by Mintie Das
Naomi is standing in the middle of my bedroom. I set down the Ouija board and smile at her. I’ve been searching for her everywhere and can’t even begin to explain how relieved I am that I was actually able to summon her. Only problem is that, although I can bring her here, I don’t know how to make her stay.
“Just hear me out, please.”
“Oh, so is this one of your powers? To have me come at your command? Wanted to show off a bit, huh?” Naomi says wryly. “I’m not interested in anything you have to say.”
Naomi starts to fade.
I grab her arm. “I’m sorry! I’m a self-righteous, judge-y bitch! I totally effed up and I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you.”
“Are you just saying all of this because you need me to save your ass?” Naomi eyes me suspiciously.
“Honestly, no.” I’m really not thinking of myself right now but that doesn’t mean that my own life doesn’t matter to me. “I was wrong.”
“You were. If that’s all, then I’m out.”
“No, wait.” I continue to hold on to her. “I wanted to apologize and I need to talk to you . . . about the video.”
“I should have known this was a trap! I don’t want to discuss it.”
I didn’t think she would. Lie and deny. It might have helped us at one time but now it’s going to end up damning us both to our own personal hells.
“I get that. But I think the only way we’re both gonna get through whatever it is that we’re in is if we start seeing things for what they are. Problem is, I don’t think we know how to do that. I sure as shit don’t. That’s why I need you to do it with me.”
Naomi stares at me. “Why?”
“I think that video is connected to your murder.”
“I told you that I was trashed. I don’t remember what happened.”
“I can help fill in some of the holes, and together we might be able to figure it out. If you want. This isn’t about eternal peace. It’s just about the truth.” Truth. The idea is so foreign to me that it almost feels strange to say the word.
Naomi nods while looking me up and down for a bit like she’s assessing my offer. “Fine. But I’m only going along with this because my feet are killing me from dancing for the last two days and I need to rest them.” Naomi sits on the other side of the bed. The tension between us is awkward and I don’t know what to say but I know that I have to say something or Naomi will leave.
“Okay, let’s start with what you do remember.”
Naomi sits with her arms crossed in front of her. “That’s the thing. It’s all so hazy. I don’t even know for sure who the two guys were except that I think one of them might have been Nate.” She says this like she’s trying to sound casual.
“I was at Grandma’s this morning to see if I could get any info on your murder investigation. You know that usual group that meets there every Thursday?”
“Yeah, the mayor and my dad and a few others.”
“Except that your dad wasn’t there today. Anyway, Sheriff Hopper said they’d identified the boys in the video.” I take a deep breath before saying their names. “It was Caleb and Nate.”
Naomi’s entire body freezes. It feels like an eternity before she speaks again. “Caleb . . . and Nate.”
Her voice is full of emotion now. I can’t tell if she’s asking a question or letting it sink in. “I’m sorry, Naomi. I know this has gotta be so hard to hear.”
We sit in silence again. When Naomi resumes talking, she sounds like she’s somewhere else. “It was the Saturday before our first game. My parents and little brother went up to Naperville to visit my grandparents. I stayed home because we had those double practices scheduled all weekend. That evening, I decided to have some people over. Not a rager, because everyone always watches everything I do. If I had a kegger the entire town would gossip about it the next day. But I decided to invite just a few people over. I texted you, remember? I knew you probably wouldn’t come because you’re always with Meryl and she and I hate each other.”
“That sounds about right. But why was Caleb there? He’s not part of the usual crew.”
“Nate hangs out with him all the time these days because Caleb supplies the drugs.”
She’s being surprisingly candid but everything about her, from the neutral expression on her face to her rigid body language, looks detached. “Drugs are the only way Caleb has any friends. Actually, Trent’s been worried about Nate lately. He’s been getting into some pretty hard shit, apparently. I was worried too because Nate was my friend.” Naomi’s eyes glaze over.
“He was mine too. We were all fooled by him.” I want to rip Nate to pieces. Caleb is no better, but Nate’s betrayal stings more.
“There were about twelve of us in total. People were coming and going because, remember, that was the night of the college’s bonfire?”
I nod. The university kicks off the school year with a cookout that is supposed to be family-friendly but always ends up being the perfect opportunity for college guys to hook up with high-schoolers. Meryl and I after-partied at the Phi Epsilon house that night.
“Who all showed up beside Nate and Caleb?” Saying their names makes me sick.
“Of course Trent and Tessa were there. Plus Jess, Collette, Lara, Becca, and a few of Trent’s football crew. Some people brought beer but I knew where my mother hid her stash of vodka so we had plenty of booze.”
“Absolutely no judgment here—I promise—but did you drink a lot?”
“Yeah, I guess, but not really a lot for me. You know how we always joke about how I inherited my mother’s tolerance?”
“Liz is definitely a power drinker,” I quip.
“Right. But that night, it hit me so fast and so weird. I guess now, knowing what we know, Caleb or Nate probably put something in my drink.” Naomi leans against the headboard.
“Sounds highly probable.” I clench my fists. That would mean that those bastards planned it.
“How could I have been so stupid? Drugged at my own party?” Naomi grits her teeth.
My heart sinks. “I’ll say this as many times as I have to until you believe it. None of this was your fault.”
“Keep on repeating it because I’m nowhere near buying it.” Naomi draws a shaky breath.
“I will.” I hate Caleb and Nate so much. “You said Trent was at your house.”
“For a while, but we got into a fight that night. That’s not so unusual these days. Or I guess it wasn’t so unusual.” Naomi bites her lip. “I loved him, Violet. I really did. But it was so much pressure.”
I only knew them as MHS’s very own version of a celebrity power couple. Everything on the outside looked so glam. I never really gave much thought to how it felt to be them.
“You know how we really got together?” Naomi asks rhetorically. “I mean, not that cutesy tale we tell everyone about meeting on my first hayride.”
I’m surprised by her forthrightness now. I think she’s been holding all of this Trent stuff in for so long that it must be a relief for her to finally let it out.
“What’s the real story, then?”
“It was the summer before my freshman year and my dad said”—Naomi lowers her voice and does her Jim Talbert impression—“‘Sweetie, you’re starting high school and you’re going to be dating more seriously now. You might as well be smart about it. Your best option is either Trent Thorman or Nate Hunter. They’re good boys with bright futures and they come from solid families.’”
“Are you for real? Your dad picked out your boyfriend for you?” I know all about demanding fathers. Naresh has quite high expectations for me and always makes sure to let me know when I fail to meet them. But even he doesn’t go that far.
“And I thought it was only you Indians that had the arranged marriages.”
“One of my favorite stereotypes.” I grin. “But why did he narrow it down to Nate and Trent specifically?”
“If you’re going to survive being a Talbert, you have to know
how to read between the lines when Jimbo gives you one of his ‘suggestions.’ The Thormans and the Hunters are the two biggest farm families in Meadowdale. An alliance with them was good for business. It wasn’t really a hard sell for me because I’d been crushing on Trent from the first time I met him.”
I notice there’s a glimmer in Naomi’s eyes when she talks, like she’s remembering a happy time in her life.
“Trent was cute and fun. We genuinely did fall for each other. But then everyone around us started making such a big deal about us. Not just the kids at school but, like, all the adults. Parents, teachers, people at church and around town. I liked the attention initially because, you know, he was my first boyfriend. It all felt so grown up.”
I prop myself up against a pillow. “So when did it change?”
“It wasn’t like there was this one big moment or anything. It was much more gradual than that. But there we were, only fourteen years old, and people would talk about us getting married one day and having children together!” Naomi’s eyes grow big. “It felt like my whole life had already been planned out for me.”
“Team Edward.” I smile. Practically every girl I knew went crazy for the Twilight series back in junior high. Naomi loved Jacob and I was a die-hard Edward fan. Naomi always teased me that among the many challenging aspects of being with a vampire, the worst was that you were stuck with him for life or longer.
“I forgot about that, but yes, I guess you could say I had my very own vampire.” Naomi chuckles. “I know we played up that whole high-school-sweethearts crap ourselves. I mean, we did have our own couple name. Taomi. Totally obnoxious, right?”
I cringe. “I forgot about that, or maybe I blocked it out on purpose.”
“I don’t blame you.” Naomi turns serious again. “I felt like we had become so much bigger than just two kids with a crush. It made me feel like I was trapped in that relationship for the rest of my life because I’d be disappointing all these people if we ever broke up. Especially my dad.”
I’m floored. I never realized what it truly meant to be Naomi Talbert.
“You said that night that you guys fought. What about?”
Naomi shrugs. “Who knows? Looking at it now, I guess we were sort of junior versions of my parents because we fought about everything. I think once we actually got to know each other, Trent and I realized that we were pretty different people.”
I don’t know Trent very well but I’d also wondered how they fit together. Like everyone else, I bought into the sweethearts façade, although I wasn’t gullible enough to believe it was as perfect as Naomi’s social media posts made it out to be. Trent is like a good ol’ boy and Naomi is a total big-city cat.
“What happened after Trent left?”
“This is where it starts to get hazy. Trent pretty much stormed out. I think it had something to do with me finding out he was cheating on me with that sophomore Missy Garrett.”
Naomi is remarkably blasé about it but I do a double take. “Wait. You found out he was cheating on you? Were you this calm about it that night?”
Naomi’s face falls. “I knew Trent cheated from time to time and he knew I cheated on him too. But I only hooked up with college guys and boys I met on spring break in Cabo. I didn’t suspect anything about Missy until that night.”
“Was there something specific that tipped you off?”
“I’m not sure.” Naomi frowns. “Maybe I saw something on Trent’s phone. I admit that I checked it from time to time, but he was usually quite discreet.”
“Got it,” I say gently. She’s really letting it all hang out here and I don’t want her to feel any kind of judgment from me. Even if the whole idea of Trent and Naomi having an open relationship blows me away. I didn’t even know that was something people did in high school.
Naomi traces the paisley pattern on my bedspread with her finger. “I can remember being pissed off that he was doing it with someone at MHS. Especially because what if Collette and her big mouth found out? Then everyone would know about it. I think that was probably what Trent and I fought about.”
Naomi sticks her tongue between her teeth. I haven’t seen her do that since we were little. She seems to be thinking about something, so I wait patiently until she’s ready to talk more.
“After Trent left, I remember now that I started hitting on Nate. Hard. I knew he’d always liked me but he was Trent’s best friend so I never went there. But that night, I did. I think it was payback for Trent being with Missy.” Her cheeks turn red. “Oh God, Violet! I started it with Nate.”
“None of this was your fault.”
Naomi buries her face in her hands and there’s another long silence. When Naomi speaks again, I can see that she’s gone back to that other place. “I see these flashes of stuff but it’s all disjointed. I have this image of kissing Nate. Tessa was there and she tried to stop me. We told each other everything so she knew all about Trent and me. We were in the kitchen and she said something about it not being right because Nate was Trent’s BF but I said I didn’t care. Maybe I tried to use the Missy thing as justification, I don’t know. But Tess was really mad and we argued. She left. Or maybe I kicked her out? Then I was back on the couch. My head—I was so dizzy and everything was so blurry . . .”
Naomi stops speaking and I wait for her to resume.
When Naomi continues, her voice sounds smaller. “I heard talking but I couldn’t make out the words. By then it was like I was fading in and out. I felt hands moving all over me. Fingers pressing into my hips. I knew it was happening to me but it didn’t feel like me anymore. I was screaming and punching and kicking but it was all going on in the inside because on the outside, I was paralyzed. Then everything just went blank.”
Naomi stares out the window. I notice that I’ve been holding my breath and gulp in a big mouthful of air.
“I woke up the next morning on the couch wearing one of my T-shirts.” Naomi’s eyes were back on me. “I remembered the party and fighting with Trent. I had a flash of kissing Nate but I didn’t think much of it. Tess filled me in on our argument but she’d been pretty drunk so she wasn’t quite clear on the details herself and we just laughed it off. And that was it. I thought it was a pretty standard night.”
I think back to the coroner’s observation of tearing and bruising. There’s no easy way to bring it up but I gotta ask. “Did you have any physical signs the next day? Your medical report said there was tearing and bruising.”
“Yeah, now that you say it, I remember feeling kinda sore.” Naomi fidgets a bit. “But Trent and I used to get pretty rowdy, so I didn’t notice much.”
“So then you didn’t know what happened until you saw the video the following week?” I ask.
“I watched my rape on Heffers and Hos,” Naomi whispers.
I close my eyes. The guilt I feel for being there, for watching, for judging, sinks in. “Watching that video was the last memory you have of being alive, right?”
Naomi nods.
“It makes sense that seeing it like that would trigger the trauma that you suppressed.”
Naomi nods again but I can tell she isn’t listening. “When I look at my life, it’s divided in two forever now. Before and after that night. It doesn’t matter that I’m dead because what they did to me changed everything all the way down to my spirit. Wherever I go after this, I’ll carry it with me. I hate them more for that than anything else.”
Naomi covers her face with one of my pillows. I move forward and hug her as tightly as I can. Neither of us wants to talk anymore. It’s been enough truth for now. Naomi buries her head in my shoulder and together we cry.
Twenty-One
Day 9: Dead
BRIGHT RAYS OF SUNSHINE cascade through the windows and the birds chirp merrily outside, warning me that this is my judgment day. My stomach flips.
Once our tears dried, Naomi and I spent the rest of the night “detectiving.” I study the makeshift murder board spread across my bedroom wall. Cal
eb’s and Nathan’s photos are pinned to the center since they are the two main suspects. If Naomi had stayed alive long enough to tell her side of the story, maybe it wouldn’t have been enough to prove rape in a court of law, but the boys would have faced a trial in the court of public opinion. That threat alone might have been enough to make one or both of them want to silence Naomi for good.
Caleb’s beady eyes stare back at me and I have no problem condemning him as the killer. This is much more about my prejudices than the truth, because I don’t have a single shred of actual proof against him. I just hate him. But I know that’s not enough.
I shift to Nathan and it’s almost the opposite feeling. After everything that Naomi told me last night, I know he’s a rapist. Yet I still can’t help but see my friend. My clear bias stops me from imagining Nate as the preta even though he’s as much of a criminal as Caleb.
Trent’s and Missy’s photos are also on the board although even I have to admit their motives are shakier. I understand the power of a jealous-lover storyline and they are definitely shady, but how many high-school love triangles end up in blood?
We can also include just about anyone Naomi has ever met as well as random strangers up on that murder board because I really have no clue who the killer is. The only thing that I’ve proven is that I suck as a detective.
“Okay,” I say. I hear the crackle and see the heat rise off Naomi’s hair as she runs my straightener through it. How can good hair be anywhere near a priority right now? But I guess someone like Naomi, someone whose looks have been scrutinized for so many years, probably doesn’t know how to step out if she’s anything less than perfect. Even though she’s dead and invisible. “Let’s run through what we know.”
Naomi sighs. “We’ve gone over this like a dozen times already.”
“Humor me and let’s make it a dozen and one,” I say. “According to the police report, you were murdered on Sunday evening on the blacktop of Grant Elementary School. It took one blow from a blunt-force object. We don’t know what it was. It was raining that evening and our only witness saw a person in a hoodie running away from the scene. Police say that I was the last person you called before you were killed.”
