“I have something to discuss with the guards, Lara. Walk ahead if you’d like.” He waited for her answer and when she nodded, he turned and approached the guards patrolling the walls.
A taste of a freedom she no longer had, she thought as she walked away as fast as she could without appearing to be running. Not that she could escape him if she wanted to, but being alone here was a relief. She held the crispinette that covered her braided hair in place as she turned into the wind, but not even that slowed her pace. Breathing deeply, she allowed the winds that swept over these heights to push against her until she turned a corner and the winds were at her back.
Laughing, Lara continued her brisk speed, returning to where she’d left Sebastien much sooner than she wished. He was still speaking with the guards, so she resumed her path, not stopping until she reached the place farthest from him. There she stood and leaned over, looking at the boats that could be used to cross the firth or the loch. Many more than her father usually had, this was a small fleet at the ready for some use. Guards circled, protecting the boats from any attack—or sabotage?
Soon, as the sun dropped lower to the west, the winds turned colder and she began to shiver. Still, she would rather be cold than inside, so she did not leave the spot. Instead, she sat between two of the crenellations and closed her eyes.
“You are making my men nervous, lady.”
She opened her eyes and found Sebastien standing before her, holding a cloak. “How so, sir?”
“Your hurried pace and the way you dare to hang over the side of the walls.”
“This is my home, sir. I have climbed these walls from the time I was a child.” She realized it sounded as though she could climb down the two-score-and-five-feet-tall walls of stone. Well, she could, but that was not something he needed to know.
“Mayhap that was something better left unsaid?”
“Ah, you mistook my words, sir. I mean that I have walked this path all my life. I am quite comfortable moving around on these battlements.” She stood and stepped away from the edge, an action that placed her nearer to him.
“You are shivering now,” he said, moving closer still. “I brought this for you.”
He did not offer the cloak to her, instead reaching out to drape it around her shoulders. Tugging the ends together, he gathered them under her chin. That pulled her closer to him than she’d expected, but with such a hold, she could not move away. His nearness overwhelmed her and as he leaned his head down and gazed into her eyes, she knew he would kiss her.
When his lips were a scant inch from hers, he stopped and did not come any closer. She held her breath, knowing from their night together how this would feel, and trying to make her body not react to what it knew could happen. And from the way her heart pounded in her chest and the way her mouth went dry, apparently her body wanted it to happen again. Lara closed her eyes and fought the urge to cross the empty space and press her mouth to his. She remembered the touch of his lips on her…mouth and on other…Her traitorous body tightened in places better not thought about, and she shivered once more.
Then, Sebastien stepped away, allowing the ends of the cloak to dangle loosely. Lara searched his face for some explanation and fought the wayward desire that now spiraled within her. She stumbled a few steps back and turned away from his gaze. Did he know what his nearness did to her? Was seduction his plan all along? And she could not stop the errant and most dangerous thought of all—why had he stopped?
“My pardon, lady,” he said from behind her. “I did not mean to…” His words ceased, as though he did not know what to say. Lara turned back to him and the look of confusion in his expression calmed her somehow.
“I had sought to ease your fears and anxiety about our meal together, and now I can see I have simply made it worse with my lack of control.” He glanced over at the men near the stairway and then at her. “I have not finished my instructions to the guards. If you would join me in the solar when you are finished walking, I will give you some time here.”
Without waiting for her consent, he did indeed leave her there…alone. Lara pulled the cloak around her more tightly and walked back to the edge. Trying not to think about what had almost happened between them, she allowed the wind to soothe her before facing their next encounter.
Sebastien counted off each step he took away from her, clenching his fists against the urge to pull her into his arms and kiss her until she was breathless. Although he could deny the wisdom in doing such a thing, he could not deny how much he wanted to do exactly that…and more. Much, much more.
He truly had nothing else to speak to the guards about, so he left the battlements after indicating that the lady was to be allowed there. He ran down the steps, crossed through the hall and made his way to the solar. Everything was ready now and the servants, and Lara’s maid, met him with expectant gazes when he entered the room.
Sebastien sat down and asked for wine while he waited. Would she drag this out? Would she come back as he’d directed? Taking the first swallow of the wine, he hoped it would settle his stomach. Only a few minutes passed before he heard footsteps coming up the stairs toward the solar. Then she was there. He stood as she entered, and watched silently as she handed the cloak to her maid.
“Sir? If you please, I have need to return to my chambers for a brief time before we eat.”
He tried to discern if there was guile in this request, but could see nothing that indicated more or less than she’d asked for. Nodding his assent, he was curious when she whispered something to her maid before leaving. Whatever words she’d said caused the girl to blush and look away.
True to her words, Lara returned a few minutes later and, after sharing a glance with her maid, walked over and sat next to him at the table. Once she’d been served wine, he gestured to the servants and they began placing platters of roasted meats and fish before them. Sebastien had explained to them the foods he wanted served and how he wanted the meal to be done. As he’d ordered, the table was filled with a selection of her favorites, ones revealed to him by the old cook, whom he had kept on in the kitchens.
If she recognized them, she did not say, but her gaze moved from dish to dish, and every so often he noticed a smile on her lips. Once everything was in place, the servants bowed and left. Lara turned and seemed to stare at the closed door for a minute. He waited for her to turn back and face him.
“I hear that you have not been eating lately,” he began. “Your cook said these were some of your favorite dishes and I thought to entice you with them.”
“Thank you for your thoughtfulness, sir, but there is more than needed for only the two of us. Should we not invite Malcolm and Catriona to sup with us? I am certain Malcolm would be interested in discussing the fight he witnessed earlier.”
Sebastien could not help it—the laugh escaped before he could stop it. “They are eating elsewhere and are well cared for, lady.”
She worried her lower lip between her teeth and gazed at the dishes again. He lifted a platter of thick slices of beef to her. The succulent aroma made his own stomach grumble. He thought she might refuse, but then nodded in agreement. Placing a slice on the plate in front of him, he cut it into smaller pieces and offered them to her.
Sebastien watched as she scooped some onto her own plate and then skewered one with her eating dagger. There was a moment when she bit into the wellcooked and well-spiced meat that a look of satisfaction crossed her face. He wondered what that was about, but did not ask. Instead, he took samples from most of the dishes and placed them on her plate. She began to eat with enthusiasm, so he considered how he could begin their talk.
He waited for her to eat a substantial amount before starting. From watching her these last few weeks and from the questions he asked of those closest to her, he knew that when she was upset, she did not eat. So he knew that her visit to the chapel had not soothed her at all, and he wondered why not. Had it only been the incident in the yard that had distressed her?
S
ebastien reached over and refilled the goblet in front of her. “There is ale, if you prefer it.”
“Nay, the wine is quite good.” She sipped it. “Another gift from the Bruce?”
“The same. He gave us a keg of his favorite to…”
“To mark our wedding.” She finished the statement when he paused.
Now it was his turn to swallow deeply from his own cup. She’d mentioned it in a matter-of-fact manner. “Aye.”
“What else did he give you for marrying me? What honors were heaped on you for taking the enemy’s daughter as your wife? Or should I ask what offense you committed to be sentenced to such an arrangement?” Her blue eyes narrowed as she asked.
The sharp edge of sarcasm filled her voice and he answered in kind. “I gained no rich rewards or honors by our marriage. I but obeyed my king’s orders. We needed to secure the castle and the claim to the MacDougall’s lands and you were the means of that.” If such things were to come from the king, so be it; he need not confirm it to her yet.
She lost all color from her cheeks and he regretted immediately the harshness in his tone. Why did he allow her to goad him into this kind of exchange? He read her pattern of behavior clearly—that was one advantage of his years as a spy. Sebastien could watch individuals over a period of time and learn their secrets by what they did and how they did it.
Lara would be even more upset when she realized this about him. In spite of her efforts not to give away anything about herself, he’d already discovered many things about her.
She had an incredible amount of vigor and needed to have that force of life directed into usefulness or she got herself in trouble. She knew much more about her father and her clan’s battle plans than she wanted Sebastien to realize. And although she put on a brave and confident face, she suffered from an intense insecurity when it came to her own worth. Tales of how she constantly tried to achieve more than would be expected of a daughter, even the esteemed Maid of Lorne, had been shared with him.
The most important thing he’d discovered about her was something she’d revealed during their last few encounters. Lara used her anger as a shield when her fears were touched. When something or someone threatened to expose that timidity that she kept under tight control, she struck out like an angry bee—stinging the one who came too close. He’d learned that after feeling the stab himself.
“Come now, Lara. If you have questions, simply ask them of me and do not try to bait me to strike out at you in words or with my hands.”
He watched as she cleared her throat and thought on his words. Good, she was thinking before striking out again. He could teach her to trust him—it would just take time.
“What will you do with me now that I am not breeding?”
A momentary pang of regret filled him at this news. Ah, so that was what required her to visit her chambers before coming here, and what caused her maid to blush. “Your courses are…”
“Aye.” She glanced away and would not meet his gaze.
“Things will not always be as they are now, Lara. This place will not be your prison for much longer.”
“What do you mean? Will you put me aside, then? Or will your king intercede to end this marriage?”
“We face many uncertainties in these next months and years. The king has not yet announced his decision for the final disposition of MacDougall lands. I think it best to wait for his word in this.”
He knew so much more, but could not share it with her or anyone yet. Within a week, all would be made clear and everyone would know that their marriage was not some temporary arrangement to be cast aside when the king moved on from here in pursuit of his kingdom.
She stood and walked to the hearth, leaning over it silently for a short time. Then, she looked at him. “I am certain I know what your king wants in this, but tell me of Sebastien of Cleish and what he wants?”
He needed no time to think on his words. “First, I am a faithful vassal of my king, and second, a man who sometimes wants too much too quickly. But ‘tis the Bruce’s wishes that will decide the matter.”
Her eyes were haunted now, with some intangible emotion that he could not name. “You know your place. What is to become of me now that you and your king are here?”
“Mayhap if we begin by asking who is the Maid of Lorne and what does she desire?” He asked the question to her now and waited to hear the description she would choose—it would say much about her.
“I am a woman with no father and no family and no home to call her own. I am a woman who gave herself to her enemy. I am the Maid of Lorne no more.” Her voice shook in its desolation.
He stood and walked up behind her. Reaching out, he slipped his arm around her shoulders and drew her back against him. She stilled in his embrace, but did not pull away. Sebastien whispered in her ear.
“Do not despair, Lara. Many others have been in similar circumstances and survived, even made good lives of bad beginnings. The Bruce is a fair man and I trust his judgment in this matter.”
She did not move or acknowledge his words at all, so he released her and stepped back. “I must go on a mission for the king soon and will leave Hugh in charge of Dunstaffnage. No harm will come to you while he is in command here.”
The emptiness in her gaze unsettled him, and he acknowledged that he would rather face her anger or her confusion or any other emotion she could feel rather than this melancholy. How could he draw forth her anger?
“You asked what I want, Lara. What does Sebastien of Cleish want? I want you, Lara. I want to hold you and feel your body as it heats to my touch. I want you to open to me and I want to fill you with myself.”
She met his eyes and hers widened as she recognized the pure lust and wanting he was feeling at that moment. He took a step closer and she took one back. Finally, he reached across the gap between them, pulled her into his arms and kissed her the way he’d wanted to all night. Indeed, the way he’d wanted to since the night they were wed.
He slid his hands to each side of her head and held her still as his mouth claimed hers. He took advantage of her surprise to taste her deeply, to touch his tongue to hers and to press his mouth to hers, over and over again. He stared into her eyes until she closed them. Sebastien felt her hands come up onto his wrists as though she would stop him, but she did not.
And she did not pull away from him or his kisses.
Soon they were both out of breath from the intensity of his plundering. He leaned away and slid his hands down her neck and over her shoulders. He grazed her breasts with the backs of his fingers as they moved down to grasp hers. The shudder that moved through her stirred him even more.
“We do not have to be enemies, Lara. We can be husband and wife, man and woman.”
As though opening the shutters in a dark room, his words pierced through the seduction he wove around her, and brought her to herself. Not even a day had passed since her cousin had accused her of whoring with the enemy, and she stood her ready to give herself over to his passions.
“If you die in the service of your king, I will be wife to the enemy no more,” she said, wiping her hand over her mouth to remove any taste of him. “As you said, things will not always be as they are now, but I will always be a MacDougall, while you remain a nameless bastard serving an upstart who thinks he should be king.”
Lara threw out the insult and waited for his reaction, dreading it and yet praying for it at the same time. She had listened to the gossip of the servants since their capture. She had discovered this weakness even as he probed for hers. Now, when she felt unable to resist him and his appeal, she had ruthlessly used it to force some room between them.
And it worked.
As she watched, his face transformed into the warrior she’d faced from the battlements that first day. His green eyes grew cold and distant, and she could see him wrapping his control around himself even as she pushed her righteous anger forward as her shield.
“I think it would be best if you retired, lady,” he
said, breaking the silence. “Seek your chambers now.” He strode to the door and pulled it open with such force that it crashed against the wall after slipping from his grasp.
Margaret and his man Hugh jumped to their feet and stared in at them. Surprised to see them together and obviously in each other’s company, Lara censured her maid with a warning glance. Apparently, Margaret was suffering from the same weakness that her lady was damned by—an attraction to the enemy. Taking her arm, Lara pulled her away and up the stairs to her room to safety.
“I cannot tell if you are feeling victorious or not.”
Sebastien stood back and allowed Hugh entrance to the solar. His friend immediately sat at the table and began picking food off the plates still there. Although the dishes were now chilled, Hugh did not hesitate to taste all he could. Too many days and nights without food trained warriors to eat when food was available. After allowing his anger to dissipate, Sebastien closed the door and joined Hugh at the table. Choosing a joint of rabbit that had been braised in a rich broth, he tore off and passed to his friend a chunk of bread to use on the juices. They dipped the bread, chewed it thoroughly and swallowed, almost in unison. “Indeed, Hugh. I do feel the victor in this.”
“From the expression on her face, the lady does not feel the same way.” Hugh poured wine into both goblets and drank from the nearest one. “I would hide my sword, if I were you, and not leave it within her reach. You might be missing some body parts that are best kept, if you take my meaning?”
Sebastien laughed then, confident in the results of the encounter with his wife. “As you will be if she discovers your attentions to her maid.” Hugh flinched at his words. “There is not much that goes on here that I do not know about, friend. Have a care if you only dally with the lass.”
Holding out the goblet, Hugh offered a mock salute. “So what did you learn?”
The Maid of Lorne Page 8
