by Amy Field
“And is that what you want?” Emma asked her sister, worried that she was only going through with this to make her husband happy. She knew the scripture spoke distinctly to a wife obeying her husband and pleasing him, but she still believed that there ought to be some compromise. Knowing how much Michael loved her sister, she knew he wouldn’t force her to do anything that she wasn’t comfortable with. It was one of the reasons she respected him and his opinion.
“I want this, Emma,” Elsie replied, taking her hand in hers and squeezing it with reassurance. “I’ve always wanted more children but then we were only blessed with one. We were okay with that. However, seeing you pregnant reminded me how much I wanted to give Michael a litter of children. It is what I want – what we both want.”
Emma hugged her sister as the two continued to share a quiet moment.
“I pray to God it all works out for you, Elsie,” she whispered against her cheek before they parted and joined the group of women chatting up a storm.
After the meal, Brandon took her on a ride around the town. He stopped at a little meadow and took out a small basket and blanket.
“Would you care to join me for a little evening snack?” he asked her. She felt flattered by his charm and graciously accepted it. Coming to a small apple tree, Brandon lay out the blanket and helped her to sit. When he sat, he revealed the contents of the basket and Emma felt her mouth begin to salivate at the different delicacies on display.
Even though they had eaten only two hours before she felt rather peckish. She supposed she could attribute it to her pregnancy. Over time she realized that her appetite had opened up considerably and she began to crave sweet things more than she ever had.
“This looks delicious,” Emma said. She received a satisfied grin from Brandon. As soon as he offered her a small dish with the pastries she dug in as if she had not eaten for days. The burst of tastes assaulting her senses made her moan in pleasure and she noticed Brandon watching her intently. Her cheeks became scarlet as she became embarrassed by the sounds coming from her throat. She quickly turned her face as she put down the plate.
“I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. It’s just that you looked so happy when you were eating just now and I became fascinated by it,” he confessed in an apologetic voice. “Please eat; I won’t disturb you further,” he implored.
For the rest of their time in the meadow they had light conversation about Brandon’s home back in Ohio, their views on the rules of the church, and anything else that came to mind. Everything was quite comfortable until he asked her an uncomfortable question – one she wasn’t ready to answer.
“Emma,” he started, capturing her attention. “I noticed that all the dresses you have been wearing are black.” At his mention of her all black attire she stiffened.
“I know it is a sign of you mourning your husband’s death. I was wondering if it means that as soon as you start wearing other colors will it mean that you are ready to think more seriously about marriage,” he finished.
It was true that widows usually wore black to signify that they were mourning. Would she ever not be mourning her dead husband? It was a reasonable question, but not one she had the answer for at the moment.
“The look on your face tells me that you have not thought much about this,” he pondered. “It’s okay, though. I can wait,” he finished with a determined smile.
They remained silent for the rest of the time, mostly because Emma relegated her answers to singular words to the questions he asked.
When he brought her home, she could not be happier and quickly jumped down from the buggy before he could help her. Nevertheless, he followed her to her door and took her slightly chill hand in his warm one. Like before, the warmth remained centered there.
“Good night, Emma. I had a wonderful evening,” he spoke while staring into her eyes.
“Me too, Brandon,” she replied.
“I may have to go out of town for a while. I need to get my supplies from back home,” he told her.
“Your supplies?” she asked, confused.
“My tools,” he corrected. “I’ll need them to build the crib for the little one. I’ve also gotten a few orders from the town’s folks so it is important I get them.”
“Oh, okay,” she answered simply.
“I was hoping that I could take you for another spin and picnic at our next meeting?” he asked.
She didn’t want to disappoint him and in her mind she knew it was the right decision to make. “Sure, that would be fine,” she agreed and his smile got even wider if that were possible. It reminded her of the story called Alice in Wonderland and the fictional cat who was always smiling. It was more ensnaring than it was endearing and she shivered inwardly.
When he left in his buggy, Emma closed the door and went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. She felt a headache coming on. While in the kitchen, she saw a flicker of light coming through the parted curtains of the side window. Out of curiosity she went to investigate it. Upon closer inspection, she realized that the light was coming through the window of the property nearest to hers. It was coming from the Graber’s farm. It perplexed her as no one had lived there since Mr. Graber died a few years back. It was late, so she decided not to go and investigate it. Perhaps in the morning she would go out and see if her eyes were merely deceiving her.
The following morning she headed over to the Graber property and to her surprise she could hear the sound of hammer meeting nail. The closer she got to the farm, the louder the sound. Finally, when she stepped through the gate she realized that the sound was coming from the old barn to the side of the house. Carefully she made her way towards the open door.
“Hello!” she called out to the man whose back was turned away from her. He drove the hammer continuously over the nails of what appeared to be the frame of a gate. He did not seem to hear her, so she ventured a little further. “Hello!” she called once more. It seemed to have caught him by surprise and the hammer narrowly missed his finger. He whirled to face her.
“H-hi,” she repeated, suddenly feeling shy. “I’m Emma Lengacher; my farm is j-just over there,” she said pointing in the direction of her farm.
“Well, I guess we must be neighbors,” he replied. His husky voice sent shivers up her spine and she felt the hairs on her arms stand at attention as the goosebumps rose.
“I’m Abram Graber,” he replied with a smile. Her breath caught in her throat as she looked at his straight white teeth secure behind thick pink lips. She was so mesmerized by his smile, which invited her in so much that she almost missed his last name.
“I didn’t know Mr. Graber had a son,” she replied.
“Oh, I’m not his son,” he offered on a short laugh, “I’m his nephew, actually.”
While he spoke, Emma used the time to take him all in. Abram’s chocolate brown hair was shiny and held the promise of being silky to the touch. His light brown eyes were warm and inviting. They held a hint of humor that made her think of him as a man of laughter. Even with the slight smudge on his tan cheeks, forehead, and on his forearms and shirt she could not deny the fact that he was a handsome man. Instantly, she felt the heat rise to her cheeks. She averted her eyes and tried to look at everything and not directly at him, afraid that he would pick up on her reaction to him. This was unnatural. The only person had ever made her feel so giddy and warm with only his stare had been Josef.
“I will be living here for the time being. As you can see, I’m making some repairs to the property,” he gestured to the wood and nail bucket along with other supplies behind him.
“Oh, okay,” she replied on a short, flustered breath. “Well, welcome to the neighborhood,” she smiled at him as she held out her hand for him to shake. When they touched it felt as if he had burnt her and she quickly removed her hand from his. If he noticed her sudden withdrawal he didn’t show it, but she was completely unnerved by her reaction.
“Well, I’ll leave you to your work now,” she replied backing away
from him and out of the barn. He simply smiled at her, his warm brown eyes watching her as she retreated.
She could hear the constant knocking of a hammer in the distance from the Graber property and her mind constantly went back to Abram and his warm brown eyes. She sat on the porch conflicted as to whether or not she should take the pie she had baked to him. It was a simple gesture of civility but she was afraid of the way she reacted to him.
Deciding it was the right thing to do, she took the pie off the window sill and walked over to her neighbor. She found him in the barn once more. As soon as he became aware of her presence he stopped what he was doing. With a smile on his face, he came to her.
“Ms. Lengacher - to what do I owe your visit?” he asked.
“Well I-I baked two pies and I thought it only wise to bring you one. Welcome to the neighborhood, Abram, and please call me Emma,” she appealed.
“Emma,” he repeated, testing the word on his lips. The way the letters rolled out of her mouth on his deep voice made her shiver in anticipation. Her name sounded so foreign on his lips and yet it sounded just right.
“Thank you for your… hospitality, Emma,” he said as his eyes held hers captive. She couldn’t move; it was as if she was fixed to the spot and her eye continued to stare into his. It felt as if he was staring into the depths of her soul.
“Well, I must head back home, lots to do,” she replied, making a hasty retreat like the one she had the day before.
On the second Sunday, Elsie and her husband came for her.
“Any word from Brandon?” she asked conversationally.
“Oh yes, he came back two days ago. Mary told me herself,” Elsie replied.
“I suspect you will see him at service today.”
She did see him at service, but had not gotten the opportunity to speak with him before the service commenced. A quick glance from where she sat revealed a mop of hair the color of chocolate – Abram, she thought. She had not seen him since the last time she brought him the pie, but her thoughts were never far from him.
Emma quickly made her way outside after the service. She distinctly heard her name being called and turned to see Abram walking towards her. Her heart began to beat erratically as she waited for him to get to her. She only hoped her cheeks weren’t dominantly red.
“Hi,” he smiled at her, causing her heart to flutter.
“Abram,” she replied simply.
“I haven’t seen you since that day you brought me the pie. I hope you have been keeping well,” he spoke.
“Yes, thank you for your concern,” she answered as her heart continued to flutter.
“I noticed that you were picked up at home today,” he continued. “I could take you home and save the person the trouble,” he offered. She smiled at him and was about to accept, but stopped when she saw Brandon marching towards them. He didn’t look too pleased and she wondered why.
“Emma,” he said pleasantly.
“Hello, Brandon. I heard you were back,” she returned as he came to stand before her.
“Yes, I came back just Friday but I have been busy looking for the best wood to build the crib,” he returned. At this she threw Abram a furtive glance. He seemed totally lost by their interaction and she was somehow happy to know that he didn’t know the crib was hers – he didn’t even know she was pregnant.
“Brandon, this is Abram. Abram, this is Brandon my…” She couldn’t finish her statement. What was he to her and why did she feel suddenly guilty for introducing them?
“It’s nice to meet you, Brandon,” Abram cut in, saving her from her blunder.
“Likewise,” Brandon returned as the two shook hands. The motion was stiff and Emma could feel the tension.
“I actually came to remind you of our date,” Brandon said, bringing his attention to her as he spoke. She had completely forgotten about that.
“Oh yes, yes,” she returned as she threw an awkward glance at Abram. If he was disappointed he didn’t show it.
“I’ll leave you two,” he offered before turning a full smile on Emma. “It was nice to see you again Emma,” he replied before leaving them.
Emma tried to hide her disappointment at his departure and turned a radiant smile on Brandon.
“Where are we going next?” she asked him with as much enthusiasm as she could muster.
“I found a small alcove across town where we could sit on benches and perhaps just talk as we enjoy some of the sweets I noticed you like from the last time,” he replied.
For the remainder of the time at their neighbors’ home she couldn’t help the fleeting glances she threw towards the men’s table as they ate and spoke. Her eyes became fixated on the man with chocolate brown hair and eyes to match.
“What are you staring at so intently?” asked her sister, turning her eyes in the direction that Emma had been looking. “I see you’re warming up to Brandon quite nicely,” Elsie smiled. Emma simply returned the smile and didn’t correct her.
Soon enough she was off with Brandon and they enjoyed a comfortable evening by the small alcove. All the time, however, her mind remained on Abram and she could not bring herself to feel guilty about it. When she got home she was more than exhausted so she went straight to bed.
The following night, while she prepared supper, there was a knock at her door. Opening it, she came face to face with Abram.
“Hello, Emma, I hope I’m not interrupting anything important,” he spoke while he smiled at her.
“Oh, no, I was just about to eat,” she replied. “Would you care to join me?” she asked unthinkingly.
“Sure,” he replied. “Thank you for the offer.” Moving aside she allowed him to enter her home and proceeded to share the food she had made.
“Dinner was delicious, Emma,” he praised her and it warmed her heart greatly to be complimented by him.
“I actually came to offer my help to remove the weeds that I’ve seen growing over your garden,” he replied. “As payment for the pie and your neighborly visit,” he rushed on when she made to decline.
“Thank you, Abram. In my condition I am not able to do all of this,” she confessed.
“And what is your condition?” he asked, curious. She realized it had slipped out of her mouth since she found it so easy to speak with him. It wasn’t forced and she truly felt compelled to tell him everything. So she did.
She told him about her husband’s death, her pregnancy, the fact that her sister had set her up with men in the attempt to find her a husband, and the fact that she was currently “dating” Brandon.
“And are you truly happy with this choice?” he asked her, referring to her decision to date Brandon.
Was she happy? She didn’t know.
The only thing she could come up with was, “It’s the practical thing to do.”
“The practical thing is not always the right thing,” he reasoned, staring intently into her eyes. The liquid pools pulled her into their warmness and sent flickers of heat to course through her veins.
“You need to ask yourself this: what is it you really want, Emma?”
She didn’t offer him a reply – she couldn’t answer.
“Well, I guess it is time for me to go,” he spoke as he rose from the table. Wordlessly, she followed him to the door. “I’ll come by tomorrow to help with the weeding,” he offered and she offered him a smile before wishing him a good night.
The following morning he was there. True to his word, he went straight to her backyard and started to remove the weeds there. When the sun was high in the sky and strong enough to empty even a man of great stature, she brought him a pitcher of cool water. She made him lunch and brought it out to him. He invited her to eat with him and she obliged. This continued for the rest of the week.
He worked on his farm during the night and on hers during the day. She fed him well. The routine they fell into was comfortable and they continued that way for the rest of the week. He made her laugh and he made her think. She had never laughed t
his much since Josef’s death. Although she could never forget him, she realized that her thoughts had been predominated by Abram.
The following Monday, while Abram was out working in her garden, a knock came at the front door. When she answered it, she was surprised to see Brandon standing there.
“Brandon, what are you doing here?” she asked.
“I was in the neighborhood and thought I would visit you. How are you, my dear?” he asked.
“I am well, thank you,” she replied graciously.
“May I come in?” he asked. She could not find a suitable excuse to use to turn him away, so she moved aside and let him in.
“Would you like a cup of coffee, tea?” she asked as she seated him in the living room.
“Yes, coffee, thank you,” he replied and she quickly left to prepare the warm beverage. Suddenly, she felt a presence behind her and she turned to see Brandon in the doorway.
“I didn’t know you had company,” he said, going towards the door that led to the back porch and ultimately to where Abram was mulching the soil to plant fresh seeds.
“Oh, yes,” she rushed out. “You remember Abram? He offered to help me with the garden.”
He stopped mid-track and turned to her with an expression of displeasure.
“What are you doing, Emma?” he asked. She looked at him in confusion.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“I mean are you interested in us going further than where we are now?” he asked.
“Yes,” she blurted out without thinking.
“Then whatever you need, you should come to me,” he reasoned. “I want to be everything for you, but you need to let me be that. If you’re not willing, let me know. I can’t waste time wondering if you’ll have me or not.”
“I’m sorry, Brandon. It’s just that this is all so new to me and I am a bit confused about what I want,” she confessed.
“What you want?” he scoffed. “I thought it was to provide a stable home for your child and to have a husband who will take care of you.”
