I lay back, staring up at the darkening sky. “I sang backup the first night and he gave me my own song the second. I was barely out of elementary school and there I was in front of this crowd of people. Some snickered when I took the stage, like who is this kid, right? But the minute I opened my mouth, they all shut up, one by one. It was like a superpower.”
He hadn’t said anything so I glanced up at him. I watched him lean closer until he was close enough to kiss. It was all I needed. I curled my hand behind his neck and pulled him the rest of the way.
He parted my lips almost immediately, dominating my mouth with such authority it made me groan deep in my throat. He responded by pulling me towards his long, lithe body. I slipped my arms around his neck to hold him close. I loved the way he felt in my arms, so solid and real.
He dragged his lips away and fell over to one side. “God, Lacy. What are you doing to me?”
I wound my fingers into that short, cropped hair. “I don’t know,” I said at last. “It’s stupid to get involved. But you seem to make me break all my rules.”
I sat back up again and he followed. “Dad ended up leaving when I was fourteen. Nothing had happened in all that time, and he drank away all his disappointment, and most of our household funds, in the process. Mom told him he had to get a ‘real job’ or else she’d take me and leave. He was gone by morning. He just couldn’t make music and family work. And in the end, he chose the music.”
He looked at me for a long moment, processing the sad tale, before he ambled to his feet, pulling me to mine, saying nothing as he held me close and we began to sway softly to music only our hearts could hear. I felt so safe in his arms, like nothing bad could ever happen to me. I was cocooned, protected… loved. I had never felt that way before, and I couldn’t get enough of it now. I stood on my tiptoes to wrap my arms around his neck, reaching for another kiss.
“I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you,” he murmured, tangling his hand in my long hair.
From the way his body strained for me, I knew he was telling the truth. I shuddered as I closed my eyes. “God, I wish I could hate you,” I muttered. It would have been so much easier, but half as much fun.
He cupped my face with his hand as he kissed me deeply. He clutched me to him with those strong hands as his mouth devoured my lips. Finally he dragged his mouth away.
Before I could stop him, he stumbled away from me and headed to the log near the creek. “Jonah?”
“I have something to tell you,” he said without turning around.
I joined him on the log. “What’s wrong?”
His eyes were clouded as he looked down at my face. “Absolutely nothing. For the first time in a long time, everything is perfect.” He traced my face with his hand. “Unbelievable in fact.”
There was something he wasn’t telling me. I could read it in his eyes. “But?”
He sighed and took my hand in his. “I never even knew I wanted this dream of music till I met you. You’ve made this thing come alive for me and I am absolutely grateful.”
The more he talked, the more worried I got. “But?”
He swallowed hard. “Gay wants me to headline on Mondays.”
It was like a thunderbolt in my brain. I pulled away from him and stepped away from the log. He was behind me in an instant. “You have to know that I didn’t ask for it. I wasn’t looking for it. And if I didn’t need the money, maybe I could walk away from it…,” he offered, but we both knew that ship had sailed. He was as enamored with performing as I had been a decade ago.
“Bullshit,” was all I could say. I stumbled back to the blanket to pack up the food. “I saw it on your face the first time you sang in front of a crowd, Jonah. It’s in you the same way it’s in me.”
“This doesn’t have to change anything,” he insisted.
I spun around to face him. “It changes everything. And you know it. That’s why you wanted to bring me here tonight. To let me down easy so I wouldn’t blow a gasket at the club.”
“And would you?”
It was useless to deny it. “You’re damned right I would. This is my dream, Jonah. I’ve paid my dues. I wear my scars. Every goddamned day!” I threw food in the basket blindly as I fought not to show him my tears.
“And it’s going to happen for you. Why do you think I picked up that guitar for the first time? I see you, Lacy. You’re a star.”
I shook my head. “I should have known better than to go back to that stupid fucking club. This is my fault.”
I grabbed the basket and he chased me all the way to his truck. “This doesn’t have to be either/or, Lacy. Who says you can’t have both?”
I tossed the basket in the bed of the truck and pivoted to face him. “Let’s see. Gaynell. Tony Paul. My mother. Did I miss anyone?”
“Yeah,” he said as he grabbed my arms and forced me to look in his eyes. I could barely stand it. “I am not Gaynell. And I am not your mother. And I most definitely am not that fucker, Tony Paul. Dammit, Lacy,” he said as he took both my hands in his. “I brought you here because I wanted to share this with you. I’ve been dying to get you alone since the first night I heard you sing. I’m falling in love with you, Lacy. Every single goddamned day.”
It was the last straw. I couldn’t go through this again, not after Tony’s bullshit. He was once full of all sorts of lies while he got every advantage I should have had. And now history was doomed to repeat itself yet again.
I was such a stupid, stupid girl, mostly because I wanted him to tell me this time was different, that he was different… that I could finally have it all.
He pulled me closer and bent for a kiss. “Look at me, Lacy,” he said as his eyes bore into mine. “Open your eyes and really see what is standing right in front of you.” I couldn’t bear it. It hurt too much. It was yet another dream yanked out from under me. I couldn’t keep doing this over and over again. He cupped my face and forced me to listen. “You’ve spent all this time loving the music. Isn’t it time you chose something that can love you back?”
I shook my head. “You don’t want to fall in love with me, Jonah.”
He lifted me up into those powerful arms. “Too late,” he whispered before crushing his mouth on mine.
I was a goner. I didn’t just want him to love me; I needed him as much as I needed my next breath. I hadn’t felt this way since Tony Paul, but this was oh so much deeper and stronger. Jonah was my friend, my partner and my protector. At the tips of his fingers, I became someone else, someone fearless… someone powerful. I just wanted to disappear inside him, to be a part of him. I held him so tight it took his breath away.
I resuscitated him with my kiss.
He carried me back to the blanket, where we fell together. His hands were in my hair, clutching handfuls, sending chills to my core. I ran my hands down his rippled back and over the curve of that delicious ass.
It was more than he could take. “God, I want you,” he muttered against my skin. “Tell me you want me, too. For God’s sake, Lacy. Tell me!”
His voice was gruff, gravely, desperate. It melted what was left of my resolve, which was precious little. “I want you, Jonah,” I finally admitted. I knew what it meant. It was a game-changer. We could never go back.
And I didn’t want to. I wanted to go forward. I wanted to throw caution to the wind. I wanted to see what would happen. I wanted to hope beyond hope that my faith would finally be rewarded. He kissed me hard and I responded in kind as his hand slipped under my shirt, warming my skin and sending electric volts all the way to my toes.
He ripped the button-down shirt open, revealing my skin for his hungry mouth. I gasped as he kissed his way toward my breast, tickling my sensitive skin with the sexy beard that framed his even sexier mouth. The warmth of that mouth covered me through the bra I wore. I gasped as I arched toward him. He answered my unspoken request, unhooking the bra and throwing it aside, taking the hardened peak of my breast into his mouth and sucking hard. I cried out again
st him.
I grabbed the hem of his T-shirt and ripped it away from that spectacular chest. His golden skin was stretched across hard, rippling muscles. He felt sculpted beneath my hands and I was greedy for more. I followed the line of his body until I reached the fastener of his jeans. I could feel his hard cock strain for me through the denim he wore. The promise of that package had been teasing me for weeks and I was over it. I reached for him at last, circling my greedy palm around his rock-hard shaft until he trembled in my touch.
It grew even larger in my hand, which unlocked something raw and hedonistic inside of me. “I’ve dreamed about you,” I whispered in his ear.
He shuddered against me. He unfastened my jeans and slid my clothes from my body. My legs opened for his inquisitive hand. The firm tip of his finger slid around my clit, swirling in delicious circles that had me grinding against his palm.
Our eyes locked as he slipped two fingers inside of me. I clutched at him as I bucked against his hand. I lost myself in those eyes as he explored me intimately, thoroughly. I was unable to speak as he used his thumb to brush across my clit while he fucked me slowly with his fingers. He was relentless until I was coming hard and fast. It only made my longing for him more intense. I wanted – needed – to be filled… to be completed. I whimpered for him.
He was quick to respond, sitting up and kicking away those snug jeans until he released that raging erection at last. “Are you sure?” he asked as he kissed me.
I had never been surer of anything in my life. I had been locked tight all my life, and he held the key to release all the parts of me I had been too afraid to unleash before. I nodded. “Are you?” I asked, because that was the important question. I had no doubts that Gay and Jacinda had planted their lies in his head.
I needed to know that he trusted me, that he believed me. That meant more to me than anything. “I’ve never been surer of anything,” he said, echoing my own feelings right back to me. He grabbed a condom from his jeans and tore it open with his teeth. “Put it on me,” he commanded.
I trembled as I withdrew the prophylactic and placed it on the velvety head of his cock. We both trembled as I rolled it down that impossibly hard shaft. The second it was in place, he braced himself over me, holding me open by draping my legs on his elbows.
He sank himself into me with one decisive thrust. He filled me so completely that I couldn’t withhold a scream, which he caught in a hungry kiss. I squeezed him deeper inside me. I couldn’t get close enough to him. He luxuriated in every single stroke, taking his time, opening me up to him, staring into my eyes as he possessed my body with every single, powerful, stroke. We were connected in every way we could be.
It was the most intimate moment of my life. I found myself letting go with him in a way I never dreamed was possible. I planted my nails in his skin as I cried out, riding wave after wave of pleasure as I was swept away. He was the artist and I was the canvas at the tips of his fingers. I became his masterpiece with every touch and every thrust, while he breathed new life into me with every kiss.
He took me right to the brink more than once, gleeful when he reduced me to helpless whimpers. “You made me wait. I’m going to make you wait.”
I arched an eyebrow. So that was how he wanted to play? I squeezed his hard cock inside me until his eyes fluttered closed with a moan. “You’re the boss. Ace.”
He made me pay for that right away. He quickened his motions until I was crying out, ready to let it all go. He stopped again, slowing it down with an evil grin. “Asshole,” I chuckled.
He captured my bared breast with that sexy mouth and fucked me harder. He trapped the hardened nipple between his teeth. Electricity shot through me. “God, yes,” I cried out. “Jonah,” I finally whimpered and was met with a growl deep in his throat.
Easily he flipped us both over until he was on his back and I straddled his hips. “Show me what you want, baby,” he commanded softly as both of his hands rested on my hips.
I rubbed myself against his engorged cock. “Should I make you wait?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow and biting my lip, which was still red and swollen from his kiss.
He wore an evil smile of his own as he smacked me right on the ass. “You’re the boss.”
I sank down on top of him, impaling myself until he was buried tight inside me. I felt so sexy as I rode him. His eyes were dark and half-closed as he watched me. I rewarded him with a side of me no one had ever been able to see. I ground myself against him slowly, sensually, as my fingers danced along my bared skin. I cupped each breast for him, my fingers brushing over each hard nipple until my eyes closed and my head dipped back.
I felt more like a woman than I ever had. Looking down at his face, so lost in our lovemaking, I felt like a goddess.
I rewarded him with a kiss. He claimed me with both hands as he grabbed me tight, slamming me down on him as he ravaged my mouth. I shuddered hard as his hand slipped between our bodies to flick my clit with his fingers. I gasped as I undulated on top of him, desperate to come. He held nothing back as he rubbed me off. Our eyes locked just as I came. I convulsed on top of him, squeezing him so tightly I knew he didn’t have much further to go.
“God, Jonah,” I repeated and he arched his back to thrust inside me one last time. I held him there until the last shudder past, then I collapsed against him for yet another kiss. His arms closed around me.
“Worth the wait?” I murmured.
He nodded. “I gotta be honest with you. This was not how I saw the date ending.”
I wrapped my arms around him. I loved how he felt in my arms, in my body. It was like I had never belonged to anyone else. “Is it ending?”
“No, darlin’,” he promised at once. “This is just the beginning.”
It was almost too good to be true. “You promise?”
He curled his arm around my waist and flipped me onto my back. His kiss was the only answer I needed. We spent hours laying on that soft blanket, touching and loving each other under the soft glow of the moonlight. We went through the couple of condoms he carried in his wallet.
“Like I said,” he grinned. “I wasn’t expecting this.”
I traced his face. “Why not?”
He sighed heavily. “I figured you wouldn’t want to see me again after I started fronting the band on my own.”
I studied him thoughtfully. “Is that what kind of woman you think I am?”
“No,” he finally answered. “I know what kind of woman you are.”
My eyebrow arched. “Oh, yeah?” He nodded. “And what’s that?”
He kissed me slowly, toying with my bottom lip between his teeth. “You’re my woman.”
I trembled. “Oh, Jonah.”
His eyes darkened. “Say it again.”
My voice was soft as I ran my hand through his hair. “My Jonah.”
He shuddered in my arms. “God, woman. You bring me to my knees.”
My eyebrow arched. “And what are you going to do when you’re there?”
He smirked as he kissed his way down my body, leaving a fiery trail with the tip of his agile tongue. I gasped as he disappeared between my legs. He swirled that same tongue around my clit until I was humping against his face. He was relentless. He didn’t stop until I came so hard I could barely move by the time he climbed back up my body.
He was hard again, so he rubbed himself against my leg. “I can tell already that you’re going to wear me out. Remind me to buy a pallet of condoms.”
I giggled softly as I nuzzled his neck. “I’ve been using an IUD for the past three years,” I admitted.
His brow furrowed. “I thought you didn’t date.”
“I don’t,” I said. “Till now,” I added with a kiss on his nose. “I use it to treat endometriosis. I’ve been on some form of hormonal birth control since I was in my teens, to control bleeding and pain.” I paused to let that sink in. “Like I told you. I was on birth control when I got pregnant with Cody. I wasn’t out to trap anyone, then or now
.”
His finger danced along my sensitive flesh. “So what you’re saying is that I can make love to you again… right now.”
“I was kind of hoping you would, yeah,” I murmured with a smile as I pulled him back on top of me. When he sank into me, bare and raw, he could barely speak.
We barely said anything at all, which strangely made it even more intimate. There were no walls or barriers. Just skin against skin, mouth against mouth, and heart against heart.
We headed back to the city around ten o’clock. I utilized the bench seating in his truck to cuddle next to him as he drove. I wanted to be close to him, to touch him, to reassure myself this wasn’t a dream. He was real. And he was mine.
We only had one problem.
“Just to be clear, you’re okay with me performing on Mondays, right?”
My stomach fell. I had to look away. “Only a bitch would tell you no.”
He touched my arm. “You can tell me anything, Lacy. If you don’t want me to do this, you can tell me.”
I glanced back at him in the low light of the truck. “But it won’t change anything, right?”
There was a pregnant pause. “No,” he finally said. He didn’t even offer any excuses, whether valid or not. “I want to do this.”
All I could do was nod. It hurt me down to my core that I could have music or I could have love, but it seemed impossible to have both at the same time.
“Hey,” he said softly. “It doesn’t change how I feel about you.”
I nodded. I had heard it before, only a fool would believe it again. I glanced at his darkened silhouette. “Promise me one thing.”
“What’s that?”
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