“I’m going to go up and see what he’s up to,” I said to Birdman over the noise of the party.
He nodded. “Good idea.”
I squeezed my way out of the overfull room that was surely bordering on a health and safety violation, and hurried up to our dorm.
I swung around the doorframe to Alex’s room. He was sitting on his bed with his phone in his hands.
“Hey, there you are,” I said and he looked up.
“Hey.”
“Everyone’s missing you downstairs.”
He nodded. “Just had to report back to the family.”
I walked in and sat next to him. “I’m proud of you.”
He looked at me, a small smile at his lips. “Thanks, E.”
I bumped him. “I’m serious. I heard you were good, but you were good. And I know absolutely nothing about swimming,” I said as though I was a complete authority.
He laughed. “It meant a lot you were there. Again.”
I shrugged. “That’s what friends do, right?”
I put my arms around him and gave him a hug. He just seemed like he needed a hug. Based on the way he hugged me back, my assumption had been correct.
“You good?” I asked him.
His nose was in my neck and it was giving me goosebumps. I felt myself lean into him more, and him into me. Then, we were pulling away, him giving my temple a kiss on the way past.
But, when we were looking at each other, our arms didn’t drop. Alex’s had one hand on my waist and the other rested on my leg. I had one arm around his neck and my other hand was on his chest. Our eyes search each other’s faces as though committing them to memory.
“Lottie?” he asked quietly.
“Yeah, Alex?”
My eyes darted down as he licked his lip, then I was kissing him. Or he was kissing me. Kissing was occurring. Unlike after his brother’s wedding, this wasn’t the briefest of tiny kisses. Sweet though that had been, this was something else entirely.
This was hungry.
This was heated.
This was full of all the words I wouldn’t – or couldn’t – say.
He still smelled vaguely of chlorine, lingering despite his shower and liberal application of deodorant. He was warm. Sure. Secure. Safe.
In that moment, I forgot we were just friends with definitely no benefits.
That moment seemed like the most perfect place to be.
Alex’s hand tightened on my hip and mine slid into his hair.
“Alex! Alex! Alex!” came the chant from the living room.
Alex and I pulled apart slowly, returning to some semblance of normal just before Zac and Fret barrelled into his room.
“There you guys are!” Fret shouted excitedly.
“There is a party downstairs with your name on it,” Zac announced. “And by party, I mean cake.”
Fret elbowed him. “And he can’t eat any until you show your ugly mug.”
“He also can’t.”
“Hence, hurry up!” Fret said, throwing his arms in the air as Zac came to haul Alex off the bed.
“Uh, I…” Alex said, looking at me.
So many unsaid things rushed between us. So many things that I couldn’t – or wouldn’t – let myself think.
“No time for dawdling, ‘cos you are the champion…of the pool!” Fret sang as he started pulling Alex out of the room.
“But, Lottie–” Alex started.
“Is coming, too,” Zac promised, holding his hand out for me.
Alex’s eyes were pleading for me to come with or come up with an excuse for him to stay and for them to go without us.
He wanted to talk.
I didn’t.
What would I even say?
‘Sorry I can’t keep my lips off you. I’m the worst just-friend ever’?
“I’ll be there in a second,” I said to them.
“Lottie!” Alex called as Zac and Fret hauled him out of there.
I wasn’t just a second.
Unless you count the time it took for me to get to my room and close the door behind me.
Chapter Twenty-Five
I avoided Alex for as long as I could.
I could no longer deny it. I liked him. As in more than a friend liked him. As in, I’d kissed him twice and would quite like to do it again. A lot.
Having lost the ability to reject this notion any longer, I wasn’t quite sure how to act around Alex anymore. My brain stopped and didn’t know what to say when he asked me simple things like ‘What do you want to watch?’ or ‘You need another cup of tea?’ No answer seemed like one that wouldn’t give my secret up.
I remembered what Alex had said about secrets. How it was difficult to keep them in close quarters. Well, this was one secret I’d take to my grave if I had to. Further than that, even.
Except for two kisses, Alex had showed no signs of reciprocating my feelings, so I laboured under the assumption that he still just wanted to be friends. Whether he thought benefits could be included now or not, I didn’t know, but I sure as hell wasn’t interested in that sort of deal with him.
So, I just had to work through this weird little crush I’d developed. It would go away with time. Surely. Then we could go back to being just friends again.
My friend, though, had other ideas.
It was impossible to avoid him completely, especially when he started staking out the living room anytime he thought I was likely to pass through it. And that day was no exception.
“Lottie!” Alex said.
I gave him a nod and tried my best to hurry to my room as fast as I could while looking as casual as possible. My knee hit a side table, which gave Alex the time he needed to leap over the couch and block the door to my room.
“All right,” Alex said in a ‘brook no argument’ voice. I’d never heard him sound so cool, calm, confident, authoritative and serious. “This is stupid.”
I looked up at him. “What’s stupid?”
He scoffed, “What’s stupid?” He paused for a second. “What’s stupid? Elliott, really?”
If he was pulling out the full names, I could do that too. And play dumb with the best of them. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Sasha, but I have homework I need to do.”
“Your homework can wait. We need to talk.”
“About what?”
“You know what about. This whole thing is ridiculous. We have to talk about it. I’m not going to let a couple of maybe misguided kisses ruin one of my best friendships.”
I blinked. “Misguided?”
He nodded. “Look. I get it. Lines blur. It doesn’t have to mean anything, that’s okay. We can just put it down as tried and move on. You mean too much to me not to work this out.”
I was suddenly inexplicably angry with him. Or with me. Maybe with both of us. “You don’t get it do you? You in this ivory tower where nothing touches you.” I pushed him in my frustration, but knew it wasn’t his fault. “It’s already ruined. I ruined it. I broke my promise.”
Now Alex was blinking. “What? What promise?”
My hand went to push him again, but ended up just lying on his chest. “I broke my promise. I…” I owed it to him to look him in the eye when I smacked that final nail in the coffin. “I like you, Alex. I’m sorry. I broke my promise and I fell for you anyway. And I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you since… You know. I just couldn’t…” I petered off as he’d started laughing.
One of his hands curled around mine on his chest as his laughter burbled through him.
“Yeah. All right,” I muttered self-consciously. “I know I’m an idiot.” I tried to extricate my hand from his, but he held it tightly.
I finally looked up at him and his other hand brushed over my cheek. “I’m not laughing because you’re an idiot. I’m laughing because… Well, we’re both idiots. You’re not the only one who ruined it and broke your promise. I broke my promise, too, E.”
It took me a good few seconds to work out what he was saying there. Him saying what I thought he was saying just didn’t compute. He was the guy who never fell. He was the guy who protected his heart against anything and everything like his very life depended on it.
“I like you, too, Lottie,” he said softly. “Like, like like you. I couldn’t help it. I don’t even know when it happened. One minute we were friends, the next I was trying to convince myself I didn’t really want more.”
“But you do?”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
“You want more with the future swamp witch?”
He smiled and took a step towards me. “Future swamp witches can’t have kept men?”
“Oh, kept men,” I laughed. “You’re not planning on doing any work then?”
He shrugged. “Of course I will, but making and selling wine is hardly going to be as important as whatever you decide to do.”
“Flattery might get you everywhere, Sasha,” I warned him.
He laughed.
“Besides,” I added, “don’t try that on with my mum. Pretty sure she thinks making and selling wine is more important. Especially selling it to her.”
“Girlfriend’s mum doesn’t have to pay.”
“You haven’t seen how much my mum can drink.”
“I’m willing to risk it.”
We just stood and looked at each other for a moment.
“Girlfriend?” I finally asked him.
He huffed self-consciously and ran his hand through his hair. “Uh, yeah. Maybe. I hope. If you want?”
“Is that what you want?” I asked him.
He smiled softly. “I’ve spent enough proper time with you to know I like you, Lottie. To know that I want to spend a lot more time with you.”
“What happened to the guy who was worried about Birdman breaking my heart so I never talked to any of you again?”
“Ah. If you recall, I’m also the guy who believes life is for living and risks are for taking. Besides I was jealous and just really didn’t want you to hook up with him.”
“You were jealous?”
He nodded. “I like you enough to risk our friendship, Lottie. I like you that much. The optimist in me just really hopes that, if it doesn’t work out, we can be civilised about it.”
“What are we? Seventeen going on thirty?” I teased him.
He smiled. “What do you think?”
What did I think? I’d thought it was just me. I’d thought I’d just gone and ruined our friendship and broken our promise. I thought things were just going to be a bit awkward until I got over it, but I was willing to work through the awkwardness because, as much as I liked him, I didn’t want to lose him. If we could get through a couple of presumed embarrassing kisses and love like believed unrequited, then…
I had to hope we could get through anything.
Maybe it was wishful thinking because I really wanted to give us a go. Maybe it was his never-ending optimism rubbing off on me. Or maybe it was actually possible.
I was going to go with hope.
“I think I agree,” I finally said to him. “I think I want to be your girlfriend.”
He grinned as his hands went to my waist and we took a step closer to each other.
“Yeah?” he asked, his forehead resting on mine.
I nodded against him. “Yeah.”
Our lips got closer as I suddenly thought of something.
“No!” I said quickly, my hand on his chest.
“No?” he asked, sounding confused and hurt.
“The formal!”
“What about it?” He shrugged. “It’ll be easy for me to get a tie to match your dress.”
I shook my head. “No. The guys. We said we were going stag.”
“So?”
I shoved him gently. “So, Fret cancelled on Kayla because you insisted. You can’t then turn around with a date.”
“Who said I wanted to go with you anyway?” he teased.
I smirked. “Oh, so now you don’t want to go to the formal with your girlfriend?”
He laughed. “Maybe I don’t.”
“We can’t tell them, yet.”
“What? Why not?”
“Because they’ll feel like…” I did some quick Maths in my head and it got too complicated. “All the extra wheels.”
Alex’s face suddenly dropped all humour. “Will they?”
“Won’t they? It’ll be hard to convince them we’re not going to the formal together if they know we’re dating. I don’t want to ruin our plans.”
Alex nodded. “Okay. True. Maybe. So, we wait until after to tell them?”
I nodded. “Yeah. Okay. Sounds good.”
Alex opened his mouth, paused, held up a finger and said, “Does that mean I’m not allowed to kiss you now?”
I smiled. “You can kiss me now.”
He gave me one of his infectious smiles. At least, it would have been infectious had I not already been beaming myself.
This time, our kiss was warm and sunny and made me think that fireworks might really exist. Our arms were around each other and I wasn’t worried about what it meant or if we were ruining our friendship. I just leant into it, into him.
He made me feel all the warm and fuzzy feelings inside.
He made my heart flutter and my tummy tie itself in excitable knots.
But he also made me laugh.
He made me happy.
He made me want to trust and love blindly.
We could share jokes and movies and ice cream.
We could sit in perfect silence, on opposite ends of the room, and I was grateful he was there.
With him, I didn’t care about social interaction. I could spend every hour of every day with him and not get tired of it. Well, almost.
Part of me was wary about what would happen with my new-found friends if this didn’t work. But I could easily ignore it because I didn’t think my roommate was a mistake at all.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Week eight and the formal was finally here. Alex, at least, was excited. I thought it was a little bittersweet since I was moving into one of Callistemon House’s newly renovated dorms before the end of term.
I wasn’t looking forward to being in a new place all over again, especially potentially by myself, but there was also a massive difference between rooming with your friend and your boyfriend.
Alex kissed my neck and I pushed him away.
“They’ll be here any minute,” I hissed.
He laughed. “So?”
“So we’re pretending we’re not dating because you convinced them all to go stag with us. This is not a date, Sasha, therefore hands off.”
He held his hands up with a laugh. “All right. Dating five minutes and you’re already bossing me around.”
As I put in my earring, I looked at him. “It’s been more than five minutes, and I’ve always bossed you around.”
He nodded in agreement. “Fair.”
“Now, go away and let me finish getting dressed.”
He looked me over critically. “Dress. Shoes. Hair. Makeup. Aren’t you done yet?”
I heaved a sigh of exasperation and ushered him out of the bathroom. “Begone before I burn you with the straightener,” I said as I brandished it at him.
He burst into chuckles and I closed the door on him.
We’d always had the unspoken rule that a closed door meant ‘bugger off’, while an open door meant ‘you can come in and do other open door related activities’. Thus far, it only included teeth brushing and hair styling, and I was in no rush to add anything else to that list.
By the time I felt done, the boys were lounging in the living room in their tuxes.
“Wahey!” Zac cried when he saw me. “And you said you didn’t scrub up nice.”
I swished my skirts in a rare display of coquettish playfulness. “I turned out okay.”
&n
bsp; “Okay?” Birdman scoffed. “You look beautiful, Lottie.”
“You think so?” I asked, not one to scrounge for compliments but totally one to beg for reassurance that I wasn’t hallucinating.
Birdman nodded. “I think so.”
“Me too,” Fret said.
“Lovely,” Luke agreed.
“I think ‘wahey’ covered it best,” Zac added and we all laughed.
“Shall we crack on?” Alex asked, looking at me with a smile in his eyes.
I felt like the belle escorted to the ball by five strapping, dapper lads. I’m pretty sure that’s what I looked like as well. Not that anyone was about to think I’d collected myself a harem of athletic lovers or anything. Not after seeing me hang out with them for most of the year.
As we walked into the Hall – reserved for full-school assemblies and fancy functions like formals – we had our picture taken as a group, me in the middle as one of the shortest.
The Green and Grey was a sit-down dinner event, so we found our table. Conveniently, Kayla and a couple of her friends were also at our table. I looked at Birdman.
“Did you do that?”
He shrugged. “I may have known someone who could swing it.”
“Oo, you’ve got people for everything, do you?”
“Need to kill a man?” he asked. “I know a guy.”
I snorted. “Sure, Mr Bond.”
He and I shifted the name cards on the table so that Fret and Kayla were sitting next to each other, then sat back and watched as they thought it was a coincidence.
As I watched them talking, I thought of something. “You know, you never told me why he’s call Fret.”
Alex laughed as he sat next to me. “You want to tell it?” he asked Birdman. “Or, shall I?”
“You do it.”
“Right,” Alex said. “So, in Year 8, we’re all these little piddly things. Rock up for Day 1. Don’t know anyone. We’ve got PE. Somehow a bird gets into the locker room where we’re all changing. No one wants to admit it’s kinda of scary, with it all swooping and flapping and shit. Anyway, this tiny little dude with this squeaky arse voice goes, ‘Don’t fret!’. The whole room packs out laughing and the legend of ‘Fret’ is born.”
“What happened to the bird?” I asked.
the Roommate Mistake Page 17
