by Leah Brooke
She’d never survive it a second time.
Her heart beat furiously now, and she closed her eyes as memories she’d pushed back for years rushed to the surface, forcing her to relive the pain of their desertion all over again.
She must have misunderstood. Longing for them so desperately, she’d heard what her heart wanted to hear. She had to swallow heavily before she could speak, the disappointment like a blow to her chest. “Wh—what did you say?”
Mr. Tyler’s face softened, amusement and understanding shining in his eyes. “You heard me, Maggie. I sent a telegram right after Buck died and paid to have it delivered as soon as possible. We’re gonna stop in town on the way back to the ranch and see if they answered.”
Maggie fought for air as a wave of dizziness washed over her.
Her fondest dream.
Her worst nightmare.
Her head spun, filling her with a sense of unreality. She couldn’t face them again.
She just couldn’t.
They left, and after days, then months of crying for them, of lying in her bed at night wishing she could talk to them one more time, she’d finally come to terms with the fact that she’d never see either one of them again.
To have them come and go again now…
Fighting the anger building inside her, she turned to Mr. Tyler, fisting her hands so he wouldn’t see how badly she shook. “Why would you do that? Why would you send for them? The funeral’s over, and there’s nothing they can do. Send them another telegram, and tell them it isn’t necessary. I’m sure they’re far too busy to come anyway.”
Please let them stay away.
He scowled down at her. “Funny, I never remember you being so addle-minded before. You know damned well that both of my sons would do anything for you. Of course they’ll come. They love you. And you love them.”
She looked away, her face burning and the knots in her stomach getting tighter and tighter.
They’d loved her like a little sister, while in the years since they left, they were all she ever dreamed about. No other man could ever hold a candle to either one of them. It was too cruel to expect her to go through the agony of losing them again.
Frantic now, she grabbed Mr. Tyler’s sleeve. “Please send another telegram. I don’t want to see them.”
He shook his head, his stern look cutting her off in mid-sentence. “Don’t you dare say something you’re gonna regret. I won’t cotton to your lies any more now than I ever have. You miss them, and you’ve been thinking about them nonstop since Buck died. You need them, and they’ll be here for you. You’ll see.”
Shaken, she took a deep breath and looked away from the hopeful look in his eyes, wondering if she’d ever feel normal again. She had to get him to see that it would be better to leave everything the way it was.
If Eb and Jeremiah came back now, someone was bound to get hurt. Her.
Forcing a small smile, she did her best to appear composed while the knots in her stomach grew and rose in her throat, threatening to choke her. “I don’t know where you got the idea that…anyway, I think it’s just wishful thinking on your part to get Eb and Jeremiah back here. You’ve been like another father to me my whole life, and I don’t want to see you getting hurt. Please don’t put things like that in your head. It’s only going to hurt both of us.”
Hating that he must be missing his sons dreadfully to even attempt to get them to come home, Maggie touched his arm, smiling in sympathy.
“I know you miss them, but you still have me. I loved growing up with two fathers.”
Mr. Tyler met her smile with his own. “Don’t be afraid. Everything is gonna work out just fine. If my sons have their way, your children will have two fathers, too. Just you wait and see.” He grinned at her stunned expression and called out to several of the ranch hands to go ahead of them to the ranch, rattling off a list of chores he wanted done. No matter what happened, there was always work to be done. Others would stay in town with him to load up the buckboard with supplies.
A trip to town was never wasted.
Before she had a chance to say anything else, he jumped down from his seat to hurry into the telegraph office, showing more energy than he had just moments ago. His words kept racing through her mind, filling her with a sense of foreboding and an undeniable yearning.
Your children will have two fathers, too.
How could he know how much she needed both of them? Why didn’t he lecture her about the futility of wishing for something that could never be?
Heat and chills washed through her, one right after the other, as she waited for Mr. Tyler to reappear. She couldn’t keep her hands still, but she couldn’t make anything else move. Dizzy now, she held on to her seat for balance, blind to the activity in the street and the people all around her, her thoughts consumed with only one thing.
Eb and Jeremiah Tyler.
They’d both been the biggest part of her world, her entire life. She’d spent every spare minute with them from the time she’d learned to walk. They’d taught her to ride, to fish, and tried to teach her to hunt.
They’d teased her for being too soft-hearted when she didn’t like it. A reluctant smile played at her lips when she thought about how many rabbits they’d let get away after she begged them not to shoot them.
They loved their father and Esmeralda and respected Maggie’s father, but everyone knew that their biggest soft spot was for her.
At least, that’s what she thought.
Right before they left, there’d been a huge fight in the big house between the men and Mr. Tyler and her father but no one would ever say what the fight was about.
The next day they’d mounted two of their father’s horses and left the ranch and hadn’t been back since.
That was five years ago.
A mental picture of Eb and Jeremiah Tyler rose in her mind with alarming ease. She could still picture the dark brown hair that neither one of them liked to take the time to get cut whipping below their hats the way it did when they rode.
She clearly remembered Jeremiah’s golden brown eyes and the dimples that had the women in town vying for his attention and throwing themselves at him every chance they got. His eyes had always been full of laughter and mischief, a man who would race to hell and back just for the fun of pulling the devil’s tail.
Eb’s eyes, on the other hand, always looked far too serious for someone so young. His sharp hazel gaze always seemed to be watching—assessing everything around him.
But they’d warmed when he looked at her, the green twinkle in them when he smiled her way never failing to steal her breath.
She’d grown up with them, and they’d always treated her more like a sister than their friend and made it plain to everyone that they considered themselves her protectors.
Everyone knew that if Maggie wasn’t happy, neither was Eb or Jeremiah, and no one wanted to be on the receiving end of their tempers, the tempers Maggie faced head-on, much to the amusement of the other ranch hands.
When Maggie was only five, the Perrys came to Kansas City. Eb and Jeremiah, had taken her to town to visit Savannah, who’d been six and the only other girl her age around. As the girls became best friends, they’d quickly taken Savannah under their protective wings and indulged both girls endlessly.
Eb and Jeremiah bought Maggie hair ribbons and peppermint sticks, and she’d always been able to go to them to talk or to ask questions. It had never mattered to her that they were the boss’s sons.
They were just hers.
They’d become so important to her that she couldn’t imagine life without them.
But something had changed right before they left, something that put a distance between them she didn’t understand, and one they wouldn’t discuss with her.
And it hurt.
Memories raced through her mind, one after the other, until the final memory she had of them forced itself to the forefront, the one that remained forever burned into her mind no matter how hard she tr
ied to forget.
The day they’d left the Shenandoah.
She could still remember the sounds, the smells of that day as though it had happened only yesterday. It had been springtime, the smell of sweet hay and wildflowers in bloom a cruel mockery of the sadness in her heart.
Eb had been twenty-six, Jeremiah, twenty-four, several years older than her own sixteen, when they’d packed their belongings and come to say goodbye.
Heartbroken, she stared after them until she could no longer see their dust, her world crumbling as they rode away from her.
She often wondered just how long she would have stood there with tears running down her face if her father hadn’t come to get her.
She hadn’t received a letter from Eb and Jeremiah for almost a year.
The brief letter expressed their hope that she was doing well and a reminder to stay out of trouble now that they couldn’t be around to get her out of it.
She’d cried for days.
Since then, they’d written a letter or two a year, telling her about the land in Oklahoma that they’d won in a card game. Over the next few months, they’d won enough money playing poker to buy acres and acres more of it, so much of it, they’d said, that they owned everything as far as the eye could see.
They’d hired a dozen men and started raising cattle. While digging wells, they’d struck oil and had to hire dozens more.
It seemed they’d had nothing but good luck since they left.
They no longer had any reason to come home.
They wrote of desperados, the obstacles they faced living in Indian Territory, and hardships from the weather. Every letter, though, had been full of enthusiasm, as though they loved the life they lived now and relished each and every challenge.
For men like them, who lived for challenges and danger, nothing could be more exciting—or rewarding.
They were rich men, richer than even their father, and had a big ranch that they’d devoted their entire lives to. The last letter she’d received from them, months earlier, mentioned the house they’d begun building and the difficulties in getting supplies.
She’d never really understood why she’d cried when she read it. After all, she’d known they would never come home again, but just reading about them building a house she would never see hurt unbearably.
It made their desertion so final—so permanent.
They’d never mentioned missing her, and after her first tear-stained letter to them, she hadn’t said it either. Except for the infrequent letters, it appeared they’d forgotten her altogether.
In her letters, she’d never spoken of how lonely the ranch seemed without them. There hadn’t seemed to be any point. She’d only written about the ranch and the men they knew and told them very little about herself. Each letter she’d written had gotten shorter and shorter as she’d found it increasingly difficult to write to two men she no longer even knew.
Men who would soon be looking for wives and starting families of their own, if they hadn’t already.
The thought of it cut like a knife.
At the sound of whistling, she looked up, swiping away a tear as Mr. Tyler came out of the telegraph office with a lightness to his step that hadn’t been there before. The huge grin splitting his face made her stomach clench in both fear and excitement.
Would she get to see them one last time?
He hurried over to her, his twinkling eyes a painful reminder of Eb’s. “They’re already on their way. They’ll be here day after tomorrow. I know you’re worried now that Buck passed, honey, but everything’ll be all right now.” He waved his hand against the dust in front of his face when several horses and another buckboard passed. “My sons were right in gettin’ outta here. Kansas City’s gettin’ too damn crowded.”
Maggie couldn’t draw enough air into her lungs, the dizziness getting even worse. “They’re really coming?” She pressed her lips closed to stop the flow of questions she didn’t dare voice.
Mr. Tyler, in the process of supervising the loading of the buckboard, turned his head to meet her eyes. “Of course. I told you they would. They know you need them now.”
With those words, the pressure building inside her chest broke free. Sobbing, she buried her face in her hands and slid to her knees on the buckboard.
They were coming home.
For her!
Oh, God, it was a dream come true.
Mr. Tyler helped her back into her seat, catching her when she stumbled. “Easy, little girl. Don’t you worry about a thing. Eb and Jeremiah’ll be here soon.”
Hardly able to believe it, Maggie couldn’t stop crying as they rode back to the ranch, earning indulgent looks from the ranch hands that rode along either side of them.
Eb and Jeremiah were coming back to the Shenandoah!
Could she dare hope that one of them would marry her? If so, everything would be the way it should be, and she’d finally have the man she wanted. She’d long ago come to terms with the fact that it didn’t matter which one. She loved them both so much it terrified her.
It was a secret she would have to keep the rest of her life.
Especially from them.
* * * *
On the way to the train station, Maggie couldn’t sit still, literally shaking with excitement and bouncing on the hard seat.
Mr. Tyler chuckled as they arrived, and he brought the horses to a stop. “Calm down, girl. You’re as wound up as a cat in a roomful of rockers.”
In her haste, she jumped down and snagged her dress on a rough piece of wood. She impatiently yanked it, wincing at the sound of material ripping. Holding on to her hat, she ran to Mr. Tyler and hurried with him up the steps to the platform.
“Do you think the train’s on time? What if they changed their minds? Are you sure they’re coming?”
Chuckling again, he gave her his arm to cross the platform. “No, honey, they didn’t change their minds. They’re coming. Hear that? They’re here.”
The sound of the train whistle made her heart trip. She shaded her eyes and turned to watch its approach, the loud noise making conversation impossible.
It didn’t matter. She had nothing else to say, all her thoughts centered on seeing Eb and Jeremiah again.
Bouncing from one foot to the other, she gripped Mr. Tyler’s arm as she watched the train approach. She couldn’t wait to laugh and talk with them like before. They’d be able to ride and tease each other and take trips to town together.
Dinner would be a joyous event once again, and after dinner, she’d go walking with one of them, the one who would marry her, and he’d kiss her under the moonlight.
She’d be touched like she never had before and give herself over to a man for the first time in her life.
Just thinking about those big, strong hands moving over her naked form sent a wave of longing through her that weakened her knees.
Lost in her thoughts, she nearly stumbled when Mr. Tyler pulled her out of the way of the passengers getting off of the train and those who came rushing to meet them. She blinked, startled to realize that the train had already come to a stop. Her heart raced and her breath came out in short bursts, the anticipation of seeing Eb and Jeremiah again hitting her hard. Wiping her damp palms on her dress, she scoured the crowd for them, her gaze flying over and dismissing each passenger who disembarked.
The last time she’d seen Eb or Jeremiah she’d been little more than a girl. She’d changed quite a bit since they left. She’d become a woman and, for the first time in her life, felt self-conscious about her curves.
What would they think about the way she looked now?
Pulling the shawl more securely around her, she stilled as a strange sensation washed over her, a deep awareness that brought everything around her into sharp focus. Gradually, the sounds disappeared until the only thing she heard was the sound of her own heartbeat.
She slowly raised her head, alarmed at the tingling that went up her spine and settled at the back of her neck. Taking a de
ep breath, she swallowed heavily, turning her head, her eyes inexplicably drawn to the passenger car on the right.
Two men emerged and stepped off the train, each with an arm raised as they donned their hats, effectively preventing her from seeing their faces. Both men towered over the people around them and moved with a confident stride in her direction, their heads lowered in conversation as they approached, the brim of their hats keeping her from seeing the upper half of their faces.
Their dark suits did nothing to camouflage the primitive, almost savage power radiating from them. Something about the way their suits hugged their massive frames and the way they moved hinted at a wildness that had others giving them a wide berth. The holsters they wore low on their hips almost appeared to be a part of them, and although they each carried bags, both men kept their right hand free as though out of habit.
People stared, the easy grace in which they moved and their obvious strength mesmerizing as they cut through the crowd.
Tightening her hand on her shawl, Maggie stared, just as transfixed as everyone else. Instead of staring at them, she knew she should be looking for Eb and Jeremiah, but she just couldn’t tear her gaze away from their compelling presence.
She was still staring when, as one, they lifted their heads, their eyes unerringly targeting hers, the blast of heat from them scorching her, even from twenty feet away.
Gasping sharply, Margaret stepped back, straight into Mr. Tyler, who reached out to catch her shoulders.
Shaking her head, she tried to take another step back. “No. No. No.”
Except for their eyes, she barely recognized the Eb and Jeremiah that kept moving closer as the men who’d left five years earlier.
Hard. Cold. Undeniably breathtaking—the strength and purpose in their strides impossible to ignore.
Her mind screamed at her to run, but she remained rooted to the spot, unable to get her feet to listen to her brain.
As though they’d heard her breathless denial, both men’s eyes sharpened, their already granite-like expressions hardening even more.
This was not the Eb and Jeremiah she knew. Not the Eb and Jeremiah she’d dreamed of all these years. The barely restrained power in their movements hovered so close to the surface she would swear she could see it.
