to handle and I turn away from looking at him at all. I feel him wrap his arms around me and pull my back into his front as he hugs me. I eventually stop crying in his arms and turn to look up at him. Seb looks as devastated as I feel with his own face shredding silent tears.
"I forgive you for that night. I tried so hard to hate you but I never could. I tried to move on and I never could." I tell him.
"Thank you. I don't deserve it but May I…" he stops looking at my mouth and I can't help but be drawn looking at his. Seb doesn’t wait as he captures my mouth in a hot kiss that makes me melt into him as his dark taste fills my mouth, Seb always tastes like the best coffee you ever had. The kiss deepens as I wrap my hands around his neck and play with his hair, while his hands roughly slide through my hair. Seb runs his hands down to my ass as I gasp and he takes the advantage of my surprise to kiss me deeper. Was it like this when he kissed all those girls? When he kissed Elena. When he fucked her? The thoughts flood my mind as I try to relax into Seb; the problem is my heart is too hurt to let my body do that
I pull away sharply and take a few steps back while his eyes locks onto me like I’m his next meal; I raise a shaky hand between us
"No stop. I can't. I May forgive you for that night but for Elena? I can't." I say breathlessly.
"I'm sorry but I won't give up. I felt that. You kissed me back and I know you still love me like I love you. I'm going to wait for you to forgive me because I've always been yours like you've always been mine." He strokes a tear away from my cheek and places his other hand on my bump.
"I'm going to love you both so much that we will forget the past. I screwed us up but I'm going to fix it May. I was a kid then but I'm not now." He tells me as he pulls my head to his chest. We stay like this for a while as we both calm down.
I rest my head on his chest a second longer before turning away and opening the door.
"I have to go home so I guess I’ll see you soon?" I ask gently.
"Can I ask you one question? Did your parents make you date anyone else?" He asks looking so worried it almost makes me smile.
"No I've been pregnant Sebastian; morning sickness all day kind of makes you less dateable and only Kyle the asshole would try to date me." I laugh as he frowns. I should tell him that I dated someone else for a little while as a rebound, but I can’t find the words. Surprisingly, I just don’t want to hurt him and it annoys me.
"Si
ckness or not, you’re the hottest girl I've ever seen. So I have the right to be worried." he smiles sadly.
"I've been on dates with Kyle but that's my parent’s condition for sleeping under their roof. I won't let him touch me because of their rule, and he knows that but has it in his head that I'm going to marry him. I was just saving to move out, and keeping my parents happy." I tell an angry looking Seb.
"They shouldn't make you date someone." he runs his hands through his hair in frustration.
"They don't think I can handle being a single parent and I thought I was alone, in their own way they are trying to make me safe and happy, I think," I say with a deep grimace and look away, as even I don’t believe my own lie. I don’t look as I open the door and run straight into the face of Elliot who just walked out his room. His hand shoots out to my shoulder and stops us bumping into each other.
"You won't be alone, you have a family now," Elliot says darkly but smiles gently before walking off. I raise an eyebrow at Seb who chuckles.
"I’ll walk you out and that's Elliot way of saying congrats to us." Seb smiles before taking my hand and leading me out. I say goodbye to Allie and Izzy before promising to call them for a catch-up day.
"Thanks for listening to me today," Seb says stopping me getting in his car and I turn to look at him.
"We are having a baby together soon. So we should be able to get along as friends." I tell him still smiling.
"I want to do more than just getting along as friends May but I'll take what I can at the moment. Let's get you back to your car," he smirks at me, in a way that showcases his amazing smile.
"Sure," I say in a little bit of a daze. When he starts the car I can't help but voice what I'm thinking.
"Why do you want me? I'm huge now. I don’t look like the girls you've been with or how I looked before. Is it because I'm carrying your child that you want me?" I ask looking away from him.
Seb stops the car; we are half-way down his driveway as he turns my chin so I’m forced to meet his angry green eyes. We stare at each other as he places his large hands on both sides of my face and pulls me into a hot kiss, I can't help but let him as his tongue slips in my mouth and I hear him moan my name under his breath before kissing me again.
We pull apart eventually as we struggle to get our breaths back.
"Hell May, I've never wanted anyone as much as you. You’re beautiful, even more now and it annoys me that you can't see that.” He pins me in place with his serious gaze, I couldn’t look away if I wanted to as he smooth’s a piece of my stray hair behind my ear.
“Yes I'll admit I want us to be a family but I want you more, it's always been you for me May," he says moving so he is resting his forehead against mine. I want to believe him but I keep seeing Elena's face or all the other girls he had while he claims he was always mine.
"I can't Sebastian, I just can't." He cuts me off with a sweet kiss.
"Don't say anything now. You need time to think and forgive me for being a stupid idiot. I won't give up and I'm going to be waiting for you, even if it means I end up not having sex for the next forty-odd years." He grins at me while his eyes devour my body.
"Only forty, huh? Are you not planning on living past your fifties?" I joke to lighten the mood and try to ignore how happy it makes me that he isn't going to be fucking around with other girls right now.
"No. I’ll die from lack of sex by then," he winks and I can't help but laugh.
Chapter Six
Sebastian
“Seb are you ok?” Maisy asks from my side as I watch my father’s coffin in the middle of the church. Her hand is clutching mine and it is the only thing I’m concentrating on to stop the anger flowing within me.
The whole town has fucking turned up going on and on about how sad it must be to lose a father at this age, how it must be hard for Harley to have to raise us. They don’t know shit, Harley has always fucking raised us and our so called father was the idiot who got in his way. The only reason half the people are here today is because our father has paid them off or fucked them in some way. I turn watching as Harley and Luke ignore the priest who talks about redemption and a load of shit. The smirk on Harley’s face is quick but I catch it, the priest has no idea where our father is, the bastard would be in hell, not heaven. I’m surprised his coffin didn’t set a light the minute we walked in as a warning from God. I wish Elliot had decided to come with us, he just couldn’t and I actually am wishing I didn’t either.
“Seb,” Maisy’s soft voice asks again and I turn with a small smile on her beautiful face.
“I’m good; you know I love you right,” I whisper but it still seems to echo in the quiet church, I don’t care how loud it is.
“I know.” She whispers with her brown eyes smiling up at me.
“Would anyone like to say any words?” The Victor asks and I know the question is aimed at us.
“I would.” a deep voice says from the back of the church and I turn seeing Elliot walking up the aisle, well tumbling is a better word. Elliot’s hair is a mess and he is actually holding a bottle of vodka as he sways with a massive grin on his face.
“Elliot this isn’t the way,” Harley says loudly, moving to block Elliot getting to the front of the church.
“Get the fuck out of my way, I want to say goodbye to our dear old daddy,” Elliot shouts and it echoes around the silent room as everyone gasps.
“Come on, your drunk,” Harley says as I move to go and help. Elliot’s face fills with anger as he shoves Harley out the way and Harley moves grabbing his shoulder.
“Let me the fuck go. You are not our father and I don’t want your help. Just fuck off.” Elliot shouts as I finally get near enough.
“Don’t say anything you regret bro,” I tell him as he struggles to move out of Harley’s grip. Elliot’s bloodshot eyes glare at me as he shakes his head.
“I’m not our fucking deadbeat father but I actually give two shits about you. So you’re going to walk out with me or I’m going knock you the fuck out man. Either way, you’re leaving.” Harley whispers so only me and Luke, who is on Elliot’s other side can hear.
“That piece of shit doesn’t deserve a funeral, why did you give him one?” Elliot says loudly as many people whisper around us.
“I wanted to make sure the fucker is dead. He was never my family but you boys all are. We are Kings and from this fucking day forward we stick together in this shit life.” Harley tells us and he makes sure to hold eye contact with Elliot the whole time. Elliot finally relaxes with a grunt and Harley lets him go as he walks out with all of us following. I grab Maisy’s hand as she comes to my side with a worried glance and we walk out not saying goodbye to our father. The fucker didn’t deserve it anyway.
My phone has buzzed me awake and away from the dreams of my past. I look at it to see it’s only seven in the morning; I remember that I’m going to the gym early today to meet Luke.
I groan at how fucking hard I am this morning, being back around Maisy is a sweet kind of torture, for me and my dick. I forgot how sweet she smells, like honeydew melons and she tastes even better. Those stolen kisses from yesterday are drilled into my mind as try to calm the tent in my boxers. I check my messages, hoping it's Maisy but it’s Elena that certainly helped my dick deflate. I send her a text in reply
Me: I'm sorry Elena but I can't see you anymore. I’m dating someone now and it's serious. You should find someone who loves you.
I think that's nice and I send it because I don’t want to seem like a complete cold bastard. Honestly, Elena is a little crazy so I don't want to call her which would be the better thing to do. She was ok to have around because she is hot but I always felt cold around her. I felt dead. Her texts back straight away.
Elena: we don't have to tell her ;) I could be your dirty secret xxxx
Me: no. Delete my number and forget me Elena. Whatever this was its over
Elena: no your mine are you fucking kidding me?!?!?! Xxx
I dec
ide not to message her anymore as she is clearly bloody mad and it won't help with her moving on. I message Maisy to say good morning and ask how they are instead. My face lights up with a smile when I start thinking of them both. Maisy is even fucking hotter pregnant, with her wider hips begging me to hold on to them as I take her from behind. I love that all of her body has filled out a little more, she has this glow about her that I haven't seen before and after the way she kissed me back last night, I know I have a chance of getting her back. I have to hope she will forgive me for Elena and I’m fucking scared shitless that she won’t, it the most scared I’ve ever been, even as a child getting punched by all my dad’s friends. I’ll spend the rest of my life treating her the way she deserves if she gives me a chance too. I shake away my thoughts and change into some blue shorts and a black vest. I slip on some trainer socks and my trainers before heading to the kitchen. I bump into Blake and back away realising he is making out with my sister in the middle of the stairs.
"Seriously you have a room for that," I say loudly realising how damn awkward this, as I move past them.
"Alright daddy, chill," Blake laughs as I walk away raising a finger at the fucker and I hear Izzy whack him in the arm, followed by Blake’s overdramatic “ouch”. I shake my head laughing in my head at the pair and grab a bottle of water, and make some toast. I have half an hour before I meet Luke at the gym so I play on my phone while I wait for the toast. While I'm eating my toast Harley and Elliot walk in. Elliot looks better today, the serious edge never leaves my brother but at least he isn’t looking like he could punch someone just for sneezing today.
"Did you have a good night?" I ask Elliot.
"Something like that, I have company upstairs so can you let her out when she wakes up. I have to get to the club, the builders are having trouble with a wall or something." He groans pulling on his leather jacket and grabbing his helmet from the side.
"I'm not kicking your one night stand out." I hold up my hands at him as he glares at me.
