by Karen Anders
Unbearably aroused by his stare and the dark fire in his eyes, she’d never been this open with a man. Her chest rose and fell, her breathing uneven and quick. He groaned as he felt the slickness of her sheath. She saw Sean’s nostrils flare, watched him touch his tongue to his lips as though tasting her scent.
Sensation after sensation poured through her in unbearable waves of charged pleasure. Low in her belly, pressure built like a coiled spring ratcheting tighter and tighter. The sheer pleasure on Sean’s face dragged a moan out of her. He was gorgeous, each muscle in his chest delineated, sweat rolling down over the taut muscles in little rivulets. His biceps, coiled curves of solid power, supported her weight. His hair was damp and clinging to his temples. Her gaze connected with his as if drawn into an embrace. It was as if he touched her soul and she touched his.
He slid his hand up her body over the indentation of her hip, the swell of her stomach. Moving forward, his eyes glued to hers, he pressed her back against the ladder. Leaning in, he kissed her mouth with a deepness that seemed to go to the very bottom of her being, turning her inside out and upside down. The very unfolding of her soul like a flower opening to the power of the sun.
She got lost in the well of his gaze and fell and fell and fell, but instead of a searing jolt at the bottom, there was comfort and joy, and buoyancy that lifted her up and up and up, holding her in a cherished warmth.
She loved him beyond time and space and anything that could be defined. Truly, deeply, the man of her dreams, the man she was destined to hold and treasure.
Her heart twisted inside her with excruciating pain. She knew all this and yet, she still had to let him go. She couldn’t have both her job and him. It wasn’t going to work. But until it became an issue, she would cherish each moment she had with him. When she let him go, it would be for good.
“Sean,” she said in the still air of the enclosed closet. In supplication, she rubbed her face against his, reveling in the feel of his skin, in the commanding movement of his body deep inside her. With a silent plea, she grasped a higher rung and raised her body offering, giving, beseeching.
He bowed toward her, closing his eyes, breathing hard. He moved against her, the heat of him, the feel of him sliding in and out of her, electric.
Lana sobbed out his name on a rasping moan, arching into him, her body jerking and convulsing, heat and sensation that she’d never experienced before. She reached for him with her body, straining against, trying to hold on to the highly charged, erotic moment.
By focusing all her awareness on the smooth motion of their bodies heightened the thrill.
“Don’t close your eyes,” he whispered, thrusting hard into her. “Look at what I’m doing to you. Feel my body take yours. Thrust into you, deep into you. Watch.”
With a slow, hard push he made her watch as he moved in and out of her. “I want to watch you watching me.” He reached down between their bodies and touched her hot aching core catapulting her to the most shattering climax of her life. The entire time she pulsed around him, Sean didn’t take his eyes off her face. And when he felt her go slack, he continued to stare at her and hold her gaze while he thrust his hips harder and harder, pumping until his body jackknifed and it was her turn to watch the hard sensations take him into his own breathtaking orgasm.
10
THEY HEADED FOR HIS APARTMENT because it was closer, stopping only long enough to get food. Once in his place they ate ravenously, shed their clothes and made love in his big bed just as ravenously.
Exhausted from the shift and drained by love-making, they fell asleep in each other’s arms.
Lana jerked from sleep, the sound of Sean’s name echoing in her head. That stupid, damn dream of the woman dangling from the bridge again, only this time it’d been Sean hanging between life and death.
And she’d dropped him. Watched as his terrified face grew smaller and smaller.
Drawn in spite of her fears, she knew what that dream meant. It didn’t take a psychiatrist to tell her that she didn’t want to fail him.
She turned her head on the pillow and gazed at him sprawled easily and accommodatingly on only one side of the bed.
Firefighters could sleep anywhere, she thought, even a small cramped space, a space Sean would no doubt give up to her. His generous nature couldn’t be disputed. Even with this new side of him, he continued to give of himself unerringly.
He was deeply asleep, facedown on his stomach so that his premium backside was peeking from the covers along with one sleek hip. And she all of a sudden and quite terrifyingly had to fight the fact that she was starting to think of exclusivity with him. It wasn’t something they had talked about, but she saw his reaction whenever Pete got close to her. Thinking of Sean with another woman made the little green-eyed monster bite hard on her heart.
His hair was tousled, thick and drew her hand to smooth it from his temple. The skin on his chest she knew was silky because she’d had it pressed against her breasts. And she marveled how she wanted him again.
The shattering way he made love to her was addictive and she couldn’t imagine ever letting another man touch her like she let Sean touch her.
She wanted him.
All of him.
She wanted to absorb him into her, let him fill up and shore up all those places where she lacked. Good and bad, physical and emotional, soul and heart. She wanted every bit of him.
And knew with trepidation that she probably always had. That he was the man her heart had no doubt been daydreaming of for years, this generous man who was becoming someone she found irresistible.
He was the man her spirit had been looking for.
As fascinated by the recognition, as she hungered for it, she moved closer to him to get a better view of the man every part of her longed for.
She couldn’t imagine getting along without his friendship.
Didn’t want to.
She needed him.
And that made him dangerous.
She waited for the irrational fear, the customary rush of apprehension, to put distance between her and the thought. It didn’t and that was a little sweet surprise.
He opened his sleepy smoky-gray eyes. Smiling with a dangerous languor, he touched the skin of her cheek, rubbing his thumb along the indentation.
“Hi.”
“Hi, yourself.”
“You’re still here.”
“Where else do you think I’d rather be?”
“I don’t know. Independent Lana.” He moved closer to her, drawing her into his arms. “Intimacy and independence are sometimes like oil and water. They don’t mix. Giving yourself over physically is so easy. Trusting someone in slumber when you are your most vulnerable can be more difficult.”
“I like sleeping with you, Sean, and seeing your face first thing after I open my eyes.”
“Thank you,” he whispered.
“For what?”
“For letting me have that.” He unfolded, caressed her cheek, her jaw. Ran a gentle thumb across her lips so that they parted slightly, readily and tried to follow when he drew his hand away. “For giving me that kind of depth in our friendship.”
“We’ve been friends a long time.”
“But we haven’t been lovers that long.” Sean offered her a purely male, purely wicked grin.
“It’s been wonderful.”
He nodded. “So now that we’ve established that we trust each other, why don’t you tell me what keeps you tossing and turning both at the station and here?”
Lana bit her lip and should have realized that Sean would know that although she acted fine, she was a chaotic mess inside. “It’s just that for a split second, I almost dropped her.”
Sean didn’t miss a beat. “But you didn’t.”
“I know.”
“Why are you dwelling on this?”
“I don’t know. I’m just sure that if I had lost her I wouldn’t have been able to forgive myself, especially after I saw the baby. He was so little.”
“You’ve got to let this go.”
“I know.”
“Second-guessing yourself and replaying these incidents with a different outcome only makes it worse.”
“You’re right. I know that you’re right. Except when I dream, I dream that I’m dropping my father…and you.”
“I understand you don’t want to fail me, but what’s up with your dad?”
“He wants me to make captain,” she whispered.
Sean was silent for a moment. He shifted and moved closer to her. “At Station 82?”
His hand went to her hair and he slowly caressed her as she answered. “Yes, you know it’s his old station and tradition.”
“You’re afraid of failing at that?”
She snuggled closer to him, sighing. “I guess deep down inside I must be.”
“Are you feeling that maybe this dream you have doesn’t stem from what you want, but what he wants?”
“What do you mean?”
For a moment Sean didn’t answer, then he said, “How long has he been pushing you?”
Lana felt the bedrock of their relationship crack with a very fine fissure. “You mean helping me?”
“If that’s what you want to call it.”
“That’s what it is. I’ve had this dream of becoming captain ever since I could remember.”
“Why didn’t you ever mention it before?”
Lana felt something shift inside her and she shied away from it. It was too big for her to contemplate, too big for her to deal with.
“The subject never came up,” she said steadfastly with pure conviction in her voice.
“That sounds like bull to me. Maybe you’re not as sure as you think you are.”
“I’m sure,” she insisted. But inside she was panicking. Why? She was sure it was what she wanted.
Sean’s skeptical eyes seemed to look right through her. She didn’t have anything to hide, did she?
“If that’s the case, we’ll have to think about this.”
“Why?” she asked, her voice gruff and uneven.
Sliding his arms around her back, he hugged her hard. “Lana, I can’t stay at the eighty-second if you’re appointed as captain there.”
Lana closed her eyes and hugged him back “Why do we have to talk about this now?”
Sean shifted his hold. Spanning her jaw with his hand, he tipped her face up and brushed a soft, reassuring kiss against her mouth. “You think our relationship won’t be long-term?”
Her head lifted and her voice was steady, husky. “I didn’t say that, but I think you’re jumping the gun.”
“I’ll have to transfer. It’s the only answer.”
“I think we can deal with this in the future, when we have to, Sean.”
Sean was quiet. “All right. I’ll drop it for now.”
Lana felt a moment of unease and it made her close her eyes. She liked this new side of Sean, but the assertiveness that went with it was annoying, making her question something she’d believed in all her life.
LANA SAT OUTSIDE THE TESTING office looking at the people going in and coming out. She had to register if she was going to take the test, but Sean’s words echoed in her head. Was this something that she really wanted? Of course it was. She’d worked hard and long for it every day of her life up to this very moment.
Yet, she just sat there and stared.
From the time she could remember, she wanted to be a firefighter like her father and not only excel at the job but reach the goal of captain.
The other odd thing about this captain business was that she hadn’t said a word to Sean about this test. She hadn’t told anyone except Sienna and Kate. Next to them Sean was her best friend, and this morning had been the perfect opportunity to tell him she’d been studying for it. So why hadn’t she?
Finally, she headed toward the office, but it felt as if she were going to her doom.
LANA PLOPPED HERSELF DOWN in the chair across from Sienna’s desk.
Sienna smiled. “You look good, positively glowing. Sean?”
Lana couldn’t help but grin back. “I’d say he’s positively glowing, too.”
“So the dare worked for you, too?”
“I guess it did, sort of.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I told Sean about wanting to become captain.”
“And?”
“He questioned whether it was my dream or my father’s.”
“Why would he say that?”
“I saved a woman from falling two days ago.”
“Saw that on the news.”
“I almost dropped her, Sienna.”
“Wow. How have you been handling it?”
“You know how this job is. It’s ninety-nine percent mental. Getting through each call is mind over matter. That’s where the control freak thing comes into play.”
“Right. Good old control.”
“Anyway, I had this dream about dropping my dad. I told Sean. He thinks it’s because I don’t want to fail him. When I told him about the captain’s goal, he thought maybe it’s my dad’s dream and not my own. That’s why I’m dreaming about dropping him.”
“Is it?”
“No!” Lana said more sharply than she meant to.
Sienna raised her brows. “Have you signed up for the test?”
“Yes. I did. So see. I’m committed.”
“That proves it. Lana, I’ve never known you to go forward with something you don’t feel one hundred percent about. You must want this very badly. Look what you’ve accomplished to get where you are now.”
“Right. You’re right. I’m second-guessing myself for nothing.”
Sienna nodded. “So do you want to know what I found out about Bryant?”
“Sure.”
“Nothing.”
“Not even a speeding ticket?”
“Nope. He’s clean as a whistle, except…” Sienna said, looking up at Lana.
“What?”
“He’s received some extra money lately. Two payments.”
“Bribes?”
Sienna shrugged. “Not sure. Could be anything—extra work, inheritance, or lottery winnings. Problem is that unless he’s a suspect, I can’t go further with an investigation.”
“I’m probably off base about this guy anyway. Incompetence isn’t a crime. He just doesn’t do his job well.”
“You think he might be the arsonist?”
“I thought so, but it could be because I really dislike him.”
“Could be.”
“Pete Meadows said he was also incompetent as a firefighter, so I’m probably wrong.”
“That leaves a suspect out there somewhere.”
“Right. Someone is setting those fires.”
“Did you get a soil sample from the last one?”
“No. If I get caught doing that, the captain will come down on me hard.”
“How about I do it?”
Lana sat up in her chair. “Good idea and that leaves me out of it.”
“I’ll let you know the results.”
“The results of what?”
Lana’s head whipped around and Bryant was standing next to Sienna’s desk.
For a moment she just stared at him, then came to her senses. She stood up and slid the folder with the results of Bryant’s background check under some of Sienna’s other folders. “It was personal, Lieutenant Bryant.”
He glared at her, but she was pretty sure that he hadn’t seen the folder. If he had he wouldn’t have hesitated to make a stink about it and rat her out to her captain.
“I’ll see you later, Sienna.”
Sienna nodded and Lana headed to her car, relieved that Bryant had been too distracted by sneering at her.
She still had her dry cleaning to pick up before she could go back to Sean’s and snuggle with him.
Lana got into her car swinging her purse onto the seat. She dislodged the folder that Tim the photographer had given her at Bryant’s office.
The pictures inside scattered in a fanning array across the floor-board of her car.
The mysterious firefighter was in each picture.
11
LANA FELT IN HER BONES that this was a breakthrough. Something concrete that she could show her captain and Bryant. They would have to acknowledge it.
But what if she did give the information to Bryant and he botched it or worse yet, still wouldn’t believe her. He could damage the case. That was something she couldn’t allow. It was up to her to find out who this guy was.
She stuffed the photos back in the manila folder, deciding that she was going to keep quiet about it until she had a name and some more evidence.
She put the car in gear and drove over to Sean’s apartment. When she walked through the door, he was sitting at his breakfast bar reading the paper.
“Hi, babe,” he said, returning the kiss she gave him as she approached.
“Where have you been?”
“Out on errands,” she hedged, deliberately keeping the information about the test registration to herself along with the photos.
Sean would tell her to turn them into Bryant and leave the investigation alone. He would caution her that if she was really serious about becoming captain, a dark mark on her record could jeopardize her dream. So, maybe she wasn’t as committed as she thought she was.
Well, he would be wrong, she thought as she stole a piece of toast off his plate. She was committed. It was that the investigation was so important. Yeah, that’s it. The thrill she got from pitting her mind against a criminal fire starter had nothing to do with her decision to pursue the case alone and in secret.
She grabbed a cup of coffee and said, “Let’s go out on the balcony and relax.”
“No.”
His sharp answer made her remember how he’d hesitated going up the ladder at the warehouse fire. “Sean, I’ve never seen you on your balcony. Why?”
“It’s too windy.”
“There’s no wind today.”
“I don’t like the bugs.”
