I can fight my attraction to Jackson all day long, deny my body what it craves. But, I could never trick myself into believing that the connection doesn’t exist because right or wrong—it does.
The bell rings and the students file out of the classroom eager to start their weekend. Jackson remains in his seat, his chin pressed against his chest as he stares at the desktop. I close the door of my classroom before walking over to Jackson.
“What’s going on?” I ask, concerned.
Jackson shakes his head.
“What’d you say to Jeremy?”
Jackson raises his head; his stare catches mine. “I told him that if he knows what a condom is that he should learn how to use one.”
“Why would you say that?” I tilt my head to the side in question.
“You know Shelly Jones?” he asks.
I nod because everyone knows of the sixteen-year-old walking these halls with a large pregnant belly.
“He took advantage of her. He was her first. He tricked her into believing what they had was real. But, she was just his dirty little secret. He won’t even admit that the baby’s his. He won’t acknowledge her at all. She had so much potential and now she’s destined to stay in the crappy trailer, two down from mine, for the rest of her life.” Jackson stands from the desk.
“She can still accomplish her goals. People with children succeed all of the time,” I offer.
He shakes his head, “Not people like Shelly, people with her support system—or lack of one.”
He steps toward me, closing the gap between us. Raising an arm, he brushes the back of his hand against my cheek. Instinctually, I close my eyes and lean into it. Seeing Jackson almost every day this past school year, working to ignore him each day—all of it, should’ve made me immune to him by now. But, it’s the opposite. I crave him, all of the time.
I take a step back, pulling in a shaky breath. “Stop. We can’t.”
He levels a gaze at me, one full of adoration. “Do you know that I’ve loved you since I was six years old?” His quiet voice cuts across the space between us. His brown-eyed gaze roams over me and my heart stutters within my chest. “You probably don’t even remember.” He absentmindedly looks off to the side as if picturing the memory and then he returns his gaze back to mine. “I first saw you at the Independence Day parade. You must have been nine. You were wearing some big, poufy dress. You wore a sash across your chest from winning Little Miss South Carolina or something. And you sat on the back of a fancy red convertible as the driver slowly led you down Main Street. You waved and handed out candy to all the kids in town.”
A small smile forms on his lips, lighting up his eyes as he continues. “It had actually been a horrible day,” he scoffs. “My old man was drunk and pounding on everyone in the house, like he always did. He and my mom had passed out, wasted. My little sister was napping and I just had to get out of the house, to breathe—you know? So, I found myself watching this parade where all the kids from town were decked out in their brand new red, white, and blue attire waving little flags with big smiles on their faces. Whereas, I stood back in the shadows in my holey jeans that were two sizes too big and a t-shirt that was more black than the original white is was meant to be.
“The other kids approached the convertible as you tossed candy into their hands. I didn’t dare move from the shaded brick wall I was leaning against, but you saw me. You told the driver of the car to stop and you hopped down. I almost bolted as you approached me, but you looked like an angel or a princess coming toward me and I couldn’t turn away.” He smiles, hesitantly searching my eyes as he speaks, “You were so beautiful, the most gorgeous person I’d ever seen.”
“I remember,” my heart twists a little. “I gave you the bag of candy I was holding. You just looked so sad.”
“You smiled and turned away to go back to the parade. I took the bag of candy and ran home. I hid it inside a punched out area of the drywall of my bedroom. I shared it with my sister over the next few months, especially when it had been a bad day. Believe it or not, that was the first time either of us had tried candy.”
No words are spoken for a moment. The air between us buzzes with something more than lust, an awareness of something greater. After a few seconds, he says, “I watched for you after that. I spent a lot of time throughout the years hanging out in town, hoping to get a glimpse of you. I got to see you a lot, actually. You were always following your busy mother around. You know, I should have hated you or at least the idea of you. You are someone who has been given everything that I’ve always wanted. You’ve had love, opportunities, and protection your entire life. I’ve had none of that. We have nothing in common and yet, you’re all I think about. You’re kind, smart, beautiful, and utterly enchanting.”
His stare continues to hold mine. “Last night I held my little sister as she cried in my arms. She’s suffered more than a person should ever have to. While my dad liked to take out his anger on me with physical aggression, he used my sister for something else. The memories haunt her every night while she sleeps, causing her to wake with agonizing screams.”
I inch closer to him and take his hands in mine. “I’m nothing like the other guys here,” his brow furrows. “I’ve lived through things that douches like Jeremy could never imagine. I couldn’t care less about high school sports and hooking up with attention-starved girls. I worry about making enough money with my side jobs to feed my sister. I get nervous every morning when I check in on my mother, hoping she didn’t OD the night before. I focus on my school work and grades because I want to earn a scholarship to a local university. I’m going to be better than what I was raised as. I’m going to take care of my sister. I’m going to be somebody.” Sorrow lines his voice, so tangible that my chest clenches.
I cup his cheek in my palm, rubbing my thumb across his face. “You’re already somebody pretty great.”
His powerful gaze captures mine with an intensity that penetrates to my core. “Do you know what I thought about last night as I held my sister?”
Dropping my hand from his face, I bite my trembling lip with a mild shake of my head.
“I thought about you. Savannah, you are my salvation. You have been for thirteen years. I’ve held onto visions of you to get me through it all. I don’t know why.” His head moves back and forth with a sigh. “It’s nothing that I can explain, exactly. All I know is that you are good. You’re everything a man could wish for and your heart is as beautiful as your appearance. I want you. I need you.” His last thought drops down to a whisper.
A surge of helplessness consumes me. “But, I’m your…”
“I need you.”
“But, I’m…” My quivering voice is barely a murmur.
Jackson wraps his arms around me and buries his face in my neck, “I. Need. You,” he says breathlessly against my skin, each word a staccato.
A torrent of emotion crashes down around me. Yet, I no longer care about right or wrong. I just care about him.
His soft lips trail kisses along my neck, causing my skin to practically vibrate with pleasure. His mouth moves up across my jaw and after a kiss to my cheek he pulls away just enough so I can gaze into the deep green depths of his eyes that stare at mine in question.
He’s giving me an out.
But, I don’t want it.
Locked in this space, my face so close to Jackson’s that the air from our breaths dances as one between our parted lips, is the only place I want to be. Being witness to his agony, my heart aches for the beautiful little boy who was forced to grow up way too fast. At the same time, my desire throbs with need for the sexy, determined man he’s grown into despite his circumstances.
I close my eyes on an exhale, my final answer to Jackson’s unspoken question.
In an instant, his lips collide with mine. Tongues clash. Moans resonate. My fingers grasp desperately at his back, pulling him closer. The world fades away as my mouth moves against his. This is the definition of euphoria—complete a
nd utter bliss.
I knew kissing Jackson would be incredible, but I wasn’t prepared for this. There isn’t a word to adequately describe the way his mouth on mine makes me feel.
Without taking his mouth off of mine, he pulls my skirt up to my waist. I step out of my thong as he fumbles with his jeans. I hear the crinkling of a condom wrapper and then his arm is around me, lifting me onto my desk.
In one powerful thrust, he’s inside me and I can’t stop the cry of pleasure that comes from deep within. Ripping my lips from his, I throw my head back and he continues to push into me.
“Oh my God,” I chant over and over, relishing in the sensations coursing through my body.
This is everything I ever needed and never knew I wanted and I know that once will never be enough.
The reality of this situation resides in the foggy distance, but all that matters to me is the soul shattering connection I’m currently experiencing. I can’t summon the strength to care about the future when all of my energy is needed to absorb this magnificent gift of the present.
Jackson’s hands smooth across every inch of my skin beneath my clothes, branding me with his touch. I moan out toward the fluorescent lighting of my classroom, unable to contain my gasps of satisfaction. The cadence of our slapping skin intensifies—our bodies craving the finale.
Every nerve ending is lit on fire and then I fall—my body convulses with a ripping orgasm that tears through me, leaving me breathless. Jackson’s hips move harder, faster into me as he chases his own release.
“Savannah,” he roars out, causing my insides to clench and hold him tighter as he lets go.
He falls on top of me, sighing my name over and over. His lips place absent kisses across my face and neck. For a few moments the only sounds within the room are the humming of the lights and our collective heated breaths. We lay across my desk, motionless—save for the rising and falling of our chests—as I wrestle with the uncharted course my actions are sure to take.
Eventually, Jackson stands and disposes of the condom. I shamelessly take him in, absorbing every inch of the man that was just inside me. A cocky grin lights up his face when he notices my perusal.
I swallow hard, quickly shaking my head as I slide off of the desk and rearrange my clothing. The realization of what just transpired begins to fill my mind, but it’s impossible to process when my body is still reeling from the event.
Jackson closes the distance between us. Taking my chin between his fingers, he lifts my gaze toward his. “That was even better than I had imagined it would be,” he says, his voice husky and sexy.
“Jackson,” his name is a desperate plea.
He reaches across the desk and grabs my purse. Reaching in he pulls out my phone and types across the screen quickly before dropping it, allowing it to fall back inside my bag.
“I have to go to work,” he says as he places a quick kiss on my lips. He turns and starts to walk toward the closed exit door before he shoots me a backwards glance, a playful smile adorning his face, “Oh, and Savannah…this will be happening again.”
My mouth falls open, but before I can respond he’s already gone.
Walking around my desk, I plop down into my chair. I scan the room taking in the bulletin boards of English to Spanish noun translations, verb conjugations, maps of Spanish-speaking countries, and photos of other countries’ cultures. I’m in a real classroom, my classroom—where it’s my job to teach. And yet, I just had the best sex of my life atop this desk.
What have I done?
I reach into my purse and pull out my phone. Jackson texted an unfamiliar number, which I know is his.
The text reads:
Meet me tomorrow at 5:00pm behind Old Man Warren’s barn.
I shake my head with a groan and send another text to the same number.
No!
God, doesn’t he know that what we just did can never happen again?
I had a hormone-induced lapse of judgment, a severe one. I’m not going to throw everything I’ve worked for away just for a hot lay, regardless of how mind blowing it was.
My phone buzzes in my hand with his response.
5:00. Don’t be late.
I said, NO! I quickly type back.
His response is almost immediate. See you then.
I toss my cell into my purse with a huff. My eyes fill with unshed tears, my emotions spinning out of control. I don’t know which thought is making me feel worse, the thought of never being with Jackson again or facing the repercussions if I am.
Chapter Five
“Are you okay, Savvy?” Maggie asks with a concerned tone breaking the stare down I have going on with my iced tea.
I look up from my glass. “Yeah,” I smile weakly. “Just tired.”
“You only have three more weeks until you can put this exhausting first year of teaching behind you,” she reassures me.
“Right,” I nod. Three weeks seems like an eternity at this point.
My mother walks out onto our front porch, looking perfect from her cream heels all the way up her twisted up-do that doesn’t have a stray hair out of place.
“Good afternoon, Madison,” she says cheerfully.
“Good afternoon, Mrs. Sullivan,” Maddie answers.
“How are your parents, dear?” my mother questions.
“They’re great. Thank you.”
“Wonderful. Do tell them I said hello.” My mother gifts Maddie with one of her fake smiles.
“I will,” Maddie nods.
My mother turns her attention to me. Lowering her gaze, she presses her lips into a line as she scans my attire of cut off jean shorts and a tank top. “If you are going to have company dear, getting dressed would be recommended.”
“I am dressed, Mom.”
“In something suitable,” she gives a curt nod. “Anyway, I was wondering if you changed your mind about coming with me to the council meeting.”
“No, Mom. I have too much going on right now. I have no interest in the city council.” I take a sip of my iced tea.
“Yes, clearly you are incredibly busy,” she says in a terse tone. “Well, your father and I are going to go to dinner with some friends after the meeting. So, we won’t be home until late.”
“Okay,” I say in response.
“It was good to see you, Madison,” my mother says before turning on her heels and heading back inside.
“You too, Mrs. Sullivan,” Maddie says to my mother’s retreating form.
When the front door has closed, the two of us break out in laughter. “You really should try not to dress like a whore when I come over,” Maddie says through a fit of giggles.
“I can’t help it. I’ve always aspired to be a hooker,” I laugh, feeling lighter.
Maddie lowers her voice, “Seriously, how can she always have such a stick up her butt?”
“I don’t know,” I shake my head. “But, it’s always there.”
“We’re looking for a place as soon as school gets out.” Maddie pins me with a warning stare.
“Agreed. I promise,” I say with a chuckle.
“So, do you want to do something tonight?” Maddie asks.
“No, I have a lot of papers to grade. I think I’m just going to stay in.”
“Alright, well I have to run home and put on something suitable. I’m showing a house in an hour.” Maddie stands from the porch swing.
“Have fun. Make sure to makes someone’s dream come true, Ms. Tate,” I say in jest.
“That’s the plan,” she shoots me a wink before skipping off of the porch. “Let’s go to Charleston tomorrow. I need some new summer attire.”
“Me, too,” I agree. “Sounds like a plan. See you tomorrow.”
“Bye,” Maddie smiles before jumping into her shiny navy Mustang convertible.
“Bye,” I wave as the loud engine of her sports car sounds and she pulls out of the drive.
Chapter Six
I have no idea why I’m doing this. This is stupid…
.so incredibly dumb. I laid in bed all night convincing myself of exactly why I shouldn’t be doing this, going over all of the wrongs in my head, which wasn’t too difficult seeing that there are tons of wrongs wrapped into this situation.
I should have just gone to that damn city council meeting with my parents.
But, I’m not at a meeting full of closed-minded people discussing the first world problems of our very fortunate community. Instead, I’m walking through fields of dirt. In a month’s time I’d be surrounded by corn stalks as high as my chest, but right now the freshly planted crops have barely sprouted from the ground, leaving me fully exposed as I make my trek toward the large red barn.
I’m just going to tell him that we can’t do this. This isn’t right and it has detrimental consequences, at least for me. I have to do the mature thing and end this, whatever this is.
I sense him, my skin vibrating with desire, before I even see him leaning up against the back of the barn. He’s wearing worn jeans that ride low on his hips and a snug white t-shirt that clings to his muscles. He looks like a model straight out of GQ Magazine—farm edition--if there were such a thing.
Why does he have to be so gorgeous?
“Hey, beautiful,” he calls out when I’m close enough to hear him.
I close the gap between us, “What are we doing? Why are we meeting here?” I ask.
“I work here. I take care of the crops and livestock for Old Man Warren.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. It’s good money and flexible hours,” he shrugs.
“What if he catches me back here? He’ll tell my father.” My words come out as more of a shriek.
“He won’t. He’s at mass with the family and then they go out to dinner. They won’t be back for a few hours.”
“Jackson, listen…” I start to say in the sternest voice I can muster.
He steps toward me, his proximity making my words fail as he tucks a loose strand of hair that fell from my ponytail behind my ear. “I missed you,” his deep voice does crazy things to my insides and makes my knees weak.
Revealed: A Hype PR and Eye Candy Bookstore Anthology Page 24
