by Xavier Neal
I grunt a laugh. The vibration hurts my head. “I mean I'm really fucking miserable J.J. She won't answer my calls. She doesn't take my messages. I can't even get Emerson to pass anything along. Every minute of every day that passes is harder than the last. I've never loved a single person an ounce of the amount I do that woman and it scares the living shit out of me that it all might actually be over.”
“You were a dick, dude.” He offers me a hand to help me sit up. As I take it he adds, “But I don't think you're out of the running.” The throbbing increases in intensity, which is when he hands me a cup of coffee. “However, I do know drinking yourself into an early grave isn't going to get her back nor is it going to make you feel any better. Believe it or not, aside from all the bullshit we deal with as actors, you love what you do. You love the craft. You love the fans. You love the community we've created with the show.”
Nodding, I have a sip.
“Minka's not the kind of woman who would make me choose one over the other, but she's not exactly the kind of woman comfortable with you being the T.V. star Casanova you've got a rep for while she sits idly in the background. This is going to be hard to believe, but you can have both the career and woman of your dreams.”
“Oh yeah, Mr. Perfect? How?”
“You just learn to choose correctly on which matters more at the appropriate times. You choose to show her it's just a job when she needs to see that most. Like now.”
I have another sip of the warm liquid. “Have you been watching Oprah with Gen again?”
He chuckles and leans back. “Actually, that's a lesson I learned firsthand. You think you're the only boyfriend to ever fuck up and say something stupid in the history of dating? Do you not remember the dog is like a child conversation?”
Lightly laughing, I point a finger at him. “Gen was so pissed off. I remember she put the puppy in a stroller and left it in your trailer.”
“Yeah Chaos chewed through my favorite pair of high tops.” As I laugh again he sighs, “You see my point though. This is fixable. You just can't give up yet....”
I hope he's right. However, after weeks of being ignored, I can't help but feel like he might not be. One thing is for sure. I can't give up yet. When the world drops something so perfect into your life, you don't give it up without the fight of a lifetime. Or at least I'm not going to.
“That's the best part about real life, man. No story is already written. No finished copy is being put in circulation for actors to learn. There's no script to stick to. Whatever you want, you just gotta go get it.”
Minka
Emerson maneuvers a vase out of her way to prop her feet on my coffee table. “Why the hell does he keep sending you flowers?”
Trying to look around the vases in my room that are in my way, I answer, “To express his apologies.” With my laptop in hand I slide by the garden growing in my bedroom to the one growing in my living room. “My apartment smells like fucking potpourri.”
“Do cards not work anymore?”
“He sent those too,” I grump flopping down beside her. “They're covering my kitchen table. I'm thinking about using them to build a fort.”
As I open my lap top she questions, “Still not talking to him?”
“Nope.”
“It's been three weeks. Do you plan on ever talking to him?”
“Nope.”
Emerson reaches for the remote. “Not worth it?”
I don't answer.
That's a loaded question. Is he worth it? A month and half ago I couldn't have answered yes fast enough. Now? I don't know. We live two different ways. I'm t-shirts and hot dogs, he's Tom Ford and grilled salmon. I'm a blip in a newspaper. He's the headline. It's fun believing opposites attract in the beginning, but now it's time to face the stale, redundant music.
“I made the New York Times Best Seller list again.”
My announcement causes her to gasp. “What! That's fucking huge! How exciting!” Emerson's arms fly around me. “What the hell! Why aren't we out celebrating?”
I shrug. “Not really in the mood. But thank you. Your thanks and my mother's screams over the phone were plenty.”
“Boooooo,” she complains, turning on the television. “We need to go out and do something. Maybe a fancy-”
“No fancy,” I bite harsher than intended. “I've...I've had enough fancy to last me a life time.”
She purses her lips together and changes channels. “Why couldn't Pierce have ruined something I didn't like, like....waffles?”
“Why don't you like waffles?”
“How are you round and square at the same time?”
Her logic forces me to shake my head. While she searches for something to watch, I check emails from the company, the betas on the latest novel I sent them, and delete any I come across from Pierce. Afterwards, I check online making sure to respond to as many messages on Facebook as possible before loading up the new manuscript I started earlier in the week.
I suggest. “Pizza?”
“Are you seriously working right now?” Emerson complains.
Slowly, I start to close my computer, “No...”
“You know Pierce isn't my favorite person given the situation, but at least he gave you a reason to work less.”
The beginning of a lecture constricts the muscles in my chest.
“And I get it Minka. You love to write. You love telling stories, but do you ever wonder if you love telling them so much because you're scared to live your own? Because they get rewrites when you screw up? Because you can script a perfect response and plan out the pitfalls? All I'm saying is while you were with him you managed to start writing your own real life adventure. Maybe that's something to consider on the side of reasons to answer his phone calls.”
Unsure of how to reply, I clench my jaw tight.
“I'm not in the mood for a chick flick, so what do you say to an action movie?”
“As long as Preston's not in it.”
My attempt to make light of the situation is met with a smile.
So what if she has a point. But one important line she left out of her cruel speech is in real life it stings so much more when you get hurt. You know the pain on paper will eventually subside. That's not the same for reality. It's been weeks and every day without him manages to burn a little harsher than the one before. He's the first thought on my mind in the morning, the last one at night, and all the time in between I'm either wishing we were together or wishing we were trying to be via the computer or phone. As miserable as I am right now, I'm not sure I wanna risk ever being this unhappy again. And isn't that the bleak difference between the real world and fiction? You know exactly what to expect if you give the finished book another chance, a reread, a redo to impress you, to fix those feelings it hurt. If only the real world were so predictable.
Pierce
“I swear Caroline,” I say into the phone as the driver takes me away from the airport with Gunz in the front seat. “I'll be back on set and sober first thing Monday morning.”
“Don't make me quit,” she threatens.
“You won't quit.”
“I...might,” she snips. “Ugh. Whatever. First thing Monday morning Pierce Wyatt.”
“Swear.”
There's a long pause before Caroline sighs. “Hope you get her back.”
“Me too.”
Hanging up the phone, I anxiously check the time, hating time zones.
I flew out at 10 my time and arrive in at 2 a.m. hers. Middle of the night. If she doesn't forgive me I can at least guarantee she'll call the cops. Fun way to make headlines huh? At least it'd teach Eddie the lesson I should have a say in my own gossip antics.
The driver drops me at Preston's house where I borrow his SUV and leave Gunz for the night. Thankfully the trip to Minka's apartment is shorter than normal.
Beauty of most people being asleep at this time.
After parking, I promptly pop out of the SUV and run to her apartment door. Rapidly I knock
until it turns into a damn near pound.
Eventually a half awake Minka opens the door to meet me with a scowl. “What the hell? Are you crazy?”
“I am,” I sigh at the sight of her. Her glasses are falling down her nose, her wavy hair is scattered all around her beautiful face, and her body is covered in a t-shirt I must've left behind.
Maybe this isn't the lost cause I was afraid of.
“It's like 3 in the morning,” she yawns. Suddenly the rest of situation hits her. “And you're at my door. Wait. Why are you here? Shouldn't you be filming in Alaska or something?”
“Seattle.” My eyes roam across the vision I've missed more than any words could ever say. “And yeah I should be. But you won't answer my calls of any kind. You don't answer my cards or my emails, so here I am. Here I am to apologize for being an asshole. And this is where I will keep showing up once a week every week between filming until you accept my apology or file a restraining order.”
There's a hint of a smile on her face. She folds her arms across her chest. “I'm listening.”
“Dates are a dime a dozen, but you Minka Knight are not.” More nervous than I was for the audition that made me as famous as I am, I continue, “There's no one else in the world remotely like you. You're one in a million. You're my one in a million. I don't want a Cam or a Tessa. I don't want a headline or a front page. I just want you. I want the woman I can share hot dogs with.”
Her brown eyes soften even as her expression tries to remain cold. “You put weird shit on yours.”
“Sauerkraut. And it was a bratwurst.”
“Still weird.”
My body twitches to move closer but I keep the distance. “I want the woman who can go to the driving range with my best friend and brother-”
“I can't even hit the ball without help,” she whispers.
“I want the kind of woman who's not afraid to say what's on her mind no matter how crazy or outrageous it comes out, because it's not scripted. It's not fake. It wasn't set up by some PR agent without me knowing. No. I want the woman I fell in love with all on my own the moment my coffee spilled on her shirt. I want the woman I know I don't deserve, but will never stop working to try to.”
Minka's body leans against the door frame.
“I want the only woman I damn near threw my career away for and if she asked me I would.”
She tries not smile. “Well you can't do that. I don't wanna have to live underground for the next fifty years for killing the career of the one and only Pierce Wyatt.”
“Say it and I'll do it.”
Her mouth twitches but no words come out.
“I'm so sorry Minka,” I whisper out, this time bravely stepping towards her. My hands slide slowly around her waist. “And I swear to you, I won't make the same mistake twice.”
The minute her hands run down my chest, reprieve rips through my system roaming rapidly. “I might've overreacted a little.”
My forehead lightly touches hers. “I would've raised hell too. Love makes you a little rash and unpredictable.”
“Like showing up on my doorstep in the middle of the night?”
“You should write this into a book,” I playfully suggest.
“Nah,” she softly denies. “This is gonna stay right where it belongs....in my own story. The non-fiction one.”
Carefully I lower my mouth to hers for acceptance. As soon as our tongues touch, my body locks hers against mine.
Don't think I wouldn't have shown up every week like I said. It's a better way to spend the money than on drowning my sorrows in expensive liquor. Doesn't matter now though. I have the one thing that was missing from my life and I don't plan to ever let it go again.
Minka
Epilogue
Signing another book for the treasure hunt they're going to be doing at book stores across the country, I'm surprised when Pierce's hand drops down on the stack in front of me.
“Hey!” I squeak and lean up to give him a brief kiss. “Shouldn't you be on set? I didn't leave from Erick's side that long ago.”
“Small break,” he answers before leaning forward again. “More kisses.”
I giggle but cater to the request.
After he lets out a satisfied groan, he slides onto his trailer couch beside me. “Keep that shit up and the small break is going to be a long one.”
Playfully, I elbow him. “You asked for it.”
“I did. How's the signing stuff going?” He questions. “Almost done?”
I point across the room. “See those boxes over there?”
“Holy hell,” Pierce grunts and stretches his arm out behind me.
“Tell me about it.” Shutting another book I turn to face him. “And you're sure Caroline doesn't mind driving me to ship these tomorrow? I mean her jobs to assist you not me.”
“Trust me, she'll be fine helping you instead of me for a few hours,” he answers, his hand stroking my cheek. “And if I have to pay her extra to help then I will. I'll do anything to keep you watching me on set and coming back to you on breaks.”
With a crooked smirk, I shake my head. “You know I fly home next weekend.”
“Don't remind me,” he groans. “Two weeks at home before you'll come back. They're always so fucking long.”
For the past four months, Pierce and I have worked out an odd schedule. I spend a couple weeks on set, wherever in the world that may be, and then fly home for a couple weeks back in my own world. Most of my career can be done from anywhere, but I miss Emerson and not being cooped up in his trailer. When he can, Pierce takes a couple days off to fly out with me and then returns. It's not the easiest, but we make it work. I get to see him in full blown action and even get to see his romantic scenes with Camille, which I know should freak me out, but it doesn't. He's completely in character when the camera is rolling and completely not the second 'cut' is yelled. I don't particularly care for Camille but she keeps her distance. J.J. on the other hand, is like having a big brother who lives to tease and torture you. Oh! That reminds me. I need to sneak into his trailer and replace his shampoo with whip cream. That'll teach him to screw with my candy bars.
Pierce wiggles his eyebrows. “You know what else is really long?”
“You really wanna try to squeeze a quickie in?”
Without hesitation he nods. “Yes. Second best perk of you being in my trailer.”
“What's the first?”
“Just you being in my trailer.”
The well said line gets him a wide smile and a deep kiss.
Best part is I didn't even have to write the romantic things he says or does. It's all real and genuine, proving once more life doesn't need rewrites and revisions. While my non-fiction story is full of errors and unexpected twists, it's still beautiful and I love that it's mine.
Thank Yous
Crazy Lady- Hope you enjoy all the giggles with this one.
Her Husband- Thanks for letting me borrow your wife and take her around the country.
The Law Student- Look forward to many more trips with you.
Sissy B- Shhhhh don't tell Crazy Lady.
The Lumberjack- Did you know playing the word game is one of my favorites?
Katniss- Thank you for the girl dates.
Throwback- Thank you for all you do for my fans.
The Real Life Erin- Looking forward to your first work trip with me?!
Dallas Angie- This summer is going to be fun.
The PAs- Left and Right Brain. This goal list only gets checked if you two stand strong with me.
Boss Lady- Hopefully you love reading me as much as I love reading you.
The Editor- Another out of the park!
Genie- Keep raining magic.
Linda C- Thank you for always enjoying my work and helping share it.
Jessica L- Thank you for always reviewing, always being kind, and giving me a reason to smile.
Dreamers- Cheers! You ladies keep the good times rolling.
Authors I Admire- Thank
you for always keeping the path paved.
Bloggers- Thank you for the tours, the shares, and the encouragement.
Readers- Thank you for being with me on this epic journey.
Until next time....
The next standalone novel in the Hollywood exchange series will feature Pierce's brother, Preston Wyatt!
Curious about Preston's friend Azura or more tales from the city Minka lives in?
Check out the Adrenaline Series which is now available!
All Xavier Neal Books
