“But, well, you have to sing with me.”
“What?”
“I, um, my uncle’s friends said they’d help me perform a song if you’d sing it. I’ve been practicing all week.”
“What? I can’t. I can’t just sing. What if I don’t know the words?” She rubbed her hands up and down her arms. “There are a lot of people here, too. I can’t do it. What if I don’t know the words to the song you’re singing?”
“How would you not know the words?” I asked, grabbing the microphone and holding it out to her. “It’s your favorite song.”
I walked up to the small stage set up in the dining hall and spoke a few words to the other musicians who were going to help me out with the performance. As I started playing, I saw Jasmine’s eyes well up as she heard, “Make You Feel My Love” by Adele filling the space.
Uncle TJ had been having me perfect the song over the past week, and seeing the way her eyes lit up made every moment more than worth it. I nodded her over, and she slowly walked up on the stage then closed her eyes and began to sing. I closed my eyes, too, and gave myself to the song, for her.
It was all for her.
Once we finished, the audience applauded like crazy, making tears roll down Jasmine’s cheeks. I walked over and stood beside her. “You hear that? Th-those are your fans. That’s for you. That’s for your soul music.”
“It’s amazing. You’re amazing.”
“Happy tears?” I asked.
“The happiest tears,” she replied.
After our meal, we grabbed two ice cream cones and walked outside to sit and watch the views as we cruised down the Mississippi River. We talked about everything and nothing, and it was all perfect. There wasn’t a second that felt uncomfortable. It just felt…good. It felt good to feel good.
“I saw you first!” She laughed, lightly shoving me in the arm. “I noticed you first.”
I laughed and shook my head back and forth. “No, you didn’t.”
“Yes, I did, Eli! I did.”
“There’s no possible way that’s true.”
“Why do you say that?”
I shrugged. “You were st-standing in the principal’s office. You wore a y-yellow sundress and you were smiling like crazy, and I remember thinking, ‘Wow, she’s the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.’”
She sank down in her chair a bit. “Eli…”
“I also thought you were on drugs, because no one should look that happy about being at school,” I joked, making her laugh and shove me again.
The way she laughed so freely made me want to make her laugh forever.
“Have you ever heard of the artist Banksy?” I asked as we coasted down the river.
She shook her head.
“He does graffiti art, and on this building coming up, it’s rumored that he created this piece. I, um, I’ve b-been trying to say something to you each day for a long time, but…my words…” I started fumbling with my fingers. “I just can’t say what I’ve been trying to say, but I can show you.”
She sat up straight, and as the steamboat glided forward, tears formed in her eyes as I gestured toward the building to show her the words.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.
“Eli,” she whispered, her voice low.
“You are, you know. One hundred percent, you are.”
After the cruise was over, we went to Frenchmen Street and sat on top of the dumpster to listen to more music behind the bars.
“This is the best day of my life,” Jasmine said as her feet swayed back and forth, and she stared up at the stars.
“Yeah. Same here.”
“Elliott?”
“Yes?”
“Are you going to kiss me tonight?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because I like you too much to do that.”
I wasn’t sure if she knew what I meant, but it was true. I couldn’t kiss Jasmine—not yet. She’d had a lot of guys use her in ways that weren’t good, and I didn’t want to be one of those guys. I wanted to prove to her that I wanted her for more than her body. Just being close to her was enough for me.
“Oh,” she replied, with a hint of disappointment.
I took her hand into mine. “I like you a lot, Jazz…more than music.”
She nervously laughed. “Don’t lie.”
“I’m not.”
“But you really like music.”
“Yeah, and I really like you.”
She smiled and combed her hair behind her ears. It was always cute when she blushed. “I really like you too, Elliott.”
“You wanna perform with me every Saturday?” I asked without a second thought as I looked at the stars.
“What?” She gaped at me.
“Do you wanna perform with me regularly?” I asked again.
“Yes.” She leaned in and placed her forehead against mine. “I do.”
When it came time to meet Ray, we walked down Frenchmen Street, stopping whenever random music caught our attention. We took it all in, and the way Jasmine smiled made me feel like a million bucks. She was having a great time, and she was having a great time with me.
I hadn’t known a girl like her could have a great time with a boy like me.
Chapter Ten
Jasmine
“I had a great time tonight,” I told Elliott through the car window after Ray dropped him off at his house. I tried to get out of the car, but Ray locked me inside to keep me from hugging Elliott.
“I did too,” Elliott said, shifting around on the sidewalk with his hands stuffed in his pants. “Th-thanks, Ray, for driving us.”
“Elliott, no need to be so informal—go ahead and call me Mr. Gable,” Ray joked, making me roll my eyes. “Say good night, Snow White.”
“Night, Eli. I’ll see you at school on Monday.”
“Night, Jazz.”
As Ray pulled away from the curb, he smiled over at me. “He’s a good kid. I hate him because he likes you, but he’s a good kid.”
I nodded. “He asked me to perform with him when he does his Saturday shows on Frenchmen Street.”
“Pop music or soul?”
“Soul.”
“Well, shit, Snow White.” Ray pinched the bridge of his nose. “Now we’re gonna have to keep lying to your mom and setting up meetings for her to go to.”
My smile spread wide. “You’d do that for me?”
“Does soul music make you happy?”
“Yes.”
“Then it’s your duty to share that happiness with the world.”
“Mama might be really mad at you if she finds out the truth.”
He huffed. “Yeah, well, when isn’t your mother mad at me nowadays? Besides, I think once she sees how good you are and how happy it makes you, she’ll be happy too.”
Ray picked Elliott and me up each Saturday, and he always stayed to watch our performances. He recorded every single one, too. I’d never seen him look excited when I sang pop songs, but when it came to the soul music, he always praised me. He didn’t know how much it meant to me, him showing up to watch me perform.
It was as if he was looking at me and saying I was good enough, no matter what.
“I’ve never seen you like this before, ya know.” Ray nudged me one night as we were driving home.
“Like what?”
“Happy.”
Ray and I made sure to make it home each night in time for dinner with Mama. She’d tell me how she was making connections with the most important players in the industry, going on and on about how I’d be discovered in no time, all thanks to her hard work.
“This could’ve happened sooner if you weren’t so selfish with your contacts, Ray. Luckily, I found my own.”
“My apologies,” Ray replied, and he gave me a smile. “Snow White has been amazing in the studio. I think you’d be proud of her.”
Mama scrolled through her emails on her cell phone. “Yes, well, I’ll hear soon enough.”
“I actually have some vid
eo of her,” he replied, taking out his cell phone.
“I don’t need to see it,” Mama said, cutting into her chicken. “I was there.”
“What?” I asked.
She stabbed the meat with her fork and placed it in her mouth. “I said I saw it. I had a feeling you two were lying, so I followed you this afternoon. I saw Jasmine performing on the corner with that strange boy.”
“He’s not strange,” I whispered.
She raised an eyebrow before cutting more chicken. “He’s strange.”
“Okay, so…” Ray sat up straight and cleared his throat. “I know you’re probably upset, but…you saw her. Her music is amazing, Heather. She was meant to perform soul music, ya know? And I think—”
“Nothing,” she cut in.
“Huh?”
“You think nothing,” she told him. She placed her silverware down on the plate and gave Ray a cold stare. “You had no right to take her there, to get her hopes up on this silly music. She’s nowhere near as good as she is with her pop music.”
“That’s a lie,” Ray argued.
“It’s not, and anyway, you have no right to decide what’s best for her. You are not her father.”
“Mama!” I cried. “Stop it.”
“I really wish you would stop that,” Ray said, his hands forming fists. “I’ve been by both of your sides for fifteen years, Heather. I watched that little girl grow up from a toddler to the teenager she is today. I gave my all to make a life for you both, so will you stop with that bullshit? Yeah, I might not be her biological father, but I am her dad, and I’m tired of you trying to take that away from me. She’s my daughter—our daughter—and maybe you’d realize she’s been so damn unhappy with the life you’re trying to force her into if you thought about someone other than yourself for one minute.”
“Force her into? She loves her life!”
“She hates it!” Ray barked. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “She hates it all, and admit it—you saw her on that corner performing, saw that for the first time in a long time, she’s actually happy, and it kills you inside that you had nothing to do with that success. It drives you insane that you couldn’t control this aspect of her life.”
“Go to hell,” Mama hissed.
“I’m already there!” he fired right back.
Mama pushed herself away from the dining room table and stood up. “You’re not welcome here anymore. You need to leave.”
“What?” I asked, bewildered. “Mama, this is his apartment.”
“Not anymore.” She crossed her arms. “Go, Ray.”
“I’m not leaving. We aren’t going to sit here and have you act dramatically and—”
“I slept with someone else,” Mama said, so matter-of-fact.
My mouth dropped open, as did Ray’s, and we just stared at her, stunned.
His voice dropped low. “Excuse me?”
“It doesn’t matter. I just, I don’t want to be with you anymore. You’re weak.”
Ray took a deep inhale. “Who was it?”
“It doesn’t—”
“Who?” he shouted. I’d never seen him look so angered and heartbroken in all my life. Sure, Mama wasn’t the easiest person to love, but still, Ray was Ray. He was a good man, and good men always hurt a little more than others.
“Trevor,” she answered softly. “I’ve spent over fifteen years with you, and you’ve never done anything for me. Trevor is different. He’s promised me so many great things.”
“Trevor Su?” he asked.
“Yes, Trevor Su. You know—the one you refused to have meet with me.”
“Because he’s a snake!”
“He’s a mogul!” She stood tall, proud. “And he’s going to change our lives.”
“You can’t work with him, Heather. You can’t have Jasmine around that asshole.”
“I can, and I will.”
“I’m serious. He’s dangerous. He’s a wildfire, and I swear to God he’ll burn you.”
Mama pursed her lips together and shrugged her shoulders. “I’d rather play with a wildfire than a weak spark like you.”
Ray’s eyes grew heavy as sadness hit him hard. It was as if the ultimate betrayal destroyed his heart. Sure, he wasn’t madly in love with Mama, but he’d never step out on their relationship. He was loyal to a fault. He rubbed his hands against his face and then blinked hard. “Fine. You win. I’m leaving.” He pushed himself away from the table. His hands clenched and his face was red from anger, but he didn’t say another word.
He just stood up and left, gently closing the door behind him.
I hadn’t known how painful a broken heart could look until I stared into Ray’s eyes that night. I hadn’t known how quickly my heart could shatter until I watched the closest thing I had to a father walk out the front door.
“How could you, Mama?” I asked, in shock. “How could you do that to him?” To me…
“He was nothing, a wannabe star who was holding you down. So, I found new opportunities. Life is about opportunities that move you forward, and Ray was getting us nowhere.” She went back to eating her chicken, and I couldn’t let go of the confusion in my chest. I knew Mama was hard sometimes, but I didn’t know she was heartless.
“But he loved you.”
“Love?” Mama asked. “Love doesn’t get you anywhere in this world, child. Don’t be ridiculous.”
“You didn’t love him?”
“I loved what he could’ve done for this family, but he didn’t follow through. Like I said, love makes people weak, and I have no time for weakness.”
“Do you love me?” I asked, terrified to hear her answer.
Her brows knitted together, and she placed her fork down. “I’ll love you the day you stop letting me down.”
I’d never known true loneliness until that very moment.
Chapter Eleven
Jasmine
Weeks passed, and Ray didn’t come back. Like the true man he was, he still paid all the bills without a moment of hesitation. For me. Everything that man ever did was for me.
Each day that went by was more painful, and Mama was more aggressive and mean. She was obsessed with working me all day and night whenever I wasn’t at school. Seeing Elliott was out of the question, and the only time we were really able to talk was in the hallways before and after classes.
I was tired. I missed Elliott, I missed Ray, and I missed soul music.
At school one Monday afternoon, a knot formed in my gut as I walked past the office and saw Mama shaking hands with the principal. I hurried over just as she was walking out of the office.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“It’s good to see you too, Jasmine,” she replied dryly.
“What are you doing here?”
She glanced around the hallways. “I don’t understand why you were so desperate to go to public school. I hated school.”
“I love it here.”
“Yes, well, now you can say you’ve had the experience. We’re leaving tomorrow morning.”
“What?”
“Unlike Ray, Trevor set up some great opportunities for you over in Europe. He even booked the trip for us and found us a place to stay in London.”
“What?” My heart flew to my throat. “No…”
“Yes. It’s going to be great. We’re meeting with the best studio known to mankind over there. They are known for making superstars.”
“I’m not going.”
“Yes, you are. I just finished the paperwork with your principal.”
What? “How long have you known this was going to happen?” I asked her. “When did you know we were going to be moving?”
Mama rolled her eyes. “Stop being dramatic, Jasmine.”
“How long?”
“A few weeks, almost a month.”
My heart fractured. “You weren’t going to tell me, were you? Until tomorrow when we were boarding a plane? If I hadn’t run into you just now, you wouldn’t have told
me we were leaving until it was actually happening.”
“What does it matter?” she asked, appearing confused by my anger. “It’s what we do—we move, we chase the dream.”
“I don’t want your stupid dream!” I cried, running away from her. I hurried down the spiral staircase toward the bathroom in the basement. I slammed my hands against the door and hurried inside, taking deep breaths. Pulling out my cell phone, I dialed Ray’s number, and a sigh of relief hit me when he answered.
“Snow? What’s up?” he asked. “Shouldn’t you be in school? What’s wrong?”
“She’s making us move,” I told him, swallowing hard. “She said we’re going to London to work with Trevor, and I don’t want to. I don’t want to go, and she’s trying to make me. Please, Ray, don’t let her take me. Please ask her to let us stay.”
“I was hoping it wasn’t true…”
“You knew?”
“Yeah. I just thought she wouldn’t go through with it. I’m so sorry, Snow White.”
Tears flooded my eyes as I shook my head back and forth. “I want to stay here. I want to stay with you. Just let me stay with you. Mama can go on her own for all I care. I want to stay here. This is the closest thing I’ve ever had to a home, and you’re the closest thing I have to a dad, Ray. Please, let me stay with you.”
There was a long pause. Each second that passed made me cry even more.
“There’s nothing I’d love more than that, Snow White.”
Yes…
“But…” he started.
No…
“At the end of the day, I don’t really have a say in that choice. I don’t get a say, because I’m not your father.”
I wondered if those words hurt him as much as they stung my soul.
I hung up the phone and left the bathroom. As I was walking the hallways, still on the verge of more tears, Elliott was standing up after being pushed around by Todd and his friends. Ever since Elliott had punched Todd, he’d been getting harassed more and more.
He never mentioned it to me, and whenever I brought it up, he’d say he was fine and change the subject.
“Jazz? What is it?” Elliott asked, walking over.
“I…I…” Tears started falling down my cheeks, and I shook my head. There were still three hours left of the school day, but I knew I couldn’t make it. I was too heartbroken to keep going to class that afternoon. “Run away with me?” I asked him. “Just for the rest of the day?”
Behind the Bars Page 9
