by Ruby Rowe
Examining the kitchen, I notice the spattering of red in the décor. It’s vibrant against the bright white walls, and the old-timey appliances. Like the scarlet toaster, the color gives the room a fifties feel. I love how cool his mom is, and I imagine she was behind the look of this room.
“What can I help you with?” I ask.
“Nothing, dear,” Jeanine says. “You’re our special guest today.”
“Jake, where’s that hunky roommate of yours? The one that comes every year,” Aunt Bet asks.
“Elliott’s home sick.”
“What a shame.” Her hazel eyes dance back and forth between Jake and me before her lips spread to a wide grin. “You’re handsome, Jakey, but you better keep Elliott away from your girlfriend. He’s one hot piece of meat.”
“Betty!” Jeanine snaps as she blasts her with a dirty look.
“What? He’s an attractive, young man.”
“You said the right word–young. He’s too young for you, and Elliott would never try to steal Jake’s girlfriend. Best friends don’t hurt each other that way. Now, come over here and help us get dinner ready to serve.”
I look up at Jake and notice his irritated expression.
“We’ll be in the family room if you need us,” he says, his voice vacant of merriment. I follow him, and the sounds of his grandmother and mom scolding his aunt fade with each step. Once we’re in the family room, we sit on the loveseat, and I entwine my hand with his.
“Please don’t let Bet’s comment get to you.”
“It’s not what she said that’s bugging me. It’s what my mom said in return.”
“You’re worried she won’t approve of our arrangement, right?”
He sighs. “Look, this isn’t the time or place to talk about it.”
“OK, then I’m going to have to do a quick exorcism to get Scrooge out of your body.”
“I’m not possessed by Ebenezer Scrooge.”
“Look at me.” I press my lips against his. “There. My kiss was the ritual to ensure it. Did it work?”
“I don’t know. It might take one more.” Sliding his hand in my hair, he brings my mouth to his.
“Oooh, gross. You can’t kiss Ms. Lockwood,” Maddie spouts.
“Uh, huh. She’s my girlfriend, so I can kiss her whenever I want,” Jake replies.
She grasps her hips, but she has to reach back up to push her auburn hair out of her face.
“She was my teacher first.”
“She can still be your teacher … when she’s not kissing me.”
Scrunching her nose, Maddie groans and slouches, and I’m surprised by Jake’s antagonizing remarks. I guess he needs to take his aggravation out on someone. So, why not a five-year-old?
Thinking of Elliott, I pull my cell phone from my pocket to be sure he hasn’t messaged me.
“He’d let himself die before he’d ask you for help. You should know this,” Jake says.
“That doesn’t make me feel any better.”
He squeezes my hand. “Babe, he only had a headache and cough, so I’m sure he’s fine.”
“You’re right. His symptoms aren’t serious, but he was pale and tired.”
“He’s doing his residency. He’s always going to look exhausted.”
“You’ve had a short fuse lately. It’s worrying me.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll try to do better.”
“Dinner’s ready,” Jeanine says after poking her head in the room. “That means you men can get off your lazy butts and join us in the dining room. You know, to fill your bellies so you’ll have the energy to do the dishes afterward.”
“Yep, that’s the deal,” Carson says. “You sure don’t want it the other way around.” He chuckles.
“Oh, I’m sure you could handle it,” Jeanine replies.
“What are we having?” I ask Jake as we stand.
“For Christmas, we have beef roast. It was Nana’s specialty, and now Mom makes it. We have ham, too, but the roast is what we look forward to the most. Of course, we have a spread of side dishes, as well.”
“You look happy again. I’m glad to see it.”
“I am, and I’m also glad you’re here to share this day with me.”
CHAPTER SIX
Jake
Like every holiday my parents host, dinner is delicious, and I feel sick from eating so much. Besides myself, everyone’s having dessert, whereas my dessert was triple helpings of beef.
“Your parents have so many angels,” Sailor whispers at the table. She’s referring to the angel figurines in the two large cabinets in the room.
“Yeah, my mom’s been collecting them for years. I should take you by the pottery shop. She makes these cool angel wings to sell around the holidays. There’s one inside that cabinet.” I point to the curio in the right corner.
“Sailor, Jake told us about your family. Your father has built quite an empire with his company,” Dad says.
“Yes, he’s a successful businessman.”
“You must be proud.”
Shit, I should’ve told my dad not to bring up Sailor’s family.
“It’s an impressive accomplishment, but I think how we treat our family, friends and community is far more important than the success we acquire through our careers.”
“I like this girl,” Grandpop says.
“Do you have any siblings?” Aunt Bet asks.
Shit. I told my mom about Rebecca and how not to bring her up. I thought my family gossiped amongst each other, but they’re failing me today.
“I had an older sister, but she died about ten and a half years ago in a car accident.”
Bet and Nana cover their chests.
“I’m so sorry,” my aunt mumbles.
“Thank you.”
“This is why we all need to be nicer to one another,” Nana says, glancing around the table. “Life can change in the blink of an eye.”
Pulling her cell phone out of her pocket, Sailor looks down at her lap to view the screen. I’m so clueless sometimes. Of course, she’s going to worry about Elliott. She already lost her sister and a baby. She couldn’t take losing him, too. I know she’d worry the same about me if I were sick.
I feel bad for even the minutes I’ve been an ass today, but what Sailor doesn’t know is that I’m ill over having to tell my parents about the unconventional relationship we’ve chosen for ourselves. They’re not going to understand. I’m sure of it.
Also, I’m struggling to share Sailor, and that’s definitely not something I can tell her. It would only stress her out and possibly cause problems. The worst one being that I could lose her.
Every time I’m feeling like she’s only mine, which is what I need to believe at times, something happens to remind me she’s not, like the comments my aunt and mom made about Elliott earlier in the kitchen.
I thought I could handle this, and I feel like I have to, especially when it was my idea, but it’s proved more difficult than I expected.
“Sailor, what do you think about your Christmas present from Jake?” Mom asks.
Fucking Christ.
“Oh, um…” Sailor murmurs.
“He told us how much you enjoy meditation and yoga, so I thought it was so sweet of him to rent the apartment for you to do all the activities you love in peace and quiet. I imagine you need an occasional respite when you’re living with two men.”
While pinching my thigh hard under the table, Sailor clears her throat. Ouch.
“It really was thoughtful of him. Jake’s selfless that way, only thinking about others. It’ll be great to spend time there alone.”
Damn, I’m in hot water, but what did she expect me to tell my mom?
I need to rent the apartment so Sailor and I can have time away from her other boyfriend.
“I think Maddie’s dying to open presents, right, Mads the Spaz?” I ask, needing to change the subject.
Shrilling, Maddie hops from her chair.
“Yes! Pleeease, can I open my presents?” She’s givin
g a pleading, pitiful gaze to everyone else at the table.
“Sure, sweetheart,” Mom says. “Let’s move this party to the family room.”
Once we’ve chosen our new seats, Sailor leans over.
“I love you.”
“You’re not mad?”
“I was for a second, but then I got over it since I know this situation isn’t easy for you; however, I need you to tell them soon. I see my parents a few times a year, but you talk to yours daily. They don’t live far from us and could easily spot Elliott out with me. We can’t put it off.”
“I know. I’ll tell them this week while you’re gone.”
“Thank you.”
“This is for you,” Maddie says as she hands Sailor a small box she clearly wrapped herself. Green construction paper is haphazardly taped around it, held together mostly by red yarn and a giant gold bow.
“Thank you, Madeline. I’m sure I’ll love whatever it is.”
My niece lifts her little eyebrows. “Oh, you will love it. It’s exactly what you need.”
Sailor snickers, and I do, too, since I know what’s inside the box.
Maddie, being the only kid in the family, is the center of attention as she opens her gifts first. We adults drew names for the gift exchange, and Sailor drew Marcy’s.
I felt bad since she’d never met her, so I offered to trade her my mom’s name, but she said she had it covered. I imagine she had Maddie make something for my sister.
I thought Sailor would insist on buying Maddie an expensive toy, but she surprised me when she suggested we take her on outings instead.
Yeah, it will still be expensive, but she wanted to share experiences with her, and that left me in awe, but Sailor never ceases to impress me.
“Do you think Madeline will like our gift?” she asks as my niece picks up the box and shakes it.
“Once she understands what it means, she’ll love it.”
“This looks like a clothes box,” Mads says with disappointment.
“I promise there are not clothes inside,” Sailor replies.
Maddie opens the box and sorts through the envelopes.
“What are these? Bills?” she asks in disgust.
Everyone has a good chuckle at her expense.
“Open them, goofball,” I say. She begins removing the papers from the envelopes. Sailor printed them off websites for various events and locations around the city. “Sailor and I are going to take you on field trips. Just the three of us.”
“Really?” Her face lights up like New Year’s Eve at Times Square. “Where are we going?” Wide-eyed, she studies one of the papers. “To see Frozen?” she asks.
“Yep. Uncle Jake and I are going to take you to see the Broadway show Frozen. There are other cool places we’ll go, too, like the Children’s Museum and the SeaGlass Carousel.”
“There are twelve places,” I add.
“Thanks, Uncle Jake and Sailor. Field trips are fun.” She runs over and hugs us, and Sailor beams with happiness.
We all begin opening our presents. The sounds of paper shredding wash out the Christmas tunes playing from the stereo.
Voices become louder next as we talk about our gifts and thank one another. Unexpectedly, my sister bursts into a sob. My eyes dart to her, and she covers her mouth.
“Mommy, what’s wrong?” Maddie asks as she runs over to her and clutches her mom’s knees.
“Oh, no. It’s my gift,” Sailor murmurs. “Marcy, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
As she tries to regain her composure, she shakes her head.
“No, it’s perfect.” My sister points to the inside of what looks like a photo album. “Mads, look what Sailor made for me. It’s photos she took of you at school while I was away.”
“That’s my friend Emma and me feeding the fish,” Maddie says excitedly. I battle the tears, too, as my sister turns the pages and soaks in every word from my niece. Fuck, my girl is amazing. Not only did she give Marcy the best damn present ever, she gave me the means to forgive my sister.
Marcy screwed up big time, but she never meant to hurt Maddie, and I needed to see this moment to believe it. Wiping her eyes, she clears her throat and stares at Sailor.
“Thank you. Aside from being home with Maddie and my family in time for Christmas, this is the most special gift I’ve ever received.”
“You’re welcome.”
I pull Sailor close to me. “Do you take photos of all your students?”
“No. As soon as you told me about Marcy, I began taking random shots with my phone. I’d planned to give them to you to pass along, but once I drew Marcy’s name, it seemed like the perfect time. I guess I should’ve given the album to her privately, though.”
“It’s OK. I don’t think she minded.”
“Sailor, it’s your turn to open your present from me,” Maddie says.
“I can’t wait.” My hyper niece wrings her hands, doing all she can to resist grabbing the box and opening it herself. There’s barely room for Sailor to take off the lid as Mads leans over to see, too, like she’s already forgotten what’s inside, but I know that’s not the case.
After pulling out the shiny, silver whistle, Sailor snickers, and Maddie points at it.
“That’s a whistle so you can blow it every time Logan is being a B.U.T.T.”
“Maddie!” is said simultaneously by everyone in the room, minus Sailor and I, who can’t stop laughing.
“Well, we shouldn’t call Logan that name, but I have to agree; the whistle will come in handy when he and some of his friends are misbehaving.”
“Yeah, like when they’re chasing me and my friends on the playground.”
“Turn it over,” I say. Sailor does as I instruct and giggles again when she eyes the #1 Teacher printed on the side. Leaning over, she gives Maddie yet another hug.
“Thank you. It’s the best gift ever.” She turns to me next and murmurs, “It’s also the best Christmas I’ve ever had. Thank you.”
And just like that, it feels as if Sailor’s all mine again.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Elliott
“Sailor, you gotta tell me what’s going on,” I say as she sits next to me in the car I reserved for our drive to the airport.
“I’m fine.”
“You keep saying that, but I know you’re not.”
“Really, I am.” She squeezes my hand and smiles, but it’s unconvincing.
“No, because there’s a bubble of blood on your lower lip.” Using the pad of my thumb, I brush it away. “Your lips are too beautiful to abuse. You’ve been biting on them when you’re stressed ever since you were a kid, and if you chew on the inside of your cheek, I know shit’s really bad.”
“OK, I’m not fine, but I don’t want to tell you why since this is our time together.”
“Then it’s about Jake.”
Sighing, she looks out the passenger window.
“When I was with him yesterday, I was worrying about you. Today, after seeing how sad he looked when we left, I’m worrying about him. I think this situation is harder on all of us than we expected.”
“He’s a grown man. He’ll be all right.”
She turns her head back to me. “Jake’s not as strong as we are. He hasn’t had to be. Yeah, his job’s brutal, but he’s never had to go it alone. His family is profoundly supportive, like nothing I’ve witnessed before.
“I didn’t even know there were families like his. I thought that was only made-up shit on television. He’s never had his heart broken or lost someone he’s loved, either.” She shrugs. “He’s softhearted, and I guess I’m worried I’ll be the first to break his heart.”
I’m sighing now as I bring her hand up and kiss it.
“Baby, your thoughtfulness causes you undo stress. Seeing how much you worry, and overanalyze, is painful to watch, and I think this is one of those instances where you’re making a mountain out of a molehill. I’ve known Jake many years now, and he’s tougher than you think.”
“Listen to me. I’m grateful and lucky you even give me a chance. Yeah, I’d prefer to have you all to myself, but because I was a coward and didn’t find you long before you met Jake, this is the price I have to pay … the compromise I have to make, and I can live with it if it means I get to live my life with you.”
Cradling my cheek, she blinks away her tears. Those goddamn tears. I want them to stop flowing forever.
“You say the deepest, sweetest words when I least expect them. I love that about you, the way you’re strong and confident … dominant, too, yet you trust me enough to tell me how you feel.”
“I do trust you. I also trust that Jake will tell us if he can’t deal with this. We all agreed to call a meeting if there was a serious problem.”
“You’re right. He told us to go and have a good time.”
“Jake looks forward to the holidays the way kids look forward to opening their presents, so he’s pouting since he can’t take you to Jeanine’s family gathering for Christmas. He’ll live, and he’ll be thrilled to see you when we get home.”
Our driver pulls up to the curb at the airport drop-off.
“Now, enough about Jake. Let’s go have some fun of our own.” For the first time today, lust reveals itself in her curious gaze, and damn, I look forward to having time alone with her. Thank fuck my damn headache went away. I still have this annoying cough, but I can deal with that.
We wait by the vehicle as the driver retrieves our bags, and although the freezing winter air is Mother Nature’s way of putting arrogant New Yorkers (who think their city is better than all others) in their places, I’m determined to take what I want this minute.
Sailor starts walking, but I grab her waist and bring her close against me. I give her a deep kiss she’ll never forget, and once I’ve thoroughly shown her what she has to look forward to this week, I skim my thumb over her mouth. “Oh, and this lip’s only for me to bite.”
“I can’t believe what I’m seeing,” I hear someone say from behind me. I turn around, already recognizing the voice, and sure enough, Jeanine, Jake’s mother, is standing before us, glaring.
