I swore I felt a zap the instant he made contact. My thighs clenched at his lingering touch and old school technique of backing up. He avoided looking at the backup camera display and instead relied on his mirrors and his own eyes.
When he put the SUV in drive and pulled forward, he kept his arm around my shoulders, touching me. Holding me.
I tried and failed to come up something to say. I didn’t want to talk about my work, shitty living situation, or the weather. What did the leave? Current events? I really didn’t want to ask him about his work. That was a minefield I’d rather leave alone. I wanted tonight to go well, and I had a feeling mentioning his brothers would only kill the mood.
I’d had so many conversations with Nathan before. Why is this so hard?
But Nathan apparently didn’t have any of the same misgivings.
“How was work?” He asked after we merged into traffic, his arm still around me.
“Exciting.”
“Really?” Nathan tossed me a quick look before turning back to the windshield.
“No.” I laughed. “It’s a library. I shelved books, talked to patrons, and helped someone with the copier. It’s not the most thrilling of jobs.”
“But you like it, right?”
I smiled down at my lap. “Aside from the usual drama of coworkers and bosses that happen no matter what you do, I love my job. There’s nothing else I’d rather do. I love books. I love helping people find the right books for them. I love seeing that look in a kid’s eyes when they’re excited to start reading a book…There’s nothing like it.”
Silence hummed in the vehicle after my now embarrassing outpouring. My cheeks heated, and I cursed myself for sounding like a nerdy loser.
“I can’t remember the last time I felt like that about work.” Nathan shook his head. “Maybe back before we started filming? But damn, it feels like ages ago. Years, at least.”
“Do you regret doing the show?”
“Sometimes. Today, for sure. But I can’t regret the fact that it saved Ryan’s life. If James hadn’t been working late that night when the Kings jumped Ryan… I can’t even imagine what would’ve happened to him. To all of us.”
I nodded quietly. I remembered that night vividly. Getting that call from Sabrina and not knowing what we’d be walking into in the hospital. All those hours in the waiting room, hoping like hell that he’d still be alive at the very least. It’d been horrible.
And I knew that Nathan still blamed himself for not doing more somehow. Not being there with Ryan. Not killing one or more of the Kings when we’d found out what’d happened. Nathan loved his family deeply.
“But lately work’s been…” Nathan trailed off and lifted a shoulder. “Part of it’s working with family. Everything is changing. Ryan has a baby and is getting married. Austin just proposed to Rachel. Dylan is MIA so much. It feels like I’m the only one who gives a shit about anything. It’s all falling apart, and no one even sees it, much less cares about it. They’re all too busy with other shit.”
“Leaving you to hold it all together,” I finished for him. Because that was who Nathan was—the guy with the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Nathan pulled the arm back from around my shoulders as he looked over his left to merge onto the freeway. “I’m not trying to sound like a martyr. We’ve got the shop we’ve always dreamed about and a tv show that Austin wanted. It’s just…”
“Changing.” I finished for him again.
“Yeah.” He sighed then shook his head. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to get so maudlin on our first date. It’s just been a weird day.”
“Well, I’m guessing it’s not every day that you take your sister’s best friend out on a first date?”
He shot me a look with his sparkling eyes. “No, I can guarantee this is definitely a first for me. And I swear I’m usually smoother than this. It’s just—”
“Things are changing?” I teased with a smile.
He laughed lightly as he signaled to take the exit. Pulling up to the stoplight, he turned to me and shook his head. “Yeah, but maybe some of those changes are for the better. I’m pretty sure this is one of them.”
My heart pounded at the look in his eyes.
He leaned toward me, his eyes focusing on my parted lips. I leaned toward him too. His breath feathered across my face. Our lips were inches away from each other.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeepp!
We jerked apart.
Nathan swore under his breath and stomped on the gas pedal. We ripped through the now yellow light as my heart thundered in my ears.
“Can’t a guy make out with his girl at a light anymore?”
His girl? My flush deepened as I bit back my squee. I smiled back at him. “People are so impatient nowadays.”
“Truth.”
I grinned the rest of the drive to the restaurant.
Chapter Ten
Nathan
“So.” I turned to face Maddie as we left the restaurant. Tonight had been amazing. I don’t know how I’d missed the gorgeous, smart, and amazing woman Maddie had become, but I wasn’t gonna let her slip through my fingers now that I’d seen her.
Dinner had been the best date I think I’d ever had. It was just all so easy. Talking to her. Being with her. And it didn’t hurt that she looked hella hot on the other side of the table from me. Honestly, that was my only complaint of the night—she’d been too far away to touch. My fingers ached to skim her luscious skin I’d felt on the drive over.
I made up for that now as I held her hand and tugged her to my side.
“So,” she repeated back while blinking up at me through her dark lashes. “You said something about a walk by the river?”
I nodded slowly. “We can do that.”
It wasn’t what I wanted to do at all. I’d rather take her back to my place and lay her out on my king-sized bed after ripping all her clothes off. Just the thought of seeing her naked and writhing on my sheets had my cock hardening.
But we were supposed to be taking this slow. Dammit.
And it felt hella slow as we followed the path from the parking lot to the riverfront park. Slow and tortuous. Every step caused my dick to rub against the harsh feeling cotton of my boxer briefs when all I really wanted to do was rub against her. Maddie had this bashful quality about her that made me ache to corrupt her. Would she looked shocked if I told her what I wanted to do with her? Or would she get that naughty glint in her eyes I’d seen earlier at the stoplight?
I’d come so close to kissing her. It was all I could think about as we walked along the lit path. The way she’d held her breath. That look of lust in her eyes. And it’d been ruined by some impatient asshole and his annoying car horn.
Maddie cleared her throat. “So, I got the impression you aren’t happy with Dylan.”
Nothing killed an erection quicker than talk of my brothers. Unless it was mentioning Aunt Wendy or Sabrina. I shuddered. “Yeah, we had a few words today. What’s going on with him?”
Maddie coughed lightly and looked away. “What do you mean?”
“He was MIA all weekend. Didn’t show up to work Friday. He missed family dinner last night. And today, he was all squirrely, acting pissy and moody. I mean he’s always been kinda temperamental—I think it’s the defining Burns trait—but this was different.”
Maddie pulled away and stopped on the path, facing me. “I uh, don’t really feel like it’s my place to say anything.” She hitched a shoulder and looked uncomfortable by the conversation. “If you want to know what’s going on with Dylan you should ask him.”
“You’re the one who brought him up.”
“Right. Clearly that was a mistake,” she murmured to herself, but I still heard her. She shivered slightly and then crossed her arms over her chest. “If you want to know what’s up with Dylan you should talk to him.”
I don’t know what it was, but the way she said it made me think there was something to know, something Dylan and Maddie were hiding from me
. “Is he in trouble?”
“I really don’t want to be in the middle of you two. And I’m sorry I brought it up. So if you want to know—”
“Ask Dylan. I got it.” I sighed impatiently. Maddie knew something, and it bugged the hell out of me that she wouldn’t tell me. Although at the same time, I respected that she was such a good friend. Her shivering caught my attention again. “Are you cold?”
Although it was spring, the breeze coming off the river made the air feel cool.
Maddie hugged her arms tighter. “A bit.”
“Come here.” I wished like hell I had a jacket to give her. But I didn’t.
Reaching out, I tugged her close to me and wrapped my arms around her. As her arms came around me, holding me just as tight, I was suddenly very glad I didn’t have a jacket.
I let my head rest on the top of hers and inhaled her sweet scent—something fruity and sweet. Familiar. It felt warm and comforting.
And arousing as hell.
The soft curves of Maddie’s body pressed into me. And I could tell by the hitch in her breath that she felt it too.
Looking down at her, I tipped her chin up until she met my eyes. Hers looked soft and slightly unfocused. She ran her tongue over her bottom lip, and I lost it. I covered her lips with mine and kissed her.
It was everything I’d fantasized about over dinner. Sweet. Luscious. And it made my whole body thrum. My lips moved over hers, learning what she liked, what made her groan softly in the back of her throat, what made her hands clutch me hungrily. When we finally parted—minutes or hours later—we were both breathing unevenly.
“Wow,” Maddie whispered then buried her face in my chest like she was embarrassed.
“I agree. Wow.” Maddie Roberts, my little sister’s best friend, who I used to call Mads, had me almost jizzing in my pants after just one kiss. Fuck me.
Literally.
“So, uh, this was nice.” Maddie spoke into my shirt.
I hummed in agreement, content to just hold her close to me. I’d love to do more with her, but I wasn’t eager to get slapped with a public indecency charge. Because what I wanted to do to her in that moment was indecent. And lewd. And so fucking hot. I just didn’t want an audience. I was keeping this woman all to myself.
“But um, we probably should head back. We both have work in the morning and as much as I really love being in your arms, I’m still freezing.”
I rubbed her arms briskly before stepping back. “I don’t know about you, but I’m burning up. But okay. We should head home.”
“Thank you.”
I grabbed her hand. Screw it. Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, I pulled her into my body, keeping her as close to me as possible as we headed back up the path to the parking lot.
The mood was light and so damn comfortable on the drive home. We sat in easy silence, content to listen to the radio but still holding hands because now that I’d found this woman, I wasn’t letting her go.
The only awkward moment came after I’d parked and had to pull my hand away so I could turn the engine off. I couldn’t—shouldn’t—walk her to her door since she didn’t want Ryan or Dylan knowing about us. We’d been lucky that neither of them had spotted her at my door earlier. I was so out of practice on the sneaking around front—I hadn’t done anything like this since high school.
“I had a nice time,” Maddie murmured, looking down at her fingers twisting together in her lap. Like she suddenly couldn’t look at me or something.
“So did I.” I reached over and tilted her chin up so she had to meet my eyes. “I want to do this again. Actually no. What I really want to do is drag you into my place, strip you naked, and fuck you until I can’t get it up again. But it’s too soon. So, I guess this is where we say good night?”
Her eyes dilated as I talked and her breathing grew shallow. I could’ve faked concern, but I knew exactly what was going on. She was as turned on as me. Fuck. My brothers were wrong. Clearly I’d turned into a better man because I don’t know where all this self-control was coming from. Nathan from three years ago would’ve seduced the very willing woman next to me. But I wasn’t. I’d take it slow because she wanted it slow.
No matter how much my dick protested.
“Maddie?”
“Hmmmm?”
I laughed at the bemused expression on her face. I’d love to sit in my SUV and stare at her gorgeous face all night, but she was right—we both had work tomorrow. See? So much self-control. Leaning across the seat, I cupped her face and kissed her again. Her lips were just as sweet the second time. She opened her lips and my tongue dove inside to rub against hers.
We were panting when I pulled away. Christ, this was hard. I was hard. She tasted so fucking sweet, and the dazed look in her eyes made me want so much more.
Instead, I gripped the steering wheel and sent her a tense smile. “I think maybe you should go first. I need a few minutes anyway.”
“Wha—um…” Maddie blinked then seemed to gather herself. “Right.” She grabbed her purse then shoved her door open. “Thanks. Good night.”
“G’night, Maddie. I’ll text you later.”
“Right,” she repeated. “Bye.”
Then she jumped out of my Range Rover, shutting the door behind her. She walked sedately across the sidewalk to our building with her head down. It killed me not to know what was going on in her head. It killed me to not drag her like a caveman to my apartment and fuck her sideways, but I didn’t.
Instead, I sat in my SUV and willed my erection to go away.
Thoughts of Maddie and caveman tactics sure as fuck weren’t gonna help.
Taking it slow sucked big, hairy donkey balls.
* * *
The next few days work went mostly normal. We discussed what to include in the listing for the front desk job. We worked on a bike for a cereal company. James was still annoying as fuck with his off-camera questions and thinly veiled attempts to instigate something. Dylan was quieter and more subdued than normal. And I was avoiding Austin every chance I could.
His insinuation that my anger was why I hadn’t found a woman ‘longer than a night’ still pissed me off. I couldn’t—would never—hurt a woman. Ever. He was an ass for implying it, and it wasn’t on me to make shit right between us.
If he didn’t see it that way, he could fuck off.
The only thing that made my next day kinda bright was texting with Maddie. She was cute and funny, sending me selfies of herself playing the sexy librarian in a dark corner of the library. I don’t know where she got those glasses from, but I had to see her in them. Soon.
Was it possible to get carpal tunnel from masturbating too much?
Maddie: So I just found out I have a staff meeting tonight :(
Dammit. Tonight was supposed to be date number two. Now it wasn’t happening? Fuck, this sucked.
Me: How late will it go? Can we meet up later tonight instead?
Maddie: I don’t think so. All signs point to it being a long night.
Me: How about Thursday night? Friday’s too far away.
Maddie: I was thinking the same thing. Thursday it is. I promise to make it up to you!
Of course my mind went to a million different erotic ways Maddie could make it up to me. Her wearing those sexy librarian glasses and a tight pencil skirt as I bent her over the—
“What are you doing?” Austin’s voice boomed behind me.
We were all in the shop working on the cereal company bike. Or Ryan and Austin were. I was smiling down at my phone like a lovestruck teenager.
I typed a quick reply to Maddie.
Me: Promises, promises!
Then I shoved my phone in my back pocket. “Nothing. Did you guys get the lights wired up?”
It was only when I looked up that I realized Ryan was gone. He probably left for lunch while I was busy texting with Maddie. Fuck. A quick glance to the side told me that the cameras hadn’t left. They were still focused on the two of us.
; “Not yet. You know Ryan has two left hands when it comes to wiring.” He rocked back on his heels and gave me his Dad look. Austin might’ve only been older than me by two years, but ever since our mom’s death, he’d tried to fill in the parental hole left that even Aunt Wendy couldn’t fill. It’d worked with Ryan and Dylan. Not so much with me. We were just too close in age. “Who were you texting?”
“Just another one-night-er.” I immediately felt shitty for referring to Maddie like that. She was the furthest thing from a one-night-er to me. It was fucked up on my part to use her to score points off of Austin. And did nothing to prove they were wrong about me.
“Nathan, come on. You know—”
I flung the long-forgotten wrench in my hand at my bench, cutting him off. “What I know is that you all still think I’m a hothead who’s too volatile to be a relationship. What I know is that you got no problems insinuating that I’m just like our fucking sperm donor.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“But that’s what it sounded like. You know that’s what I heard because I told you that during the same fucking conversation. And I haven’t heard a single thing from you to say otherwise.”
Austin exhaled harshly then scrubbed a hand at the back of his neck. “I didn’t mean it like that. I thought we were bullshitting. And I just said it to prick you a bit. ‘Cause that’s what we do. We tease and we roughhouse. It’s how we show affection in this family.”
“Right. I guess it’s my fault for being annoyed that you all but called me a fuckboy and that was because I hit women.”
“One, that’s not what I said. I know you. You would never hit a woman.” He turned and jabbed a finger at James. “And you better not edit this so it sounds like he does. You got me?” He waited for James to nod before turning back to me. “I thought you were on the same page as me, but clearly I was wrong. And I’m sorry.”
Torque: A Bad Boy Next Door Romance (Burns Brothers Series Book 4) Page 8
