But no one was more painful to watch than Sebastien. He dealt with the boy’s death by ignoring it and carrying on each day as though nothing had changed. Once, when he seemed to forget, and called out Philippe’s name for some task, Lara ran crying from the room at the pain of it. He spoke not of it, to her nor to anyone, as much as she could tell, and she carried her grief and guilt in her heart.
Lara was able to learn the details of the raid that turned into a battle through a series of people. Sebastien gave a report of it to Hugh, who in turn shared some of it with Margaret. Then, Margaret gave her an account that made Lara’s blood run cold in her veins.
When Sebastien stood frozen over Philippe’s body, frozen in shock and grief, her cousin and his men had surrounded him and taunted him over the death. They’d taunted him with the treachery that had led to it, and promised they would take back Dunstaffnage and all that was theirs. It was only the quick action of James Douglas that had saved Sebastien’s life and turned the battle into a complete rout. Screaming for vengeance, he’d become the Black Douglas that everyone feared, and had led the king’s forces to victory.
Margaret whispered that none were left alive when they were done. Only a handful had escaped into the mountains surrounding the keep on the River Creran. Lara suspected that Eachann had survived, even if he had had to sacrifice others to insure his own safety and escape.
Sebastien finally came back to their bed after nearly a week of not sleeping, or sleeping elsewhere, but he was changed. Only once had he turned to her in that bed and made love to her, with a desperation that frightened her. Other than that, he kept his grief completely within himself. Even when word came of the Earl of Ross’s surrender to the king at the end of October, it did not seem to lighten his spirits or his grief.
Truthfully, Lara knew not what to say or what to do. There was so much guilt inside her that she thought of making a confession to him. Perchance she could explain why she had done what she had, and he could forgive her? One look at his expression that day told her of her folly.
But, when her courses did not come for the second month in a row, Lara knew that she must do something, she simply knew not what. The furtive delivery of a sealed parchment to her by a man she did not know took the decision out of her hands.
Chapter Twenty-One
Lara carried the letter for more than three hours before finding the courage and a safe place to read it. Huddled in one corner of the storage rooms, she broke the seal and opened it. Once past the greetings her father wrote, his message struck fear into the very core of her.
Her role had been discovered and the king’s men were on their way to Dunstaffnage to arrest her for treason. The only way to avoid it was to follow her father’s instructions and escape with the children before the men arrived.
Her hands shook so badly she could scarcely read the words. She tried to steady herself and comprehend the instructions in the letter, but the terror of being found out and turned over to the king’s justice made it impossible.
For a moment she allowed herself to believe that she could go to Sebastien and tell him the truth and beg for his mercy and his protection. She laughed at her folly—he was faithful first to Robert the Bruce and he would never stand between the king and a traitor, especially not one who could have prevented Philippe’s death with but a word of warning.
She read the letter again. A distraction would take Sebastien’s attention just before sunset, and that would be her chance to get Malcolm and Catriona and take them to the chapel. Someone would meet them and bring them to her father and safety. She should not delay in leaving, and bring nothing with her but the clothes she wore.
Lara stood and collected her thoughts. This was the only way out for her now. Once Sebastien knew the truth of her actions, he would abandon her, anyway. Even if what she suspected was true and not a result of the constant emotional strain on her these last weeks, he would never want a child from her. Once away, and when the truth became obvious, she would figure out a way to raise the child herself. The irony that his child might grow up as he had, fatherless, struck her, but she forced that aside for now. If she did not leave, her life would be forfeit.
Knowing her path at last, she left the storage rooms and returned to the north tower. Seeking the children, she stayed close to them so that she could move quickly when the time came.
She did not let herself dwell on the pain of leaving Sebastien behind. Once with her father, she would write to him and try to explain everything. And she would never see him again.
“Fire! Fire!”
The screams began just as the sun sank low in the west, and were joined by more calls and warnings. Lara ran to the window and was aghast to see that the storage rooms were on fire. As men ran to save what they could and others brought buckets of water, she grabbed her cloak and the children’s from hooks by the door of the solar.
“Come, Malcolm. Cat. We must leave the castle now.”
Malcolm would have fought it, but she told him of the fire and that they must leave before it spread. She took their hands and led them down the steps, through the hall and toward the gate. Everyone was so involved with fighting to keep the fire from spreading that no one noticed them. They were through the gate and past the barracks in a short time.
She hurried the children down the path and inside the chapel and pulled the door closed. They did not have much time before someone would be there to take them to their father. She’d followed the instructions, but the heaviness in her heart made it difficult to walk away from her home…and from Sebastien. There would be time for regrets and contemplation later. For now, Lara made certain the door was secure, and then turned.
Sebastien stood before her. Her heart leaped at the sight of him.
“Lara, you must not do this,” he said.
“What do you mean? Do what, my lord?” She clasped her hands to slow their trembling as she stood before the man she was about to betray for the last, and worst, time.
“Wait,” he ordered her. Then he crouched down before Malcolm and Catriona and spoke to them. “Malcolm, you must take your sister back to the keep and wait for me there. It is safe now, the fire is nearly out. Do you understand? Follow the path and none will stop you until you come to the gates and find Sir Hugh.”
“Malcolm, you must stay with me,” Lara argued.
“I have given my word to protect you and your sisters, Malcolm. Do you believe me?” Sebastien waited for her brother’s answer. She held her breath.
“Aye, my lord,” the boy whispered.
“Then go now and follow my instructions.” Malcolm looked at her with sad but resolute eyes. “You have my word, Malcolm,” Sebastien repeated, when the lad would have wavered.
“Malcolm…”
“Lara, they must remain here at Dunstaffnage,” Sebastien explained, in such a calm, rational voice that it made her want to scream. “Malcolm, do you stand by your word?”
“Aye, my lord,” he answered softly, all the while his sad eyes meeting hers. He reached out and took Catriona’s little hand in his and tugged her along to the door. “Farewell, Lara.”
She had to look away or else she feared changing her mind as well. Sebastien led them outside and directed them on their way. Then he came back in and closed the door once more. He stood before her and just stared at her.
“Why, Lara? Why?”
“My father offered me a chance to return to my clan,” she said, but the words rang untrue even as they left her lips. Giving up any attempt to mislead him, she shook her head. “How long have you known?”
“That you are one of the spies in Dunstaffnage? I suspected a connection for several weeks, but I knew for a certain just before Glen Gour. I knew before the battle when Phillippe was killed.”
Ah, the darkest time in her life. The death of a child, his blood on her hands and marked on her heart forever.
“I did not mean for him to die, Sebastien. You must believe me,” she pleaded, but he interrupted
before she could offer any excuses.
“Who did you think would die, then? How many of my men, who you sat at table with, have you sent to their deaths? How many of your own clan died because of Eachann’s use of the information you passed to him?” He stepped toward her and grabbed her by the arms. “What did you think would happen?”
“I thought you would leave!” she cried out. “Eachann said that if he…we…made things difficult that the king would give up Dunstaffnage and move on. He always has before. The Bruce does not have a standing army.”
Sebastien’s eyes were filled with disappointment as he watched her. “And now? What do you do now? Where were you taking the children?”
“I must leave.” She said the words with as much conviction as she could. “My father sent word that the king’s men are on their way to arrest me. You are not the only one, it seems, who knows of my treachery. I know that you cannot stand for me to the king, so I must accept my father’s offer of escape.”
“And when did you come to me and ask for my help? When did you come to me and tell me the truth?”
“When I asked you who you were, do you remember what you told me? How you defined yourself?” He frowned at her. “‘First, I am a faithful vassal to my king,’ you said. I could not ask you to forsake your honor for me, not when the charges are true.”
“Lara—” he began.
“Nay, Sebastien, there is no other way for me. My father is regaining—”
“Nothing,” he said, interrupting her. “I swear to you, Lara, that your father will not possess Dunstaffnage again while Robert is king. With the taking of Dunstaffnage and Invercreran, the Comyns, the MacDougalls and their allies have been crushed. Now, with the Earl of Ross pledged to him, the only enemies that remain are Edward’s forces.” Sebastien took her hand in his. “You must stay here, Lara. It will not be safe for you to go if Eachann is there.”
“But you know what I am. You know that I have been spying on you as your enemy. Surely you cannot promise my life or even my safety once your king discovers the truth.”
“I swore to protect you, Lara. That pledge still stands.”
“You will never trust me again, Sebastien. We both know that. And any love you felt for me is surely gone now that you know the truth.”
“I told you that I have known the truth for some time. I knew when you finally gave yourself to me that you were a spy.”
Lara felt the heat in her cheeks. He’d told her that they would both recognize the moment when she declared to him, and they had. Unfortunately, her sins were so great that they could not be forgiven. Not by him with his honor. Most likely not even by the Almighty.
“I do love you, Lara. Do not run this time. Give me your trust and let me find a way for both of us.”
“Ah, but you see? That is the problem. There is no way out if I stay here. Your honor will demand that you turn the spy over to your king. You will have no choice.” She stepped back from him. “This way, you can disavow me. Let me take the children, for Robert will seek vengeance on them for both my and my father’s acts. Let us go now before it is too late.”
“It is already too late if you love me.” He faced her and asked her again. “Do you love me, Lara?” He held his hand out to her, as he had so many times before, and waited for her answer.
She spied the movement in the shadows too late to warn him. With one blow to his head, Eachann laid him low. Lara began to scream, but her cousin stopped her with his hand over her mouth.
“Yer pardon for interrupting such a touching scene, Lara. Yer father waits offshore for us and we dinna have much time to reach him before the alarm is raised.”
Jerking herself free, she fell to her knees next to Sebastien and lifted his head from the floor. Blood streamed from the wound on the back of his skull and he did not move.
“Why did you have to kill him?” she cried.
“He is not dead, but we shall be if we stay,” Eachann said as he wrapped his hand around her arm and pulled her away. “We go now.” He pushed her toward the altar and, after placing something inside Sebastien’s tunic, he followed her.
When they reached the altar, he walked to the far corner and pressed a certain place on the stone wall. The door she’d never seen open swung back and, after lighting a torch, he stepped in first and waved for her to follow. The damp, fetid air in the low corridor made her nauseous. She covered her nose and mouth with the edge of her cloak and tried to stay with Eachann.
It took almost a quarter hour to traverse the tunnel. Once they reached the end, he lit a small, covered lantern there and extinguished the torch. Pushing on the wall, Eachann pulled her out the tunnel and along a rocky path. They were in one of the caves on the firth, to the southwest of the castle.
Eachann motioned for her to stay back as he stepped out cautiously and surveyed the beach. Was he looking for guards? Then he lifted the lantern, uncovered it, and waved it to and fro for nearly a minute before lowering it and stepping back inside the protection of the cave.
Numbed by what had happened between her and Sebastien and then Eachann’s attack, Lara slid down on the floor and began to shake uncontrollably. Her cousin eyed her with amusement on his face. He stood watch at the edge of the cave until he whispered her name a short while later.
Eachann lifted her to her feet and wrapped his arm around her waist. It was then Lara noticed a small boat coming to shore. Her cousin tugged on her arm and they ran from the cave, down the beach to the water’s edge. He handed her into the craft and pushed it back into the water, climbing in as it moved away.
The boat bobbed about in the waves, and Lara’s stomach rebelled. Three times she was forced to hang over the side of the small vessel as nausea gripped her. The cold water terrified her, and she clung to the side, closing her eyes and offering a prayer for Sebastien’s safety. She did not ask for herself, for she deserved whatever suffering she got.
The journey to her father’s ship took a long time, and she was exhausted by the time she was handed up to him. Instead of a warm welcome, he simply nodded to her and directed her to a place on deck where she could sit. Puzzled, she watched as he and Eachann exchanged words and laughed together. The glances they threw her way made her nervous.
Finally, the ship moved into smoother waters and she fell asleep, huddled under a blanket on the deck. Some time later, as dawn broke over the water, she was awakened by harsh whispers.
“Does she know?” her father asked.
“Nay. She believes that she is the one they came for.”
“Eachann, this is working better than I had hoped. She is here believing that we saved her. The bastard is left behind and the king’s men have the proof that he is the spy. His honor and sworn oath will prevent him from ever admitting she is the guilty one.”
“Aye, Uncle. The king will execute him and our path will be clear. And the children?”
“Another way to guarantee his silence—if the Bruce believes him to be the spy, he will not take action against either of them. And the letter left on him will implicate the bastard even more.”
They laughed again and Lara tried not to open her eyes.
“When will she be mine?”
“In good time, Eachann. In good time.”
“I would like just a sample of what will be mine, Uncle. Let me have her just once and let me tell her the truth. Ye can watch if ye like.”
Though revolted by his words, Lara could do nothing, lest it give away the fact that she listened. Her father did not want her back. She was his means to destroy Sebastien and, ultimately, the Bruce. And the thought that he would give her over to Eachann, knowing the disgusting things he wanted to do to her, turned her stomach again. The sound of flesh striking flesh drew her attention. Daring a peek, she realized that her father had punched Eachann in the face.
“Nay, Eachann. She has her uses in my plans before she is yours, and I will not have her damaged before then. She is the key and the safeguard. Once the bastard is executed, sh
e is yours for whatever uses you wish.”
Eachann backed away from her father, and Lara pulled the blanket tighter around her. Knowing the truth—that her escape trapped Sebastien and that he would protect her because of his honor—Lara knew she must get away from them. But how? On the sea, she was at their mercy, and she knew not where they were talking her. She decided that she must wait and watch and come up with some plan. Sebastien told her that a spy always has a contingency plan. She offered up a prayer that she could come up with one now.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“Tell us, traitor, what did you gain from your treachery?”
The man questioning him backhanded him again, and Sebastien struggled to remain upright. With his arms bound behind him, it was difficult. When he did not answer, the man punched him in the stomach, and as he bent over from the force of it, punched him in the face again. That blow landed him on the floor, and as he fought to take a breath, a kick followed and then another until he lost consciousness.
He was still on the floor when he woke. Blood poured from his nose and from the wound on his head, and he could not feel his hands. He thought at least one rib was broken, possibly more, making it difficult to breathe.
He lifted his head and looked around. They’d thrown him in the cell that faced the firth. The large barred opening allowed both wind and rain in, and so he was bloodied and cold and wet. Sebastien could not tell how long he’d been there. The same rain that pelted him now had put out the fire in the storage rooms. He’d known the blaze was a distraction when he’d seen it. Leaving the tower, he’d rushed to the chapel because he knew it would be the only way she could get away.
Sebastien knew that Eachann must have crept up behind him and hit him. When he awoke there, she was gone and the doorway, the one he could never find, stood open, as if glaring at his stupidity. He did not bother to follow, for he knew it must lead to the shore, and that they were long gone.
The Maid of Lorne Page 21
