by Diana Fraser
“I just want a little time. That’s all. Nothing else.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Nothing?”
Her lips curled up into a deliciously sexy smile and she raised an eyebrow. “Well, now you ask, maybe I should be more demanding.”
She hooked her hand around his neck and brushed her lips against his skin. He closed his eyes as he let the sensations fill his blood. That was all she did and it was all she needed to do.
He grabbed her hand and they ran down the remaining corridors to their suite. He swung open the heavy teak doors and, without waiting to turn on the lights, walked across the marble floor to the canopy bed from which pure white silk linings were draped. They shifted slightly in the welcome fragrant breeze that came in through the open windows.
There, he thrust his fingers into her hair and held her head still so he could drink her in. In the darkness he couldn’t see the details, only her form, herself.
“I can’t believe you’re back in my arms, Taina. I still can’t believe it.”
“Nor me. I’m so sorry, Daidan.”
“It wasn’t your fault. It was all mine. I gave no thought to the fact you’d see an arranged marriage differently than I did. And I should have known.” He brushed his lips against hers and her mouth opened, wanting more. “You should never be forced to do anything you don’t want to do. And I’ll make sure it never happens again. I promise. Nothing must come between us again.”
He wondered as to her slight frown but his kiss soon swept it away.
He carefully undid her long dress and drew it away from her body and turned her around.
“I want to see you.”
She hesitated.
He kissed her. “I don’t want anything between us any more, not lies, not clothes, nothing.”
“Tomorrow. You’ll see me tomorrow when morning comes. But for tonight, feel me, taste me, just as you used to do.”
And he did.
Taina woke up with a start. Bright sunlight poured in unimpeded through the open windows. She turned to look at Daidan who was still asleep. Her heart thumped and she stared at the distance between her gown and the bed. She’d have to walk across the bright sunlight in which everything was plainly visible.
Last night her decision had seemed so logical, so easy. Her faith in Daidan’s acceptance hadn’t wavered. But it did, now, in the cold light of day.
Maybe she could delay it. Maybe if she didn’t make a sound Daidan would remain asleep.
Carefully she pulled back the cover. She wondered for a moment if she could wrap it around herself, but that would mean pulling it from Daidan and then he’d be bound to wake up and wonder why she was walking across the large room wrapped in a sheet. It wouldn’t end well. No, her only hope was to quietly slip out of bed naked.
She eased herself toward the edge of the mattress and then stopped when Daidan turned over and flung one arm over her stomach. She froze and watched his face. He was still asleep. Seemed he wanted to check she was still there even in his sleep. And no wonder. It would be a long time until they felt totally sure of each other.
She covered herself again, just in case she awoke him, and carefully lifted his hand and put it back on the mattress. He didn’t stir. This time she moved more quickly, slipping out of the bed and padding softly across the room.
“Where are you going?” Daidan’s voice rumbled sexily from behind her. She kept on walking.
“Just to the bathroom.”
“Well, come back to me afterwards.”
She felt her body respond to the invitation but she continued to walk, scooping up her dress as she went. “If you’re lucky,” she responded. She just made it to the bathroom before he got to her.
She closed the door behind her and leaned back against it, catching sight of herself in the mirror. How the hell was she going to get out of this? She looked around. Damn, there was no robe. She looked at her dress. She could hardly put this on again.
A few minutes later she exited the bathroom, clutching her dress in front of her.
“Baby, come here.”
She stood uncertainly, clutching her dress in front of her stomach. “Don’t we have an engagement in an hour?”
“I’ll re-arrange it. I have other, more important things on my mind.”
“Daidan… I…”
“Taina.” He stretched out and grabbed her hand. “Come here.” She fell onto the bed, her dress crushed between him and her stomach. He tried to move it away but she held on to it. She could see the precise moment when he knew something was wrong. He frowned and looked at her with intent focus. “What’s wrong? What are you doing?”
She shook her head.
“Tell me.” He kissed her when she continued not to speak. “You can tell me anything.”
Maybe she could? Maybe he really had changed in the time she’d been away.
He pulled her into his arms and drew the covers over her and kissed her tenderly and smoothed her cheek with his thumb. “Taina, tell me.”
She swallowed and drew in a deep calming breath. “When I first returned you asked me a question which I didn’t answer.”
He frowned. “I think I asked you many which you didn’t answer. Which one are you referring to?”
“You asked me why I wanted a baby so much, why I’d risk humiliating myself by asking you for one.”
He nodded. “And?”
She pushed back the cover and knelt on the bed facing him, letting last night’s dress fall to one side. But he didn’t look down as she’d imagined. His eyes were still focused intently on hers. He took both her hands in his and stroked the backs of them, encouraging her to continue.
“The answer is that something happened. Something that made me realize how much I would like to have a child.”
Still he said nothing so she continued.
“When you lose something, something you never even thought you wanted, then sometimes…”—she sucked in a deep breath—“sometimes it makes you realize just how much you want it.”
“What did you lose?”
“A baby.” The words emerged in a rushed whisper through her dry lips.
The grip of his hands hurt as he suddenly tightened them. “A baby?” His voice was as hoarse as hers. He pulled away and jumped up, pulling on his robe. Then he stood, hands on hips, looking out the window, unseeing. He shook his head.
She rose, naked now, and walked behind him, and hesitantly touched his shoulder. He’d said he’d understand. He’d told her to trust him. And she had. There was no going back now.
He spun around and she stepped away instinctively under the heat of his glare. “A baby? You had a relationship after you left me at our wedding? You had a baby from that relationship?”
She nodded mutely.
“Where’s the child now? Don’t tell me you’ve left it somewhere being looked after by someone else?”
She wanted to turn away, run from the glare of his gaze, from the glare of the exposing daylight. Only then did he look down and see what she’d been trying to hide. He shook his head and his eyes traced the tell-tale lines of her stretch marks. “So they’re what you’ve been trying to hide from me. You know, I thought you’d become shy, that you were nervous. But you were simply trying to conceal the truth.” She flinched under the look of disdain in his eyes.
He backed away from her and she was left looking out into the blinding morning light, the sun reflecting harshly off the white buildings below them and the sky which was almost white.
“You were unfaithful to me, to our wedding vows, to our agreement. How could you have done that, Taina?”
There was a limit to the truth and Taina had reached it.
She turned and folded her arms in front of her feeling vulnerable. There was so much to be said and so little she could say, not without hurting him further. She shrugged and shook her head helplessly.
“And this man, who is he?”
She shook her head. “He’s nothing.”
“Rig
ht,” he said with a steely tone. “You had a baby with a man who means nothing to you.”
She nodded. After all, it was the truth.
“Is it over?”
“What?” She couldn’t think of what he was speaking.
“Your relationship with the child’s father.”
She flinched at the idea that she’d had any kind of emotional relationship with the child’s father. “Yes. Absolutely.” A sob rose from deep inside her throat, constricting it as she watched his lip curl into contempt.
“I’d never have believed it of you. I don’t know you at all, do I?”
She shook her head, trying to deny what he so reasonably believed.
“Where’s the baby?” he asked her again.
She kept her eyes focused on the bright light outside. A sharp gleam of sunlight flashed as the rising sun hit an open window, making her eyes water. “She’s dead.”
“Dead? Ah,” he scoffed. “So the baby died and you now feel bereft so you thought you’d return to your husband and demand a replacement. Well, I hope last night did it for you, because it won’t be happening again.” He stopped before the bathroom. “Get showered, get dressed. We’ll be leaving as soon as my nephew’s celebrations are over.”
He cast one quick glance over her, standing naked before the white light of the morning, shook his head and walked to the door. There he stopped but he didn’t turn to face her. “Are you going to tell me who the father is?”
She shook her head. “I can’t.”
“You’re protecting him.”
She shook her head and he went out and closed the door behind him without another word.
No, she thought to herself, I’m protecting you.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Taina looked out the window with eyes that stung from lack of sleep. They were passing across the coastline of Estonia. Soon they’d see the waterways, lakes, and forests of Finland through the misty morning light. She closed her eyes. Thank God they were back. The flight had been a nightmare. Daidan had barely spoken two words to her. The bedroom lay unused. Daidan had remained in his office working—barking commands at people if they entered his office and glaring at anyone else—while she’d remained seated, trying to figure out how the hell she could make things better between them when she couldn’t tell him the one thing he wanted to know. Who the baby’s father had been. How she’d been conceived.
If she told him Daidan’s world would come crashing around his shoulders. He’d react with violence no matter how much he thought he was in control. If he’d sent a man to hospital for flirting with her, how much worse would this be? And it would impact the business as well. She couldn’t do that to him on top of everything else. She just had to hope that he’d somehow come to terms with not knowing and carry on. Because already she missed the man she’d come to know—missed his companionship, missed his warmth, and his loving. He’d come round, she told herself. He’d come round. But she felt cold inside. Cold and afraid that he never would come round.
“Just find him.” Daidan slammed down the phone and stood up from his desk, pushing his fingers through his short hair. Another trail had hit a dead end. He twisted round his computer and entered a few commands. He’d gotten further than he had done in the past. Because he knew she’d had a baby and so that narrowed down the search. But still he couldn’t nail down what had happened. Who’d she’d been with. There had been no scandal, no relationships that had hit the papers, no lover that anyone knew anything about. She’d been the same dignified person, attending parties, leaving alone. Not once had she slipped up that he could see. He was crazy with jealousy. All the time he hadn’t known that she’d had other men, he’d been able to persuade himself that, like him, she hadn’t had an affair during their separation. But now he didn’t have that luxury. She’d confirmed the truth. And he knew it was the truth. He could see it in her eyes and besides, it made sense. She’d lost the child, she wanted another.
From what he’d read losing a child, even if it was an unwanted one, could be a painful psychological experience. But it turned out it wasn’t painful for only her. It was beyond pain for him, too.
He sat back down at the computer, searching through the photographs that his contacts had found for him. Not once had she been photographed with another man other than in a group function. Only by herself, or with other women. He had his staff going over the receipts once more in the offices but they found nothing new. Only receipts from Aspen, the Maldives and New York. And there the trail stopped suddenly.
It seemed the only aberrant behavior from Taina was leaving him on their wedding day. Apart from that her public life was as immaculate as she wanted it to appear. But only he and she knew different. He’d always thought of her as “his” Taina, “his” woman, even when she was away from him, but now, as irrational as he knew it to be, he felt she wasn’t “his” any more. And the thought killed him. If he could only lay his hands on the man who did this to her he’d— He stopped abruptly at that thought, suddenly realizing that that was exactly why Taina would never tell him. She was afraid of what he’d do. Afraid he’d lose his control and end up in jail. He couldn’t blame her. It nearly happened once before. But once was enough. He’d changed, even if she didn’t realize it.
Trying to re-focus, he went through his emails. Yet another report of something a Russian had said to one of his staff. This time in New York. The repeated threats were becoming less veiled, more explicit. The threats, together with what Sahmir had said, had meant he’d have to step up security, especially leading up to the launch. Nothing must go wrong. He’d waited his whole life for the chance to create something of his own and he was determined not to have it ruined now. The business might have started off as Taina’s family’s business—and that image was still being used as its brand—but he now owned half, and the infrastructure and plans for expansion were all down to him. If he hadn’t stepped in when he had, the company would still be content to be a big fish in the small pond of Finland. Under his control, it was about to go global.
He took one more frustrated look at the computer and paced over to the door. The landing lights were lit, so he walked out of the office toward Taina. She sat with her dark glasses on but she looked up as he approached. He didn’t say anything, simply took the seat opposite her and clicked on the belt. He rubbed his stubbly chin and gazed stubbornly out the window.
She leaned over toward him. “Is this how it’s going to be, Daidan? You ignoring me? Christ, just look at me.”
He looked then. All he could see was her pale face and her sunglasses. “What’s the point, eh, Taina?”
Mistaking his words, she pushed up her sunglasses onto the top of her head.
He shook his head. “That’s not going to help. Even without your sunglasses I don’t see you. I thought I did. But I don’t. You’ve a shield between you and the rest of the world. You might have set it up as a protection growing up but it’s become a part of you now. Something to hide your true self behind so that no one can know you.” He sat back with a sigh and looked out the window again. “And that includes me.”
“I’ve obviously spent too much time with you then, haven’t I? Because you’ve turned self-protection into an art form.” Taina let the glasses drop onto her nose and turned away.
Taina sank back into the leather-lined seats of Daidan’s Porsche convertible and looked moodily out the window.
“I don’t know why you decided to get rid of Papa’s old Daimler.”
Daidan flexed his hands around the steering wheel and gripped it more tightly as he negotiated the rush-hour traffic of central Helsinki. “Precisely because of those three things: it was your father’s, it was old, and it was a Daimler.”
“Nothing wrong with a Daimler,” she muttered, unable to argue on the first two points.
She’d begun the flight back from Ma’in distressed by Daidan’s reaction, but with each passing hour she was beginning to get more and more annoyed. Yes, she could see why h
e’d be so angry—he’d always been jealous and possessive—but there was no way she was going to open up that part of her life to him. She simply couldn’t. It had been destructive then and had the potential to be even more so now. She’d told him it was a brief relationship—it had nearly killed her simply using that word—and that it had been a mistake, a mistake with long-standing consequences. Everyone made mistakes, she thought miserably as she continued to look out the window. Didn’t they?
She looked at him once more. She could tell by the flicker of his lids that he was aware of her gaze but he didn’t glance at her or speak.
“We can’t continue like this.”
He grunted.
“Apart from anything else we have to work together.”
He still didn’t meet her gaze, just continued to stare straight ahead, even though the traffic was stationary. “Since when have you been so concerned about work?”
“Since I accepted your counter proposal.”
He turned to her then, eyeing her coolly. “Ah yes, the proposal that would see you work for the company from which you derive your wealth, and replace your baby with a new one.”
She glared at him. “My baby died from complications a few weeks after she was born. She made me realize I want to have more children but there’s no way that she’ll ever be replaced, she was her own person. I’d never imagined you could be so insensitive.”
“Then we’re both learning things about each other, aren’t we? I’m insensitive and you’re unfaithful. What a great team we make.”
“It didn’t have to be like this, Daidan. Not if you and my father had treated me like a person, rather than a chattel.”
“That’s ridiculous. I never treated you like a chattel.”
“What would you call negotiating the terms of our marriage as a business deal?”
“Sensible.”
