Sage pressed her lips together tightly as she turned away, knowing that if she opened her mouth, nothing good would escape. Her eyes still burned, but she’d exhausted her allotment of tears, and a slow throbbing started to awaken, threatening a full-blown headache if she didn’t act quickly. Caffeine was definitely needed now, and the smell of brewing coffee was a welcome scent, almost overpowering odor of death hanging thickly in the air.
“For what it’s worth, I’m so sorry. Those bastards deserve to be put down for what they’ve done to our people.” Rina’s voice soured, its tone matching Sage’s current state of mind. “They killed my father too. A while ago,” she clarified. “But that’s how it goes. The death of a parent conscripts us into a war we’d never known nor wanted to be part of. A never-ending war.”
Rina was just as much a victim as Sage was. She’d shared the same pain at some point; probably felt the echoes of it still. The loss of someone you love was not a thing so easily forgotten. “I’m sorry you lost your father,” Sage offered gently, realizing that someday the cycle would repeat again should she ever have a child. Until the end of time. Her mother’s final goodbye struck hard. Sage had questioned the cryptic tone of her mother’s last letter, but now it made so much sense. They were doomed to continue the cycle. Sage imagined her own child one day going through this, feeling this same pain. No. The cycle would not continue with her. She wouldn’t have children.
“I still miss him. But at least I can carry on his work,” Rina replied, with a half-hearted smile.
“You’re an agent?” Sage hadn’t meant it to sound so rude, but she’d only been introduced as Ava’s assistant.
“We’re all agents first. I’m not very good in a fist fight, but I slay in the board room.” Rina giggled at her own joke.
In her current state of melancholy, Sage was humorless, but out of courtesy she attempted a chuckle when she caught the falter of Rina’s friendly smile.
“I can serve ASSET better behind the desk than I can out in the field,” Rina said, more seriously this time. “The undying paper pusher.”
“We all have our strengths,” Sage replied mechanically, still trying to gain control over her emotions. Rina hadn’t been the one to put her in this position. She hadn’t decapitated her mother. She hadn’t lied or manipulated Sage in any way, and didn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of her animosity. “I’m sorry I’m bad company. You don’t have to babysit me. I’m sure there are others in more need of your care.”
“Don’t apologize.” Rina reached out and took hold of Sage’s hand. “You got a raw deal. When things calm down, I have a bottle of wine we can share.”
“Much good it would do. Ever since Mom died, I’ve found I can’t even get good and drunk to numb the pain.”
Confusion flashed across Rina’s face for a split second before she reined in her expression. “That sucks! The awakening affects some people differently, I guess. We’ll come up with some way for you to work through the pain.”
Sage dropped her gaze to Rina’s hand still clasped tightly around her own. On her left wrist, she wore a leather cuff much like the one she’d seen Mark wearing. The leather was dyed blue, but it still bore the symbol of the tree of life on it like a branding. That was the kind of thing she would prefer to wear to cover her deformity. “Where do I get one of those?” Sage hadn’t meant to ask the question out loud, but the words left before she could stop them.
“It was a gift from my dad,” Rina replied, showing off all angles of the cuff for Sage to admire. A wide strap of suede leather, stitched with white thread, closed around her wrist with a two-pronged belt buckle. It was perfect, and wide enough to cover her mark completely. Sage couldn’t even see a hint of the tell-tale birthmark peeking out from the edges.
Sage pulled the necklace from under her shirt. “My mom gave me this.”
“At least we have something to remember them by.” Rina’s eyes lit with excitement, and she reached a hand out toward the necklace, her fingers dangling in the air just shy of the pendant. “It’s beautiful.” She let her hand hover for a moment, as if hesitant to actually touch it, and then turned toward the door. People were beginning to come in. “Duty calls. Keep that safe.”
Rina fell right into place, attending to the wounded being brought in.
Sage tucked her necklace back under her shirt. Her coffee had long since cooled, sitting untouched on the table next to her, but she gulped it down all the same, needing the boost of caffeine.
No one seemed to notice Sage as they passed her. She picked up on conversations in snippets, overhearing details of death counts and the occasional mention of the word darkling, but no one seemed to know why they had been attacked.
She’d seen so much in the last few days. Her whole world had come unglued. Fantasy and reality blended into a nightmare she couldn’t wake from. And at the top of it all was her mother. Darkling or whatever they called her, Miranda had been there, standing in front of her. Maybe she’d been drugged. Maybe she’d been brainwashed. Those sounded so much more plausible than the explanation ASSET had offered.
Either way, her mother was gone.
And just as Rina had said, ‘the death of a parent had conscripted her into a war she’d never known about nor wanted to be part of.’ Everything she’d been forced to endure was because of that stupid mark on her arm.
Devon had accused her of being passive, of having a victim’s mentality. He warned her to be strong and fight. And letting herself be told where she was supposed to be and what she was supposed to do was about as passive as it got.
Rina met her gaze from across the room. Her smile remained friendly. Sage returned it with determination.
This place felt neither safe nor where she belonged. And rather than accept what everyone else wanted from her, it was time she started to dictate her own destiny.
Sage made quick work of gathering her things and changing into her own clothes before heading back out to the main lobby elevator.
“Where are you going?” Ava barked at her just as she’d pressed the button to call the elevator up.
Sage’s heart jumped. She clenched her fists to steady her nerves and stared straight at the elevator doors, praying they would open.
“I expected better of Miranda’s daughter.” Ava sounded as if she were getting closer, but no clip-clop of footsteps confirmed it.
“Then you shouldn’t have killed her.” Sage ground her teeth to hold herself together. She kept her eyes straight ahead, knowing if she turned around, Ava might find a way to crack her resolve.
“Haven’t been paying much attention, then, have you?”
Pain sharpened Sage’s tone. “I watched her die!” If she were truly immortal, she’d have to live with the image of her dead mother for an eternity as a reminder.
“You watched a creature wearing your mother’s skin.” Ava’s cruel tone cut like a knife. “And yes, it was executed.” She drove the pain deeper with each sharply edged word. “Before it killed you, I might add. You should be thanking Mr. Maddox for saving you.”
If she never saw Grey again, it would be too soon. How did you face the man who decapitated your mother? No. She wouldn’t thank him. She’d punch him in his stupid face. “You all have these stories and fantasies. Slap a funny name on it and expect people to buy into the mystique. I have my eyes, and I know what I saw.”
“Eyes can be deceived. But I’m not here to tell you what you should believe. You’ve seen for yourself what fantasies are out there. Fancy names or not, you know the truth.”
Sage pinched her eyes shut against the burn of tears that should have come, but she’d already spent them earlier. “I don’t know what truth is anymore.”
“Well, here’s a truth for you.” Ava cut her off sharply. “Out those doors, you are on your own. No one here will risk themselves to keep you alive. And you can bet your fate will run the same direction as your dearly departed mother.”
The elevator doors opened.
> Sage stared into the welcoming space, willing herself to take a step. One foot in front of the other. Leave now before you’re dragged back down the rabbit hole.
“You may have that mark. But it does not make you one of us,” Ava added. “That choice must be yours.”
Part of her wanted to understand. She had seen more in the last few days than she’d ever imagined. Things that blockbuster sci-fi movies were made of. But beyond the special effects, Sage felt in her gut that she was in the wrong place.
She walked into the elevator, pressed the button for the basement level, and finally allowed herself to look Ava in the eyes.
She expected anger or maybe even hatred, but though Ava’s tone cut her sharply with every word, what she saw in the director’s eyes was disappointment.
“I’m sorry.” Sage let the doors close.
EIGHTEEN
Determination carried her all the way home, but the moment she set eyes on her front door, Sage hesitated. She’d thought of nothing but the journey, saving no consideration for the destination or what kind of a shitstorm she’d be walking into. There were bound to be questions, and she didn’t have satisfactory answers even for herself.
Matt opened the door before Sage could get the key into the lock. The hard look on his face confirmed that he’d been waiting, worried. “Where the hell have you been…dressed like that?”
The look was starting to grow on her, but even she had to admit, disappearing for days and then returning wearing assassin’s leather and smudged makeup probably added a whole new level of crazy. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” Sage feigned a meek smile.
“First we’re going to discuss your wardrobe.” Matt pulled her into a bear hug, squeezing her so tight she felt as if she might pop. When he let go, she could see worry mixed with strain behind his eyes. “Then you’re going to explain why on earth you left me hanging on game night.”
“Dammit!” she gasped, re-inflating her lungs. Of all the nights to be trapped in fantasy land.
“Hard to raid the dragon’s keep without your entire team.” He taunted her with a mixed glare of teasing and anger. “Where the hell was my healer?”
“I’d have much rather been here, trust me,” Sage grumbled. She’d lived through a real raid during her time away, and that hadn’t gone as well as planned. Though thankfully, she’d made it out alive. Magic or no, resurrection was not a thing that happened in the real world. At least, she hoped not. Her memory flashed to the image of her mother turned dark. And in a split second, the vision shifted to the bloody pool at her feet, with her mother’s severed head lying just out of reach.
A shiver ran up her spine, and the resulting shudder made Mark look more concerned than he had moments before.
“Beer?” he asked, already on his way toward the fridge. It was code for Sit down, we need to talk. As an unwritten law between them, delivering bad news always had to come with a drink of some kind. Though lately she’d lost the benefit of alcohol’s numbing magic.
“Was the gang mad I couldn’t make it?” Sage asked, taking her seat at the table and hoping to steer the conversation away from what she’d just been through.
“Worried. With good reason.” Matt set two amber bottles down and popped the cap off each. “I know you’re going through a lot. I won’t downplay it.”
“I’m sor–”
“Let me finish,” he cut her off. “I’m here for you. No matter what, okay? A shoulder to cry on. Confidant. Unlicensed therapist… you know I have access to the good meds.” He winked in that adorable way that never failed to bring a smile to her face.
“If only you took my insurance.” She snickered.
Although he should have laughed too, Matt’s smile faltered and his expression turned serious. He scrutinized her as he prepared to launch straight into his real point. “Speaking of that… I opened your mail while you were gone.” He slid one of the beer bottles in front of her slowly. “Honey, why didn’t you tell me you lost your job?”
“I…” She’d forgotten about that, and scrambled with how to explain. So many other things had stolen her focus over the last few days that being laid off by her troll of a boss had been the least of her worries. “It was so sudden... Marcy…” Should she mention the shape-shifting boss, and how she’d screamed like a girl? Or maybe how she’d been accosted by a vampire and swept off to the secret agency of magical assassins? She’d sound utterly crazy talking about crap like that, and Matt already thought she’d gone off the deep end. True or not, any explanation she could offer would only confirm her psychosis. Maybe someday she could show him what she’d learned; but even then, how was she supposed to do that? She was magically neutral, or so she’d been told. Couldn’t use it. Could be affected by it. So what would she show him?
Matt stared at her as she fumbled for words, his jaw set tight, ready to lash out no matter what she said.
“Life just keeps taking one shit after another on me.” Sage sighed, throwing up her hands in defeat. “I don’t know what else to say.”
“Sorry, for starters!” he practically roared at her. “I half expected to find you lying in a ditch. Don’t you ever scare me like that again.” Tears glistened at the edges of his eyes, but his voice was pure rage. “I don’t care what’s happening.” He took a long swig of his beer. Sage recognized the maneuver, covering his face to hide the emotion and maintain the guise of manly aloofness. He’d chug the whole thing to give himself time to regain composure if that’s what it took.
And she felt completely deserving of his rage. She hadn’t meant to make him worry. She should have called or texted; given him some reason for her absence. It tugged at her heart to see him fighting to look strong. He deserved more respect than she’d given him. “I’m so sorry!”
“Where did you go?” he demanded, setting down his empty bottle. He wore the mask well enough, but behind those watery eyes she saw cracks in his stony exterior.
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” No truer words had been spoken, but she knew he’d demand a real answer, so before he could follow up, she added a few nuggets of vague truths. “I went for a walk. Stayed in a hotel. I was safe enough. I just needed to step outside of my life for a moment and see it from the outside, you know?”
“You could have called. You could have texted. I was worried sick, counting down the hours until I could file a missing person’s report.”
A dead phone was the lamest of all excuses, and Sage didn’t dare to use it. Matt deserved better than that. Phones were everywhere. She could have found some way to get a message to him. She’d thought of it while at ASSET, but with all the crazy going on around her, she hadn’t made the time to pick up the phone. His anger was more than justified. “You’re right. No excuse. I was an ass. How do I make this up to you?”
“I’ll think of something.” He reached across the table and grabbed her untouched beer, claiming it as his own.
“I mean it. I’m sorry. I’m having a really hard time dealing with Mom’s death. I didn’t realize how much it would screw me up. I’m a total jerk.”
“That I believe,” he scoffed.
“You’ve always been a momma’s boy.” She hoped a little good-natured ribbing might lighten his mood.
Matt set his bottle down and burped loud enough for the neighbors to hear. “Proud of it, too.”
Emotions bottled up like a knot in her throat. He didn’t know how lucky he was to have his parents alive and well, living only a few short miles away.
“Maybe we should go crash Sunday night dinner?” he offered, as the silence between them grew stale.
Tempting, but Sage didn’t think she could handle it. No matter how good a cook his mother was, it would only rub salt in the wounds. “I don’t think I–”
“You said anything.” He glared at her over the top of the beer bottle he was lifting to his lips.
“That’s not fair!”
“Nor was letting me think you were lying dead in a ditch,�
�� he countered.
“You jumped to conclusions.”
“You left me no reason not to. You’re not yourself. You’re freaking out over every little thing. You’re hiding things from me. We used to talk about everything. I get that losing your mom is hard. But there’s something else going on with you, Sage, and for whatever reason, you don’t want to tell me.”
“I need help. You’re right. I’m screwed in the head. And when I figure out which way is up, you’ll be the first to know. Okay?”
He rolled his eyes. “Sure, Sage.”
“And if it means that much…” She let out a deep sigh, knowing she’d regret it. “I’ll go to dinner at your parents’ house.”
“I’ll call them and let them know to expect us this weekend.” Matt’s smile looked forced. He stood up and cleared away both beer bottles, tossing them in the recycling bin as he headed toward his room.
“Where are you going?” she asked, confused at his sudden departure. He’d gotten what he wanted; why storm off in a tizzy?
“It’s my turn to leave you hanging.” Matt’s voice echoed slightly, as if reverberating off of the walls. “But don’t worry. I won’t stray far.” A moment later she heard the shower.
Matt being mad at her ranked up there with the other tragedies that had happened this week. Telling him about her little revelation would be the right thing to do for their friendship. But short of any tangible proof, what could she say? She needed real answers from someone she could speak to openly.
Sage headed into her bedroom, locked the door, and turned on the television for background noise. Not sure of how the conversation would go, she didn’t need Matt overhearing anything and getting the wrong idea. He was already mad enough as it was.
A Weapon Of Magical Destruction Page 13
